When is it okay to quit something?

[Backroads]

Some time ago I was pretty much jumped and made the president of my husband's Army Reserve unit's Family Readiness Group.  The group was the barest of bare bones then and continues to be now--I haven't been able to get any other women to join, so it's me and a girl from another state who can only afford to come down a couple of times a year (this isn't okay for the FRG to have only two people).  I have not yet been able to attend a training, so I have very little idea of what I'm supposed to be doing.  The lady that is somewhat of a mentor to me puts in a good fifteen hours a week for her FRG and I don't have that sort of time. I feel discouraged and, here's the kicker, I am not nor have never been all that interested in the group.

 

Part of me wants to quit, but the unit must have an FRG, my husband is the 1st Lieutenant, and as no one else is stepping up to the plate I feel obligated to try to make this thing work.

 

So, when is it appropriate, if ever, to quit something to which you feel a sense of obligation but no actual interest?

[SpiritDragon]

I think it all depends on the individual and the circumstances surrounding it. It really shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks, but what you think does matter. So if you find the pursuit isn't fulfilling your life in any way, and you don't feel like you are truly serving anyone else in this capacity while also not actually having any obligation thereto I can see no reason why quitting wouldn't be fully justifiable. However, that is from my perspective and not yours. Yours is the one that matters, because as I said your opinion matters, while others don't so much. Do you see yourself looking back on quitting and labeling yourself a quitter, or do  you see yourself looking back and thinking why didn't I stop sooner to look after XYZ that are so much more important and fulfilling to me. Are you spread to thin? If so something needs to give in order for you to maintain quality control in other areas as well, so if, say, you are going to burn out and no longer be able to continue to do your visiting teaching and keep up your calling(s) and look after your family and so forth, than surely giving something else up to ensure these don't suffer is not only justifiable, but actually wise. 

 

On the other hand if you really don't have many stresses and pressures and this area is simply boring to you, perhaps you just need to find out how to make it more interesting. Based on the fact that you have expressed time constraints above and beyond another lady, I'm inclined to believe you fall under the original category of being spread too thin.

 

The main reason I carefully avoided saying that other opinions don't matter at all, is because your husband's opinion matters for sure as far as you are concerned. Will stopping the FRG have implications at home? Will he be relieved to have you stop or disappointed? If his opinion is factoring in have a candid talk with him about the whole thing and clear the air. Find out his expectations and assert your own, make a decision together.

[Backroads]

Thanks for your thoughts.  For the record, Husband doesn't care at all about the FRG... but also sees the obligation of having it.

[notquiteperfect]

Two ideas - 

 

- See about combining with another group and share responsibilities?

- Decide to give it another x amount of time and call it good.  This way you have a game plan and a timeline.

[pam]

Two ideas - 

 

- See about combining with another group and share responsibilities?

- Decide to give it another x amount of time and call it good.  This way you have a game plan and a timeline.

I don't know if this particular position is anything like the Ombudsman program the Navy has.  If it is, you can't combine it with another group.

 

I was an Ombudsman for my ex's ship.  There was much confidentiality required.  I was the liaison between the captain of the ship and the families of the men aboard the ship.

 

While I wasn't responsible for any kind of social activities I did get involved. Especially when the ship was deployed for 6 months.

[applepansy]

Part of me wants to quit, but the unit must have an FRG, my husband is the 1st Lieutenant, and as no one else is stepping up to the plate I feel obligated to try to make this thing work.

 

So, when is it appropriate, if ever, to quit something to which you feel a sense of obligation but no actual interest?

When are volunteer organizations "required"?  

 

It is always appropriate to quit something that interferes with family time and resources.

 

I can say that buy have never been a military wife so I have no clue about that part.