Online Friendships

[the_jason]

I bet Moptopfan has her locked up in the basement.

[Guest Username-Removed]

Strawberry Fields,

From your post you are wanting to know how much trust you give someone when you want to meet in person after meeting them on-line first?

Thats a good question. I believe trust is not an on or off switch, but more like levels from 0-20. Before I moved anybody below level 12, I would have to meet them first. There's something to be said about personal contact. Dont you think you get more insight from the spirit about deserning a soul in person, with direct contact, rather than on-line. I think we do pick up better from reading emotions and being in general circumstances in person, rather than on-line.

I have a hobby that takes me to other forums that are not church related: I have interests in ATVs: specifically motor building and the application of NOS. I have met many people that I first met online. But I have always first met them in large groups to begin with and in public. Of the hundreds that I have met online, then in person, there are only 1 or 2 that I regard as close friends.

My advice would be, if you think you are ready to meet them in person, use the spirit as a guide, and always, always, always meet them in public first. You never know who they truely are until you finally meet them in person

[Dr T]

With duct tape, rope, or chains?

[shanstress70]

My advice would be, if you think you are ready to meet them in person, use the spirit as a guide

I have to share my experience with this. There was someone on this board who totally believed everything this one poster wrote on the board. She used the spirit as a guide and was burned. I won't get into the specifics, but I don't think this is a good idea.

Sometimes you can get the answer you want bc you want it so badly.

I'm just sayin'...

[Guest Username-Removed]

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My advice would be, if you think you are ready to meet them in person, use the spirit as a guide

I have to share my experience with this. There was someone on this board who totally believed everything this one poster wrote on the board. She used the spirit as a guide and was burned. I won't get into the specifics, but I don't think this is a good idea.

Sometimes you can get the answer you want bc you want it so badly.

I'm just sayin'...

If you are just saying it, say the whole point and not just part... please. The spirit and the mind together are the best ways find an answer to anything. I did mention meet in public first and also keep in mind trust - by letting lifes circumstances reveal who they really are in a safe public place. Did I not???

In the end, we must be Christians and that means that we take some risks. Christ did, and we must eventually too. I suggest the extra following ideas with regarding to getting answers on any subject...

1) Study it. Read, about the subject in depth.

2) Ponder it. Do a lot of thinking to come up with a preliminary answer to take to Heavanly Father.

3) Pray about it - allowing the spirit to answer.

4) Act upon it.

[shanstress70]

I'm not sure I agree that being a Christian means you need to meet your online friends in person.

[Guest Username-Removed]

I'm not sure I agree that being a Christian means you need to meet your online friends in person.

shanstress70,

Please dont misquote what I am saying. Where did I say that you have to meet your online friends? What I am saying is that that people may need to if prompted to.

To me being Christian means acting on the words of Christ and not just saying that I believe them. I believe it can indeed mean also meeting someone on line, if that act is requested by the spirit. I dont live in a box, therefore I do take risks - Christ himself said that we should let our light shine, but how can we if no one sees it? Sometimes it means that I have been hurt (pearls among swine), even though I take as many many precautions as possible. If the spirit askes me, and I know its right, I will. Are you saying you would not if you were asked?

To further counter your point, I do know that Christ .... in fact .... lives!

I suppose there are some people that would say you cant get answers to prayers. If I believed that, I too would probably live in a box.

[shanstress70]

To further counter your point, I do know that Christ .... in fact .... lives!

What point did I make that you were countering with this?

All I'm saying is that being a Christian does not necessarily mean you have to meet online friends in person. I'm not saying you should not do so... just that if someone doesn't, it doesn't make them less of a Christian.

It's OK for us to disagree about this. :) However, I don't disagree with you that Christ lives.

[Guest Username-Removed]

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To further counter your point, I do know that Christ .... in fact .... lives!

What point did I make that you were countering with this?

All I'm saying is that being a Christian does not necessarily mean you have to meet online friends in person. I'm not saying you should not do so... just that if someone doesn't, it doesn't make them less of a Christian.

It's OK for us to disagree about this. :) However, I don't disagree with you that Christ lives.

Really all you have to do is answer the questions ...

"Are you saying you would not if you were asked?"

That will tell me all I need to know.

[shanstress70]

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To further counter your point, I do know that Christ .... in fact .... lives!

What point did I make that you were countering with this?

All I'm saying is that being a Christian does not necessarily mean you have to meet online friends in person. I'm not saying you should not do so... just that if someone doesn't, it doesn't make them less of a Christian.

It's OK for us to disagree about this. :) However, I don't disagree with you that Christ lives.

Really all you have to do is answer the questions ...

"Are you saying you would not if you were asked?"

That will tell me all I need to know.

Would you mind making your question more specific, please?

[Guest Username-Removed]

Thank you, you have already answered it.

Have a great day!

[shanstress70]

If I was asked by some guy that I met online to meet him, no I would not... unless it was one of the guys here that I feel I've gotten to know pretty well. And then only with both our spouses there too.

Hope you have a good day as well!

