Guest Yediyd Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 For the last 7 years I've dated off and on and one things for sure, I'm not very successfull at finding someone thats right for me. Its pretty important to find someone thats spiritual. I can imagine being with someone like that and sharing spritual experiences, going to the temple etc etc. But in all my years of dating and even one marriage, I've yet to find someone that has those same characteristics that I find important.1) Is it that the people I seek dont have them?2) Or, is it that they dont reveal that?3) How do I find a potential future partner thats also interested in the importance of the spirit and the gospel in thier lives?Any ideas?don't know...but when you figure it out ....let me know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miztrniceguy Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 my wife and i met in an LDS singles chatroom. i came to missouri for a week of touring the LDS historical sites with her. the first was open house for nauvoo temple. asked her to marry me right before i went back home to wyoming. now married almost 5 yrs. i am now 41 and she is 39 oh...and Pam, meet wordflood...wordflood, meet pam... wow.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Marriage conversation???? Where did you get that out of what I posted???? HAHAHA ... BAHAAhaahahaFrom here sir,She is an educator here in Utah, but she didnt seem interested in finding a partner as she talked a lot about her career, and moving away as well traveling a lot. I dont have any issues with people that put a high priority on thier career. But, if there is going to be a match for me, that person would have to put the gospel first. The reason is because thats how I do it in my life, and I would want to share my personal goals with someone that has the same goals. Im not interested in dating someone that plans on traveling the world with thier career 50%-60% of the time away from home and no chance of me being there. We read of you intense desire for companionship, which is normal. I believe we are make for relationship. Your quick dismissal of this woman and frustration of her "dropping a hint" of valuing travel vs. committed to her spouse led me to believe there was some dialogue, perhaps not directly, but some that had to do with relationship probing on your part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Username-Removed Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Dr T. Actually there wasnt much probing - because I didnt say much. It was more like passive sonar rather than active sonar. In other words, I didnt even get a chance to ask any questions at all - but what she volunteered was quite a large volume of information. I didnt have to probe, I just listened. Just so everybody knows, I dont think less of this woman. I actually think of her as a friend, and I would go out and do things again but I wouldnt consider it a date, but very friendly conversation with someone interesting who has a great career in front of her. But the fact is, she is probably too busy for that type of friendship, and Im pretty busy myself. Dr T, when you say "Quick Dismissal", I'm not dismissing her as a person, just dismissing her as someone thats not compatible with me in a future dating relationship. And you know what, I am not friends with every Tom, Susan and Harry either. I have the right as human being to choose my relationships and my friendships. My best friendships, the ones I cherish the most are those people in which we share some of the deepest convictions, feelings and compassion for similar pursuits. Just because someone doesnt share the same pursuits, doesnt make that person bad, just not good for me. I dont believe there is only one way for a person to behave or act or live. But if a person is dating someone else, shouldn't you try and find someone that shares the same things as you? Isnt this what makes a good marriage - or at least a healthy dating relationship? I get the distinct impression that some of you on this forum dont believe that. Thats ok too. Im not one that believes you can marry any good person in the church and it will just magically work. It takes much more than that; I believe it takes a great amount of compatibility. Mars is signing off .... LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Just so everybody knows, I dont think less of this woman. I dont believe there is only one way for a person to behave or act or live. But if a person is dating someone else, shouldn't you try and find someone that shares the same things as you? Isnt this what makes a good marriage - or at least a healthy dating relationship?I get the distict impression that some of you on this forum dont believe that. Thats ok too. Im not one that believes you can Marry any good person in the church and it will work. It takes much more than that.Mars is signing off .... LOLi never thought you were degrading or thinking less of anyone. i don't think anyone is trying to attack or offend. but you ask for advice to imporve something ppl are going to start picking it apart to figure out what's wrong to fix it. i have never supported the statment that any two good members could make a marriage work. i understand the statment compleatly and agree with the principle, but i think that will only work in a time when the two ppl are almost perfect, not something i suggest trying for the fun of it in our day and time.something to consider is the different kinds of spirituality. not levels, kinds. we all have different gifts. i only recently realized that my way of "feeling" the holy spirit is quite different than most ppl. i see my husband as having an