question about temple work

[sister_in_faith]

Okay, I know I will have to ask at the temple to be sure, but I thought I may as well ask here and get a few opinions...

I have permission to do my boyfriend's family's temple work.

My boyfriend's father was married twice.

Do I have to get permission from his father's first wife's family to do her temple work? If I do, I won't pursue it, but when I was doing the temple work and sealing for his second wife (my boyfriend's mother) I got the distinct impression that the first wife was not happy about being excluded.

The father is buried next to the first wife, and so I would seal them together also and let them figure out what they want to do with it from there!

But it was such a huge impression on me that the first wife was not happy about the sealing between him and the second wife that I almost didn't go thru with it. It was crazy!

[applepansy]

Yes you need to get permission.

I wonder what happened in life to make her so unhappy about the sealing. Have you found the stories about what happened to their marriage?

[sister_in_faith]

She passed away at a young age after having several children with my boyfriend's father. He remarried my boyfriend's mother and they had one child, my boyfriend. ugh, confusing.

The marriage to my boyfriend's mother always seemed a bit odd to me, they never met or courted. They were 'referred' to each other by family (living in the same area) and they decided to meet. They both drove halfway to meet each other (they lived in different states), met, and married the same day.

She was a WONDERFUL mother and wife (old german family - great cook). I visit her grave every few months and leave flowers, and I always feel like she is with me. Doing her temple work was awesome.

But it always confused me why she allowed her husband to be burried by his first wife, while she is buried halfway across the cemetery alone.

I mean if I was in this situation, I don't care how much my husband loved his first wife, he is getting buried by ME. If there is room she can be on his other side, but if not, too bad!

But in all seriousness, when I was walking towards the sealing room with the card in my hand I could feel how happy the second wife was, and I could feel the husband there, and he was calm, but the first wife seemed so upset it was almost like there was something pushing me back away from the room. I really had to stop and pray about it. I realized that THIS sealing was about the two people that were happy, and I wouldn't take this ordinance away from them just because of something else holding me back.

I wonder if she is upset because she knows that her work isn't going to get done until the millenium... I'm not sure. I have never felt her before, but man she was NOT happy on that day.

I know this all seems supernatural and wierd, but these were MY impressions in the temple. I hope I'm not the only one who has these kinds of feelings when doing temple work, otherwise maybe I need to update my meds... :)

Edited November 5, 2011 by sister_in_faith

[sister_in_faith]

But in all seriousness, when I was walking towards the sealing room with the card in my hand I could feel how happy the second wife was, and I could feel the husband there, and he was calm, but the first wife seemed so upset it was almost like there was something pushing me back away from the room. I really had to stop and pray about it. I realized that THIS sealing was about the two people that were happy, and I wouldn't take this ordinance away from them just because of something else holding me back.

I have to admit I was really disappointed about this, because I have been dreaming about the moment I would seal my honey's parents together for years now. I hoped it would be a joyous occasion, and it really ended up being stressful. I was so worried that I was doing the wrong thing.

Even now I worry that maybe I did something wrong, the impression was so strong not to do it. What would you guys have done? Have you ever had the impression in the temple that an ordinance you are about to do is 'wrong'? The only reason I went thru with it, was because I COULD feel how happy the people who were getting the ordinance done were. If I hadn't felt that I probably wouldn't have gone thru with it. Just wait and let them sort it out later.

Hummmm, what do you guys think?

[john doe]

A sealing does not force people to be bound together for eternity who do not wish for it. They still have to accept it and decide for themselves if that is what they really want for it to be binding. We are merely providing them that opportunity if they so choose.

[Blackmarch]

She passed away at a young age after having several children with my boyfriend's father. He remarried my boyfriend's mother and they had one child, my boyfriend. ugh, confusing.

The marriage to my boyfriend's mother always seemed a bit odd to me, they never met or courted. They were 'referred' to each other by family (living in the same area) and they decided to meet. They both drove halfway to meet each other (they lived in different states), met, and married the same day.

She was a WONDERFUL mother and wife (old german family - great cook). I visit her grave every few months and leave flowers, and I always feel like she is with me. Doing her temple work was awesome.

But it always confused me why she allowed her husband to be burried by his first wife, while she is buried halfway across the cemetery alone.

I mean if I was in this situation, I don't care how much my husband loved his first wife, he is getting buried by ME. If there is room she can be on his other side, but if not, too bad!

But in all seriousness, when I was walking towards the sealing room with the card in my hand I could feel how happy the second wife was, and I could feel the husband there, and he was calm, but the first wife seemed so upset it was almost like there was something pushing me back away from the room. I really had to stop and pray about it. I realized that THIS sealing was about the two people that were happy, and I wouldn't take this ordinance away from them just because of something else holding me back.

I wonder if she is upset because she knows that her work isn't going to get done until the millenium... I'm not sure. I have never felt her before, but man she was NOT happy on that day.

I know this all seems supernatural and wierd, but these were MY impressions in the temple. I hope I'm not the only one who has these kinds of feelings when doing temple work, otherwise maybe I need to update my meds... :)

You're not alone. These sort of impressions, presences, and feelings happen a lot in the temple, sometimes even more intense than that.

[Blackmarch]

I have to admit I was really disappointed about this, because I have been dreaming about the moment I would seal my honey's parents together for years now. I hoped it would be a joyous occasion, and it really ended up being stressful. I was so worried that I was doing the wrong thing.

Even now I worry that maybe I did something wrong, the impression was so strong not to do it. What would you guys have done? Have you ever had the impression in the temple that an ordinance you are about to do is 'wrong'? The only reason I went thru with it, was because I COULD feel how happy the people who were getting the ordinance done were. If I hadn't felt that I probably wouldn't have gone thru with it. Just wait and let them sort it out later.

Hummmm, what do you guys think?

Id have gone through with it, then when it would be appropriate ask God to help and comfort them.

[Madriglace]

Sounds to me like she was not happy that her work wasn't being done. Does your husband have 1/2 siblings that he can get permission from? Doing work for family is so wonderful. Saturday I am doing work for a grandmother born in 1582 ... she is sealed to her parents but her work was never done ... when I did the initiatory she was there and so excited.

Good luck ... this lady wants her work done ... maybe she will be able to soften the heart of who ever is asked for permission.

[sister_in_faith]

I don't want to rock the boat, or get my honey to 'revoke' permission for me to do the rest of his family work... he's not a member and not a big fan of me doing his family's temple work. So at this time I'll just have to let it slide... when I get all of his family done, then maybe I can come back and work on her stuff.... I agree, she wants her stuff done, and I feel awful that I can't do it right now!

[Madriglace]

One thing to do is be sure to stress that we do this work because we believe in families being together forever but that it is totally up to the person to accept or reject ... if they don't want it itis not binding on them.

[annewandering]

You might consider just asking if he minds if you ask his half siblings if you can do his fathers first wives work. If he says yes he minds then just let it go for now although you might do some praying to encourage someone else to do her name.