Coming Back To The Church...

[4g63punk]

Hey guys just decided to come back to the church.. I am 25 and just broke up with my gf of two years.. did not live the life of the church.. could not marry her for some reason.. just something inside of me said this is all wrong.. we do not click as much as i would like with my wife.. so i waited for two years trying to feel comfortable with asking her to marry me.. Well anyhow it finally ended.. I have a 2 and a half month old lil girl as a result of the relationship.. Well now I have decided to go back to the church because I am going to need alot of help with my life and raising my lil girl.. I have met an awesome lds girl and if i could marry her tomorrow i would but we are going to do things right and get married in the temple.. I left the church because of some negative experiences when i was younger.. My parents nor grandparents are active and in a small town in utah that is a big deal.. So yeah totally happy to be coming back...

[Canuck Mormon]

Welcome. I hope all goes well for you. Coming back is a big step, but it sounds like you got a good head on your shoulders. Good luck to you.

[tiancum]

Welcome back

You join the ranks of simple- weak -sinners

[SundaeSarah]

Hey guys just decided to come back to the church.. I am 25 and just broke up with my gf of two years.. did not live the life of the church.. could not marry her for some reason.. just something inside of me said this is all wrong.. we do not click as much as i would like with my wife.. so i waited for two years trying to feel comfortable with asking her to marry me.. Well anyhow it finally ended.. I have a 2 and a half month old lil girl as a result of the relationship.. Well now I have decided to go back to the church because I am going to need alot of help with my life and raising my lil girl.. I have met an awesome lds girl and if i could marry her tomorrow i would but we are going to do things right and get married in the temple.. I left the church because of some negative experiences when i was younger.. My parents nor grandparents are active and in a small town in utah that is a big deal.. So yeah totally happy to be coming back...

Congratulations on your decision Nicka -- I also live in a small town ...I"m sure the people in your ward will welcome you with open arms when they see that you need them. Just don't leave your family out of your lives just because they are inactive ...you never know what the future will hold for them.

[4g63punk]

Yeah I am out of that small town now.. I live in slc and am very happy with my ward.. I have meeting with the missionairies tonight and with my bishop tonight..

Welcome back

You join the ranks of simple- weak -sinners

what do you mean?

[tiancum]

At the risk of sounding like a bible thumper...

We are all sinners...total screw ups.

The Lord calls us the "weak and the simple".

many at church forget that we are there to repent, and serve. It is impossible to follow the savior if we are not continually repenting/ looking inward. A lifelong process.

Don't expect anyone to be perfect, and most of all, don't expect perfection in yourself, but slow gradual and a beautiful conversion.

[luckygirl]

Hey guys just decided to come back to the church.. I am 25 and just broke up with my gf of two years.. did not live the life of the church.. could not marry her for some reason.. just something inside of me said this is all wrong.. we do not click as much as i would like with my wife.. so i waited for two years trying to feel comfortable with asking her to marry me.. Well anyhow it finally ended.. I have a 2 and a half month old lil girl as a result of the relationship.. Well now I have decided to go back to the church because I am going to need alot of help with my life and raising my lil girl.. I have met an awesome lds girl and if i could marry her tomorrow i would but we are going to do things right and get married in the temple.. I left the church because of some negative experiences when i was younger.. My parents nor grandparents are active and in a small town in utah that is a big deal.. So yeah totally happy to be coming back...

hi!

I am also the member of the church and i broke up with my bf few months ago. I also the same situation that i did not live the right ways and dont want to come to church because i knew what i was wrong. it is pity and hurt that we can not get married because we are so different. . I feel really terrible and i wish that i followed the rules to have happiness..but the good things is that i had my mother and friends from mormon church... they are so nice and they make me feel better now.

i hope u are happy and forget everything in the past because past is past and we must live for the future...

