Family Home Evening discussion notes

[askandanswer]

Over the last few months our family home evenings have merged more into discussions than set lessons. Here are the notes that I prepared for our family home evening discussion last Monday. I thought I’d post them here, partly because I think they are good questions for all of us to ponder about, and second, because I’m interested in peoples’ responses. In future, if I’m better organised, I might try to post my notes several days prior to Monday in the hope that I might be able to incorporate any posts that may result into our family discussion.

 

Theme setting scriptures

Matthew 5:48, D&C 103:36, D&C 59:23, D&C 76: 50-70, 1 Corinthians 9:24

 

Central question:

What is stopping us from being better than we are

What is stopping us from moving forward at a faster rate?

 

Are we too tired, or too busy, coping with too many other demands?

Do we think that we are good enough as we are and don’t need to change

Do we like ourselves as we are and don’t want to change

Do we consciously reject the idea of being better

Are we being asked for too much?

Are we procrastinating, saying that we’ll put it all off for later

Have we given up after repeated failures

Is the motivation, or the reward, not great enough to inspire us to greater efforts

Are we enjoying things too much as they are at the moment to change?

Is God so good that He will give us the blessings anyway, without having to do what He has asked of us?

Are we already as good as we think we can be?

Are we feeling discouraged and disheartened and don’t really care?

Are we currently trying to “consolidate” the good changes we have recently made before we begin our next step? Are we temporarily resting on our laurels, and just taking a bit of a break for the moment?

 

If the answer is none of the above, what is the answer? What is holding is back, or preventing us, from becoming a better person? And what do we do about it? How do we overcome this problem?

 

Lets look at the other side of the coin. How did we become as good as we are? What are the decisions that we made and the actions that we took that had the most effect on us becoming the person that we are now? Will doing more of the same help us become better, or will doing more of the same just keep us from falling behind?

[Guest]

The answer for me is simple.  Faith.

 

I'll give you an example.  Currently, I am 20 lbs overweight.  It is giving me back problems.  I know what I need to do to be healthy again.  I can write a book on it.  But, a year later, I'm still 20 lbs overweight.  Why?  Because, I lack the Faith that my efforts - diet, exercise, saying No to ice-cream and marshmallow pies, etc. - is going to be worth it.  I have in the back of my consciousness this niggling thought that my weight right now is just fine.

 

So, then, let's say I find a doctor I absolutely trust who tells me - Anatess, you better lose the 20 lbs or you're going to die.  I have absolute faith in this doctor... I am certain I will lose the 20 lbs in a month.

Edited July 22, 2015 by anatess

[NightSG]

So, then, let's say I find a doctor I absolutely trust who tells me - Anatess, you better lose the 20 lbs or you're going to die.  I have absolute faith in this doctor... I am certain I will lose the 20 lbs in a month.

 

Trusting a doctor is just plain crazy.  Find yourself a broke psychopath, and offer him whatever you've been wasting on doctors, to kill you if you haven't lost the weight by the end of August.  Then you can have real faith.

 

 

[pkstpaul]

I mean no critizim or condemnation but, may I ask what the makeup of the family is? The details of the topic would be overwhelming if you were holding a college class for three hours. An FHE should be lighter than this.

 

If I were to give a short answer to the central premise, I would say it is our propensitiy to enjoy life that keeps us from wanting to feel "restricted" by the same disciplines meant to free us in the eternities. Goes back to my take on this being a buzz killer of a FHE topic, unless you have a room full of intellectuals and a bottle of wine - oops, no wine. :)

[askandanswer]

I ended up concluding that the two things that are most helpful in enabling us to move forward at a greater rate are greater faith and greater love of God and our fellow man. I think that with greater faith and love, most of the situations that currently prevent us from moving forward faster will become less of an obstacle.

