I Want To Be Lds

[4myfamily]

I am married with two children. Religion has not been a part of my marriage, however we both agree that it is good for our kids. That is a deep as my husband will go with his interest in religion. I was raised in the RLDS church until I was 7 years old, when my parents took issue with our branch and left the church. My Dad has completely rejected all except the possible existance of God. My Mom yearns for the church she once loved. I am now 41 and have been praying about religion in my life and I feel I've been led back somewhat to my early religious education. I have read and researched all that has become of the RLDS church and I don't believe it is on God's track anymore. In the last year, my reading has turned to the LDS faith and I think I am ready to accept the LDS beliefs as the true church. I simply believe. I need to know where to start. I have not discussed my desire with my husband because I am sure he will go along with me and the kids belonging to any religion besides LDS. So I am stuck being a closet wanna be LDS. I have no desire to force the belief on my husband, but I very much want my kids to know the love of what God has in store for them. My problem is basic. Do I sneak out and talk to someone at the church? Is there someone who can talk to me online or by phone during the day? I hide my Ensign magazine under my bed because I am afraid my husband will think I am a loon. I have read about the failure of mixed LDS marriages and the outlook is not too good. I am torn between delving in to a religion that I love and the possibility of losing my marriage. Help if you can.

[Guest mamacat]

hi 4myfamily ~

do you pray? i promise that's the most powerful way to receive a direct answer to your questions...perhaps you prayed and your actions led you here. if so, that's great!

if you feel the LDS doctrine beating in your heart, you can't be wrong -- i know. the spirit is calling you and impatiently awaiting an answer from you. and it will persist.

first, i wouldn't view it as 'sneaking out'. this still is a private matter in your heart. if you feel this so strongly, then i would suggest having a chat with an LDS missionary or member, perhaps a bishop. someone who can advise you about your specific concerns regarding your husband and family. after all, that's one of the biggest tenets in LDS, the sanctity of the marriage relationship and the importance of your family. they will not see it as 'sneaking out', i would think, they would counsel you on how to help your husband and family understand your desires.

if you go to the LDS website, there is a location guide that will direct you to a local LDS branch, and a missionary referral number that will connect you with missionaries who can visit you in your home, and that way you wouldn't be 'sneaking out' at all. :)

much love from mamacat

[Maureen]

Welcome 4myfamily,

We have some (RLDS) Community of Christ posters here that you should talk with, maybe PM. I have a feeling that Blessed may feel like you regarding her church but Dale seems quite happy with the church. Don't be shy to PM, it will probably get their attention faster than waiting to see if they reply to your thread. Good luck!

M.

[susieSA]

I have read about the failure of mixed LDS marriages and the outlook is not too good.

First of all, Welcome to LDS Talk... I know that you will love it here

While I myself am not in a mixed LDS marriage I have seen many that have been very sucessful. And in some of these cases the spouse has joined after a few years.

I agree very much with what mamacat says :)

[LT04]

4 my family,

If I was in your shoes here is what I would do. I don't know what your take on fasting is but that’s where I would start. I'll explain how from the beginning forgive if you have a working knowledge as to how this works but for the benefit of those who don't know I'll explain.

I always start my fasts early in the morning. (I chose morning’s b/c nothing has happened yet so my mind is clear to focus on my topic, and I have all day to find an answer) I open with a prayer and ask G-d for what I need (In this case I would ask for understanding, compassion and softened harts between me and my spouse to be able to discuss your concerns) During a fast you don't eat (some exceptions apply for medical and other conditions) I try not to let more than an hour go by with out praying again. Then when I have completed my fast I close my fast with a prayer and thank G-d for all he has given me. (The length of your fast is determined by you. Sometimes only a few hours are ample. A few times and I do mean very few times I have gone more than a day.)

In my case when my wife and I got a min. alone I would sit her down and say we need to talk for just a few min.'s. I would express my concerns making sure she knew she what would and wouldn't be required of her. (I'm assuming that you wouldn't make your husband go you would leave it up to him, right?)

From the out side looking in the first thing I would advise you to do is level with your husband. Becoming a closet lay member isn't going to endear him to any church if he's left out of the loop all together. My wife (who isn't LDS by the way) doesn't always like the amount of time I spend at church in various leadership roles and I know she doesn't like late night phone calls but she tolerates them b/c she knows what’s going on and is included in my church related decisions from accepting various calling to going to the temple to helping a member move in/out on a Saturday.

