Exemplars Of Thought

[Princess3dward]

Thanks L.H.,

That is a funny way to say, "I lied." The next time I (unwittingly) say something that is inaccurate when talking to my wife, and it comes to my attention that I’m wrong-I'll have to use that. I'm sure she'll appreciate it.

Ya... appreciate it.....

*note to self: scold future husband anyway, no matter what "clever" renarks he comes up with*

[pushka]

I'm cheating, hope these fit into this category...

This is a reprint of a 'readers' letters' from Bella magazine in the UK:

'SIGN LANGUAGE

When I worked as an air steward we used to collect amusing signs and notices that we came across in our travels. Here's a selection:

In an Athens Hotel:

'Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11am, daily.'

At a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

'Laidies are requested not to have children in the bar.'

In a Paris hotel lift:

'Please leave your values at the front desk.'

At a Bangkok dry cleaner's:

'Drop your trousers here for best results' and at a Hong Kong tailor's shop:

'Ladies may have a fit upstairs.'

In a Japanese hotel:

'You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid,' and in a Tokyo car rental brochure:

'When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.'

And on the door to the office of a doctor in Rome:

'Specialist in women and other diseases.''

[Laureltree]

lol you guys ...that was good

[Dr T]

Thanks Pushka,

If you can find it, I'll take it. These really make me laugh. Thanks.

Laguna Hills Jewel Heist Was Smooth -- but Videotaped

By Garrett Therolf

It took workers 45 minutes to realize they had been robbed of hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of merchandise. Authorities think the recording will yield clues. From LA Times Orange County section 9/21/06

This one isn't really funny but my first question was, "What else do you think video servalience at a jewelry store is for?" Um-CLUES!

Dr. T

[LionHeart]

Warning label on a fan belt for a car:

WARNING!!! Shut engine off before changing fan belt.

[Lindy]

Very good Pushka! Those were great!

I am enjoying them all

Thanks for starting this thread Doc!

ohhhh on my box of fish sticks.....be sure to take fish out of plastic bag before placing in oven

[Dr T]

Thanks Lindy. I really enjoy these things too. The sad thing about your last post is that someone prob. put them in the oven without doing that first!

[Dr T]

LAHORE, Pakistan (AP) — About 1,000 Muslim clerics and religious scholars meeting Thursday in eastern Pakistan demanded the removal of Pope Benedict XVI for making what they called "insulting remarks" against Islam.

Benedict "should be removed from his position immediately for encouraging war and fanning hostility between various faiths" and "making insulting remarks" against Islam, said a joint statement issued by the clerics and scholars at the end of their one-day convention.

The "pope, and all infidels, should know that no Muslim, under any circumstances, can tolerate an insult to the Prophet (Muhammad). ... If the West does not change its stance regarding Islam, it will face severe consequences," it said.

found here http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2006...lims-pope_x.htm

The -irony (at minimum) or more accurately, hypocritically using their own standards, ought they, those clerics and scholars and other Muslim clerics remove themselves or demand the removal of them for encouraging war and promoting hostility amongst other faiths or making insulting remarks against other religions? I know it talks about their prophet specifically, my point is they are calling for refusal to allow others to talk about their "sacred" religous beliefs while it is ok to do that to others.

Dr. T

[Dr T]

Hold on to your hats for some VERY IMPORTANT NEWS!

Autumn Arrives - headline, Herald Times Reporter (Manitowoc, Wis.), Sept. 22

Removal of Tree Is Approved - headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), Sept. 22

Sheriff's Office Reports 'Uneventful' Night - headline, Tallahassee Democrat, Sept. 22

Can you believe those? They're true.

Dr. T

[Dr T]

"N.Y. English Scores Drop Sharply in 6th Grade - headline, New York Times, Sept. 22

Reading Scores Rise for City's Eighth-Graders - headline, New York Sun, Sept. 22

Hmm... makes me wonder, "Should I send my children to N.Y. for English courses in their 7th year of study?"

[Dr T]

Bottled water has never gone down smoothly with many environmentalists, who view it as an extravagantly wasteful way of quenching a thirst, but the product is facing criticism from an unexpected source — religious groups.

Some churches in Canada have started to urge congregants to boycott bottled water, citing ethical, theological and social justice reasons. Bottled water, they argue, is morally tainted and should be avoided.

In British Columbia, for instance, the First United Church in Kelowna no longer wants bottled water on the premises. “We are starting to make the church building a bottled-water-free zone,” said Sandi Evans, one of the 350 congregants.

The St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church in Ottawa used to sell bottled water at its fundraising events, but stopped this year. “We're not doing that any more,” congregant Heidi Geraets said.

And last month, the United Church passed a motion urging its nearly one million Canadian adherents to leave bottled water on the store shelves, unless alternative sources of safe water aren't available.

“Water is seen increasingly as a saleable commodity, [being used] to make a profit,” said David Hallman, a United Church official, “as opposed to our perspective of it being an element of life and good for all creation.”

So...making a profit is evil?

I've almost willing to bet that those complaining about paying for water are in fact paying for their water. Do you think that they have a hand pump for their water. Do they have a well with a bucket? What about in the country where they have a well that runs on electricity. Do they pay for that? Do we hear them complaining about paying for that water?

Dr. T

[Dr T]

This is actually a great headline:

Killer teddy bear behind deaths of 2,500 fish

How on earth is that possible you might ask. Go here to see how: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15004927/?GT1=8506

Dr. T

[JoshuaFKon]

This is actually a great headline:

Killer teddy bear behind deaths of 2,500 fish

How on earth is that possible you might ask. Go here to see how: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15004927/?GT1=8506

Dr. T

Are you trying to ruin the good name of teddy bears everywhere?!

Josh

[Dr T]

No sir. Only murderous ones. You wouldn't happen to be one would you? Shakespeare might have had it right...

[JoshuaFKon]

No sir. Only murderous ones. You wouldn't happen to be one would you? Shakespeare might have had it right...

I would be more careful when I spoke to a ninja teddy bear!

Josh

[Dr T]

You scared me.

[JoshuaFKon]

You scared me.

Sorry :)

But as we have seen some teddy bears are evil. Is your teddy bear evil? Take the Test

Josh B)

[Dr T]

The link didn't work.

[JoshuaFKon]

<div class='quotemain'>

You scared me.

Sorry :)

But as we have seen some teddy bears are evil. Is your teddy bear evil? Take the Test

Josh B)

fixed it! :)

[Dr T]

That's funny Josh. I also learned a new word: "anticlockwise"

I've always called that counter-clockwise :)

[Princess3dward]

LOL! Anticlockwise! LOL!

You guys have the greatest links!

[JoshuaFKon]

That's funny Josh. I also learned a new word: "anticlockwise"

I've always called that counter-clockwise :)

Prehaps "word of the day" material?

Josh

[Dr T]

Scientists to Test Koala Contraceptive - headline, Associated Press, Oct. 1

Options:

"T-T-T-R-O"

or

"Next they'll be passing them out in the local Koala high schools"

Any others?

Dr. T

[Dr T]

The Drudge Report has the following headlines:

ABC ONLINE GLITCH LEADS TO IDENTITY OF FOLEY ACCUSER

FEATURED IM EXCHANGE WAS WITH 18 YEAR OLD

Does anyone really think this makes it non-scandalous?

Dr. T

[Dr T]

Court Fights Hurt Children - headline, USA Today, Oct. 5

As if it's not bad enough to fight children but hurt children ... !!!