What is important for a new member?

[Giuseppe]

New members need three thing, according to President Hinckley:

a friend, a responsibility, and spiritual nourishment.

I remember my time as a new member in Italy. How important were these three things for me, and I can't say that one was more important than the other two.

Perhaps, however, without a friend, nothing else can really move forward in the life of a new member.

[Elizabeth]

Working in the Relief Society and being a part of a ward that includes numerous converts from the inner city, is quite an eye opener. Our ward is quite different from the 'normal' LDS congregations. I have had to learn a tremendous amount of patience with those coming from a different walk of life which many times includes addictions of every kind and a tremendous amount of dysfunction in their families.

When we can immediately get those baptized members working as visiting/home teachers, then it makes it much easier for them. When the member is baptized, I make sure that that there is a visiting teacher assigned and present at the baptism as well as the visiting teacher assigned to be her partner for the next 1-6 months. The route will include 2 active members and 1 less active member. The convert will be trained by her partner to pray, prepare a lesson and learn the Lord's wisdom in having the visiting/home teaching program.

There are times that no matter what we do, we cannot hold on to our new convert, but at least we are trying to do everything to make it happen.

I know that there are probably other things that have worked for other wards/branches and it would be of great help for me if someone would share their ideas.

[Jeny]

I'm a "new" convert of three years. What kept me faith full as Satan attacked and I started to get discouraged was the sense of family that I felt in my ward. I was shown the love and I felt it. there was the night that the relief society ladies all gathered outside of my balcony window with candles in their hands singing songs of encouragement. and the time the I heard a knock on my door, when I answered it, nobody was there, but there were six bags of groceries sitting there. Or the time that we opened our door to fond our whole door completely covered in crape paper and balloons and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY sign above it. Or when I was in the hospital with pneumonia...The ladies cleaned my whole house including the microwave, fridge and toilets...then plastered paper hearts all over my walls all through the house with verses and encouraging sayings. Then when I got home...they brought over meals and the priesthood brought the sacrament to ME the first two weeks that I couldn't go to church!!

That's not to mention the time I had mt heart attack or the many other instances, just tonight...I just got home from the Hill Cumora Pageant, I live an hour away from the Hill...I have no car, I have been a member 3 yrs, this is the sixth time I've seen the Pageant...someone ALWAYS offers to take us!!!

There were time when I felt like giving up, It would have been a lot easier if the ladies in the relief society would have left me alone!! I even told them that one Sunday!! I said, sometimes I wish you ladies DIDN'T love me so much!! It's hard to fall away when I am so darned MISSED when I don't come to church!!!

...I LOVE my ward:)

[Moksha]

Did anyone mention the importance of a good internet forum?

[Jeny]

Actually, I was warned to stay away from the Internet forums...but I believe that this site has the potential to be a good site. We just need to work together to help keep it a healthy place for fellow Mormons to hang out. I love coming on-line and finding brothers and sisters in Christ...I don't get much fellowship in the real world as I don't have a car and most of the members of my ward do not live close and they have their own lives. I do get to hang out with them sometimes, though. I went shopping with a nice lady in my ward today and we discussed the unpleasant experience I ran into on-line with anti's...I am feeling much better now after talking to her. She has a strong testimony of this church. That is what I need...fellowship with good strong, faithful members...I think I will like this site, after all!!/smile.gif

[Moksha]

Originally posted by Yediyd;151

...I think I will like this site, after all!!/smile.gif

Yediyd, I am glad that the fellowshipping helped you. The internet is an excellent source for knowledge and friendship for those homebound or mobile. Sharing good feelings and spiritual nourishment together is always helpful.

Two additional sources are the Fellowship Board at Mormon Apologetics and Discussion, and the Mormon Boards: Learn About Mormonism, Mormon Fellowship and Mormon Issues at Beliefnet.

http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/discussion...sp?boardID=4512

http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/discussion...p?boardID=22134

[Jeny]

I have that MADB board in my favorites, but I haven't really checked it out, yet...I like my first site: ldstalk...and I am going to put energy into this site...that is enough for now, I am a single mother, too...I have responsibilities off the computer....for now...two is plenty for me.