equal level of spirituality but he doesn't even come close to feeling the spirit as directly as i do. i believe he has the gift of faith. he knows some things, he knows the doctrines and he follows without question. which yes has gotten him into tough spots before because bishops aren't perfect. but all of those tough spots the lord was able to iron out. i've often thought of my husband that if anyone was going to be asked to perform a miricle it would be him. he has no hessitation to follow the lord. if he was told to part the seas or raise the dead he would have no question in his mind if he could, he just would. i question all the time. though i sometimes think i don't have the same kind of faith, i am very spiritual. i "hear" inspirations from the holy ghost. i have conversations. i get compleate sentenses. i have waken up in the middle of the night with inspiration to do very specific things. my husband doesn't get that kind of inspiration, sometimes i wonder if he gets anything remotely direct. lol if we could ever get our imperfect mortal tendencies straight the things we could do together with both of these gifts would be amazing. lol maybe you are already looking at that. if so wonderful. if not, think on it. she may not have the same gifts of the spirit as you but that doesn't mean she's not spiritual. she may be a giant in her way. (not talking about the woman you just went out with but any woman you meet) odds are she won't have the same gifts as you, we are to find someone that compliments us not copys us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Username-Removed Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 <div class='quotemain'>Just so everybody knows, I dont think less of this woman. I dont believe there is only one way for a person to behave or act or live. But if a person is dating someone else, shouldn't you try and find someone that shares the same things as you? Isnt this what makes a good marriage - or at least a healthy dating relationship?I get the distict impression that some of you on this forum dont believe that. Thats ok too. Im not one that believes you can Marry any good person in the church and it will work. It takes much more than that.Mars is signing off .... LOLi never thought you were degrading or thinking less of anyone. i don't think anyone is trying to attack or offend. but you ask for advice to imporve something ppl are going to start picking it apart to figure out what's wrong to fix it. i have never supported the statment that any two good members could make a marriage work. i understand the statment compleatly and agree with the principle, but i think that will only work in a time when the two ppl are almost perfect, not something i suggest trying for the fun of it in our day and time.something to consider is the different kinds of spirituality. not levels, kinds. we all have different gifts. i only recently realized that my way of "feeling" the holy spirit is quite different than most ppl. i see my husband as having an equal level of spirituality but he doesn't even come close to feeling the spirit as directly as i do. i believe he has the gift of faith. he knows some things, he knows the doctrines and he follows without question. which yes has gotten him into tough spots before because bishops aren't perfect. but all of those tough spots the lord was able to iron out. i've often thought of my husband that if anyone was going to be asked to perform a miricle it would be him. he has no hessitation to follow the lord. if he was told to part the seas or raise the dead he would have no question in his mind if he could, he just would. i question all the time. though i sometimes think i don't have the same kind of faith, i am very spiritual. i "hear" inspirations from the holy ghost. i have conversations. i get compleate sentenses. i have waken up in the middle of the night with inspiration to do very specific things. my husband doesn't get that kind of inspiration, sometimes i wonder if he gets anything remotely direct. lol if we could ever get our imperfect mortal tendencies straight the things we could do together with both of these gifts would be amazing. lol maybe you are already looking at that. if so wonderful. if not, think on it. she may not have the same gifts of the spirit as you but that doesn't mean she's not spiritual. she may be a giant in her way. (not talking about the woman you just went out with but any woman you meet) odds are she won't have the same gifts as you, we are to find someone that compliments us not copys us.Almom,Thank you for writing a well thought out post. Despite what the Dr. says, as you have probably guessed, im not on some "intense" quest or crusade to find a wife! HA! But I do occasionally date, when there is an opportunity to do so. Im sure your marraige works for you with your differences in faith and spirituality. I truely believe there are indeed many gifts of the spirit. We all amplify those gifts in various ways according to the spirit. Its not the gifts that concern me. What concerns me is how we act on them. Some people react as a rebel, and do the opposite. Some people dont do anything. Some people act NOW! What I desire is to know is where those people are that act on it. In Sunday school, I dont see them raising their hand and participating. I dont see them bearing thier testimony in church. Now, Just so all of your realize, I am narrowing down that group to those in my dating age range. And I realize they simply might all be married off. If so, Im ok with that.Almom - They are simply are not where I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 Hey WordFLOOD,...I'm not dismissing her as a person, just