Interesting How Things Work Out....

[Kate]

It's been a hard week. My mother's husband of thirty years (not our father) passed away unexpectedly. We had the funeral yesterday. We are rallying around my mom and because we are all so close, she will do just fine...in time. I am the only active member of my family...my brother and sisters fell inactive as teens, my mother fell inactive due to marrying my father who was a proclaimed atheist(but now believes in God), and I am the only one who, after a small falling away, is very active and have been for the past 24 years.

This week though has turned out interesting. My mother has decided that she wants to turn her life around and come back to church. She wants to do this and then eventually have the work done for her husband who passed, so they can be sealed together. I am thrilled that after all these years, she would want to do this. One of my sisters has also decided to come back to church.

All of this I am happy with, however, it poses a question in my mind. I had always thought that when my mother and father passed, that I would do the work for them so that all of us children could be sealed to them. My mother's second marriage was a volatile one, he drank and was abusive to her, but it seems that in the last year, they mellowed out in that regard. But it left us without a relationship with him whatsoever.

So, if she does do all of this and becomes sealed to her second husband, and when my real father passes and I do the work for him (understanding that he must accept it there), then where does that leave us? We would not be able to be sealed to our mother? I'm pretty confused by all of this....any help with understanding would be appreciated.

~Kate

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

It's been a hard week. My mother's husband of thirty years (not our father) passed away unexpectedly. We had the funeral yesterday. We are rallying around my mom and because we are all so close, she will do just fine...in time. I am the only active member of my family...my brother and sisters fell inactive as teens, my mother fell inactive due to marrying my father who was a proclaimed atheist(but now believes in God), and I am the only one who, after a small falling away, is very active and have been for the past 24 years.

This week though has turned out interesting. My mother has decided that she wants to turn her life around and come back to church. She wants to do this and then eventually have the work done for her husband who passed, so they can be sealed together. I am thrilled that after all these years, she would want to do this. One of my sisters has also decided to come back to church.

All of this I am happy with, however, it poses a question in my mind. I had always thought that when my mother and father passed, that I would do the work for them so that all of us children could be sealed to them. My mother's second marriage was a volatile one, he drank and was abusive to her, but it seems that in the last year, they mellowed out in that regard. But it left us without a relationship with him whatsoever.

So, if she does do all of this and becomes sealed to her second husband, and when my real father passes and I do the work for him (understanding that he must accept it there), then where does that leave us? We would not be able to be sealed to our mother? I'm pretty confused by all of this....any help with understanding would be appreciated.

~Kate

The way I understand it is that a lady can only be sealed for all time and eternity to one husband. Here in mortality or in the next life.

That does not negate the fact that your biological (assuming biological meaning your mothers first husband) could not have the endowments taken out on his behalf after he passes on (and does not accept the gospel in this life).

So, to answer your question, from what I have understood is that a woman can only be sealed to one man. However, a man could be sealed to more than one woman. Meaning, if you had a step mother who passed away and your biological father decided to return back to the Church and want to be sealed to your deceased step mother, he could, and if your biological mother passed away or returned back to the church and wanted to be sealed to your biological mother, then he could do this also.

I hope that answers your question.

[Jeny]

The way I understand it is that a lady can only be sealed for all time and eternity to one husband. Here in mortality or in the next life.

That does not negate the fact that your biological (assuming biological meaning your mothers first husband) could not have the endowments taken out on his behalf after he passes on (and does not accept the gospel in this life).

So, to answer your question, from what I have understood is that a woman can only be sealed to one man. However, a man could be sealed to more than one woman. Meaning, if you had a step mother who passed away and your biological father decided to return back to the Church and want to be sealed to your deceased step mother, he could, and if your biological mother passed away or returned back to the church and wanted to be sealed to your biological mother, then he could do this also.

I hope that answers your question.

This is such a "tender" spot with me!! I am trying hard to just trust G-d and know in my heart that he loves me and is a fare, just and loving G-d...but my inner feminist keeps SCREAMING out: "injustice and sexist!!"

...I know that this is MY problem...but I still struggle with it!!!

