A Cats Point Of View

[Iggy]

The Ten Cat Command-ments

1. I am the Lord of thy house.

2. Thou shall have no other pets before me.

3. Thou shalt not ever ignore me.

4. I shall ignore thou when I feel like it.

5. Thou shalt be grateful that I even give thou the time of day.

6. Remember my food dish and keep it full.

7. Thou shalt spend most of thy money on toys and gifts for me.

8. Thou shalt always have thy lap ready for me to curl up in.

9. Thou shalt shower me with love and attention upon demand.

10. Above all, thou shalt do anything and everything it takes to keep me happy.

[pushka]

Awww...nice one Iggy! Thanks for the smile :)

[Dr T]

Iggy,

That is hilarious! Thank you for that perspective.

[Iggy]

Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive?

The cat world is divided over the etiquette of presenting humans with the thoughtful gift of a recently disemboweled animal. Some believe that humans prefer these gifts already dead, while others maintain that humans enjoy a slowly expiring cricket or rodent just as much as we do, given their jumpy and playful movements in picking the creatures up after they've been presented.

After much consideration of the human psyche, we recommend that cold-blooded animals (large insects, frogs, lizards, garden snakes and the occasional earthworm) should be presented dead, while warm-blooded animals (birds, rodents, your neighbor's Pomeranian) are better still living. When you see the

expression on your human's face, you'll know it's worth it.

[pushka]

Yuk, Iggy, my Pushka has presented me with more than my fair share of dead, and sometimes alive rodents and birds...poor things!

[prisonchaplain]

WARNING: THIS MAY BE MY FIRST OBNOXIOUS POST.

My wife is convinced that cats are an animal that devolved as a result of the Fall. So, as an alternative offering on the commandments of cats--one that might be called "righteous dominion," might I offer the following:

http://www.plejaderna.nu/torget/katt3.jpg

[Dr T]

at least he's not kicking them... :)

[Iggy]

WARNING: THIS MAY BE MY FIRST OBNOXIOUS POST.

My wife is convinced that cats are an animal that devolved as a result of the Fall. So, as an alternative offering on the commandments of cats--one that might be called "righteous dominion," might I offer the following:

http://www.plejaderna.nu/torget/katt3.jpg

You are too much!

[Palerider]

The Ten Cat Command-ments

1. I am the Lord of thy house.

2. Thou shall have no other pets before me.

3. Thou shalt not ever ignore me.

4. I shall ignore thou when I feel like it.

5. Thou shalt be grateful that I even give thou the time of day.

6. Remember my food dish and keep it full.

7. Thou shalt spend most of thy money on toys and gifts for me.

8. Thou shalt always have thy lap ready for me to curl up in.

9. Thou shalt shower me with love and attention upon demand.

10. Above all, thou shalt do anything and everything it takes to keep me happy.

I would think my cats helped write these......LOL!!!!!!!!!!

[Iggy]

How And When to Get Your Human's Attention

Humans often erroneously assume that there are other, more important activities than taking care of your immediate needs, such as conducting business, spending time with their families or even sleeping.

Though this is dreadfully inconvenient, you can make this work to your advantage by pestering your human at the moment it is the busiest. It is usually so flustered that it will do whatever you want it to do, just to get you out of its hair. Not coincidentally, human teenagers follow this same practice.

Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human to do what you want:

Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it's something they assume is more important than you. They will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys and small children.

Waking your human at odd hours: A cat's golden time is between 3:30 and 4:30 in the morning. If you paw at your human's sleeping face during this time, you have a better than even chance that it will get up and, in an incoherent haze, do exactly what you want. You may actually have to scratch deep sleepers to get their attention remember to vary the scratch site to keep the human from getting suspicious.

[Elphaba]

WARNING: THIS MAY BE MY FIRST OBNOXIOUS POST.

My wife is convinced that cats are an animal that devolved as a result of the Fall.

This is my daughter's cat and this is me washing away its sins!

Elphaba

[Iggy]

Elphaba - you are just tooooooo funny - Just what kind of a witch are you that you don't like cats?

Most of my cats loved to jump in the tub when it was filled with bubble bath. Granted the first time it was an accident - they were just batting at the bubbles. But after that, they did it because they enjoyed it. And they enjoyed getting dried off with a towel and then the blow dry and brush out afterwards.

Except for the two cats I have now, I have always bathed my cats from when I first got them. Best way to get rid of the fleas. What cats don't like is to be doused in cold water or to be dunked in anger.

[Elphaba]

Elphaba - you are just tooooooo funny - Just what kind of a witch are you that you don't like cats?

It's THIS cat Iggy. I tried my best to love him. But he just "rubs" me the wrong way, and I can't breathe once he's gone!

He actually can be really adorable. He loves to snuggle in fun places, and when he first sees you in the morning he's so excited he does long "happy rolls" on the kitchen floor.

But just as I start to coo . . . just as I start to smile . . . just as I'm bending down to pet him . . . just as I'm giving in . . . SNAP! he jumps 10 feet high as if I've just tazered him!

Eventually, he just was making me so mad all of the time I quit trying to like him. And I am much happier for it.

