being a member, single + and working

[awillowfairey]

Please tell me that there are people in the church who can relate to this? Please???

As a single, 35 years old, woman in the church. I can honestly say I know that I have tried to find someone and am beginning to stop looking. I have only dated one guy in my whole life and we only had two dates. After I turned 30, i went to the regular family ward where I live. I have been inactive for about the last 4 years. I started going back to church because of my workplace. I was able to get my days off for Sundays and Mondays, so I have been kinda excited to go back to church.

After turning 35 this past march, I realized some things. One, I am not ready to get married. i live with my sister, her hubby and 2 nieces. My "bedroom" is the living room and my futon bed. I can't drive because my eyesight is bad enough where I can't get a license. Unless I get corrective surgery.

Two, I feel like I am "invisible". Seriously. men don't look at me unless I am at work and they need something. i am a bit on the round side but I am told I am "pretty". But I swear to Everything that is holy if some guy tells me that I have a "gentle soul" or that I am "good person" I am going to deck them. That is some guy code for "lets just be good friends". Yeck.

3, I have never really been a in a serious or any sort of relationship with a man. I don't know how to act around them, I am shy around people that I don't know but I warm up to most pretty soon after meeting them.

4, marriage. The church puts so much pressure on people to get married that it feels like I am being suffocated. a) i don't like being pressured and b) i will do it when I feel like it.

I will get married when God himself tells me to do so.

I would like the opportunity to find someone who actually looks at me and not past me. Someone that would be happy for being with me because of who I am rather than what I look like. Most guys, that I know, can't see past that. :unsure:

[Praetorian_Brow]

If it makes you feel better, I am 30, unbelievably handsome, ex-army, have a job that pays 50k a year and live in a two bedroom apartment, and feel as if my life is empty.

Too bad I never went on a mission, haven't gone to post secondary school, am inactive and therefore on the bottom of the Mormon woman list, but that is only after we get past the flirting and her claws really start to sink in.

If I want a date, I could start by asking someone or, I could be proactive about life and make myself more desirable, but I prefer my video games and wishful thinking. Nope, you are not alone.

[Guest]

I swear to Everything that is holy if some guy tells me that I have a "gentle soul" or that I am "good person" I am going to deck them.

Of course there are women in similar situations in the Church. Not as common, but they are around. There is pressure to have families and such, because they are such a huge part of the Gospel. But so is personal revelation, and you are in a family. You're the only one who knows what the Lord communicates to you and it's only your business.

You could join the local midsingles group. Two of my friends who were single in their 30's (but divorced with kids) have found companions that way, but at very least you could find friends in like circumstances.

[pam]

If it makes you feel better, I am 30, unbelievably handsome, ex-army, have a job that pays 50k a year and live in a two bedroom apartment, and feel as if my life is empty.

Too bad I never went on a mission, haven't gone to post secondary school, am inactive and therefore on the bottom of the Mormon woman list, but that is only after we get past the flirting and her claws really start to sink in.

If I want a date, I could start by asking someone or, I could be proactive about life and make myself more desirable, but I prefer my video games and wishful thinking. Nope, you are not alone.

I see you have a great deal of humility too.

[Praetorian_Brow]

Its far easier to see what you want to see, than read past the words and understand that its actually a lot of sarcasm mixed with a great deal of emotional pain. Sorry, if I don't buy into the self pity of others, when I experience enough of that myself.

[Guest]

If it makes you feel better, I am 30, unbelievably handsome, ex-army, have a job that pays 50k a year and live in a two bedroom apartment, and feel as if my life is empty.

Too bad I never went on a mission, haven't gone to post secondary school, am inactive and therefore on the bottom of the Mormon woman list, but that is only after we get past the flirting and her claws really start to sink in.

If I want a date, I could start by asking someone or, I could be proactive about life and make myself more desirable, but I prefer my video games and wishful thinking. Nope, you are not alone.

I have lots of single cousins... Catholics, but hey, they're awesome too!

... and they need visas.

[Guest]

Our Gospel Doctrine teacher is in her early 50's, never been married, no children but the mother of so many. She's an amazing woman and is quite happy with her lot in life.

[FunkyTown]

If it makes you feel better, I am 30, unbelievably handsome, ex-army, have a job that pays 50k a year and live in a two bedroom apartment, and feel as if my life is empty.

Too bad I never went on a mission, haven't gone to post secondary school, am inactive and therefore on the bottom of the Mormon woman list, but that is only after we get past the flirting and her claws really start to sink in.

If I want a date, I could start by asking someone or, I could be proactive about life and make myself more desirable, but I prefer my video games and wishful thinking. Nope, you are not alone.

It's tough being as man-pretty as we are, Praetorian. I empathize with your pain.

[Anddenex]

Please become well acquainted with Sheri L. Dew. Remarkable woman, and I am pretty sure the term "good friends" also.

[Vort]

If it makes you feel better, I am 30, unbelievably handsome

I don't believe it.

Wow. Maybe it's true.

[awillowfairey]

it's good to know that i'm not the only one.