[Kate]

I do understand how that works, my problem is that if all of us siblings want to be sealed together with our mom, and she has chosen to be sealed to her second husband, then that would mean we would have to be sealed to him. However, if I have done the work for my biological father and marry him to his second wife and seal us to them...(of course, this is all if they accept it in the hereafter) then we won't be sealed to our biological mother, who is the one we have a wonderful relationship with. We have had absolutely NO relationship with either of the second spouses, infact, both second spouses have been very negative problems in our lives....ah...this is so confusing....I guess I just need to not worry about it for now. But it does make my head hurt ;-)

Yediyd,

I agree...but I fully believe that we women will be so tremendously blessed for having had to put up with so much from husbands (ok, I know not all the guys are a pain) that I really don't worry about not being able to be sealed to more than one...haha...one is enough!

[MorningStar]

Hi Kate,

I'm sorry about the death of your step-father. Someone told me years ago that the sealing "follows the mother". No matter what happens, things are going to work out. I heard that when sealings are done by proxy now, the women are sealed to everyone they were married to while they were alive. I guess they'll choose who they want to be with.

[Guest Iggy]

For my ancestors I have sealed all the marrieds together so that the children can be sealed to their biological parents. That means that Aunt Sue was sealed to all four of her husbands so that all 12 of her children can be sealed to her and their respective father.

If your Family History Consultant at the Ward level can not help you, go to the Stake Family History Consultant. If it were me, I would wait until both my birth parents have passed, then have them sealed together so that I could be sealed to them, and at the same time seal them to their parents and deceased siblings, etc.,etc.

[Sheelah]

If your mother follows through, then be sealed to her and trust in the Lord to make all things right in the end. I think we tend to stress too much over stuff like this and not have faith that our Father knows and understands our concerns.

[Jeny]

To be honest, I still don't fully understand this sealing process! I have never been sealed to anybody and niether has anyone in my family. I feel like it is wrong that I have to be married to be sealed to my kids, What if I never find a mate? And why do we need to be sealed, why can't we just find each other again in the afterlife? What is the point of sealing? It all gets so complicated and confusing, especially in my situation where all of my siblings have different fathers and mothers. (My father was married 5 times, my mother was married 4 with children resulting from all of these marriages...I don't even have a CLUE how to sort it all out!!!)

[Guest prnldsfrms]

The church has certain procedures, but it is hard to find any definitive doctrine. I have a testimony that we do not fully understand how this sealing power works in the unique situation in which you find yourself (which, we know is different from how Heavenly Father established families to be). And I have an absolute testimony that He lives, knows each of us personally, and loves us and will not deprive innocent people from the blessings that they are denied because of others' choices. And because of that, I am persuaded that it matters less who your parents are sealed to as spouses than it does that you are sealed to one of them and therefore have the blessings of that sealing covenant. I have a testimony that children will be able to associate with both righteous parents, however they are ultimately related to each other.

[Jeny]

The church has certain procedures, but it is hard to find any definitive doctrine. I have a testimony that we do not fully understand how this sealing power works in the unique situation in which you find yourself (which, we know is different from how Heavenly Father established families to be). And I have an absolute testimony that He lives, knows each of us personally, and loves us and will not deprive innocent people from the blessings that they are denied because of others' choices. And because of that, I am persuaded that it matters less who your parents are sealed to as spouses than it does that you are sealed to one of them and therefore have the blessings of that sealing covenant. I have a testimony that children will be able to associate with both righteous parents, however they are ultimately related to each other.

I just do not understand seelings or the importants of them, yet...I was abused by my parents, I do not wish to spend eternity with the people who hurt me. (Even if they DO change)

[Connolly]

The way I understand it is that a lady can only be sealed for all time and eternity to one husband. Here in mortality or in the next life.

Thats not quite correct. Women can be, and frequently are, sealed to more than one husband after they pass on.

Kate, if your mom does follow through and you later do the work for your father, when the time comes to do the work for your father discuss it with your ward temple work specialist. If he can't help you then discuss it with the temple presidency. It will be possible for you to be sealed to your father.

The important thing to keep in mind about sealing covenants is the covenant itself. Its the covenant that matters, not whom it was made with.

[Jeny]

Thats not quite correct. Women can be, and frequently are, sealed to more than one husband after they pass on.

