Do missionaries only meet with someone who's committed to baptism soon?

[imdonel8r]

Have you thought about bring up some of your questions to your teachers? Maybe in Gospel Principles? I actually was visited by the missionaries for 2 years before I was baptized after my wedding.

I think one thing you need to think hard and long about is why you are having a hard time with the missionaries not seeing you regularly? Missionaries change out often so you will not always have the same relationship with them. Not to mention after your baptized you will be seeing the missionaries much less.

[scsquishysc]

My DH and I were recently on exchange with missionaries (we are ward missionaries) and they'd been working with a couple for several months on getting toward baptism. One in the partnership wanted it and the other didn't. They were sort of at a standstill the night we were there. I asked the elders about it as we were taking them home and they said that they couldn't continue to visit the couple if they weren't going to progress towards baptism. They were REALLY upset about it, as they like the couple as people, not just investigators. I asked them about it. They indicated a two-fold reason: 1) they are on a spiritual mission right now. If they aren't teaching the couple, as the couple doesn't have further questions at this time, they are simply sitting there making small talk and being friends. While it's good to have a friendship, their mission is for spiritual reasons and developing a (in this case - maybe not yours) goofy friendly relationship where they aren't doing missionary work will remove the Spirit in some ways from their work. They work hard to stay focused on the Spirit and their work in the field.

2) They don't want to pressure you. You've said "not right now," so they are giving you the space that you need/want at this time. In their position, they can only do so much until you are ready for baptism. They should still visit here and there but I agree with a previous post...ward missionaries should/could be picking up here and really making you feel welcome, even if you aren't baptized yet. I

t's a perfect church...but not perfect people. These missionaries are only 19-21ish...they don't have perfect social skills!

[Dove]

Hello, Max;

Gee, I'm so sorry for how you are left feeling after your interactions with the missionaries.....

From what little I've read, it sounds like you have been "investigating" the church for awhile, have felt like you have been pretty close to being ready in the past for baptism; but, now, feel turned off by your interactions with the missionaries.

I have some ideas you may want to consider during your decision making process in this.

A core teaching in our gospel is the gift of agency (being allowed one's freedom to choose). No one should be forced/pressured/coerced or pushed into accepting the gospel. If you have been feeling that you have been, maybe consider setting some simple boundaries. Allow the missionaries to stop teaching you, if that is what they have expressed they wanted to do/not do. If people start lecturing you, maybe a polite way of changing the subject, ending the conversation or expressing your discomfort might be a positive way of ending that.

Meanwhile, it sounds like you have been studying the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for awhile now. That you have some disagreement with some points of doctrine....Might I suggest that you list out what you disagree with/don't understand, and go to God in prayer about it. Also, study the topic (You mentioned exaltation as being one of your concerns) in the scriptures and our current standards concerning it. Our scriptures are very detailed in their tools to help one study different topics. The topical guide in the Bible, the index in the Book of Mormon, and all the many footnotes in both are just a few of the tools given for one to study out different topics that may concern them. Also, lds.org has a whole list of topics with the current standing of the church's input on them available to anyone seeking to know...

I have been a member of the lds faith all my life. I believe deeply in the doctrine; yet, have learned to "let go and let God" as far as different people are concerned. Meaning, that when my journey in the gospel is about coming to Christ and the Father through the Holy Spirit is my focus; then I succeed in finding love and peace. When I diverge from this and focus on "the arm of flesh," i.e., what other people are dong around me, it tends to cause me to wander from the peace and love I was seeking though God. People are people wherever they are......and I have found that in general focusing on some one else to give me the deep spiritual answers I am looking for instead of going "within," i.e., listening and obeying what God is directing me to do, comes to naught, no matter where I'm at.

When I do listen to the Holy Spirit, I can only acknowledge how powerfully I have felt it through the covenants I have made in being baptized and in the temple. I know the power of the priesthood in the LDS church is very real and lives up to what it says it is; which is mainly the authority to act in God's name here on earth. I always feel the Spirit while reading the Book of Mormon. It uplifts me on a daily basis.

May I suggest that you go to God yourself in prayer and study as you sort these things out?

So sorry to you and your family concerning your mother and her health. Please keep us updated as to how she's doing~

Thanks

Dove

[Shelly200]

Being baptized into a new church is a big deal; don't take the matter lightly. If you don't feel ready to be baptized, then don't. The missionaries are already members and have already taken their faith journey, now you have to make yours. If that leads to baptism, great! If it doesn't, then that's okay too. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't feel committed to. Many people do not like the idea of being baptized after only a few weeks of lessons; some people like to investigate more thoroughly first.

At the same time, though, do not let two young missionaries discourage you from the church completely. If you feel called to baptism, get baptized. If you feel called to baptism next week, next month, next year, when you're 80, then get baptized then. But if you feel called to baptism, then DO get baptized, even if the missionaries are off-putting. Simply send them on their way; you can learn from the church itself, in meetings and through appointments to talk with people about your questions.

Don't let yourself feel like a number checked off a missionary's list; do what God is calling you to do in all things, whether that is baptism today, baptism next month, or baptism never. If you obey God's will, everything else will fall into place.