 

We have four children - two RMs, another son aged 17 and a daughter 15. Its mostly the older two children and my wife who participate in these discussions while the younger two mostly listen and occasionally comment. The older two quite enjoy thoughtful discussions, although its still a bit hit and miss as to exactly what questions they will enjoy discussing.

[pkstpaul]

I ended up concluding that the two things that are most helpful in enabling us to move forward at a greater rate are greater faith and greater love of God and our fellow man. I think that with greater faith and love, most of the situations that currently prevent us from moving forward faster will become less of an obstacle.

 

We have four children - two RMs, another son aged 17 and a daughter 15. Its mostly the older two children and my wife who participate in these discussions while the younger two mostly listen and occasionally comment. The older two quite enjoy thoughtful discussions, although its still a bit hit and miss as to exactly what questions they will enjoy discussing.

Thank you. I didn't want you to be offended in my comments. Sometimes writing isn't the best form of communication. I wasn't meaning to be critical. I'm glad you raised your children to have that much interest.

[JojoBag]

Over the last few months our family home evenings have merged more into discussions than set lessons. Here are the notes that I prepared for our family home evening discussion last Monday. I thought I’d post them here, partly because I think they are good questions for all of us to ponder about, and second, because I’m interested in peoples’ responses. In future, if I’m better organised, I might try to post my notes several days prior to Monday in the hope that I might be able to incorporate any posts that may result into our family discussion.

 

Theme setting scriptures

Matthew 5:48, D&C 103:36, D&C 59:23, D&C 76: 50-70, 1 Corinthians 9:24

 

Central question:

What is stopping us from being better than we are

What is stopping us from moving forward at a faster rate?

 

 

I've spent the last 2 1/2 years researching a couple gospel topics and what I've found has surprised me.  When I talked to other members about their feelings on a couple of subjects, I was further surprised (although I shouldn't have been) as to their answers.  What I have concluded is that as Joseph Smith said, too many members believe in tradition and not the truth.  They have become very secularized and have modified the ways and wisdom of the world to fit their view of the "truth." 

 

Let's take modesty for example.  Modesty covers physical appearance (not just dress), speech and thought. Over the past two decades, in every single ward I've ever been in there are women who think that dressing modestly is not showing too much cleavage or the skirt not coming too high up the leg.  Too many others simply ignore any standards of modesty.  My son emailed me yesterday and told me about an ignorant "good" LDS girl wearing a bikini to a YSA lake activity.  His bishop took off his shirt and asked the girl to put it on.  Then, there are the men who think this is normal and don't say anything to their wives and daughters about how they dress, AND the men who ogle these women.  These men are just as wrong as the women.  Then the men who wear shorts that are above the knee or wear tank tops.  All of it is wrong.  Then there are those who have more than one ear piercing, tattoos, wild hair colors, expensive, flashy clothes, etc.

 

How about modesty in speech and demeanor?  There are members who think nothing of swearing and using foul, vulgar and profane language.  They tell or listen to dirty jokes, jokes that are irreverent, vulgar and crude, etc.  The loud, obnoxious, attention seeking people have a problem with demeanor.

 

Next is modesty in thought.  Everything you do starts in your mind and what you put into your mind determines your thoughts.  So, the guy who ogles the inappropriately dressed women or looks at the swimsuit magazines, who think they are simply "admiring the beauty of women," but are actually lusting.  And the TV shows, movies, video games, etc., that have inappropriately dressed characters; the books and magazines that are nothing more than written porn - all of this eliminates the ability for modesty in thought.  If you fill your mind with secular, worldly material, you will think secular, worldly thoughts and become a worldly, secular person.  Conversely, if you fill your mind with spiritual, Christ-like thoughts, you will become a spiritual, Christ-like person.

 

As Sister Elaine S. Dalton said, "Virtue encompasses modesty—in thought, language, dress, and demeanor. And modesty is the foundation stone of chastity.  ...Virtue is a requirement for exaltation."

 

There are so many more areas where LDS are very worldly, but this will do for now.