Kate, if your mom does follow through and you later do the work for your father, when the time comes to do the work for your father discuss it with your ward temple work specialist. If he can't help you then discuss it with the temple presidency. It will be possible for you to be sealed to your father.

The important thing to keep in mind about sealing covenants is the covenant itself. Its the covenant that matters, not whom it was made with.

Nobody has ever explained these covenants with me...I am endowed, but I know very little about sealings...please, what am I missing?

[imported_Elphaba]

Nobody has ever explained these covenants with me...I am endowed, but I know very little about sealings...please, what am I missing?

I'd tell you, but then I'd get kicked off the board!

LOVE YOU YEDIYD!

Elphaba

[Kate]

Thank you all of you for your responses. I guess it's one of those things that I will leave to faith. I do know that Heavenly Father will see to it that it all works out right in the end. Ultimately, what matters most to me right now is that my children are sealed to me....so I'll leave the rest to my Father in Heaven. Yediyd, don't hesitate to ask questions in the temple. Some of the most profound teachings have come to me in the temple...I think I will ask there as well. Connolly, thanks, your answer was very helpful!

[Josie]

Thank you all of you for your responses. I guess it's one of those things that I will leave to faith. I do know that Heavenly Father will see to it that it all works out right in the end. Ultimately, what matters most to me right now is that my children are sealed to me....so I'll leave the rest to my Father in Heaven. Yediyd, don't hesitate to ask questions in the temple. Some of the most profound teachings have come to me in the temple...I think I will ask there as well. Connolly, thanks, your answer was very helpful!

Kate,

So you have the correct answers, call your local temple or go and talk to a member of the presidency or the temple coordinator. They have a book with all the rules and what can and can not be done.

I know that after both of your parents die, you can have them sealed together. Then you and your siblings can be sealed to them. Then all of you that accept the gospel and are worthy to make the choice to be together in the Celestial Kingdom will have that opportunity. The children generally follow the father of the family, because of the Priesthood authority in the sealing. But, all things will be made right in the millenium (sp).

Do the work, when you can, and leave the rest in the Lord's hands. He will take care of you and your family.

(note: I have two sons that have passed away and I have had their work done for them, but cannot have them sealed to me, because my ex is alive and left the Church, rather than loosing his membership, so I trust the Lord to help me have them with me someday. If my ex dies, I am not even sure I can have them sealed to him and me since he left the church. The Lord will take care of it.)

Josie

[Kate]

Kate,

So you have the correct answers, call your local temple or go and talk to a member of the presidency or the temple coordinator. They have a book with all the rules and what can and can not be done.

I know that after both of your parents die, you can have them sealed together. Then you and your siblings can be sealed to them. Then all of you that accept the gospel and are worthy to make the choice to be together in the Celestial Kingdom will have that opportunity. The children generally follow the father of the family, because of the Priesthood authority in the sealing. But, all things will be made right in the millenium (sp).

Do the work, when you can, and leave the rest in the Lord's hands. He will take care of you and your family.

(note: I have two sons that have passed away and I have had their work done for them, but cannot have them sealed to me, because my ex is alive and left the Church, rather than loosing his membership, so I trust the Lord to help me have them with me someday. If my ex dies, I am not even sure I can have them sealed to him and me since he left the church. The Lord will take care of it.)

Josie

Thanks Josie!

I do trust the Lord as well, I'm sure that He will take care of you and your sons. I'm sorry you have had to go through all of that.

[DrewM]

Thats not quite correct. Women can be, and frequently are, sealed to more than one husband after they pass on.

Kate, if your mom does follow through and you later do the work for your father, when the time comes to do the work for your father discuss it with your ward temple work specialist. If he can't help you then discuss it with the temple presidency. It will be possible for you to be sealed to your father.

The important thing to keep in mind about sealing covenants is the covenant itself. Its the covenant that matters, not whom it was made with.

Connolly is correct. A women who has been married more than once can be sealed to all of her spouses after she and they are all dead.

[LdsNana]

Connolly is correct. A women who has been married more than once can be sealed to all of her spouses after she and they are all dead.

