Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 Hey everyone I already know the answer to this question !! I just want to hear it from others I have a husband who is not supportive in anything that I do !! He s not lds and all he cares about is himself and his money !! His only concern is how to save his money!! He wants a baby and I want to go back to school to become an RN though I really do want a baby also and would love a big family !! But how am I going to support myself or the baby if I can't even support myself? The husband temper is bad too and he is immature I m planning on leaving him one day!! I know that I suppose to be done with school already by now but stuff just doesn't go my way !! I made lots of mistake! I have no one to blame but myself ! I was immature!! But right now I ve realize that the only way to get out of the situation that I'm in right now is to get my RN degree so that I can support myself !! And why would I want to have a baby with someone like him? I've already made a mistake by getting married to him !! I should of known better !! It's not that easy to pick up and leave either !! Thanks for reading !
pam Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 Basing my opinion strictly on what you have posted and if it were me..I'd go for the education so that you do have something to be able to fall back on and support yourself. With what you have said about knowing you would eventually be leaving is not the time to be bringing a baby into the mix. Only you can make the decision on what you feel is best for you.
Guest Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 You are enthusiastic! Well, female fertility drops drastically at age 35, so if you want children, you don't have any more time to put that off. School will always be there. But I missed the part about you leaving, so be fair to any possible children by not bringing them into a family you're planning to break.
skippy740 Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 Why would you want to have a baby with a man you plan on leaving one day? As you've eluded to, it wouldn't be fair to both you or the baby.
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 But why would I children with that kind of a husband? Ive been with him for soo long and thought that he would change as he gets older ! But right now I just realize no matter what he will never going to change. I really do want to have lots of children but just not with him.
Guest Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 Sounds like you've answered your own question.
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 I know but like i said I just want to hear from other people. I guess I'm just not meant to have a big family or something . It's just not that easy ..
pam Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 I wish you the best in whatever decision you make. It's hard making decisions like that.
Guest Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 I don't put a lot of stock in "meant to" beyond praying about what Heavenly Father wants me to do. But then you have to act on it.
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 I wasted lots of time with the wrong guy ! I wish i realize this 5 years ago but I was too dumb and blind !
pam Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 I wasted lots of time with the wrong guy ! I wish i realize this 5 years ago but I was too dumb and blind ! I don't think there is anyone that hasn't done something and thought they wish they knew years ago what they knew now. That's life though and we have to just learn and move on and do the best we can.
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 Thanks everyone :)eowyn act upon what? I can't just go out there and pick out a guy. I can't force that. The only thing that I can do right now is getting the education to secure my future.
pam Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 I think Eowyn is meaning that you need to pray to Heavenly Father and then act on the answer you receive from Him.
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 That's true Pam.. I ve learned soo much over the years .
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 I do pray a whole lot about everything. I know my answer even though I really want kids but not with this man.
pam Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 Well now is the time to act on it then I suppose.
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 Yea I am acting upon it :) thanks again everyone
applepansy Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 You're facing a hard decision. But I have to agree with most that if you're planning on leaving this man DO NOT have a baby with him. Its not fair to the baby.
Guest Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 Another option is also - to fix your relationship with your husband. Just throwing it out there... Say, you finish your RN, find another guy and have a baby... There is zero guarantee that new guy will end up better than your husband so you'd only be on the same boat. But... If you figure out how to make a marriage work, you can be like the people in India, marry a guy you've never met before even if the guy has tons of problems you can work through it and still end up with a good marriage.
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 I ve been with this man for 13 years and married to him for 4 years so trust me I have tried to work things out with him. I'm very patience ! I wanted kids a while ago but he told me he s not ready now that he s ready I realized that he s not the kind of man I would want him to be the head of my household cause all he cares about is money.
Qgirly Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Posted January 2, 2013 Trust me Anetess I think I learned my lesson with men .. So the next guy better be lds and have great personality. I'm not going to just settle . I would rather be alone then being unhappy !
Guest Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 I ve been with this man for 13 years and married to him for 4 years so trust me I have tried to work things out with him. I'm very patience ! I wanted kids a while ago but he told me he s not ready now that he s ready I realized that he s not the kind of man I would want him to be the head of my household cause all he cares about is money.There must have been a good reason you married the guy instead of walked out on him after 9 years of knowing him...
Bini Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 There must have been a good reason you married the guy instead of walked out on him after 9 years of knowing him...Life is not black and white like that. It just ain't that simple.I stuck around with my ex for far too many years. I thought I knew him when I married him. I didn't. After X amount of time had past, I decided to get out and start anew. Best decision I ever made! Now, happily remarried and with a beautiful daughter, I'm glad (more than glad) I walked.
Windseeker Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 It's said you either marry or give birth to your biggest trial in life and for some of us it's both. Sounds like you already have enough trials at the moment. I would first try going thru some counciling first. I would definately recommend going to school.
garryw Posted January 2, 2013 Report Posted January 2, 2013 It seems contradictory to me, that he wants a baby, but all he cares about is money. Babies are not exactly cheap. At least mine aren't. Is he planning to sell the baby for money? If not, it's hard to argue that all he cares about is money.
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