Oh, and whatever illness your mother has, I pray for her swift and thorough recovery.

[Yehshen]

I've been reading all of the discussion on this thread, and wanted to throw my perspective out there. I just joined the church, after investigating for 6 months or so.

First, you should not be baptized until you are ready. The missionary's goal is to baptize as many people as soon as they are ready. That is not your goal. Your goal is to make sure you are ready. I worked with two or three sets of companions as they changed out over 6 months; some were better than others (for me). It probably was a combination of personality fit, my readiness, and how the missionaries read the signals I was throwing out.

(And by the way, I definitely was throwing out mixed messages), as I vacillated between "gee, this sounds cool, and really really familiar" and "this is crazy".

A couple of thoughts: did the missionaries invite other members of the ward to your lessons? I really felt having a third party there helped, because I didn't feel as pushed to make commitments. Every time the missionaries asked me for a commitment I took a step backward. The elders who somehow figured this out and backed off were the ones that eventually heard me say, ok, schedule the baptism.

Do you know that once you are baptized,they repeat the same lessons again, with a little more depth? I found my learning continued more after baptism...not sure whether church members were more willing to commit to teaching me (probably) or whether I was more receptive (again probably).

And somebody alluded to the fact that once someone gets close to baptism, the "adversary" - I think that was the wording - gets busy and creates barriers. OK, now frankly, I don't believe the devil does this. I refuse to believe this. Except:

It was 2 weeks between the time I agreed to be baptised and the scheduled date. Those were the worst two weeks of my life. The self doubt....buyer's remorse, if you will, really set in. I had major problems sleeping, everything went wrong, at work, at home, weird things happened with friends. That continued throughout the night of the baptism: I literally sat in my car outside the church and debated whether to go in. The doubt - poof - went away immediately at baptism and I felt a tremendous peace.

So, you need to be sure you want to be baptised when you say it, because I suspect you will have some self doubt, and maybe that's what you are feeling right now. But I wanted to share my experience. Take the time you need.

[Vort]

And somebody alluded to the fact that once someone gets close to baptism, the "adversary" - I think that was the wording - gets busy and creates barriers. OK, now frankly, I don't believe the devil does this. I refuse to believe this. Except:

I had to laugh reading this, because it sounds like me. I, too, refuse to believe certain things. In my case, it was the fiction that there is a "one and only" who is made for you and with whom you are destined to be. The whole Saturday's Warrior-ish idea.

Except:

That's what happened to me. So now what?

[Tyler90AZ]

It is important to note not all missionaries are alike. The missionaries that taught and baptized me were extremely laid back, they never once asked me to get baptized. I am thankful everyday that they were not pushy, if they would have been pushy the first lesson I probably would not have been responsive. Maybe if you are scorned by these missionaries too much, you can wait for the next cycle of missionaries to come through.

I understand how they could be pushy though, they love this gospel and want to share it. Can you blame them really? I would be concerned if they did not want you to get baptized. Their desire to have you baptized should show you how great their testimony is. Don't be offended by the strength of their testimony, rather let it serve as a strong witness that this is the true church.

I like you, became friends with "my" missionaries too, they were great guys. They were some of the only people in the church I knew, they were somewhat of a security blanket. This was one of the sources of my concern prior to being baptized. I wavered back and forth, the adversary tempted me and that was one of his tools. However, once I got baptized, a great feeling came over me. I felt the love of God and of all the saints. I now know I was feeling what it was like to be a fellow citizen with the saints.

I was not a missionary(sadly), but I know some of what your going through. The best place to ask questions is right here, if the missionaries can't answer them.

[FunnySheila]

I had the same issue when I first got in contact with Missionaries. They tried to pressure me into baptism and making a decision (the third time they met with me). I tried to explain to them that to me it is a HUGE thing, a big decision to make, and I wouldn't want to do it lightly. I got scared away by the pressuring and then avoided all contact with them until almost two years later when I tracked down the church myself and was by then ready. Both times I was equally sincere in meeting with the missionaries and learning etc... but it was only with time and being at a different place in my life (emotionally, mentally and spiritually) was I ready to make that decision. I am glad that my experience with the missionaries the first time, didn't scare me away for good, as it could well have!

One of the young male missionaries even said to me, "Don't fence sit, you need to make a descision," and I was like, "But you are talking about my eternity here, I can't just make a decision like that without thinking about it and coming to a conclusion myself. You just can't ask that of me." And at that time, the last thing I needed from them was pressure. But again, with time and change in my emotional and spiritual life and understanding, I was able to make that decision quite easily and with that calm sense of peace of knowing.

Don't let the pressuring scare you away; when you are ready you are ready, no sooner and no later.

Edited January 4, 2012 by FunnySheila

[jayanna]

I was just wondering if you have gone to Gospel Principles class? It is one of the classes during the 3 hour block that is for new members and investigators. I was just thinking that if you are missing that class, you are missing quite a lot. Skipping that class repeatedly might give the signal to the missionaries that you are not nearly as interested as you might say that you are. I would suggest going to that class and studying the manual for your own edification, meeting others in the class, and get on those knees :) There is nothing like personal revelation to help you make a decision.