Why I am here at your site.

[cwald]

Hello all.

For the last month or so, I have been lurking here mostly, and posting occasionally. Perhaps now is the time to introduce myself.

I came to this site to see what active, everyday, orthodox LDS members were like. I am thinking about returning to some level of activity in the church, and just want to know if there is any point to doing so. (Please no need to respond to this comment though, as i have already addressed this in a separate thread.)

Now, I am still a member even though I don't attend church. I was a blue-shirted, bearded, beer-drinking EQP for about five years ---- mostly out of default because there was no one else to do the job. .

I remained an active mormon for years and served the people in my branch, and give a lot of credit to John Dehlin and his website StayLDS and the philosophy of finding a "Middle-Way" of involvement. I also post at NOM. I use my same avatar and call name for all of these sites and am not trying to troll your site in anyway.

I have never been an "orthodox" LDS member, and I left the morcor almost 20 years ago, and moved to VERY remote part of Oregon and attended a small branch that is/was much different type of mormonism than what I find outside of my area. We do things a little different here.

I quit the church because my family in Idaho, and so many of the members made me feel so uncomfortable and "unwelcome" with all the conservative politics, authoritarianism - like the 14 fundamentals of the prophet, and focus on what I would call Pharisaical commandments. That is just my opinion.

That being said, I still love the mormon people. I think they are "true" for the most part. I still love my mormon family. I also love mormonism - the search for truth and enlightenment. I just don't like the church, the organization.

From watching the "I Am Mormon Ads," I want to believe that the church I grew up in has evolved and has become much more progressive and tolerant of dissent and differing opinion, lifestyle, and perspective - perhaps I, the real cwald, is welcome in the Mormon church after all, and i want to be fair and give my tribe the benefit of the doubt that things are different now than when I lived in SW Idaho in the 80's.

Since I live in remote Oregon, about two hours from the closest ward, and with the exception of my own family which i think is quite insane, I really have no idea of what "the church" is really like, and if they just want conformity, or if they really want diversity and people like me.

I came here to find out.

I hope this intro does not violate the board rules. It's just my sincere honest reason for lurking here.

This is why I am here.

Out

[pam]

If I might ask a question. There have been numerous people who state they post on a NOM website that have joined the site lately. Are you all coming from the same site? It just seems a little too coincidental.

[cwald]

If I might ask a question. There have been numerous people who state they post on a NOM website that have joined the site lately. Are you all coming from the same site? It just seems a little too coincidental.

I don't know of any other NOMs over here besides The Beast, which is who told me about this site. If there are other NOMs, I would assume it is coincidental. I know of no grand conspiracy coming from the New Order Mormon website, if that is what you are asking. I can assure you I am VERY interested in "understanding" what active mormons, especially those from the morcor, believe and think, and how they interact with others who differ on faith and opinion. That is why I am here.

Edited November 12, 2011 by cwald

[Guest]

(What is NOM?)

People aren't "true", and never will be. Only Christ, who is perfect, is perfectly true. It is in His Gospel that we find what will make us "thirst no more". If we're looking at the people around us to see if they're living well enough to prove Him, we will always be disappointed. But if we look to Him and His words and believe on His Gospel, and do our best to prove our own faithfulness, and then try to see others as He does, then we have a pretty good shot at finding peace. Good luck in your quest, whatever it may be.

[cwald]

And, I have been walking on eggshells over here, btw. I have "behaved" myself I think, and been treated pretty rudely for the most part

If I am not welcome, you can say so. I will leave and just let it be.

[LittleWyvern]

Ah, a fellow Oregonian! And I thought driving 1 hour to stake conference (and 3 1/2 hours to the nearest temple) was remote!

Well, welcome, officially! :)

[cwald]

(What is NOM?)

People aren't "true", and never will be.

I'm true.

[cwald]

Ah, a fellow Oregonian! And I thought driving 1 hour to stake conference (and 3 1/2 hours to the nearest temple) was remote!

Well, welcome, officially! :)

Thank you. You must live in Eastern Oregon to be that far from the temple. I'm actually a member of the Bend Stake. Are we close? You can PM me if you want.

[LittleWyvern]

Thank you. You must live in Eastern Oregon to be that far from the temple. I'm actually a member of the Bend Stake. Are we close? You can PM me if you want.

No, Coos Bay Stake, halfway between Portland and Medford. Bit of bad luck, maybe

[Guest]

I'm true.

I guess that depends on how you're using the word, and what your expectations are. Because I'm thinking of it in context of "The Church is true", which speaks of the Gospel and doctrine of the church, not the membership, which is made of imperfect people who will make mistakes. How do you mean "true"?

[annewandering]

what part of sw idaho did you come from? I am from oakley. I did not like the people here when i grew up. they were very unfriendly to my whole family who were converts.

