Dumb Question

[CommanderSouth]

I am trying to reactivate, but I don't want to. I would much rather leave the church and just go back to church with my parents, or my friends, or just somewhere else in general. I also know that I would be denoucncing something I have fought for so vocally and would look like a fool, and also denoucing some of my favorite scriptures (D&C, BoM have fare more favs for me than the bible). I feel like if I start going back so much stuff is going to required of me between all the activities, home teaching, FHE, and the like that I won't be able to have a personal life.

Am I just being stupid, and need to suck it up and stop being lazy, or is there actually any other advice that can be given to one in this situation?

It would be nice to have some other advice but in my mind I am thinking I am stupid for even asking it...

Oh well, if anyone feels the need to hit me over the head, go right "ahead"

</Lame Pun>

[Anddenex]

In life we all will experience opposition, the enticement between virtue and vice. I am reminded of the words of prophets and apostles who have spoken regarding being a member of the Church in comparison to having a "battle" everyday.

Here is a thought for you to ponder, should you decide to leave the Church. Remember you are still under oath and covenant to honor your priesthood, home teach, family home evening, and all other responsibilities which you entered into.

All inactive members, are still held accountable for the discharge of their duties. Thus, it seems like the "yellow brick road" for any member who has received the oath and covenant of the priesthood to "battle" everyday if they want to retain a remission of their sins.

What you are experiencing doesn't make you dumb, it represents the dual nature we face everyday, carnal vs. spiritual, truth vs. error, light vs. darkness, virtue vs. vice.

Come off conquerer dear brother.

[Windseeker]

One of the goals of the church is perfecting the saints.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints provides opportunities for all members to become involved in many different kinds of activities that develop them mentally, morally, physically, and spiritually in the perfection process.

~ Franklin D. Richards

It's overwhelming sometimes, all that is required of us. I'm reminded that "Where much is given, much is required"

The way I look at it, I'd rather be trying and falling short in the true church then attend a church that lacks the fullness where little is given and hardly anything required.

BTW, I think the Lord wants you to have a personal life and while there is allot of responsabilties and activities we need to balance our lives.

"No success can compensate for failure in the home" and I believe that includes things like 100% home teaching, or magnifiying our calling to the nth degree. It's up to us to balance our lives the Lord is not going to do it for us.

I do appreciate the opportunities we have to serve in the church, it's those opportunities that allow us to fulfill our commandment to "Love one another" like no where else outside the family.

[Vort]

We do things because we think they will make us happy. Bottom line.

Parents and older people tell you, "Hey, we love you, so we give you this wisdom: Do all these things that seem restrictive or boring or that cut into your partying. In return, you'll be happy. If you don't do these things, you will be unhappy." Then friends and others tell you, "What are you waiting for? Come join us! We're having a ball!"

So whom do you believe?

One thing you can do is just to party it up until you find out for yourself that it's empty and soul-shattering, and you're desperately seeking something real like a man in the desert dying of thirst searches for an oasis. Even muddy water would be a blessing.

Many others have taken that same road. Their testimony is, in general, that they rue their short-sightedness and deeply wish they had taken the advice of their loved ones, that straying from the true path has taken a terrible toll in their lives.

Ultimately, you should do what makes you happy. But as a child of God, you will find that what makes you happy is what builds both you and those you love. Satisfying your own carnal nature won't make you happy. Maybe in some short-term sense, but never in the long run.

[CommanderSouth]

We do things because we think they will make us happy. Bottom line.

Parents and older people tell you, "Hey, we love you, so we give you this wisdom: Do all these things that seem restrictive or boring or that cut into your partying. In return, you'll be happy. If you don't do these things, you will be unhappy." Then friends and others tell you, "What are you waiting for? Come join us! We're having a ball!"

So whom do you believe?

One thing you can do is just to party it up until you find out for yourself that it's empty and soul-shattering, and you're desperately seeking something real like a man in the desert dying of thirst searches for an oasis. Even muddy water would be a blessing.

Many others have taken that same road. Their testimony is, in general, that they rue their short-sightedness and deeply wish they had taken the advice of their loved ones, that straying from the true path has taken a terrible toll in their lives.

Ultimately, you should do what makes you happy. But as a child of God, you will find that what makes you happy is what builds both you and those you love. Satisfying your own carnal nature won't make you happy. Maybe in some short-term sense, but never in the long run.

And while I don't have any desire to "party it up" as it were, I don't want to be sitting in regret at a life squandered playing board games instead of going to church either, so even inactivity in that sense is robbing myself of potential joy for "joy".

I just think back to that PSP I bought, I loved it for a while and then it gathered dust before being sold. Now it seems that's my membership, except I can't completely rid myself of testimony (not that I should, nor do I think I really want to) and don't want the shame of leaving after going on and on about the church. I think I just have to hunker down and do it, but it isn't fun sometimes, at least not yet...

