At what age did you get married?

[dahlia]

Married at 23, husband was 27. He felt really old, coming from a working class background where people got married after high school and his friends all had kids. He wanted a baby right away. I obliged. And being half Greek, he was thrilled with having a boy first time out, so my work on this planet was done. : )

Son may be dating 'the one' now. She is 28, he is 36. I don't mind him waiting, but it would be nice to have grand kids before I'm in the nursing home.

[Guest Doctrine]

I was 26 the wife 25, glad I waited I still feel like a kid, and proved it when we went to the fair and I bought a metal detector, my reason to have an excuse to go for long walks on the beach.

:)

[lavenderclean]

Hi,

Age does not matter.... but to find a perfect match is the main question here...!!!

:) Marriage is a decision which is said to be decided in Heaven...

So wait for the perfect time, you will definitely get your soul mate...!!

[Bacdoc]

I was 34 and my wife was 31.

I was right where you are right now. Wondering what's going on, and why it hasn't happened yet. I was starting to get a reputation as snobbish, too picky, looking for perfection, etc.

Let me say right now, keep going to church, keep praying for that blessing, and it will happen. My wife just appeared in our ward one day from Australia. The circumstances that brought her to my town were crazy. She had other options that were more attractive, but for some reason the spirit was whispering to her to come here. Prayers are answered and yours will be too.

Getting married at a later stage in life is a blessing for some of us. I know for a fact that if I had gotten married in my early to mid twenties, it would have been to someone vastly different from my wife. I was still figuring myself out. By my 30's I had a good idea who I was, and was fortunate to find someone who complements me beautifully.

Heavenly Father knows you, and knows what you need, and what you want. Hang in there, it will all be worth it.

[Dravin]

I need to try a better singles ward. haha

I don't know what the LDS presence is like in Boston, but don't get so focused on the Single's Ward that you don't keep an eye out for people outside of it.

Marriage is a decision which is said to be decided in Heaven...

It's unclear what you are trying to communicate here. Are you saying that the decision to get married is one that is decided by revelation? Or are you talking about some version of soul mates, predestined, or foreordained marriage? And by whom is this being said?

If the former I'd say it is one that is confirmed by revelation, and if the latter... I disagree with soul mates, as envisioned by popular culture, predestined marriages, and am only inclined to see foreordained marriage to be something of rare circumstances (and that's an allowance rather than a positive belief). Sitting around waiting for that perfect one for which no trails and only unadulterated bliss will be experienced with that has been predetermined to be that perfect someone for you since before mortality isn't just a false belief in my mind, it is actively harmful.

Edited September 24, 2013 by Dravin

[Wordnerd]

This was an enlightening thread, I actually had an assumption that all people raised in the Church tended to marry young. I think we are among the youngest and we weren't even members at the time. I was 21 and my husband was 24, we were the first by years of many of our friends and to cap it off had our first child right away which really made our lives different from everyone else around us. But my husbands cousin married at 17 to a 16 year old, not because they "had" to but because they were convinced they were right for each other and they are still happily married 20 years later now. Its about the person and not the time of life :)

[Tricia87]

21. Husband was 33

[Nella]

I was 20 when I got married. And I'm still 20. I know I'm very young but I felt prepared for my marriage.

[Backroads]

Confession, I messed up on my earlier post.

I was actually 26 when I married, not 27. Clearly anyone who marries at 27 is over-the-hill.

[Nella]

My husband's sister got married when she was 27 and her whole family was "sorry that nobody wanted to married her". She was totally fine and just said that it was worthy to wait for her husband 27 years. Seriously, I don't think it's weird to wait.

[Saldrin]

I'm 28 and still single, and depressed because I haven't found anyone yet.

35 and still working on it.. lady i am after is 53 and has never been married :)

Edited September 27, 2013 by Saldrin

[Lakumi]

I'm 28 and still single, and depressed because I haven't found anyone yet.

I haven't made many good decisions in my life, but staying single I think is one of the good ones.

People often like the idea, or the social status, rather then actually understand what being around someone all the time is like... its not fun

point is, people can smell desperation and that drives them away (though they don't seem to smell antisocialness because they never leave me alone)

[drham3rd]

First marriage, me 22, wife 21. Second marriage (4 months tomorrow), me 56, wife 66.

[TalkativeIntrovert]

We were both 31.

Waiting doesn't necessarily mean you find the right one

[ChronoTrigger]

I was just worried about how many children you can have at later ages.

[TalkativeIntrovert]

I was just worried about how many children you can have at later ages.

It is definitely limiting. We only ever wanted 2 or 3 children, so married at 31 was still an ok age for that.

The problems come when fertility is an issue. That said, there is a lot of help available these days. We recently holidayed with a couple who had their first child in their early 40's (due to earlier fertility issues)

[beefche]

Fertility treatments are expensive. And the more you need to do, the more expensive it gets. When I did our research, to have one IVF (in vitro fertilization) was over $16,000--that's for ONE try without any guarantee.