Drew,

I thought I had heard it all. Please find reference or history to confirm this please. I believe it could be done, knowing full well these glitches in the sealing chain, will be solved during the Millenium. But, for my own curiosity, you must confirm that this does happen. If so, this is sort of a positive thing, but people must realize that a decision must ultimately be made on how this sealing then rest, for eternity.

Women still, may only be sealed to one husband, for time and all eternity! This is only done, to be sure, so that the work on paper and physically is done for these individuals, but they will still need to determine on the other side of the veil, which one... over there, will actually get honored.

Drew, if you cannot confirm this with Connolly, then all of us must research these claims and consider the information void, until further confirmation is made.

Thanks guys.

[DrewM]

Drew,

I thought I had heard it all. Please find reference or history to confirm this please. I believe it could be done, knowing full well these glitches in the sealing chain, will be solved during the Millenium. But, for my own curiosity, you must confirm that this does happen. If so, this is sort of a positive thing, but people must realize that a decision must ultimately be made on how this sealing then rest, for eternity.

Women still, may only be sealed to one husband, for time and all eternity! This is only done, to be sure, so that the work on paper and physically is done for these individuals, but they will still need to determine on the other side of the veil, which one... over there, will actually get honored.

Drew, if you cannot confirm this with Connolly, then all of us must research these claims and consider the information void, until further confirmation is made.

Thanks guys.

It is in the church handbook of instructions. I do not now have a copy since I am no longer in the Bishopric. However, I can confirm it is indeed in the handbook.

Sorry, I can't do better than that.

[DrewM]

It is in the church handbook of instructions. I do not now have a copy since I am no longer in the Bishopric. However, I can confirm it is indeed in the handbook.

Sorry, I can't do better than that.

I found an unauthorized copy online.

A deceased woman may be sealed to all men to whom she was legally married during her life. However, if she was sealed to a husband during her life, all her husbands must be deceased before she can be sealed to a husband to whom she was not sealed during life.

This is, as far as I can tell, exactly what the handbook does say. It is in line with what I remember and I believe it to be accurate.

[LdsNana]

Nobody has ever explained these covenants with me...I am endowed, but I know very little about sealings...please, what am I missing?

Hi Yeidyd,

So glad to see you back. Just a personal note -- love the writing on your blog!

Now, let me just give you a simple bit of information, that hopefully will help somewhat...

What we are working to accomplish, in sealing husband and wives together and with their children, is but the organizing of families, ultimately all the way back to Adam... and then Adam of course to Jesus Christ. This must be done, and is the great finishing work of the Millennium. This because many records are not available at this time...

This must be done legally and by God's law. Thus, Elijah returned to the Kirtland Temple to turn the Key of Power and Authority in the Priesthood, that would authorize the President of the Church, to then seal or bind all saving ordinances, not only here, but in Heaven.... confirming them legal. The president of the church may authorize whom the Lord would then have, to exercise this sealing authority on behalf of God.

What will this enable us in doing, as families and also as individuals by tracing our roots and connecting ourselves and families, in this orderly way,... all the way back to Jesus Christ?

Jesus Christ, through His Atoning sacrifice and ultimate resurrection, received all that the Father has. Jesus Christ is our Savior, Redeemer, mediator, and judge... and we are promised that through Him, we may also have this same inheritance, which is our birthright.

This is all about a legal inheritance for those Saints, who enter into the Covenant to receive Jesus Christ, keep His commandments and claim that restoration of their birthright, which Jesus Christ did redeem, for all those that come unto Him. This can only be claimed according to law, in legally proving their right. It is only through a legal line of righteous priesthood authority, which has also been sealed by the power of God, wherein they have entered into the New and Everlasting Covenant... that an individual then qualifies for this blessing from God.

It is this verification that is necessary and according to the Laws of Heaven, whereby individuals may return back into the Presence of God and Receive all that He, Jesus Christ, did inherit regain, through the Atonement.

This is all about 'law and order' according to Righteousness.

I hope this is helpful and not more confusing.

So our sealings back to Jesus Christ, will continue from our righteous keeping of these covenants and in order of a priesthood line that is also righteous... continuing all the way back.

