temple worker... to be or not to be?

[sister_in_faith]

The reason I started this thread was because I had a sincere question about temple service. It seems to have spun out in a different direction, which I'm sure happens a lot, and that's fine. I have been 100% open and honest with people's very personal questions in hope of helping my 'new online friends' understand my situation. That has backfired on me. I have never sought anyone's opinion on the status of my relationship with my boyfriend, and to be honest, right now I really don't care what anyone's opinion is. I have consulted an attorney (which I already said... I only looked up the definition of a single word on wikipedia, I did not consult them for legal advice, which should be plainly obvious to anyone who has read my posts, ugh!) and I have consulted my bishop, and my previous bishop on the matter. I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings, but I will take the advice of my bishop over posts on lds.net. I feel comfortable with the advice my priesthood leaders have given me. I don't understand all the ins and outs of church policy, and I don't know why we qualify to be sealed after his death. You would have to ask my bishop.

Insofar as if Dravin is 'judgemental' or not... I would better describe my experince with him as 'hostile'.

I am a very devout member of the LDS faith. I am a 32 year old virgin, and I live up to my covenants faithfully. I literally feel sick to my stomach reading the above post... Im sorry I can't figure out how to get it to quote on this post... I have never had anyone question my worthiness like this before, but believe me the people for whom I do temple work, and the people who help perform the ordinances, are happy to see me come to the temple. I am a good, kind, loving person. I have kept my faith up despite huge obsticles and discrimination that comes with being the only member in a family in a mostly non LDS community. I am worthy of my recommend.

It doesn't matter if I am 'legally' married. The church is very well aware of my situation. They are fine with me living with my boyfriend. They know that I want to be sealed to him. I want to be married to him, I made that clear in an earlier post also. I just know that right now, he doesn't want to. This is a personal matter. I'm sorry that I answered questions earlier. I should have just said, My bishop knows my situation, he gave me a recommend, and that should be enough for you guys. I'm too open, too honest, too gulible I guess.

Anyway. I am not, and have not, solicited opinions on my legal marrital status. I have also not, and will not, open up the floor to discussion my worthiness for a temple recommend. Please respect me, as a sister, and drop this... it has gone beyond a lively discussion into open hostility, disrespect, and questioning something that is very precious to me, my worth.

To everyone who posted honestly helpful posts, THANK YOU!!!

[Dravin]

Folks, are you sure you mean Dravin? At least I'm not inclined to think posting some court opinions to show that common definitions of a term don't always match up with legal definitions is either judgmental or hostile. I can't help but think my name got crossed with someone else's.

That said, if you feel a post has been inappropriate (moderator or not as the poster) please report it with an explanation of why you feel it is a violation of the site rules or otherwise inappropriate. The site rules can be found here: Terms & Conditions » LDS Social Network The report button is the little triangle icon at the top right of every post.

Edited October 4, 2011 by Dravin

[Vort]

Insofar as if Dravin is 'judgemental' or not... I would better describe my experince with him as 'hostile'.

Are you sure you're reading Dravin correctly? I have not detected a bit of hostility in what he has written. Mostly, he has cautioned that "common law marriage" has a specific legal definition that varies between states, and you need to pay attention to see if and how your relationship might fulfill that definition. As far as I can see, he hasn't been critical of you or judgmental toward your situation. My experience with Dravin is that he is not like that.

[zuko725]

I think if you pray about it (which you said you have) and feel it's right for you then by all means, go for it! I think working in the temple would be a wonderful oppurtunity! Good luck and I hope everything works out :)

[sister_in_faith]

Lovely, it still doesn't change that one shouldn't go seeking legal advice from Wikipedia.

This is what I feel was 'hostile'. Perhaps a better word was sarcastic. I don't know. I guess I have always felt like sarcasm is a form of hostility (passive aggressive perhaps?)... Dravin maybe you can clarify how I should have interpreted those posts? And while you are at it, could you explain what I have done to upset you, if in fact I have earned your disapproval?

And let's not rehash the common law thing... I already made clear that it's a non issue to me. at this point it's kind of:deadhorse:

Edited October 4, 2011 by sister_in_faith

[Dravin]

This is what I feel was 'hostile'. Perhaps a better word was sarcastic. I don't know. I guess I have always felt like sarcasm is a form of hostility (passive aggressive perhaps?)... Dravin maybe you can clarify how I should have interpreted those posts? And while you are at it, could you explain what I have done to upset you, if in fact I have earned your disapproval?

The first post:

Quoting dictionaries or generic Wikipedia definitions for legal terms is unwise and unreliable.

The second post:

It's great that you feel the legal status of your marriage is moot, but that's a non-sequitur to my point.

Edited October 4, 2011 by Dravin

[Leah]

I have not seen anyone being hostile. Not even close. I have seen them be concerned so as to HELP YOU in your wish to do Temple work.

I have seen people trying to clarify, trying to help you (which you clearly do not see), trying to understand the situation as it does not square with anyone's experience. I am trying to understand how an unmarried woman living with her boyfriend (as you routinely refer to him) qualifies for a temple recommend. I have found no one other than you who says this is possible without a legally recognized marriage (and here is why). You have provided no information as to how that is possible (all of these bishops you have spoken with must have it explained it to you) other than to pretty much say that as long as YOU consider yourself "married", that's all that matters.

I am out of this thread. You hear what you want to hear and see what you want to see and don't consider other people's knowledge or experience, other than to view people who disagree or ask for clarification as somehow attacking you. There is no discussion to be had here.

[sister_in_faith]

I have been pondering becoming a temple worker for a few years now... I am disabled and have some memory issues. I have prayed about it in the temple and the spirit told me not to worry about that being a stumbling block. My bishop thinks it's a great idea, I just have to 'formally' ask, and I haven't yet. I don't know why I am having a hard time deciding when to do this. I really just want to be useful and help people, and I think that this is the perfect opportunity hummm...

Anyone have any experiences they would like to share about serving in the temple as a worker that would help me take the plunge???

Leah... Can you explain how questioning if I am even temple worthy, with a caution about those for whom I do temple work possibly not enjoying their eternal benefits etc etc HELPS answer the question I asked for help on, which was, again, "anyone have any experiences they would like to share about serving in the temple as a worker that would help me take the plunge???" Forgive me for not seeing attacking my temple worthiness as helpful.

I understand that my situation is not common, but I hoped that sharing the reasons behind it would help you all to understand. I felt like even after a FULL explanation I was still being questioned, which really still confuses me. I thought that people would feel compassion for my situation...

If, in fact, I have misunderstood someone in this thread I appologize.

I agree with Leah... I hope that this thread dies, I wish it had died right when we got off topic... ugh!