Dedicating a grave

[classylady]

My father-in-law passed away a few days ago and my husband has been asked by the family to dedicate his father's grave.  During the prayer portion of the dedication is it appropriate for my husband to have mentally prepared some words prior to the prayer, or should it be strictly off-the-cuff, so to speak?  If any of the men on this site have dedicated a grave before, what was your experience, and how did you prepare for it?

Edited December 14, 2015 by classylady

[David13]

1.

 

I have no experience at this.

Due to recent health issues, I am preparing my own grave.

I didn't realize there was to be a dedication.

I would think off the cuff is best, but off the cuff where he has thought ahead of time what he is going to say. 

I need information on this topic also.

And, can I dedicate my own grave?  Who usually dedicates a grave?  The Bishop?

dc

[classylady]

1.

 

I have no experience at this.

Due to recent health issues, I am preparing my own grave.

I didn't realize there was to be a dedication.

I would think off the cuff is best, but off the cuff where he has thought ahead of time what he is going to say. 

I need information on this topic also.

And, can I dedicate my own grave?  Who usually dedicates a grave?  The Bishop?

dc

David, you wouldn't dedicate your own grave.  Here are the instructions according to the manual.

Dedicating Graves

A person who dedicates a grave must hold the Melchizedek Priesthood and must be authorized by the priesthood officer who conducts the service.

To dedicate a grave, he:

1. 1. 

   Addresses Heavenly Father.

2. 2. 

   States that he is dedicating the grave by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.

3. 3. 

   Dedicates and consecrates the burial plot as the resting place for the body of the deceased.

4. 4. 

   Where appropriate, prays that the place will be hallowed and protected until the Resurrection.

5. 5. 

   Asks the Lord to comfort the family and expresses other thoughts as the Spirit directs.

6. 6. 

   Closes in the name of Jesus Christ.

[David13]

Classy lady

Thank you

I need to kick myself or something, as I did not think of the manual at all.

 

Let me also add my condolences as to the death in your family.

dc

Edited December 14, 2015 by David13

[Anddenex]

My father-in-law passed away a few days ago and my husband has been asked by the family to dedicate his father's grave.  During the prayer portion of the dedication is it appropriate for my husband to have mentally prepared some words prior to the prayer, or should it be strictly off-the-cuff, so to speak?  If any of the men on this site have dedicated a grave before, what was your experience, and how did you prepare for it?

 

The dedication of a grave is similar to any other priesthood blessing.  The bishop I served with would often share thoughts he had already written down, or what he felt impressed by the spirit to share.  He would also speak as directed by the spirit during the dedication.

 

The important note, if thoughts shared have been prepared the important aspect is that they are promptings, not our own will.

[Guest]

My brother dedicated my dad's grave. It was beautiful, and the part of his funeral that I look back on for peace.

[estradling75]

Joseph Smith wrote the First Temple Dedication out... We have it as Section 109.  Now a grave is not a temple... but I think the idea can hold...  The key is having the spirit...  You can and should have the spirit when doing it but that does not preclude the idea of spirit filled preparation...   Look at it this way... Every general conference we hear very spiritual talks... talks that were prepared and written down in advance.

[Vort]

My father-in-law passed away a few days ago and my husband has been asked by the family to dedicate his father's grave.  During the prayer portion of the dedication is it appropriate for my husband to have mentally prepared some words prior to the prayer, or should it be strictly off-the-cuff, so to speak?  If any of the men on this site have dedicated a grave before, what was your experience, and how did you prepare for it?

 

I see nothing wrong with preparing words for the prayer.

[Guest]

My brother dedicated my dad's grave. It was beautiful, and the part of his funeral that I look back on for peace.

 

ETA: I'm quite sure he prepared it. It was pretty polished, but very heartfelt, and I believe inspired. 

 

I'm sorry for your loss. 

[classylady]

My brother dedicated my dad's grave. It was beautiful, and the part of his funeral that I look back on for peace.

 

 

For my daughter's funeral, it was the prayer at the dedication of her grave that also brought me the most peace.  My brother-in-law was the one who offered the prayer and it was heartfelt and I truly believe inspired.  That prayer is also what I remember the most of the whole funeral.

[Capitalist_Oinker]

As others here have already mentioned, there is nothing wrong with reciting words that you have mentally prepared in advance. Many times those words are given by the Spirit in advance. 

I've also had the experience of mentally preparing words in advance, and then never reciting those words in the dedication because the Spirit dictated otherwise. If your husband follows the outline in the handbook it will be difficult to go wrong. 

[Guest]

Condolences for your loss, classylady.

 

+1 on Capital's post above.

 

 

 

 

On a sidenote... I was asked to say the closing prayer at sacrament yesterday.   I wrote my prayer down and read it on the podium.  Still can't quite shake off that Catholic side of me.  The bishop thanked me for a good prayer, so I guess it was just fine.

Edited December 14, 2015 by anatess

[Guest]

To both the OP and Anatess's comment:  When I was at EFY a lifetime ago, we actually had a "class" on how to pray.  One of the suggestions the speaker gave was to write down beforehand the things you want to pray about.  Then he had to emphasize that it is ok to open your eyes and look at the list that you thoughtfully (and spiritually -- hopefully) prepared for the very purpose of praying for these things.

 

There is nothing wrong with prepared words as long as they are from the heart, mind, and will of Christ.  In a way you are praying beforehand.  Then you're just allowing others to share your prayer at a later time.  Or in the case of private prayers, you're merely formalizing it to satisfy the true order of prayer.