NessaBee Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Hello everybody. My fiance and I are getting married this month. We're both members, however, we are not getting sealed in the temple yet. We would like to know how a Wedding Ceremony for LDS Members would be like. By the way, we're having the ceremony in a room inside of the church building and the reception in the cultural hall (gym). My fiance's Bishop is officiating and we haven't gotten a chance to talk to him about it yet. Have any of you gone to an actual wedding of LDS members (who haven't been sealed yet, i.e., NOT just a ring ceremony, but an actual, legal marriage)?. Is it like a "normal" wedding? Does the Bishop read specific vows or can we write our own vows? Is there an opening/closing prayer? Or is that done by the Bishop? As of right now, I'm assuming that since LDS members are only encouraged to be sealed, that there isn't a specific way to have a ceremony. So if you have been through this kind of experience or if you know of or have witnessed something like this, would you please share what it was like? Thanks a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 My first marriage was inside an LDS ward building. It wasn't really what we wanted but there was a lot of pressure on us from family to do it. It took place in his hometown up in Idaho. That was the first time I'd met most of his family and the bishop. We arrived a day before the wedding. We briefly met with the bishop and he basically gave us both a pep talk on being loving, selfless and supportive of each other. He asked if we had vows, otherwise, it wasn't a big deal. We didn't. After the wedding ceremony, we had our reception right there in the auditorium. Very simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 My daughter was married at our church a little over a year ago. We had the ceremony in the cultural hall (which was decorated and didn't feel like the cultural hall.) We then moved out the upholstered chairs and set up the tables for the reception. Basically the ceremony is like any other wedding. If you want to walk down an aisle you can. If you want to say your own vows you can. Just talk to your bishop. For the most part he will be doing most of the important parts. No ring ceremony because rings are usually part of a civil ceremony, but you choose. Among LDS members being married civilly happens more than you would think.... well more than most people think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 I was married in the RS Room, two years ago. It was a second wedding for both of us, so we made it fun. We walked down the isle together, since we figured, I wasn't my dad's to give away, anymore, I had been married before. The Bishop gave some simple advice, asked if we take eachother, prononced us married, had us exchange rings, and told us to seal it with a kiss. Pretty simple, basic, and just like the TV cerimonies, only no one jumped up to stop us. I think you can ask the bishop what he's going to do, and if you want something added, have him do it. I think as long as it isn't odd, he would do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 ...Basically the ceremony is like any other wedding. If you want to walk down an aisle you can. If you want to say your own vows you can. Just talk to your bishop. For the most part he will be doing most of the important parts. No ring ceremony because rings are usually part of a civil ceremony, but you choose.... All a ring ceremony is, is an exchange of rings. So I would think that a church building wedding ceremony would have an exchange of rings.M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 All a ring ceremony is, is an exchange of rings. So I would think that a church building wedding ceremony would have an exchange of rings.M.We did exchange rings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezebel2011 Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 The normal wedding ceremony, either the Temple or the Ward building does not have a specific section for exchange of rings where they say anything about the rings. Our Ward weddings in the Chapel have been simply that the couple exchange rings and everyone watches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) Basically the ceremony is like any other wedding.The basically being things like this: A wedding ceremony that is held in a home or Church building might include prelude music, hymns, special musical selections, and postlude music. Civil marriage ceremonies should be simple, conservative, and without pomp in the proceedings. When a wedding ceremony is held in a Church building, a wedding march is not appropriate.Link: Music*No wedding march, and it needs to be a conservative ceremony but then I imagine most people having a Chapel wedding aren't looking to emulate the latest Hollywood nuptials.No ring ceremony because rings are usually part of a civil ceremony, but you choose.A church wedding (as opposed to a temple wedding) is a civil ceremony, so you can exchange rings during it. Are you confusing the counsel concerning exchanging rings at the temple?Exchange Rings Outside of Temple“Though the exchanging of rings is not part of the temple marriage ceremony, rings may appropriately be exchanged at the conclusion of the temple marriage ceremony in the room where that ceremony takes place. To avoid confusion with the marriage ceremony, it is not appropriate to exchange rings at any other time or place in the temple or on the temple grounds.