Exemplars Of Thought

[Dr T]

Yes, I will. :)

[Fiannan]

Not a headline but interesting. Russian police in Volgograd want policewomen for traffic patrols. State for job seekers:

Mr Tsukruk said applicants "don't have to be blondes with long legs, but we'd like them to be attractive... let people admire them!"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/5293262.stm

Russians are cool!

[Dr T]

That would be "good" for traffic control?

That is hilarious Fiannan. Thank you,

Dr. T

[Dr T]

Nepal boy lobbies for short record

From USA Today on 8/31/06

This is not a funny thought/headline I just thought it is amazing.

Picture can be seen here: http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2006-...-nepalboy_x.htm

Dr. T

[Guest MrsS]

Thanks all of you for posting the link to the title. I really am enjoying reading all of these stories.

[Dr T]

Man lived to 112 on sausage-and-waffles diet

“All of his organs were extremely youthful. They could have been the organs of someone who was 50 or 60, not 112. Clearly his genes had some secrets,” Coles said.

‘A mysterious case’

“Everything in his body that we looked at was clean as a whistle, except for his lungs with the pneumonia,” Coles said. [physician doing autopsy] “He had no heart disease, he had no cancer, no diabetes and no Alzheimer’s.

“This is a mysterious case that someone could be so healthy from a pathology point of view and that there is no obvious cause of death.”

He remained in good health and continued driving until he was 102, when his vision began to fail.

From the MSN homepage found here http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13119227/?GT1=8506

I wonder if he could have challenged the lady in Ecuador for the oldest living person at 116 before she died earlier this week if he had eaten healthier?

[Dr T]

Woman Orders Bears Out of Her Kitchen

Associated Press

Originally published September 1, 2006

Found here HTTP://WWW.BALTIMORESUN.COM/NEWS/SNS-AP-KI...R,0,13780.STORY

Maybe the bears should have waited patiently in the dinning room like all the other animals. I mean, it's not very polite to just barge into the kitchen to talk to the chef. By the way, the Colorado woman is 72 years old. Here is what she might have looked liked like to the bears.

Dr. T

Flower Bandit Leaves Thank You Note

Found here http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/sns-ap-fl...0,1528082.story

in other news, Gnome owner distressed at the note given her by a rogue Canadian resident. The gnome owner is reported to look like this

[Lindy]

ROFL.... OH Dr. T....thank you so much for the laughs...it felt good. :)

[Dr T]

I was reading an article about teachers’ pay and CEO’s of a major company. Here is an excerpt,

According to the American Federation of Teachers, the state with the highest average pay for teachers in 2003-04 was Connecticut, at $56,516; the lowest was South Dakota, at $33,236.

Or look at it this way: Pick a corporate chieftain — say, Jeffrey R. Immelt of General Electric. He earns $15.4 million a year. Every single day — including Thanksgiving and Christmas — he makes almost what the average teacher does for a year of taming wild children, staying up nights planning lessons, and, really, helping to shape a generation.

found here http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/03/business...ey/03count.html

The CEO example they gave Mr. Immelt, remember, the person who makes 15.4 million a year

bounced a $2000 check

that he gave as a gubernatorial donation. That article found here http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.htm...0Jeffrey%20R%2e

I can see how that could happen but it’s just ironic that someone with that much money can pass a check with insufficient funds.

[Lindy]

In 1959, the Kokomo Tribune of Indiana announced that to cut the costs, the city police would close each night from 6 pm to 6 am and one can leave their messages on an answering machine, which will be screened by an officer in the morning. It will also lessen the pressure of work as many of the calls would be old by that time and there would be no need to answer them. A spokesman for the police commented that in the case there is an emergency call in the night, they can go check the hospitals and the coroner in the morning and know if anything has happened or not!

Oh my goodness.... that's the media for you...announcing the easiest way to take advantage of a given situation. ...Can you imagine? "hey dad I'm going out with the guys to have fun for the night" "OK son, be back by 10"..... "no problem dad... we'll be all done by then.....where's my duffle bag?"

In 1991, the London Times announced the cabinet's approval of the plan of Department of Transport to alleviate overcrowding on the M25, the circular highway surrounding London by making the traffic on both carriageways travel in the same direction. Thus, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays the traffic would travel clockwise while on Tuesdays and Thursdays it would travel anti-clockwise. On weekends, traffic can go on as usual.

Many people voiced their protest. A spokesman for Labor Transport warned that many people have 'trouble telling their left from their right.' A resident of Swanley, Kent said that the scheme was impractical because the villagers using the motorway to go for shopping to Orpington, would have to drive just for two miles on some days and 117 miles on others. Well, it was just a joke.

ROFL...can you imagine?

Thankfully, (it was) just April Fool hoaxes or they would have had drastic effects and might have resulted in rebellions, revolutions and mass movements to dethrone such stupid and eccentric authority.

http://www.thefoolsday.com/silly-rules.html

[Lindy]

Silly Laws Around The World

Here are some of the funniest laws that can only be meant 'by fools for fools' because surely wise and people in right mind won't think of making such laws, let alone having the need to put them down as such in their legal books:

Different states of the United States have some unique yet foolish and eccentric laws of their own. In Alabama, putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death and keeping an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time is a crime. A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets. In Alaska, you may hunt a bear safely but it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities.