Now my family is more accepted although I am not sure I am. There are lots of new people here and most all do try harder to be nice to everyone.

Still I love the gospel. People in the church have nothing to do with that. Now or when I was growing up. I really feel like I came back here to learn to forgive them and to see them in a different light if possible. Sometimes its a trial but then I am sure I am a trial to them as well. lol.

Dont let others decide for you how to live your life and iive the gospel. Its too important.

[pam]

I was born in La Grande and have many family members that live in Prineville.

[Guest]

I'm in the Boise metro area and I have a very welcoming, charitable, friendly ward full of imperfect people who are doing their best. I've lived in Idaho most of my life and I've also been in not-so-friendly wards. I find it's had more to do with geography and classism (for lack of a better word) than church membership. The Church is still true, even when some of the people let themselves get tripped up by silly things.

I'm really not trying to be rude. I just want to point out that from my perspective, you swooped in with an attitude of "prove to me that you deserve my presence", which is rather off-putting.

[cwald]

Please just let me say that the "mormon people are true" and that "I am true" in my introduction without mincing words and debate, and having to parse every definition and statement that I make?

To say that the mormon people are true, is one of the nicest things I could think of to say about a group of people.

[Guest]

But I honestly don't know what you mean, because that's not the usual use of the word. So I'm asking for clarification.

[cwald]

I'm in the Boise metro area and I have a very welcoming, charitable, friendly ward full of imperfect people who are doing their best. I've lived in Idaho most of my life and I've also been in not-so-friendly wards. I find it's had more to do with geography and classism (for lack of a better word) than church membership. The Church is still true, even when some of the people let themselves get tripped up by silly things.

I'm really not trying to be rude. I just want to point out that from my perspective, you swooped in with an attitude of "prove to me that you deserve my presence", which is rather off-putting.

Okay, thank you for your honesty.

[cwald]

what part of sw idaho did you come from? I am from oakley. I did not like the people here when i grew up. they were very unfriendly to my whole family who were converts.

Now my family is more accepted although I am not sure I am. There are lots of new people here and most all do try harder to be nice to everyone.

Still I love the gospel. People in the church have nothing to do with that. Now or when I was growing up. I really feel like I came back here to learn to forgive them and to see them in a different light if possible. Sometimes its a trial but then I am sure I am a trial to them as well. lol.

Dont let others decide for you how to live your life and iive the gospel. Its too important.

I grew up in Weston Idaho.

I agree with you --- and I do not let others decide how I live my life and the gospel. I am like you I suppose --- just trying to figure out this whole mormon tribe thing, my culture, and where I might fit in the scheme of things.

[cwald]

But I honestly don't know what you mean, because that's not the usual use of the word. So I'm asking for clarification.

I don't know what you want me to say or explain? Why is the word "true" an issue?

The mormon church is good. The mormon people are good. I'm trying to give a sincere compliment to the LDS people who post at LDS.net.

What do you want me to say?

[Guest]

I thought I explained myself pretty well, re: the Truth of the Gospel vs. how people can be "true".

Let's try this: What are you true to?

[Dravin]

Please just let me say that the "mormon people are true" and that "I am true" in my introduction without mincing words and debate, and having to parse every definition and statement that I make?

You have two choices when someone isn't sure how you mean something:

1) Explain what you mean.

2) Leave them in the position of having to guess.

If you go the route #2 then don't complain when people misunderstand you. What you mean is of course quite evident to you, it's not always so evident in a group of relative strangers. People have a variety of ways of communicating and impart all sorts of meaning into the things they say, we have quite a few different communication styles (and connotations are almost as varied as the people who hold them) them rolling through here and sometimes people still have difficulties understanding regulars, if one isn't sure how someone means something SOP is to ask. We aren't your family or your buddies who have known you for years so that we have an intimate grasp on how you communicate and the meanings you tend to infuse into words or your preferred senses for words.

Edited November 12, 2011 by Dravin

[cwald]

I thought I explained myself pretty well, re: the Truth of the Gospel vs. how people can be "true".

Let's try this: What are you true to?

No. Take my sincere compliment of you and the LDS people, or not. It's up to you. I'm not parsing lingo and word usage in this introduction thread.

Edited November 12, 2011 by cwald

[Guest]

[cwald]

Really? -sigh- Just let it go.

[Mamas_Girl]

That being said, I still love the mormon people. I think they are "true" for the most part. I still love my mormon family. I also love mormonism - the search for truth and enlightenment. I just don't like the church, the organization.

How can you love the Mormon people, and love Mormonism -- but not like the church, the organization?

[skippy740]

No. Take my sincere compliment of you and the LDS people, or not. It's up to you. I'm not parsing lingo and word usage in this introduction thread.

Can I try?

Being a "true" person is in contrast to being duplicitous or "two-faced"... saying one thing and doing another. Being true is in having integrity and being more sure of themselves.

How's that?