How do you "help" missionaries?

[Vort]

Elder Bednar seemed to imply that the missionaries "hung out" at his house, and that it was not until he shamed them that they sort of shaped up. My own feeling is that I don't really want the missionaries hanging out at my house after dinner, so I don't usually even provide them enough rope to hang themselves.

If your missionaries are not really go-getters, what is the best way to encourage them? Thank them profusely as you escort them from the house? Give them a stern but loving parental lecture? Do nothing, then tell them you would never trust them with your friends because they aren't trustworthy?

[MrShorty]

I'm non confrontational enough that I'd probably make sure my family had (maybe even invented) some other appointment or errand that needed me/us to be somewhere after an appropriate time. If nothing else, with 5 girls in the house, we can always think of some excuse to need to go shopping.

[skippy740]

Heck, as the priesthood holder of the house... all you need is an excuse that takes YOU away from the house where they're not supposed to be with all those girls.

Maybe go out on splits with them after dinner?

[Guest]

Back in my working days, I worked in an eye doctor's office with a very cute, single female coworker. The missionaries found all kinds of reasons to come in. More and more missionaries would come in. My boss was LDS and started saying things like, "You guys on lunch break? Don't you guys have anything to do?" and we finally had to ask them not to come in without an appointment. It was ridiculous. That's not the only time I heard of missionaries in my area basically looking for wife prospects, and in fact I know of a couple of guys who came back right after they were released at home to get "their" girls. One of those missionaries actually got home to Arizona, got released, turned around and drove back to Idaho only to find that my coworker had no interest in him.

Anyway. . . I think sometimes these young guys do need to be reminded why they are where they are.

We always try to keep the conversation on their work, the Gospel, who we're hoping will be open to teaching, etc. I don't think anyone does them any favors by being buddy-buddy and making the relationship casual.

We actually asked one companionship how we could best help them, and they said the best thing we can do for any missionaries is find people for them to teach.

[applepansy]

Making sure they know that you know the expectation and are going to help them meet them works well.

[MorningStar]

Elder Bednar seemed to imply that the missionaries "hung out" at his house, and that it was not until he shamed them that they sort of shaped up. My own feeling is that I don't really want the missionaries hanging out at my house after dinner, so I don't usually even provide them enough rope to hang themselves.

If your missionaries are not really go-getters, what is the best way to encourage them? Thank them profusely as you escort them from the house? Give them a stern but loving parental lecture? Do nothing, then tell them you would never trust them with your friends because they aren't trustworthy?

Make them a really nasty dessert so they make an excuse to leave.

[Sharky]

I don't mind if the Elder's "hang out" at my place. I do expect them to help clear the table & load the dishwasher etc just like anyone else that eats at our table.

If the plan is they are coming for dinner, we always invite someone else over. Sometimes a neighbor, sometimes friends, sometimes the HT & his family.

If they are coming during the day we make sure they know they will not be sitting in the house, they will be following us around the farm, so dress appropriately & bring some work gloves!

They still come & "hang out", but they have learned to work & have had some strange experiences that they will never have again. They have also had the time to become good friends some of the less-active members of the ward & some non-members that are frequently here helping us out & have had the chance to get into some Gospel Discussions with many of those individuals.

So we never show them the door, but we do expect them to pitch in & help out & we make sure that we are not the only one's being edified by their visits & the spiritual thought/lesson they always give.

I guess too, by inviting others over for dinner, when that family decides it's time to leave the Elder's generally take that as a hint.

[ClickyClack]

On my mission, we ate lunch with a family one day, and stuck around to visit with them. Mission rules allowed 45 minutes for eating, and right at that time, the father of the family said "Elders, I'm not chasing you out, and I'm not telling you to leave, but your allotted 45 minutes are up."

Even I was able to get that hint.

[rameumptom]

Ask them what they have planned for that night. If they have nothing, then ask them if they'll go and visit your home teaching families with you. This is especially good if they are less active. Invite the families to take the missionary discussions from the elders again, and that you will be glad to attend or have the discussions in your own home.