In Arizona, US, donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs and you may be imprisoned for 25 years for cutting down a cactus. In Arkansas, schoolteachers who bob their hair are not eligible for a raise and it is illegal to buy or sell blue light bulbs. In Baldwin Park, California, nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool while in Los Angeles, a man can legally beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.

In Philippines, cars whose license plates end with a 1 or 2 are not allowed on the roads on Monday, 3 or 4 on Tuesday, 5 or 6 on Wednesday, 7 or 8 on Thursday, and 9 or 0 on Friday from 7:00 AM onwards to keep roads free of traffic jams.

In Singapore, it is illegal to come within 50 meters of a pedestrian crossing marker on any street.

In South Korea, traffic policemen are required to report all bribes that they receive from motorists.

In Sweden, prostitution is legal but it is illegal to use the services of a prostitute.

In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM.

In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house without wearing underwear.

http://www.thefoolsday.com/silly-laws.html

Good thing I don't live in AZ..... I can still keep my donkey in the bathtub!

[sgallan]

Good thing I don't live in AZ..... I can still keep my donkey in the bathtub!

CRAP! (Scott runs to get his donkey out of the tub!!)

[Dr T]

Those are great Lindy. Thanks.

[Dr T]

From the EastAfrican 8/28/06 http://www.nationmedia.com/eastafrican/cur...l2808200616.htm

“A new bridge between Africa and the United States was built last week…”

I would really love to see that bridge! And just think, it was made in just ONE week!!!

Dr. T

[Dr T]

In an emotionally charged press conference Monday, crazed Palestinian gunman Faisal al Hamad expressed frustration over the stereotyping of his people.

"As a crazed Palestinian gunman, I feel hurt by the negative portrayal of my people in the media," said al Hamad, 31, a Hebron-area terrorist maniac. "None of us should have to live with stereotyping and ignorance."

He then began screaming and firing into a busload of Israeli schoolchildren.

"It hurts that in this supposedly enlightened day and age, people still make assumptions about other people," al Hamad said. "We should not rely on simple generalizations. Each crazed Palestinian gunman is an individual."

From The Onion

Sometimes just reading these shows there is no need to comment.

===

ICE Arrests 15 Aliens in Roswell Working for U.S. Military Contractor - headline, Immigration and Customs Enforcement press release, Aug. 29

found here http://www.ice.gov/

Actual picture of one of the aliens:

[Dr T]

78 percent of White and 70 percent of Black teenagers surveyed said that lack of communication between a girl and her parents is often a reason teenage girls get pregnant. - Arizona Republic, Aug. 31

can be found here http://localsearch.azcentral.com/sp?keywor...rcent+of+White+

In other news: 22 percent of White and 30 percent of Black teenagers surveyed said that sex is the reason teenage girls get pregnant.

[Dr T]

Missing Evidence Not Found - headline, Clarion-Ledger (Jackson, Miss.), Sept. 5

found here http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll...D=7325605257037

Well, that would explain "missing"; genius.

[Dr T]

I know this might be hard to believe but it was in the news:

Man's Body Found in Des Moines Cemetery - headline, Associated Press, Sept. 4

No, it's true.

Dr. T

Stingrays 'Not a Big Issue' in Delaware - headline, News Journal (Wilmington, Del.), Sept. 5

Out of respect, no comment.

[Dr T]

Police Hoping to Expose Serial Flasher - headline, KYW-TV Web site (Philadelphia), Sept. 5

As if he needs any help?!

===

Women 'Form Half of All Migrants' - headline, BBC Web site, Sept. 6

In other news-Woman form half of all native-born as well.

Dr. T

[Dr T]

Scientists Probe How Protein Staves Off Hunger - headline, CBC News (Canada), Sept. 5

I can tell them-You eat it! That wasn't so hard.

[Princess3dward]

Scientists Probe How Protein Staves Off Hunger - headline, CBC News (Canada), Sept. 5

I can tell them-You eat it! That wasn't so hard.

LOL!

[Dr T]

Life for woman who BBQs husband and feeds him to tigers - headline, Daily Mail (London)

Now I don't think anything else needs to be added to this headline. It stands alone.

[Guest funkyfool]

i like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain and ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again

[pushka]

'QUOTE(MrsS @ Sep 8 2006, 06:25 AM)

My neighbor delighted in having the Missionaries over for dinner.END QUOTE'

Was his name Hannibal Lecter, by any chance?

Did you have an unusually high turn over of Missionaries in your area...lol

[Princess3dward]

'QUOTE(MrsS @ Sep 8 2006, 06:25 AM)

My neighbor delighted in having the Missionaries over for dinner.END QUOTE'

Was his name Hannibal Lecter, by any chance?

Did you have an unusually high turn over of Missionaries in your area...lol

lol. You took his advice!