doraenava Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Hello everyone, thank you to one and all who have shared any information on these forums to help those of us in need. After reading many articles I have come to the conclusion that no matter what the excuse is for having an emotional tie and friendship with the opposite sex is dangerous. My husband has done it, and was in mexico for 2 weeks where he came into contact with this so called cousin whom he has argued with me and defended that right of his to speak to whom ever he please and to let him have free agency and if he so choosed to make the wrong choice let him be free to do so. According to him his heart was empty and he needed excitement and wanted to feel alive, well we have come to the point in the past two weeks to work on our hearts and fill them with love, I have been experiencing the most beautiful relationship with him ever my heart is happy and he is talking to me and loving me and caring for me like never before, all the things i craved he is giving me and i am giving him plenty back, i am filling all his desires. the only thing that he is asking for still is the permission to contact this person whom he cherishes and puts on a pedastal. he swears he will not call her unless i give him permission. he wants me to be best friends with her, he says he is doing it cause she is all of a sudden interested in the gospel. I have come to the point that he needs to choose his way her or me. I will give him his space and not ever mention anymore to him as he states jealous outbursts over innocent encounters or situations. In my heart he is free but if he takes actions to start or tries to keep in touch with that woman i feel i must put a stop to it. He first said she had said she wanted to spend time alone with him lik on a date to talk about their past. Now he says it was him and that she is an angel and that she saved our marriage because she told him about how she just lost her husband he was kidnapped and never returned (mexico) and that she regrets never having given him a chance to be happy, he says she told him give me a chance at happiness. so what do you all think. is it right based on his grounds she is a saint she needs to be our friend. or do i refuse and tell him to suffer the consequences which will be to crush my heart and let all die? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 I would take him up on his offer of only calling her with permission and hope it won't make him bitter. She may have saved your marriage, but you don't have a relationship with her and he does. You're not in a good spot to pursue a friendship with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunkyTown Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 I just need to clarify. Are you absolutely, positively sure that your husband wanted to get physically involved with his cousin? 'Cause that's all sort of wrong. Even beyond the adultery thing. Advice on that particular thing is a fairly tricky thing to give because it's so bizarre to me. If I was accused of wanting to have an affair with a family member I kept in contact with, I couldn't be sure I wouldn't laugh, just assuming that you were kidding. I think this sounds like it requires more than people on the internet giving advice. Get marriage counselling from a professional because I can't imagine a better situation than this where it would be needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windseeker Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 · Hidden Hidden When I was a kid I used to have a crush on my second cousin Marie Osmond , that would have been ok right?, because we only share the same great grand parents? Link to comment
Guest Rossen1 Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 · Hidden Hidden Hello, I also suggest the same as funky please get marriage counseling from a good professional ................ Link to comment
mdfxdb Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 Agency comes with consequence. If your husband wants his agency you cannot deprive him of it, but you have to be willing to draw clear lines as to what in your mind is acceptable and unacceptable. For me I would not allow contact with this person. My significant other would be allowed to do what they want (agency) and then I would have to make a decision. That decision may be to leave the relationship. Your mileage may vary... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janadele Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 Send the missionaries to her, and tell your husband he needs to let her go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seapony Posted November 1, 2012 Report Share Posted November 1, 2012 The answer to his "emptiness" should never be filled by another woman. No contact is best for everyone involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All_Apologies Posted November 2, 2012 Report Share Posted November 2, 2012 Yeah it's his cousin, but... Before I committed adultery, I had an emotional affair. (But, not with a cousin.) It sounds like maybe this "cousin" is not someone your husband can handle having a regular familial or even purely platonic relationship with. It sounds like sharing the gospel may be an excuse/justification he is using to be close to her. Just be careful. I hope everything works out okay. Prayers sent up for you. <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hardtoguess Posted November 13, 2012 Report Share Posted November 13, 2012 (edited) Don't put up with this garbage. Cousins crushes are a step from underage stuff, this guy is pathetic. He doesn't deserve the ability to crush your heart. I can't imagine a priesthood holder having a cousin crush. Edited November 13, 2012 by hardtoguess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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