You don't want to go about pursuing any church keeping all your actions a secret from the only one you should be able to tell every thing to. To put it more black and white terms you would be doing G-d's work with the Satan’s tools.

When I was called to be in the Elder's Quorum presidency my bishop asked my wife and I both to come for my calling so he could talk to both of us. He explained what was required of the job and asked her if it would create contention in our household and if so I wouldn't be offered the calling. The church is about keeping harmony in the home. Keeping secrets isn't going to accomplish that.

I hope I wasn't to blunt, I know this situation is delicate for you. I do know what it's like being honest and sneaking around to be apart of church. When I would sneak my wife would loose a lot of trust and that would hurt our marriage. When I am honest she'll let me do almost any thing I want. I just hope you can learn from my mistake and save all that heart ache for some one else. I hope this helps. Keep us posted we are here to help,

-LT04

[Dale]

Welcome 4myfamily,

We have some (RLDS) Community of Christ posters here that you should talk with, maybe PM. I have a feeling that Blessed may feel like you regarding her church but Dale seems quite happy with the church. Don't be shy to PM, it will probably get their attention faster than waiting to see if they reply to your thread. Good luck!

M.

I am always looking for new posts. I am happy with my church, but don't agree with everything in my church myself. I don't think leaving the church is the positive way to handle concerns about church direction. I try and be a positive influence on the Community of Christ message board. But my concerns about church direction mostly arn't the same as that of the Restoration RLDS. So I can live with most, but not all changes Restoration RLDS who split from us are bothered with in the church.

[4myfamily]

Many thanks from my heart for the advice here. You have given me wonderful suggestions to consider. It makes me very sad that I can not share with my husband the great things that the LDS church has that can enrich our family. He will have a hard time just getting over those basic FAQ's that most people have that know nothing about the church other than what they have heard in soundbites and comedians. Even though he does not smoke or drink, he lashes out at a church that is known for not smoking or drinking. He has told me with regard to my family's RLDS beliefs that he can not accept a church that thinks they are the chosen church. It all makes me sad. I am going to set a fast with a couple of LDS friends and ask for guidance and strength to talk with the missionaries. Thank you, I will definitley be sharing and learning with this board.

[Dale]

Be stable in the LDS church when you are baptized.

If you have concerns about LDS beliefs try & resolve them through FAIR, and FAIR Wiki. http://www.fairlds.org

I see room for doubt and questions in any religion. Perhaps your faith in the Book of Mormon might be strong, but maybe you will run into other LDS things you don't like as much. I find with the things I dislike I have to put up with things out of love for my Lord not because of my personal preferences.

-----------------

One of the book's discussing LDS, and RLDS differences has been Fundemental Differences by Russel F. Ralston. I decided his case against LDS views on the polygamy of David & Solomon is very weak as he constructed it. (pages 110-112) Deut 17:17 doesn't prevent a king from having multiple wives. The things a king was not to greatly multiple also included horses, and riches. It does not prevent a king from having many such things. David did not allow his wives unlike his son Solomon to turn his heart away. (1 Kings 15:5; 1 Kings 11:1-6) It wasn't until the matter with Uriah that the Lord held his behavior against him.

LDS might re-word Jacob 2:24 in light of Deut.17:17. "Behold, David and Solomon truly had (multiplied beyond what was advised) many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me." Unless I misread Deut. 17:17 it allowed for kings to have wives and concubines. In the case of David, and Solomon that activity could not be counted against them as husbands until they turned away from following the Lord. (Jacob 2:31; 1 Kings 15:5; 1 Kings 11:1-6) David still sinned though, but it was not counted as sin's against God.

I think a case can be made for either God tolerating, or perhaps condoning polygamy in the Old Testament. I might prefer God tolerating it, but not condoning, but I find Jacob 2 to be more open to LDS type readings than what I recently thought. I see it as condemning a type of polygamy, not all polygamists. David and Solomon alone among Old Testament patriarchs are singled out. Abraham had three concubines, and it's unlikely he was condemned as being an wicked husband. (1 Chronicles 1:32,33) I doubt Abraham will suffer David's fate, but he would have to if he was a wicked husband according to Jacob 2.

[Blessed]

4myfamily,

First of all welcome! Glad to see you here! I can understand your concern about the direction of the RLDS although I do not know what specifics you are referring to, but I can in someway understand as well. I do not like the fact that the church has allowed priesthood in anymore that no longer believe in basic Christian dogma like the Virgin birth, resurrection of Jesus Christ and many more. It makes my heart sick. So with that I am not pleased.