[john doe]

I was once approached by a member here on this board about possibly meeting her and talking to her son about my profession. I gave out enough details about where I could be found sometimes so they could anonymously 'check me out' without my knowing who they were. They could then decide if they wanted to meet me personally or not. I don't know if they came by or not, but I never heard from her about it again. Maybe I failed the 'scary' test. Sometimes I can be intimidating and unapproachable from afar to people who don't know me.

[StrawberryFields]

I was once approached by a member here on this board about possibly meeting her and talking to her son about my profession. I gave out enough details about where I could be found sometimes so they could anonymously 'check me out' without my knowing who they were. They could then decide if they wanted to meet me personally or not. I don't know if they came by or not, but I never heard from her about it again. Maybe I failed the 'scary' test. Sometimes I can be intimidating and unapproachable from afar to people who don't know me.

JD Darling,

So sorry about that... I still would like to meet you about your profession. This are still progressing along the lines we discussed but not quite there yet. Life got complicated as I moved to George and I never made it by. I am sure you are not scary. Please keep the option open to us. I am back in Salt Lake Valley so it is more likely to happen. :)

[john doe]

Oh, ok. I hope you don't think I was upset about it, I just never heard back.

[sgallan]

Well I've met all kinds of people who I first came into contact with on-line - mostly in amateur wrestling venues. This even includes one dating situation.... it didn't work out but we are still friends. As a result in our many journeys to wrestling tournaments and camps I rarely have to get a hotel room which is REALLY nice since I can't really afford one anyhow.

[begood2]

Oh, ok. I hope you don't think I was upset about it, I just never heard back.

Lol......just tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree!

PS: This was a joke! It was suppose to be funny.

[shanstress70]

Thank you, you have already answered it.

Have a great day!

Gosh, no I didn't. Please don't pretend to know my beliefs. They cannot be deduced by the five or so posts you've read from me since you've been here.

[pushka]

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Thank you, you have already answered it.

Have a great day!

Gosh, no I didn't. Please don't pretend to know my beliefs. They cannot be deduced by the five or so posts you've read from me since you've been here.

Shanstress, it seems to me that he thinks that hearing the prompting of the Spirit, telling you that you ought to meet the person you're chatting with online, means that you should follow that prompting if you believe it is Jesus doing the prompting. I think he thinks you don't trust that 'voice' to be Jesus?

[Guest Username-Removed]

Well I've met all kinds of people who I first came into contact with on-line - mostly in amateur wrestling venues. This even includes one dating situation.... it didn't work out but we are still friends. As a result in our many journeys to wrestling tournaments and camps I rarely have to get a hotel room which is REALLY nice since I can't really afford one anyhow.

I have met a ton of people in that way too. Nearly all of them have mostly just friends in the same hobby as I have. I also had a website business for years (now sold to someone else), which I met many many of my customers after they made purchases from the website. I have a lot of very positive experiences with it which took me all over the west coast at events and shows.

Some of the people I met through my old website (now sold to someone else) were quite famous, including one current NBA Pro Basketball Player, and a retired NFL football player. Others include some very good friends to which I am still friends with. I even met the very first gal I kissed (and hadn't seen for over 30 years!) She ended up marrying another friend of mine - it was great to see them enjoying the same type of recreation I had. I guess my friends who I have met first on-line would total well over 100. Most of them are not my very close friends, but I have exteneded a certain level of trust with them.

I think you do have to be careful about people you meet. Perhaps, especially since there are bad people out there. I dont think its probably the best place to find a mate and get married for all time and eternity! But, the web will always draw like-minded people together. Afterall, like minded folks have been doing this for years before the Internet was created, and not having the web to blame for whatever problems they encountered.

My advice, always be careful, use the spirit to help determine who they are, and always meet in a public place first. You have to do a lot of inquiring first - and as pointed out, do not let your emotions overule your logic. Many of the questions I ask on-line tell me a TON about the person. Who they are is who they are, I never try and change anybody - I will provide advice when asked, but that's just me!

Also, just to repeat what I said earlier, I believe being Christian requires us to take some risks. I am outgoing, and I do not hide my light!

[lisajo]

How close is too close to someone you have met online?

The new wave of the future (and past for some folks) is internet relationships. How comfortable would you be meeting someone you 'know' online?

What would it take before you would allow for them to see you?

When is it okay to let your guard down and give out personal contact information?

Since joining LDS Talk, which is my internet home, I have met a few people, I have even let one of those people stay in my home. I have gone to dinner as a group with Bat & Jennifer, Taorist Saint and his wife, and Lindy has come and stayed with me. Just last summer Josie and I went to dinner.

I know a lot of kids use myspace as a dating resource. Both of my kids are currently dating people they met on myspace. I have a myspace account and I have check these people out as well. Oddly enough the people my kids are dating have even added me as a 'friend' :)

If say I was in town would you want to meet me along with my hubby?

I deffinetly would meet you, although i am very careful on line, I did go out ( To Utah) for an LDS chat get together once but was not able to go due to a family emergency while i was there, I am shy when it comes to poeple on the net. in my off line life i am not shy,

[shanstress70]

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Thank you, you have already answered it.

Have a great day!