[Guest Purple Smidgen]

Originally posted by Moksha;105

Did anyone mention the importance of a good internet forum?

I like this forum because I can come up here and ask questions that I don't feel comfortable asking to the missionaries...and quite frankly...these boys seem kind of young and inexperienced....they are nice boys, but I would like to talk to older members of your church and this is a good place for me to start. I did check out those other sites...but I'm kind of needing to slow down a bit with all this. I have filled my head with lots of questions to ask the missionaries when they come back!! That's a good thing, right?

[Jeny]

Yes, that is a good thing and don't underestimate those "boys", they are young, but they are doing what the lord has called them to do. He is directing them and they have the Holy Spirit to guide them as well. May I ask, How are you comming in you Book of Mormon? It is important to gain your own testimony...read, and pray about it. I believe you are on the right tract...but don't take my word for it....Take the Lords.

[emeliza]

I have been a member for a little over a year now. I worked with the missionaries for four years before joining. What has kept me in is the fellowshipping. I also am a single parent of two little ones and it is really hard to get everything done and fulfill all that is expected of me or required of me. There have been many times where I just wanted to give up. Not because I don't believe, but because I don't have the energy. So far every time I am at my wits end God sends someone or something to help me. I definitely think fellowshipping is the biggest part....actually having people who care about you....and not just care about you until you are in the Church, but even once you have been there awhile. Of course part of fellowshipping means I need to do it back. I need to find people who need me as much as I hope people who I need are there.

[Jeny]

I have been a member for a little over a year now. I worked with the missionaries for four years before joining. What has kept me in is the fellowshipping. I also am a single parent of two little ones and it is really hard to get everything done and fulfill all that is expected of me or required of me. There have been many times where I just wanted to give up. Not because I don't believe, but because I don't have the energy. So far every time I am at my wits end God sends someone or something to help me. I definitely think fellowshipping is the biggest part....actually having people who care about you....and not just care about you until you are in the Church, but even once you have been there awhile. Of course part of fellowshipping means I need to do it back. I need to find people who need me as much as I hope people who I need are there.

I have to say that my ward REALLY poured it on when I first joined!! I got visits, phone calls, invited to dinner...all kinds of stuff...but since I started teaching Sunday school and am no longer in the relief society and am no longer a "new" convert...I have faded off and blended in. Our ward is the Stake center and we have over 500 members...it is a big ward and there are very few single mothers, I think there is one other than me and two widows...the rest are busy families who just don't relate to us single sisters. Especially since my son is autistic.

[Deborah]

I have to say that my ward REALLY poured it on when I first joined!! I got visits, phone calls, invited to dinner...all kinds of stuff...but since I started teaching Sunday school and am no longer in the relief society and am no longer a "new" convert...I have faded off and blended in. Our ward is the Stake center and we have over 500 members...it is a big ward and there are very few single mothers, I think there is one other than me and two widows...the rest are busy families who just don't relate to us single sisters. Especially since my son is autistic.

It is definitely hard being part of a big ward. I've always liked small branches. I'm in a ward now that is so big and has split so many times I don't know anyone, besides which I'm in the Nursery, which I love btw. I encourage you to go to the RS activities as much as possible. That's where you really get to talk to and know people. I was a single parent with 4 children, the youngest which was 4 when I became single, so I can relate. See if there is a singles group in your stake where you can go out with other singles as a group. I belonged to a great singles group that pretty much formed on it's own. We were all from different wards and stakes. We did things as families too as we all had kids. It's hard but it's worth it to try to find others who you can at least talk to on the phone.

[Jeny]

It is definitely hard being part of a big ward. I've always liked small branches. I'm in a ward now that is so big and has split so many times I don't know anyone, besides which I'm in the Nursery, which I love btw. I encourage you to go to the RS activities as much as possible. That's where you really get to talk to and know people. I was a single parent with 4 children, the youngest which was 4 when I became single, so I can relate. See if there is a singles group in your stake where you can go out with other singles as a group. I belonged to a great singles group that pretty much formed on it's own. We were all from different wards and stakes. We did things as families too as we all had kids. It's hard but it's worth it to try to find others who you can at least talk to on the phone.