[4g63punk]

<div class='quotemain'>

Hey guys just decided to come back to the church.. I am 25 and just broke up with my gf of two years.. did not live the life of the church.. could not marry her for some reason.. just something inside of me said this is all wrong.. we do not click as much as i would like with my wife.. so i waited for two years trying to feel comfortable with asking her to marry me.. Well anyhow it finally ended.. I have a 2 and a half month old lil girl as a result of the relationship.. Well now I have decided to go back to the church because I am going to need alot of help with my life and raising my lil girl.. I have met an awesome lds girl and if i could marry her tomorrow i would but we are going to do things right and get married in the temple.. I left the church because of some negative experiences when i was younger.. My parents nor grandparents are active and in a small town in utah that is a big deal.. So yeah totally happy to be coming back...

hi!

I am also the member of the church and i broke up with my bf few months ago. I also the same situation that i did not live the right ways and dont want to come to church because i knew what i was wrong. it is pity and hurt that we can not get married because we are so different. . I feel really terrible and i wish that i followed the rules to have happiness..but the good things is that i had my mother and friends from mormon church... they are so nice and they make me feel better now.

i hope u are happy and forget everything in the past because past is past and we must live for the future...

wow do i agree...

[Aphrodite]

We are all sinners...total screw ups.

The Lord calls us the "weak and the simple".

many at church forget that we are there to repent, and serve. It is impossible to follow the savior if we are not continually repenting/ looking inward. A lifelong process.

I am really gonna try and not be negative here-But Tiancum you have summed up why I have felt the need to 'tone down my membership' as it were. That we are all supposed to be 'weak' and 'simple' and 'sinners'. Its just awful!! I thought the gospel is supposed to make us happy? (well obviously supposed is the objective word here as it didnt make me happy in the end) Why not look for the good in ourselves? Recognise our achievements? Feel happy with who we are and the effort we're making? I just wondered why you felt the need to characterise members as such especially to Nicka. Is that how you feel about yourself, and how you view other members? If you do, I think thats actually really sad

[tiancum]

Yup that is how i see myself. Weak and simple....in constant need of repentance.

Why not look for the good in ourselves? Recognize our achievements? Feel happy with who we are and the effort we're making?

Who said i am not happy with who I am?

But i know it is not by my own strength that I have done it...and they are not my achievements. I didn't do it alone...ever. It is because I realize how frail I am that I love myself so much.

Why did i say all this, because I didn't want him to expect others nor himself to be perfect over night. I thank you for the opportunity you have given me to explain myself further.

Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Our job, and the example the prophets have set forth is one of self examination....Seeing our weakness, and taking it to one who is mighty to save. It is only then that we become pure in heart. We all know the promise to those that are pure in heart..... When this promise is fulfilled, we do not care so much about our little achievements, but we know that the Lord approves of the little we can offer him, even though we are weak.

Last conference at least 3 speakers spoke of having a broken heart... How the Lord requires that we possess a broken heart to follow Him. One even said that we need this constantly....Like he explained, it does not mean we are miserable, but happy and joyous. But we know in whom we have trusted, and we know that where we are weak, He is strong.

Can a broken horse be happy? Yes, of course. It just has become more submissive, and will follow directions of someone with a better view.

[Aphrodite]

Yup that is how i see myself. Weak and simple....in constant need of repentance.

Why not look for the good in ourselves? Recognize our achievements? Feel happy with who we are and the effort we're making?

Who said i am not happy with who I am?

But i know it is not by my own strength that I have done it...and they are not my achievements. I didn't do it alone...ever. It is because I realize how frail I am that I love myself so much.

Why did i say all this, because I didn't want him to expect others nor himself to be perfect over night. I thank you for the opportunity you have given me to explain myself further.

Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Our job, and the example the prophets have set forth is one of self examination....Seeing our weakness, and taking it to one who is mighty to save. It is only then that we become pure in heart. We all know the promise to those that are pure in heart..... When this promise is fulfilled, we do not care so much about our little achievements, but we know that the Lord approves of the little we can offer him, even though we are weak.

Last conference at least 3 speakers spoke of having a broken heart... How the Lord requires that we possess a broken heart to follow Him. One even said that we need this constantly....Like he explained, it does not mean we are miserable, but happy and joyous. But we know in whom we have trusted, and we know that where we are weak, He is strong.