dismissing her as someone thats not compatible with me in a future dating relationship. I did not say you were sir. I think you've been misreading what I've written. Dating and marriage are huge pieces to life and ought not be taken lightly; I understand that. As you said, someone thats not compatible with me in a future dating relationship that's what I got from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted May 26, 2007 Report Share Posted May 26, 2007 ...It won't hurt you to pay attention - if you can't do it now, you'll have a terrible time when you're married.Paying attention wasnt the problem, at least for the first two hours. After that, I did get tired of only listening. I find that incredibly ironic dont you? Conversation is indeed that - two way. Ive never believed in a one way conversation. Do you?Word, of course pay attention during a date, that's a given. What I'm refering to is paying attention to those women you haven't really considered as dating material yet. Pay attention to the very subtle signals those women might be giving you.M. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MrsS Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 Conversation is indeed that - two way. Ive never believed in a one way conversation. Do you? One way conversation is a Broadcast, and WAY TOO MANY people broadcast instead of communicating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 "Broadcast" I like it MrsS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukeAir2006 Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pushka Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 oh...and Pam, meet wordflood...wordflood, meet pam... wow.gifLOL Misterniceguy, I was thinking the exact same thing. However, having read each other's posts on a number of issues, they may have already considered and rejected the opportunity to meet each other and see if they are compatible! At least they are both in Utah, which is a good starting point...perhaps they are PMing each other as I type! LOL.Good Luck to both of you WordFLOOD and Pam...I agree with Maureen's suggestion that women may be trying to send subtle 'I'm interested in you..' messages to Word, that he's not quite noticed...whatever the situation, just enjoy yourselves.Btw, I understand how frustrating it is to be with somebody so self centred that they only speak about themselves, and hardly give you a minute to interject. I've noticed that in somebody I've occasionally dated since March, and surprisingly the first time I started to interact verbally with him, he told me he couldn't get a word in edgeways, lol!! I've learned to just keep my mouth shut most of the time now, but I doubt that we will ever really get into a serious relationship, I just couldn't stand having to hear his stories all the time, knowing that he isn't interested one bit in my stories..Never mind, que sera, sera!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Wow people are quite presumptious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Username-Removed Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Aren't they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yediyd Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Aren't they?Hey Word, I'm single. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pushka Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Pam and WordFLOOD, I hope my post about you contacting each other didn't cause you offense...it really was only a jokey comment!! Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MrsS Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 WordFLOOD, Mamacat is single too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miztrniceguy Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Pam and WordFLOOD, I hope my post about you contacting each other didn't cause you offense...it really was only a jokey comment!! Sorry.i was kidding too....just having fun...didn't mean to offend..sorrymiztrniceguy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Username-Removed Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Its all good! I was having as much fun as you guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 No offense taken at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 I don't understand why anyone thinks it's hard to find someone. I've got a line of women just waiting for the day my wife dies or we end up divorced. Maybe you're just ugly people? (disclaimer: That last line is a joke.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Username-Removed Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 Jason, There are plenty of Episcopalian & Liberal Catholic women out there. I said I was looking for someone spiritual! (disclaimer too) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yediyd Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 Jason,There are plenty of Episcopalian & Liberal Catholic women out there. I said I was looking for someone spiritual! (disclaimer too)How 'bout me, Word? I'm spiritual...and I take real good care of my tooth, too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Username-Removed Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 Pam, Mama, and Yediyd, lets all get together and go an a group date, it'll be way fun. Just dont anybody pay no mind to Yediyd's single tooth! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 Pam, Mama, and Yediyd, lets all get together and go an a group date, it'll be way fun. Just dont anybody pay no mind to Yediyd's single tooth! LOL I'm in. We'll get Yediyd some of those fake fangs like at Halloween. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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