But my daughter is seriously obssessed with him, (she made her co-workers celebrate his birthday!), so I have to tolerate him for her sake. And she takes good care of him, so, I'm stuck until she moves out.

I've had other cats that I've just adored. This one is evil!

Elphaba

[Iggy]

Ignore the beast then. There is only two species on the planet earth who can do Ignore - cats and Human WOMAN. Human Woman is the best at it - so give it a taste of IGNORE.

I was just thinking - maybe it could be it just wants attention on it's own terms. Nothing wrong with that - my cat, Ethel is like that. She is determined to have her own way. So I let her. When she want to cuddle, or be petted, she knows where my lap is.

Now if I could just get Fred to knock off with the zapping me with electricity! Yep, he rolls around on the carpet or rubs against the furniture to build up the static electricty, then he hunts me down to zap me! The little booger - it sends me to the moon too. I swear I can hear him laughing after he does it too! He does it to Ethel, and she smacks him good once she peels herself off of the ceiling.

[Elphaba]

I was just thinking - maybe it could be it just wants attention on it's own terms. Nothing wrong with that - my cat, Ethel is like that. She is determined to have her own way. So I let her. When she want to cuddle, or be petted, she knows where my lap is.

You mean let HIM do what HE wants when HE wants to do it?

Bah!

Okay, confession time. I'm not good at that. I don't know how else to say it. You see, I'm evil too. Yes, it's true. You know how I told you he jumps 10 feet in the air as if I've just tazered him? Well, I did. Just tazer him. It's hysterical to see his hair frizz out as he's screeching towards the ceiling. hehehehe

I'm just kidding Pushka!!!

But you have hit on the problem. I just want an animal to do what I want when I want it. And we both know cats aren't that way. Except, of course, huge, lazy fat pusses that just lay next to you all day long and don't move a muscle. THAT's the perfect cat for me.

Now if I could just get Fred to knock off with the zapping me with electricity! Yep, he rolls around on the carpet or rubs against the furniture to build up the static electricty, then he hunts me down to zap me! The little booger - it sends me to the moon too. I swear I can hear him laughing after he does it too! He does it to Ethel, and she smacks him good once she peels herself off of the ceiling.

You're cats are evil too.

Elphaba

[Iggy]

You're cats are evil too. Elphaba

Noooo, they aren't evil - not really - they are just . . . . . .CATS

[Elphaba]

<div class='quotemain'>

You're cats are evil too. Elphaba

Noooo, they aren't evil - not really - they are just . . . . . .CATS

I know. Just don't tell my daughter I know.

Elphie

[Annabelli]

<div class='quotemain'>Elphaba - you are just tooooooo funny - Just what kind of a witch are you that you don't like cats?

It's THIS cat Iggy. I tried my best to love him. But he just "rubs" me the wrong way, and I can't breathe once he's gone!

He actually can be really adorable. He loves to snuggle in fun places, and when he first sees you in the morning he's so excited he does long "happy rolls" on the kitchen floor.

But just as I start to coo . . . just as I start to smile . . . just as I'm bending down to pet him . . . just as I'm giving in . . . SNAP! he jumps 10 feet high as if I've just tazered him!

Eventually, he just was making me so mad all of the time I quit trying to like him. And I am much happier for it.

But my daughter is seriously obssessed with him, (she made her co-workers celebrate his birthday!), so I have to tolerate him for her sake. And she takes good care of him, so, I'm stuck until she moves out.

I've had other cats that I've just adored. This one is evil!

Elphaba

We have a cat that looks to be the same breed as yours. We believe that they are Bombay. Apparently a lady in Tennessee tried to breed a miniature panther and the result was named Bombay.

The cat organization that we are associated with tells me that one of these cats has taken to living in the yard of one of our people. He paces in the driveway when people stop at their house and threatens them if they try to get out without the house owners coming outside. They have named him Little Hitler.

Our Bombay was offered to us after the passing of one of our cats. They were having a hard time placing him and he had been to several homes (about 5) only to stay about 15 minutes before they gave him back.

He was 3 months old when we got him and he had already been coined "the beast." Apparently he would run under the couch or bed and make a loud lion roar that terrified the new owners.

When I brought him into our house, I put his carrier down in my son's room, opened the door, and walked away. He was running for the bed when he passed a football sweat sock on the floor. He stopped in his tracks, sniffed the sock, and looked around. He sat by the sock occasionally patting his paw on the carpet until my son came home from school. My son walked in, scooped him up, and "the beast" has been a Teddy Bear to everyone in the house ever since. Well except for the dogs that he likes to terrorize.

He is now 2 years old and had a problem with crystals about a year ago. He is on a special diet but has developed a bladder infection. Thankfully he likes his medicine. I am looking for an herb to give him when he has recovered. So far the two for cats with urinary tract problems is Couch Grass (Quack Grass...England) and Wheat Grass (Kansas...USA). That requires a juicer. ((I know, I know, they are common grass weeds!....just unavailable here.)) I am still looking into Vitamin K.

Bombay Cats make the most unusual pets.

[Iggy]

Cat Diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 -Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep deprivation; incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

-- from the Diary of Puff

[Dr T]

I love those Iggy