Sister in law's wedding....

[Guest]

Retaliation does nothing to make you feel better, either. At least not in the long run.

[Leah]

I'm not sure, I think harbouring ill feelings could reflect both parties, and not just one. Though there are times when one might wish negative upon another for no valid reason, I'd say more often than not, people don't hold grudges against others unless they genuinely feel that the other person intentionally hurt them. Like they say, it takes two to tango. That doesn't mean it's acceptable to remain forever angry. I'm just saying that as human beings, we tend to react negatively when negative things have happened to us. Another example might be someone that has a poor reputation for being untactful and rude. Others might wish said person would jump off a cliff and never be heard from again. This reflects not only on those that have been hurt but the individual who is the offender.

You're not understanding the post.

You, and only you are responsible for your behavior. No matter what the other person did, your behavior is in your hands only and can't be blamed on the other person. You can make a choice to rise above. Someone may have done something legitimately wrong against me, but if I choose to retaliate or "punish", that's all on me.

[Quin]

Retaliation does nothing to make you feel better, either. At least not in the long run.

I ask myself the following question when I'm mad at someone:

Am I willing to spend the rest of my life in jail?

If not...

Then I don't kill them.

Anything pettier, and I don't play.

Amazing how much drama that cuts out of one's life.

Q

[Normandy]

What would I do? Be graceful and go.

It sounds like your husband really wants to, and you should be supportive of him. It doesn't mean you have to be best friends with her. I do understand it's a hassle for your husband with work, but sisters only get married once (in a while, for some). It might be something he'd always regret if he doesn't take the opportunity to go.

I say this from my own family experiences. There are a lot of functions I do not want to attend. I feel uncomfortable around my in-laws. I know they look down on me. It's always a lesson in humility when I'm around them. But I do it anyways because I love my husband and in the long run I know that he'll appreciate me being supportive. I also know that being around them is temporary.

Edited October 28, 2013 by Normandy

[Bini]

You're not understanding the post.

You, and only you are responsible for your behavior. No matter what the other person did, your behavior is in your hands only and can't be blamed on the other person. You can make a choice to rise above. Someone may have done something legitimately wrong against me, but if I choose to retaliate or "punish", that's all on me.

No, I didn't. You missed my disclaimer therein my post. I acknowledged your point, I was adding another thought into the mix, which you have missed.

[talisyn]

I think the best thing to do, at this point in time, is the husband goes to the wedding with mom and baby at home because that's a really long drive for the baby. And maybe at the next event everyone goes. Just because she can 'be the better person' doesn't mean she's ready to be, and not being ready can make stressful situations with stressful people turn into multi-generational feuds.

[Guest]

I ask myself the following question when I'm mad at someone:

Am I willing to spend the rest of my life in jail?

If not...

Then I don't kill them.

Anything pettier, and I don't play.

Amazing how much drama that cuts out of one's life.

Q

This needs to be printed and magnetized on my refrigerator.

[Guest Bambtheathy]

Hello. And Bye.

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