Difficult co-workers

[Suzie]

I started a new job back in September last year and it seems that my personality and the way I handle things at work (unconventional they are saying) is bothering some people (the field is quite uptight and so are the people).

In a few months I became quite "popular"... in both a positive way to a lot of people and negative to the ones who think I should become more conventional. My work has never been a problem because I work very hard and gives results. Its the methods I use to accomplish the goals that some people find it hard to accept and the fact that well... I am outspoken.

When I first started the job they made the assumption that I was not very smart because of the way I look (a very foolish assumption) and they treated me accordingly. As the time passed, things got a little more difficult and right now they are making things really hard for me.

I admit it. I don't like to work with women. I find them (generally speaking and in my experience) very difficult to get along with, petty, gossipy and vindictive however I have always been polite, friendly, and helpful with everyone. I don't have any problems with my male co-workers or my female boss. It's just this group of women who just seem to be obsessed with me at the moment even though I never had any issues with them (never an argument, etc).

How do you deal with difficult co-workers?

[mtnbikemom]

I would flat out ask your co-workers if there is a problem and what it is. My experience has been that often just acknowledging a problem and/or calling them on their behavior is enough to initiate behavior change-maybe from just sheer embarrassment. Could be they are intimidated or irritated that you choose not participate in the most sacred of female pastimes: gossiping and passive aggressive craziness. As a woman I am often shocked at how our supposed predisposition for nurturing is counter-balanced by sheer meanness. Guys get in a fight at work, throw a few punches and walk away friends. Women resort to creating what could be mistaken for "Survivor: Workplace"-Season 612. Alliances, tribes, voting teammates out, etc. (full disclosure: I've seen maybe 2 episodes of Survivor so I may be way off base with the comparison). It's disgusting.

On a related note, women are bent on blaming men for perceived inequalities in the workplace and hostile work environments while ignoring the role they play in creating those problems. We need to work on ourselves first (not directed at you Suzie, but your co-workers).

[Tyler90AZ]

I started a new job back in September last year and it seems that my personality and the way I handle things at work (unconventional they are saying) is bothering some people (the field is quite uptight and so are the people).

In a few months I became quite "popular"... in both a positive way to a lot of people and negative to the ones who think I should become more conventional. My work has never been a problem because I work very hard and gives results. Its the methods I use to accomplish the goals that some people find it hard to accept and the fact that well... I am outspoken.

When I first started the job they made the assumption that I was not very smart because of the way I look (a very foolish assumption) and they treated me accordingly. As the time passed, things got a little more difficult and right now they are making things really hard for me.

I admit it. I don't like to work with women. I find them (generally speaking and in my experience) very difficult to get along with, petty, gossipy and vindictive however I have always been polite, friendly, and helpful with everyone. I don't have any problems with my male co-workers or my female boss. It's just this group of women who just seem to be obsessed with me at the moment even though I never had any issues with them (never an argument, etc).

How do you deal with difficult co-workers?

I would be overly nice to them and remember they are threatened by you.

[Guest]

I find it easier to deal with co-workers if I group them into 2 groups:

1.) The ones who can affect my job peformance and my pay.

2.) The rest.

If I have a problem with #1, I do my best to find the best route to achieving a good job performance while keeping them happy.

I never see #2 as a problem that needs to be solved. They can do whatever... my main purpose in the workplace is to do a job and get paid for it and be a good representative of my self. Socialization only comes secondary and is unnecessary.

I tell my kids the same thing about school. There are 2 kinds of people in school - the ones I learn from and give me a grade, and the rest. Don't worry about the rest. Socialization only comes secondary in school. The main purpose is to learn something.

[annewandering]

All the aforementioned things may well be true but it wouldnt hurt to smile, ask how they are and keep track of some of their concerns to ask about. Kids for instance. It would make you seem friendlier and in fact it might just help you to see them as more human and take a real interest in how they are doing.

If nothing else, both, you and them, might stop seeing each other as the enemy or at least less an annoyance and more as fellow humans. :)

[Bini]

There's always two sides to every story.

I agree in part with, Tyler - be nice to these ladies. I agree fully with, Anne - find it within yourself to sincerely ask how they are doing. Most people enjoy and take pride in talking about their kids and grandkids. You don't have to have a full blown conversation, just simply say, "hey, how's the family", or something along those lines. Side note, try to get away from the "me against them" attitude. You mention that you don't work well with other women. Maybe it's time that changes? After all, regardless of how many of a certain group of people annoy us, we cannot lump everyone in the same group under a blanket statement.

[mnn727]

Be nice towards them but otherwise ignore them.