Can a broken horse be happy? Yes, of course. It just has become more submissive, and will follow directions of someone with a better view.

Hmm its interesting to view yourself like that. thanks for explaining. I think a lot of people put an intense amount of pressure on themselves to be 'perfect' as thats what the church is teaching. Its not a healthy way to be a perfectionist. My brother in law is really into the church and feels he has to be 'perfect' in everything. If he isnt, he gets really really stressed, so much so that hes on strong medications to control these feelings. Hes basically not happy. My Mother in law is the same. Not a good way to be. To a point thats how i felt when i was a teenage, and the other side of that was looking at people who were still trying, and perceiving them as weak and 'sinners'. It breeds self righteousness, i see it all the time in every ward I go to. Those who feel they are perfect and who look down on the other members for not being as good as them. Im not sure Ive come across that attitude anywhere else other than the church which is why the whole 'perfection' and 'sinners' theory really doesnt work for me. I feel happier and freer knowing I am actually a good person and not a weak and feeble sinner. Ive literally had to keep telling myself Carrie, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON!" because i felt how you said for so long and saw myself as less of who I really am. But if ure happy with that then i suppose its your choice :)

[Palerider]

welcome back and good luck to you.

[tiancum]

Its not a healthy way to be a perfectionist.

I totally agree. But there is never any harm in admitting that we have room to improve.

Those who feel they are perfect and who look down on the other members for not being as good as them.

Isn't that a shame?

...people who were still trying, and perceiving them as weak and 'sinners'. It breeds self righteousness

I actually do see everyone as "sinners" and "weak"... Just like me. And I love them for the pertinacity they have in doing their best to overcome our little foibles. Many are my heroes.

I don't think seeing others as sinners breeds self righteousness, but when we think others are beneath us. When we see ourselves as better because we do not possess the specific weakness another possesses.

I think a lot of people put an intense amount of pressure on themselves to be 'perfect' as thats what the church is teaching.

I know, isn't it a shame???... all the "church" asks is that we look inward and repent when we need to. And to be humble enough to let the Savior teach us when we need correcting.

I actually love it when the Lord shows me something i need to work on... I love that I am not perfect, and that I won't make it there any time soon. Honestly I don't have much time to see others sinfulness. I am just grateful that they are in that same boat as I am.

Someone once described evil as someone who was not willing to see their imperfection, but to justify themselves (and all their actions)and appear perfect at all costs.

[Canuck Mormon]

Hmm its interesting to view yourself like that. thanks for explaining. I think a lot of people put an intense amount of pressure on themselves to be 'perfect' as thats what the church is teaching. Its not a healthy way to be a perfectionist. My brother in law is really into the church and feels he has to be 'perfect' in everything. If he isnt, he gets really really stressed, so much so that hes on strong medications to control these feelings. Hes basically not happy. My Mother in law is the same. Not a good way to be. To a point thats how i felt when i was a teenage, and the other side of that was looking at people who were still trying, and perceiving them as weak and 'sinners'. It breeds self righteousness, i see it all the time in every ward I go to. Those who feel they are perfect and who look down on the other members for not being as good as them. Im not sure Ive come across that attitude anywhere else other than the church which is why the whole 'perfection' and 'sinners' theory really doesnt work for me. I feel happier and freer knowing I am actually a good person and not a weak and feeble sinner. Ive literally had to keep telling myself Carrie, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON!" because i felt how you said for so long and saw myself as less of who I really am. But if ure happy with that then i suppose its your choice :)

I felt the same way as your brother-in-law. Except that I was not active and wouldn't comeback because I thought that everyone in the church was perfect, and that it was no place for a sinner like me. I soon realised that no one is perfect. Everyone is working on something and is at a different place in their spirituality. As soon as I recognised that, going to church was much easier, accepting what the leaders said was more rewarding, and my life turned around. Everyone is different & NO one is perfect.

[Kathie26]

It's great to have you back. :)