“A couple may exchange rings in locations other than at the temple. The circumstances should be consistent with the dignity of their temple marriage. The exchange should not appear to replicate any part of the marriage ceremony. For instance, there should be no exchanging of vows on that occasion” (Bulletin, 1989-4, p. 1).Linky: LDS.org - Ensign Article I'm assuming it's a Church bulletin it's referencing. Edited January 18, 2012 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 The basically being things like this: Link: Music*No wedding march and conservative ceremonies but then I imagine most people having a Chapel wedding aren't looking to emulate the latest Hollywood nuptials.A church wedding (as opposed to a temple wedding) is a civil ceremony, so you can exchange rings during it. Are you confusing the counsel concerning exchanging rings at the temple?Linky: LDS.org - Ensign Article I'm assuming it's a Church bulletin it's referencing.OK, here's where I get a little confused. We were going to have a procession to some simple music (not the traditional "Here Come's The Bride" bit), nothing extravagant whatsoever. Just your typical wedding processional. It includes the wedding party, and me at the end (e.g., ring bearer, flower girls, maids of honor, parents of Bride/Groom, bride, etc.). What I want to know is if this is considered a "wedding march"?? I'm REALLY hoping that it isn't because my side of the family (non-LDS) are REALLY looking forward to this part and are expecting it to be included, so was I.We talked to the Bishop about having the ceremony in the chapel. Then he told us about the "pomp" and "wedding march" part in the handbook. So we decided to move it to a different room within the church building to avoid doing anything sacrilegious. But now I'm hearing that the guidelines actually encompass the whole church building. Is this true??As for the ring exchange, we are planning to do that toward the end of the ceremony (like traditional weddings). I'm pretty sure that this is OK. Like a lot of you mentioned, I am going to speak with the Bishop with my fiance this upcoming Sunday to clear things up. I was just hoping that I could gather a few experiences to get a general idea of what to expect. Actually, I received more responses than I expected initially so thanks everybody :) I really appreciate your input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) We talked to the Bishop about having the ceremony in the chapel. Then he told us about the "pomp" and "wedding march" part in the handbook. So we decided to move it to a different room within the church building to avoid doing anything sacrilegious. But now I'm hearing that the guidelines actually encompass the whole church building. Is this true??The Handbook says Church building not chapel so I would assume it covers the whole building, but it's probably best to ask your Bishop. There is one restriction I know of that is chapel specific off the top of my head and that is the photo/video recordings restriction...*digs it up*21.2.10 Photographs, Video Recordings, and Broadcasts in ChapelsTaking photographs or making video recordings in chapels is not permitted. Meetings and other events that are held in the chapel may not be broadcast over the Internet or by any other means (see 18.3.1 for an exception).Linky:Selected Church Policies Edited January 18, 2012 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Nessa, yes talk with your bishop :] Oh and congratulations! Yay, how fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 PS. I honestly can't say whether or not we had a "wedding march".. Cos I don't remember.. Wow, how your brain forgets things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 The Handbook says Church building not chapel so I would assume it covers the whole building, but it's probably best to ask your Bishop. There is one restriction I know of that is chapel specific off the top of my head and that is the photo/video recordings restriction...*digs it up*Linky:Selected Church Policies*Yikes. And actually, part of the reason we decided to move it to a different room was so that we could have the photographers take pictures. I guess I'll have to wait (anxiously) until Sunday. Thanks anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 We actually walked down the isle to "Pomp & Circumstance." Yes, it was in the RS room, but my bishop didn't say anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Nessa, yes talk with your bishop :]Oh and congratulations! Yay, how fun.Thanks! It's SO exciting.Also, yes, memory is a funny little thing .I'm still confused as to what exactly sets apart a "procession" from a pomp "wedding march", or if they're actually considered to be the same thing. I should probably take some notes and bring them with me Sunday. After all, there is no telling when your memory will fail ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Yikes. And actually, part of the reason we decided to move it to a different room was so that we could have the photographers take pictures. I guess I'll have to wait (anxiously) until Sunday. Thanks anyway. Depending on how technology savvy your Bishop is he may have an email address you can ask him the question through (and even better you can link to a YouTube video of what you have in mind), any member of your fiance's ward should be able to look and see if he has one listed (the Ward Directory is available online these days). