OOPS!! I messed up.

[DLCarter]

Hello everyone.

I am recovering from opiate addiction, today is 37 days since I last used.

Before anyone asks, I feel awful.

I was raised LDS and cannot help but look back and notice the contrast between my views of LDS when I use compared to when I don't.

I have tried my own way using logic as I understand it and I must say it's been a miserable failure.

Every time I get past the first few weeks of withdrawal my first instinct is to re-seek the fellowship of the church.

This time is no different. Only this time I know if I go back to pills I will be dead soon.

So I surrender. Please help me find another way!

[pam]

You will get no condemnation from me. As a mother of a son who is a heroin user and currently serving jail time for things done because of it, my heart goes out to you with this struggle.

[Guest]

Congratulations on 37 days! I think that pill usage especially is epidemic. My hairdresser was telling me once how many of her clients rely on pills. I've talked with my friends about how easy it would be to get and stay addicted. It must be really rough. What kind of help are you getting?

[prisonchaplain]

Faith-based residential drug/alcohol treatment programs are tremendously successful. Typically, commiting yourself to one of these means an investment of 6-months to a year. The ones I am familiar with involve scripture studies, religious book studies (including some directly related to overcoming addictions), group sessions, prayer, worship, teaching, and work. Often "students" go out on work crews to do jobs that help support the center.

These programs also teach life skills, including submission to authority. Sometimes the counselors and staff can be quite directive. Learning to cooperate, even when you do not totally agree with the rules, is part of the process of recovery.

I'm not familiar with LDS programs, but I believe they exist. Like Pam, I had a family member go threw a serious addiction. He graduated from Teen Challenge (not just for teens, btw), and has been clean for over 11 years. In the process he got reconnected to the church of his youth, and is very committed now.

God's richest blessings on your recovery!

[DLCarter]

Thank you Pam. I am sorry for you and your son. He is lucky to have such an understanding mother. An addicts situation comes down to the sum of their choices. That doesn't mean we understand the math.

Eowyn, I have done this largely on my own with only the support of my immediate family. It has been enough to this point, but as head of the household, I have learned that whether I like it or not they follow my example. And I don't know how to proceed alone. I called the church on sunday and found out they just started an LDS 12 step program, and got the guys number. I have reservations about calling, my wife is staunch not-LDS and my kids have never been to church. Her family made a huge deal about my upbringing until they found out I am not active and saw that Mormons are relatively normal humans, we don't even have nubs from where our horns were sawed off. I am just afraid of how this will play out. But I can see no other choice. What happens happens.

Prison Chaplain, funny you mention submission to authority. I am recognizing this may be the root of my problem. I have issues with authority. I don't like being told what to do, it feels like my free will is being violated somehow. It can be healthy in some cases, but at this point I'm willing to listen to someone else for a change.

I guess at 42, I must be maturing into an adult.

[DLCarter]

ok just called the 12 step director.

just so happens the meeting is tonite.

[Smudge]

I know it sounds like something any church member would say but trust Heavenly Father to strengthen you. I say this because I had a friend who had addiction problems but came back to church and has been clean now for more than 10 years. He attributes this to Heavenly Father. He is one of the most amazing guys I have ever been blessed to be able to call a friend.

[RipplecutBuddha]

Along with the addiction recovery programs available to you, might I gently suggest regular prayer, and especially emergency prayer.

God knows exactly what you're going through, and exactly what will be needed to get through it. Turn to him. Lean upon him. He's been there all this time waiting for you to ask for help, and he'll never abandon you. In the moments of the worst withdrawals, call upon him for strength and support. You'll get it, exactly as you need it.

This process will demand every bit of your best effort as well. God won't help those who don't do their part.

On my mission, a leader said it this way, 'Pray as though it all rests in God's hands, then stand up and act like it all rests in yours.' I've tried this and I can tell you it works. As a recovering addict myself, I promise you it works.

God be with you always. :)

[DLCarter]

Well I went.

And I will go back next week.

I feel better.

Thanks everyone.