There is not a singles group for over 30 yet, but there is a lady who is trying to get one started. Then there is the problem that I am still married to my cheating husband!! I am only seperated from him...no divorce...yet.

[Deborah]

There is not a singles group for over 30 yet, but there is a lady who is trying to get one started. Then there is the problem that I am still married to my cheating husband!! I am only seperated from him...no divorce...yet.

But there's nothing wrong with hanging out with single sisters, who can offer a lot of consolation and sympathy. Is there any reason you aren't divorced? Rhetorical question because I don't expect an answer to something so personal, but it might be something to move forward with.

[Jeny]

But there's nothing wrong with hanging out with single sisters, who can offer a lot of consolation and sympathy. Is there any reason you aren't divorced? Rhetorical question because I don't expect an answer to something so personal, but it might be something to move forward with.

I just have not been motivated to get the divorce...I feel like he was the one who broke the marriage vows, HE should pay for the divorce!! He likes things the way they are because he can blame me for why he cannot marry the girlfriend. She has had a child with him and wants to marry him, but he uses me as an excuse why he cannot. I figure, if I meet someone worth my heart again...I will then take the time to get my divorce, but for now...I don't even feel very attractive and I am so overwhelmed with raising my "special" son, that I have not even seriously thought about a new relationship...I just joke about it a lot!!

[Jigglysaint]

New converts need to be treated with the same respect that lifelong members teach each other(okay maybe they deserve better than THAT). Since converts are adopting the Church as their own, that means they become full fledged family members that shouldn't be caste by ordinances, priesthood, or temple worthiness. While the couple who were married in the temple lay claim to some very special blessings, that shouldn't mean they deserve to be treated with more respect than a couple who were married first then joined, or for the spouce of a person who did not decide to convert and hence cannot obtain temple blessings.

If there is one mistake I regret about my early years in church, was that I did not take the calling of Hymnbook Monitor seriously enough. I guess I didn't feel it was very important, and that it was just a "make work" job. I struggle with laziness though, so I know I will be accountable for my snobbery. I hope God can forgive me for this.

One thing I am very grateful for was that two families were there for me during my early years as a member. They still are too, although in less frequency. I've even worked with one guy to help him on some construction projects. Of course every new member needs a good member family to help them out. Also I think generally speaking, the congregation should have a forgiving heart if somebody does somthing not in line with Ward Customs, like help himself to the Sacrament while passing it rather than waiting to be given it(BIG oops there). Persons like myself who are not used to structured social settings may not quite get it at first.

[Moksha]

Once missionaries get new members to Church there are many things that can help keep them there. As has been mentioned, spiritual nourishment is foremost. Friendship is also a critical ingredient. Inspiring talks and lessons is another, although I realize the inherent problems here with a lay ministry - hopefully the other elements will compensate.

[Jeny]

Yeah, now that I have had time to think about it...I need to retract something that I said earlier...I DO have a family that I fellowship with. The husband and wife are always there for me if I need a ride to the store or Dr. appointment.( I do not have a car) So, I have no right to say that I don't fellowship with folks from my ward, as I do...I just don't really "hang out" with any of them...our lifestyles are still so different. I am still relatively new to this church, (three years) and I am a single mother of an autistic son. I have no car, or "job". I too, am disabled. My disability is not obvious (Fibromiagia) So, I sometimes think that people do not take it seriously. I am continually "encouraged" to find work that I can do...I feel judged because I am not self-sufficient, I think that is a factor in why I am no longer as "popular" as I was when I first joined this church. I'm just one of the many ward members, now. People are still nice...but I live a separate life from everybody else, and I crave fellowship...I believe that is why I am attracted to this board.

[Lightbearer]

New members need three thing, according to President Hinckley:

a friend, a responsibility, and spiritual nourishment.

I remember my time as a new member in Italy. How important were these three things for me, and I can't say that one was more important than the other two.

Perhaps, however, without a friend, nothing else can really move forward in the life of a new member.