Just something to think about as people get older before marrying.

[SoaringEagle]

I married at 23 and was divorced by 29. I also didn't have the gospel in my life at that time or an actual marriage for that matter. I occasionally went to a Presbyterian church, you know, for Christmas and Easter.

It doesn't matter when you get married, just that you find someone you are compatible with and be willing to put aside selfish desires to serve each other. I do find that since I am over 30 with no children (which I want to have) that I think about time a little more. I leave it in Heavenly Father's hands.

[behindTheCurtain]

I myself was 25 and my wife was 19. I can't tell you how many times I made fun of guys marrying girls right out of high school. I would always tease them about how they apparently couldn't find a girl their age, etc...

Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me. I actually had just came out of a tough relationship when she walked (more like burst) into my life. Call it cradle-robbing, call it whatever you want. One thing that is hard to shake is the social stigma attached onto YSA and "marrying" age. I believe that as long as one is actively working on both being a good spouse as well as finding one, then there shouldn't be any worries.

Now please start teasing away, I know I deserve it with as much I dished out over the years.

[SoaringEagle]

I myself was 25 and my wife was 19. I can't tell you how many times I made fun of guys marrying girls right out of high school. I would always tease them about how they apparently couldn't find a girl their age, etc...

Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me. I actually had just came out of a tough relationship when she walked (more like burst) into my life. Call it cradle-robbing, call it whatever you want. One thing that is hard to shake is the social stigma attached onto YSA and "marrying" age. I believe that as long as one is actively working on both being a good spouse as well as finding one, then there shouldn't be any worries.

Now please start teasing away, I know I deserve it with as much I dished out over the years.

6 Years isn't too bad. My ex-husband was 8 years older. And that still doesn't compare to my grandfather marrying his last wife who was 30 years younger.

[garryw]

Married at 23 and again at 35. Wife's ages were 19 and 35

[Lakumi]

I married at 23 and was divorced by 29. I also didn't have the gospel in my life at that time or an actual marriage for that matter. I occasionally went to a Presbyterian church, you know, for Christmas and Easter.

It doesn't matter when you get married, just that you find someone you are compatible with and be willing to put aside selfish desires to serve each other. I do find that since I am over 30 with no children (which I want to have) that I think about time a little more. I leave it in Heavenly Father's hands.

what about finding contentment and joy in your solitude?

[SoaringEagle]

After being in a negative, emotionally draining relationship, I did find a lot of contentment in solitude and told myself that I would rather be single than miserable. I can totally understand about wanting to withdraw from the world as I work in an emotionally draining job in a negative environment. I am a very recent convert and have no LDS in my family.

I believe you can be content and happy in solitude. And you can be very strong in the gospel and make improvements in yourself being single. My only suggestion would be not to count out ever marrying because there are those who don't marry until they are 50s or 60s.

[Lakumi]

After being in a negative, emotionally draining relationship, I did find a lot of contentment in solitude and told myself that I would rather be single than miserable. I can totally understand about wanting to withdraw from the world as I work in an emotionally draining job in a negative environment. I am a very recent convert and have no LDS in my family.

I believe you can be content and happy in solitude. And you can be very strong in the gospel and make improvements in yourself being single. My only suggestion would be not to count out ever marrying because there are those who don't marry until they are 50s or 60s.

But I don't plan to live that long:lol:

(I kid) no its not really about being in a bad relationship, I've never really had a proper one. I just have a very strong disliking of most people. I just have no real interest in it, at all. (children are out of the question- more so due to the hereditary illnesses I would pass down upon them).

I don't see any problem with wanting to be alone, but a lot do, like its an insane idea. I don't understand people. I can't form proper, fulfilling relationships and that won't go away. I'm at peace with that.

The church I go to being the first time in a long time I have been in a room and felt...fine, I wasn't mad and people were really nice, then I went a little nuts and thought it was a bad idea but... depression will do that to a person and I plan to go back.

[SoaringEagle]

But I don't plan to live that long:lol:

(I kid) no its not really about being in a bad relationship, I've never really had a proper one. I just have a very strong disliking of most people. I just have no real interest in it, at all. (children are out of the question- more so due to the hereditary illnesses I would pass down upon them).

I don't see any problem with wanting to be alone, but a lot do, like its an insane idea. I don't understand people. I can't form proper, fulfilling relationships and that won't go away. I'm at peace with that.

The church I go to being the first time in a long time I have been in a room and felt...fine, I wasn't mad and people were really nice, then I went a little nuts and thought it was a bad idea but... depression will do that to a person and I plan to go back.

Don't let anxiety or depression capture you and keep you away from church. Church was the one thing that helped bring me back from episodes of feeling hopeless. I also understand disliking people because I hate traffic and crowds. But I also work in a people-oriented job (career). I have some anxiety with the phones.

What I would work towards is trying to form one good friendship. Don't worry about relationships too much. I think it would take the right person regardless of your weaknesses but if you never marry, work on being happy with yourself and make a connection with one person who you can call a friend.