Sign in to follow this  
acerola

Forgetting my fiances past

Recommended Posts

6 hours ago, acerola said:

Adding a link to this excellent book: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808

Humanity invented the concepts of the past and future, but when they aren't bridled appropriately they can enslave us.

I have received PMs about this topic, so please feel free to message me if you also find yourself in a similar boat.

I would love to help rid the world of the "chewed gum" analogy.

I'm very glad that you were able to overcome this trial; I would caution however on some things that I don't think are quite right.

The past and the future are not concepts humanity invented-they are very real.  For many things in life, we don't get do-overs. Actions today make the past tomorrow and determine the future. Actions have very real consequences.  

Least anyone think otherwise, fornication is an extremely serious sin with some very serious potential consequences and one should very seriously consider the potential marriage prospect of individuals who have broken the law of Chastity.  It's not about "chewed bubble gum", it's about the undeniable fact that having sexual relationships with another individual changes you. Potential consequences involve STDs, pregnancy, emotional trauma, etc. There is no such thing as "just sex".  

Yes, as a father I would seriously caution my children about marrying another individual who has willingly fornicated-and there is a big difference b/w someone who is raped and not (even though many of the same potential pitfalls exist). There are plenty of worthy individuals who have not fornicated. I'm glad that it worked out for you; but just like I would caution my children against marrying individuals who come from divorced families, abused childhoods, etc. I would caution my children against marrying those who have willingly fornicated. It may very well work out (as in your case), but you are playing with fire and any fornication better be long ago and dead and buried.

Edited by yjacket

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, yjacket said:

I'm very glad that you were able to overcome this trial; I would caution however on some things that I don't think are quite right.

The past and the future are not concepts humanity invented-they are very real.  For many things in life, we don't get do-overs. Actions today make the past tomorrow and determine the future. Actions have very real consequences.  

Least anyone think otherwise, fornication is an extremely serious sin with some very serious potential consequences and one should very seriously consider the potential marriage prospect of individuals who have broken the law of Chastity.  It's not about "chewed bubble gum", it's about the undeniable fact that having sexual relationships with another individual changes you. Potential consequences involve STDs, pregnancy, emotional trauma, etc. There is no such thing as "just sex".  

Yes, as a father I would seriously caution my children about marrying another individual who has willingly fornicated-and there is a big difference b/w someone who is raped and not (even though many of the same potential pitfalls exist). There are plenty of worthy individuals who have not fornicated. I'm glad that it worked out for you; but just like I would caution my children against marrying individuals who come from divorced families, abused childhoods, etc. I would caution my children against marrying those who have willingly fornicated. It may very well work out (as in your case), but you are playing with fire and any fornication better be long ago and dead and buried.

Thanks for responding because you made me realize how much I over generalized. Yes, the concepts of past and future are real in our minds and we can't overlook major issues in the past. You absolutey need to know if your SO has STDs and make decisions appropriately. And of course, we should remember the past so we don't make the same mistakes in the future. Having said all that, I am speaking with the assumptions from my story. If your SO has changed and is completely loyal to you, then I feel that the burden is on you to accept your SO or get out of the relationship for their sake. They are coming from a vulnerable position and should be allowed to have a fresh start. Isn't that the entire point of the gospel of Jesus Christ? For all of us to overcome our imperfections, great and small?

About your warning to your children about marrying someone who comes from a situation of divorce or abuse, I feel like that is far too harsh and is lumping those unfortunate individuals into the "chewed gum" analogy. Yes, there is baggage that comes from traumatizing experiences that could be a tough pill to swallow, but these individuals, including past fornicators, are just as deserving of participating in a loving marriage as any of us, and discarding them from the pool of potential mates is selfish and unchristlike, in my opinion.

Edited by acerola

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
18 minutes ago, acerola said:

About your warning to your children about marrying someone who comes from a situation of divorce or abuse, I feel like that is far too harsh and is lumping those unfortunate individuals into the "chewed gum" analogy. Yes, there is baggage that comes from traumatizing experiences that could be a touch pill to swallow, but these individuals, including past fornicators, are just as deserving of participating in a loving marriage as any of us, and discarding them from the pool of potential mates is selfish and unchristlike, in my opinion.

I can't tell others how they should feel about their significant others, but for me personally, if the person repented, the power of the atonement is so strong that whatever the person is guilty of is, spiritually speaking, erased out of existence and is truly no longer a part of that person.  If God can no longer remember the sin, then why should I?  As far as I personally care, the repented sin did not happen.  And if God can fix the most grievous of sins, how easy is it for Him to fix background issues not involving sin?

I love the Islamic phrase, "God is great".  God can take the lowest drug addicted adultress and, if she is willing, turn her into an exalted being, full of the highest degree of virtue and worthy of the highest degree of glory.  The atonement is real, and God, in his awe inspiring greatness, has given it to us along with the wonderful promise that anything that is wrong can be made right.  

Edited by DoctorLemon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, DoctorLemon said:

I can't tell others how they should feel about their significant others, but for me personally, if the person repented, the power of the atonement is so strong that whatever the person is guilty of is, spiritually speaking, erased out of existence and is truly no longer a part of that person.  If God can no longer remember the sin, then why should I?  As far as I personally care, the repented sin did not happen.  And if God can fix the most grievous of sins, how easy is it for Him to fix background issues not involving sin?

I love the Islamic phrase, "God is great".  God can take the lowest drug addicted adultress and, if she is willing, turn her into an exalted being, full of the highest degree of virtue and worthy of the highest degree of glory.  The atonement is real, and God, in his awe inspiring greatness, has given it to us along with the wonderful promise that anything that is wrong can be made right.  

Well said! :)

Sometimes the baggage can't simply go away, and there will be emotional pain for a lifetime, but we all have baggage we deal with. I'm thankful that my wife didn't bail on me for my own baggage. Marriage is about being friends and supporting each other through good times and bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know how to PM you, but I was wondering if I could? I stumbled upon this a few weeks ago and it helped me immensely, but the anxieties keep coming back and was wondering if I could ask some more specifics about what helped you? Please and thank you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this