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 We actually walked down the isle to "Pomp & Circumstance." Yes, it was in the RS room, but my bishop didn't say anything.Really?? Hmm, then maybe I shouldn't worry about asking the Bishop... Just kidding.We were actually going to hold the ceremony in the RS room too! But then our guest list grew, and grew, and grew. Initially, it was suppose to be a very small wedding, I'd say about 50 people or so. It's still a bit small (about 75 people now) but it's more than what would fit comfortably in our RS room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 All a ring ceremony is, is an exchange of rings. So I would think that a church building wedding ceremony would have an exchange of rings.M.exactly :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 I can't remember the music my SIL and daughter walked in with. It was appropriate and neither Bishop voiced any opposition. The day before as we were setting things up and such, my SIL said "LDS chapels should be built for weddings." I replied with a big smile "SIL LDS weddings happen in the temple, not the chapel." He smiled back but got the point. I'm a pushy MIL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Depending on how technology savvy your Bishop is he may have an email address you can ask him the question through (and even better you can link to a YouTube video of what you have in mind), any member of your fiance's ward should be able to look and see if he has one listed (the Ward Directory is available online these days).Thanks but unfortunately, the Bishop doesn't check his e-mail as often as we'd like. But it's a given since the man's got a lot on his plate to begin with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Thanks but unfortunately, the Bishop doesn't check his e-mail as often as we'd like. But it's a given since the man's got a lot on his plate to begin with.At least yours has an email. Mine doesn't, and he is not an old guy, he should know how to use a computer. Maybe it's a choice. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Really?? Hmm, then maybe I shouldn't worry about asking the Bishop... Just kidding.We were actually going to hold the ceremony in the RS room too! But then our guest list grew, and grew, and grew. Initially, it was suppose to be a very small wedding, I'd say about 50 people or so. It's still a bit small (about 75 people now) but it's more than what would fit comfortably in our RS room.Come to think of it, I don't remember asking him. LOL! I think we just had my friend play some piano music while people came and sat down, then I had him hit "play" on my MP3 player and we walked daown the isle to that. Haha. It was last minute for us, we had thought of it the night before. oops?? I had no idea this might not have been ok. But he didn't say anything after the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NessaBee Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 At least yours has an email. Mine doesn't, and he is not an old guy, he should know how to use a computer. Maybe it's a choice. :) Yeah, but now that I think about it, there are plenty of people who use e-mail to communicate nowadays. If the Bishop's phone isn't blowing up, I can only imagine how full his inbox must be! Not to mention, there's also the stress of having to return all those calls AND e-mails. Yikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 The term wedding march was mentioned in this thread, which confused me, so I looked up the difference between wedding march and wedding processional, here it is:What Is the Difference Between a Wedding March & Wedding Processional?A wedding march and a wedding processional are easily confused, but there are important differences between the two. It is important to know the proper definition of each if you are planning a wedding.ProcessionalA wedding processional marks the beginning of a wedding ceremony. The processional is the entrance of the bridal party, bride and groom for the ceremony.MarchThe wedding march is the song that is played during the processional. The song typically has a slow rhythm, allowing the members of the wedding ample time to walk down the aisle. The march may be played again at the end of the ceremony.http://www.ehow.com/facts_5798735_difference-march-_amp_-wedding-processional_.htmlM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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