However, I am pleased that we are still pursuing peace and to usher in Zion. I want to be in the very forefront of that cause and am glad that through revelation by Joseph Smith our church is doing what it was called to do.

If you would like to PM or chat just let me know. I won't dissuade you from leaving, but I will be here to talk to if you need someone. God bless you in what ever you decide to do.

[Guest mamacat]

dear 4myfamily ~

how are you? i'd love to hear how things are going for you, and how your LDS venture is progressing....

much love, mamacat

[4myfamily]

Thank you for asking. I am still praying. I watched the show on PBS last night. It brought more questions I need to study about. The great thing was that DH came in and watched part of the show with me. He was not disgusted or outraged. He asked some basic questions. I am glad we could share some facts with him gently. I believe the Heavenly Father is working with us. I will keep you posted. Thank you for asking about me.

[Guest mamacat]

that's awesome 4myfamily...:)

it's so great to see Heavenly Father making his presence known in our lives, when we desire this in heartfelt ways.

i'm so pleased for you...and glad that you have such blessings in your life.

thank you for returning and responding. may you continue on the gentle path of spirit...

love and light, mamacat

[vinny15]

If you go to mormon.org than you can chat with a missionary online. It's very easy. Good luck.

[4myfamily]

Updating for anyone wondering.

After prayer and study, I have decided to return and I am attending the Community of Christ church. For now it feels right. I want to be part of Christ's church so badly that I want to be baptised, however, since I was baptised in the Methodist church, I am afraid of mistaking my feelings again. How will I know when it is really really the right church? I don't want to be a faith hopper. So at 42 years old, I am going to church and my kids are going with me. My husband does not have an interest in organized faith right now, but he is welcome with us when he chooses. For now I have peace.

[robbiewinters]

I am married with two children. Religion has not been a part of my marriage, however we both agree that it is good for our kids. That is a deep as my husband will go with his interest in religion. I was raised in the RLDS church until I was 7 years old, when my parents took issue with our branch and left the church. My Dad has completely rejected all except the possible existance of God. My Mom yearns for the church she once loved. I am now 41 and have been praying about religion in my life and I feel I've been led back somewhat to my early religious education. I have read and researched all that has become of the RLDS church and I don't believe it is on God's track anymore. In the last year, my reading has turned to the LDS faith and I think I am ready to accept the LDS beliefs as the true church. I simply believe. I need to know where to start. I have not discussed my desire with my husband because I am sure he will go along with me and the kids belonging to any religion besides LDS. So I am stuck being a closet wanna be LDS. I have no desire to force the belief on my husband, but I very much want my kids to know the love of what God has in store for them. My problem is basic. Do I sneak out and talk to someone at the church? Is there someone who can talk to me online or by phone during the day? I hide my Ensign magazine under my bed because I am afraid my husband will think I am a loon. I have read about the failure of mixed LDS marriages and the outlook is not too good. I am torn between delving in to a religion that I love and the possibility of losing my marriage. Help if you can.

The lord will bless you if you make the correct decision

[Gabelma]

I am married with two children. Religion has not been a part of my marriage, however we both agree that it is good for our kids. That is a deep as my husband will go with his interest in religion. I was raised in the RLDS church until I was 7 years old, when my parents took issue with our branch and left the church. My Dad has completely rejected all except the possible existance of God. My Mom yearns for the church she once loved. I am now 41 and have been praying about religion in my life and I feel I've been led back somewhat to my early religious education. I have read and researched all that has become of the RLDS church and I don't believe it is on God's track anymore. In the last year, my reading has turned to the LDS faith and I think I am ready to accept the LDS beliefs as the true church. I simply believe. I need to know where to start. I have not discussed my desire with my husband because I am sure he will go along with me and the kids belonging to any religion besides LDS. So I am stuck being a closet wanna be LDS. I have no desire to force the belief on my husband, but I very much want my kids to know the love of what God has in store for them. My problem is basic. Do I sneak out and talk to someone at the church? Is there someone who can talk to me online or by phone during the day? I hide my Ensign magazine under my bed because I am afraid my husband will think I am a loon. I have read about the failure of mixed LDS marriages and the outlook is not too good. I am torn between delving in to a religion that I love and the possibility of losing my marriage. Help if you can.

I don't know if its just our mission and it might even be different now we have a new mission president but our missionaries were counselled not to teach a spouse if the other spouse was unhappy with the situation. The counsel was the most important thing was that the family was kept together.

Charley