All three are critical to developing our full potenial as a Latter-day Saint. Friendship is one of the fundementals of what Mormonism is all about according to the Prophet Joseph. Without friends and family all would be in vain. The other two points are very important as well, we need to serve our brothers and sisters which is a natural outgrowth of friendship, we also learn to love whom we serve. And without spiritual nourishment we will spiritually starve to death. The scriptures and the words of the living prophets is the "iron rod" which we must cling to in order to make it to the tree of life which represents the "love of God" and all of these help us on our journey to "endure to the end."

[emeliza]

I just don't really "hang out" with any of them...our lifestyles are still so different. I am still relatively new to this church, (three years) and I am a single mother of an autistic son. I have no car, or "job". I too, am disabled. My disability is not obvious (Fibromiagia)

I think one of the most important aspects is to become self-suffient in making friends. Being a single parent as well, I definitely know the Church is hard for us, but not impossible. What I try to do is sit by new people or people I don't know as well from time to time. Not every week because my 3 year old drives me batty, but at least once a month I try to sit near someone else.

The next thing is to invite someone or a couple or a family over for dinner sometime. Dinner and a game night is always fun. We play Uno and Yahtzee and well I have a ton of games, but generally it ends up being one of the generic type games. You can make it a potluck or a picnic as well so that all the food/work isn't on your shoulders. Or just invite people to go to a park with you or fly a kite or something simple like that. You would be surprised how much fun the simple things can be.

[Moksha]

I'm just one of the many ward members, now. People are still nice...but I live a separate life from everybody else, and I crave fellowship...I believe that is why I am attracted to this board.

In some Churches such as the United Methodists, whenever they identify a problem area such a inadequate fellowshipping for special interests groups, such as the disabled or frail elderly, they will from a task force to study the problem and make helpful suggestions to the ministers. I don't know it there is any mechanism in the LDS Church to ever address such concerns. Without giving me an apologetic answer that we never have had any problems, does a mechanism exist to ever study a problem and come up with a solution?

[poulsenll]

In some Churches such as the United Methodists, whenever they identify a problem area such a inadequate fellowshipping for special interests groups, such as the disabled or frail elderly, they will from a task force to study the problem and make helpful suggestions to the ministers. I don't know it there is any mechanism in the LDS Church to ever address such concerns. Without giving me an apologetic answer that we never have had any problems, does a mechanism exist to ever study a problem and come up with a solution?

Yes, It is called the PEC. There is a PEC at the Ward level and at the Stake level. In each of the priesthood quorums there are standing commitees whose responsibility is to examine the needs of the Ward and especially the needs of new members, single brothers and sisters, widows, the elderly and any group with special needs. The Bishop also has the authority to form special committees to examine special problems. Unfortunately, as with a lot of committee based activity, there is usually a lot of study but few workable solutions. Mainly because workable solutions require somebody to get out there and do some actual work. Also, we don't have paid ministers to do the work for us.

Larry P

[Maya]

I think the new member has to be stubborn! So stubborn that he/she comes to church EVERY Sunday, even though one not really feels for it.... Once he/she has felt the spirit and decided that the church is true nothing in the world should be able to shake that foundation! Church is not about friends it is about gospel. Gospel gives friends....

[Jeny]

I think the new mwmber has to eb stubborn! So stubborn that he/she comes to church EVERY Sunday, even though one not really feels for it.... Once he/she has felt the spirit and decided that the church is true nothing in the world should be able to shake that foundation! Church is not about friends it is about gospel. Gospel gives friends....

That is what I did. Church was the only place where I felt like I was where I belonged. I love the Lord and the Bible and did long before I converted to LDS...It was not hard to want to stay faithful once I decided that this church was true...I feel like I have come home at long last, and I felt that way almost from the very first day...I never looked back!!!

[Maya]

That is what I did. Church was the only place where I felt like I was where I belonged. I love the Lord and the Bible and did long before I converted to LDS...It was not hard to want to stay faithful once I decided that this church was true...I feel like I have come home at long last, and I felt that way almost from the very first day...I never looked back!!!

YEP!