[ZionsRodeVos]

I get frustrated at times with some of the activities and their timing and such. I don't always feel happy or joy when serving, especially when some of the teachers are talking during class and disrupting it so no one can feel the spirit and when some of the youth don't obey when told to stop playing basket ball to come to mutual. I got frustrated with similar situations in class when I was teaching the same youth as a Sunday School teacher. I've often considered asking to be released or just quitting. So far I haven't done so.

Part of my frustration comes from the fact that I am a single dad with custody of my four children and happen to have a 1 and a half to two hour commute. And so never seem to be able to get everything that needs to be done, done and still have time to do things that I want to do such as playing computer games. I'm the type of person that feels that since I have a home I should actually be able to spend some of my waking hours in it and so don't always feel like going anywhere.

I think you would be wise to return to church and do your best to integrate the different things you mentioned at a pace that makes sense to you and doesn't feel like it overburdens you or takes away your personal life. Especially if you view things as Anddenex stated which would mean you are still under the requirement to do all the things you mentioned.

Well, right now you are doing none of them. So start doing one of them and see how that goes, then when you are comfortable with that start doing another and see how many you can integrate into your life, especially if some can become part of your personal life, and do as much as you are comfortable with. At least that way you will be heading in a more spiritual direction than you currently are.

[CommanderSouth]

Anddenex, I have always found the word choice "remission" interesting in relation to sin. It paints sin as a cancer, that we can drive into remission by the grace of God received by obedience to the gospel. I certainly don't want to wander out so far I am back in sin, but yeah I do need to stay on the log as it were...

[Backroads]

Am I just being stupid, and need to suck it up and stop being lazy, or is there actually any other advice that can be given to one in this situation?

Yes, you are being stupid and need to suck it up and stop being lazy.

But... if you feel so overwhelmed by all the Church bits, my advice is to simply work into it. Let's get you to church first, or FHE, or whatever your "gateway" needs to be. No sense in being Peter Priesthood for two weeks and crashing and burning.

[Roseslipper]

I dont think your stupid your feelings are your feelings. Some times it might feel easier to go to another church for many reasons but you know u dont really want to do that! its just a fight going on inside of you. Fight that fight brother and go and just take baby steps one step at a time. And if all u can do is go, then that's ok cause some times we have to push ourselves to go, some times that our first fight. Conquer that then take your next baby steps, then your next, and so on and so on @ your speed. Yes some times we might feel over burden, the best thing is to try to find that balance. A balanced life is the goal to acheive.Know that Heavenly Father loves you and He's their to help, so ask him. Deep down you know where you belong!

[selek]

Am I just being stupid, and need to suck it up and stop being lazy, or is there actually any other advice that can be given to one in this situation?

Short answer? Yes.

I feel like if I start going back so much stuff is going to required of me between all the activities, home teaching, FHE, and the like that I won't be able to have a personal life.

This is a stereotype, and like all stereotypes, it is largely myth centered around a few scraps of truth.

Yes- you will be taking on certain obligations and duties- but they are not the overwhelming burden critics and alarmists are wont to pretend.

The numbers below are off-the-top-of-my-head guesstimates, but they should be fairly close.

In the worst case- in which you get called to the Bishopric (which ain't likely)- you can double the numbers.

These numbers assume a thirty-one day month and some fairly rigorous study. Your numbers will vary (of course), and these are high-end.

• Personal study and prayer: 31 hours (assuming one hour per day).
• Family Home Evening: 12 hours (3 hours per week X 4 weeks)
• Home Teaching: 4 hours (3 familes, one hour per family, plus travel time).
• Sunday Morning Meeting Bloc: 12 hours (3 hours per week X 4 weeks)
• Preparation for Teaching a class: 8 hours (two hours per week X 4 weeks)
• Other meetings 2 hours per week (again, this assumes a calling such as Elder's Quorum Presidency).
• Total 69 hours per month

That sounds like an awful lot: until one considers that there are 744 hours in our 31 day month.

69/744= 0.092741935 or just over 9% of the time we're given. We are asked to return 10% of our increase as tithing.

Should that not also apply to our daily breaths- especially when we consider that we are not promised even a single breath more?

Those numbers also tend to stack up well when one also considers the following:

• Daily Commuting: 31 hours/month (assuming the American average of one hour per day).
• Television watching: 151 hrs/mo (per the Neilsen Ratings organization)
• Sleeping: (assuming seven hrs/night) 217 hrs/month
• Cooking 31 hrs/month (assuming an average of one hour per day, which is probably high for the fast food generation).
• Leisure and sports activities: 77.5 hrs/mo. (assuming the BLS average of 2.5 hours per day)

A lot of these assumptions can also be examined here: Charts from the American Time Use Survey

To be blunt, membership in the LDS Church is about service: service to ourselves, to others, and to our God.

And even then, not that much is asked of us. The numbers I gave you are all high- in some cases as much as twice as high as what most LDS of my acquaintance actually do.

Something to consider in your travels, no?

In any event, I wish you the best of luck on your journey.