Gosh, no I didn't. Please don't pretend to know my beliefs. They cannot be deduced by the five or so posts you've read from me since you've been here.

Shanstress, it seems to me that he thinks that hearing the prompting of the Spirit, telling you that you ought to meet the person you're chatting with online, means that you should follow that prompting if you believe it is Jesus doing the prompting. I think he thinks you don't trust that 'voice' to be Jesus?

I think you are correct with what this poster is saying. I think that is a very dangerous area that some Christians allow themselves to get into. I do believe that Christ can give us promptings, but we better be DARN sure we understand what He's prompting us to do. I know a LOT of people who thought they were doing a good thing or helping someone out, following Jesus' promptings, when in fact they were making a huge mistake. It's human nature for us to look for approval from God when we really want to do something. Maybe sometimes we don't listen as closely as we should... that's all I'm sayin'.

IF I felt that Jesus was telling me to meet someone in person that I've spoken with online, I would take every precaution including not going alone, and going to a VERY public place.

It seems to me that this poster was telling me that bc I wouldn't automatically meet Joe Schmoe in person, after getting a prompting that I should, that I'm not a true Christian. That bothers me. I don't think anyone should label another about what they believe. But I apologize if I'm in error about what he was saying.

[lisajo]

Not to completly getting of the topic but talking about god wanting us to meet some one in person and the spirit prompting...my frien sent me this please read it ..........

A young man had been to Wednesday night Bible Study.

The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord's voice

The young man couldn't help but wonder, "Does God still speak to people?"

After service he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message.

Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different ways.

It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, "God...If you still speak to

people speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey."

As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk.

He shook his head and said out loud, "God is that you?" He didn't get a reply and started on toward home.

But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk.

The young man thought about Samuel and how he didn't recognize the voice of God, and how little Samuel ran to Eli.

"Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk." It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home.

As he passed Seventh Street , he again felt the urge, "Turn Down that

street."

This is crazy he thought and drove on past the intersection.

Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street .

At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down

Seventh.

Half jokingly, he said out loud, "Okay, God, I will".

He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in semi commercial area of town. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst of neighborhoods either. The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed.

Again, he sensed something, "Go and give the milk to the people in the

house across the street." The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat.

"Lord, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid." Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk.

Finally, he opened the door, "Okay God, if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here."

He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, "Who is it? What do you want?" Then the door opened before the young man could get away.

The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he

just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem too

happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep. "What is it?"

The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, "Here, I brought this to you." The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway.

Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby

was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face.

The man began speaking and half crying, "We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking God to show me how to get some milk."

His wife in the kitchen yelled out,

"I ask him to send an Angel with some. Are you an Angel?"

The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man's hand. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face.

He knew that God still answers prayers.

[Guest Username-Removed]

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Thank you, you have already answered it.

Have a great day!

Gosh, no I didn't. Please don't pretend to know my beliefs. They cannot be deduced by the five or so posts you've read from me since you've been here.

Shanstress, it seems to me that he thinks that hearing the prompting of the Spirit, telling you that you ought to meet the person you're chatting with online, means that you should follow that prompting if you believe it is Jesus doing the prompting. I think he thinks you don't trust that 'voice' to be Jesus?

I think you are correct with what this poster is saying. I think that is a very dangerous area that some Christians allow themselves to get into. I do believe that Christ can give us promptings, but we better be DARN sure we understand what He's prompting us to do. I know a LOT of people who thought they were doing a good thing or helping someone out, following Jesus' promptings, when in fact they were making a huge mistake. It's human nature for us to look for approval from God when we really want to do something. Maybe sometimes we don't listen as closely as we should... that's all I'm sayin'.

IF I felt that Jesus was telling me to meet someone in person that I've spoken with online, I would take every precaution including not going alone, and going to a VERY public place.

It seems to me that this poster was telling me that bc I wouldn't automatically meet Joe Schmoe in person, after getting a prompting that I should, that I'm not a true Christian. That bothers me. I don't think anyone should label another about what they believe. But I apologize if I'm in error about what he was saying.

Actually, My point was that if you really KNOW .. I mean REALLY KNOW it was real prompting from God to do something .... ANYTHING, then, I believe there is really only one choice. But that being said, You really have to know the spirit and know what those promptings feel like in order to trust them. If I didnt have a lot of experience with them, I would use every other tool at my disposal to help me make that safe decision. I believe Heavanly Father wants what is good for us. Merely relying on the "flesh of man" is, well in my opinion, not good enough. I believe we all have access to much more truth that we realize. The trick is learning how to recognize it. If we dont, then we will spend a lot of time second guessing everything we do, and lose opportunities to serve. I didn't get to know that Christ lives by saying it a thousand times, I learned it by experience over time, which brought me closer to him, and let my trust of him to be increased. I have also learned by a life time of experience, that I must trust him. And because of my trust with him, he trusts me to do his will - which simply makes the whole thing work better!

Im sorry you were offended. It was not my intention.

[StrawberryFields]

I am sorry I never meant this topic to become such a war with Shanstress and Wordflood.

Time for a group hug.

I bet Moptopfan has her locked up in the basement.