You may be sealed to your two parents as a child, and this is how you as the individual will trace your claim, if you are worthy. But if a girl then has herself sealed to a man, who is also sealed to his parents.... she will now then transfer her line to claim the inheritance, first to her husband's family line, or if that dies out... she may even possibly return and make claim through her own father or mother once again... both if they are still sealed or first the patriarchal line... father, and then next her mother...

Just repeat this pattern to see how the line of authority travels... first patriarchal where righteousness is maintained, then to the mother's family line of the patriarchal order in the priesthood. When unrighteousness cause an individual to lose their inheritance, they are just simply passed by according to this pattern.

For example, children who are sealed to parent who do not keep their covenants, will either marry, or make claim through the next in their family lineage that will be righteous or receives their temple work. This is why the millennium is considered the finishing work. Can you imagine what it will take to set the family of God, in order?

[jadams_4040]

It's been a hard week. My mother's husband of thirty years (not our father) passed away unexpectedly. We had the funeral yesterday. We are rallying around my mom and because we are all so close, she will do just fine...in time. I am the only active member of my family...my brother and sisters fell inactive as teens, my mother fell inactive due to marrying my father who was a proclaimed atheist(but now believes in God), and I am the only one who, after a small falling away, is very active and have been for the past 24 years.

This week though has turned out interesting. My mother has decided that she wants to turn her life around and come back to church. She wants to do this and then eventually have the work done for her husband who passed, so they can be sealed together. I am thrilled that after all these years, she would want to do this. One of my sisters has also decided to come back to church.

All of this I am happy with, however, it poses a question in my mind. I had always thought that when my mother and father passed, that I would do the work for them so that all of us children could be sealed to them. My mother's second marriage was a volatile one, he drank and was abusive to her, but it seems that in the last year, they mellowed out in that regard. But it left us without a relationship with him whatsoever.

So, if she does do all of this and becomes sealed to her second husband, and when my real father passes and I do the work for him (understanding that he must accept it there), then where does that leave us? We would not be able to be sealed to our mother? I'm pretty confused by all of this....any help with understanding would be appreciated.

~Kate

Really sorry to hear about this in your life right now, And i would probably think that right now is not the time to stress about it. Right now everbody in your family has differant emotional thoughts going on, and as you are the only worthy member, that makes it kinda like a responsibility that needs to hurry up and get done? I have found that not stressing and trying to learn about excatly what can or cannott be done and taking all the time to do it is the best thing. The excact same {almost} situation is my family too, and i am the only worthy member now as well, in fact the only member period, all my brothers and sisters have gone E.V. I have learned so much by being patient. And besides it sounds as there is always the possibility of your mother when and if she actually gets back to the church in full force, {theres always a question because of emotional feelings right now}. that she will maybe not want after all to be married to her second husband? Maybe give her some time to see. It will work out to what the lord wants to happen, and you "will" be happy and understand in time as to why God has challenged you with this problem. you will have understanding and it will most likely become a great blessing for you and your family, I dont know just how it will be a blessing, but i really beleive it will be.

:)

[Kate]

Really sorry to hear about this in your life right now, And i would probably think that right now is not the time to stress about it. Right now everbody in your family has differant emotional thoughts going on, and as you are the only worthy member, that makes it kinda like a responsibility that needs to hurry up and get done? I have found that not stressing and trying to learn about excatly what can or cannott be done and taking all the time to do it is the best thing. The excact same {almost} situation is my family too, and i am the only worthy member now as well, in fact the only member period, all my brothers and sisters have gone E.V. I have learned so much by being patient. And besides it sounds as there is always the possibility of your mother when and if she actually gets back to the church in full force, {theres always a question because of emotional feelings right now}. that she will maybe not want after all to be married to her second husband? Maybe give her some time to see. It will work out to what the lord wants to happen, and you "will" be happy and understand in time as to why God has challenged you with this problem. you will have understanding and it will most likely become a great blessing for you and your family, I dont know just how it will be a blessing, but i really beleive it will be.

:)

Thank you for your sweet comments. :)

[LdsNana]

I found an unauthorized copy online.

This is, as far as I can tell, exactly what the handbook does say. It is in line with what I remember and I believe it to be accurate.

Thanks Drew... you are a good research man. You too Connolly.... And the secret book even.... Whoa! LOL

Not to brag, but I got to touch one... once.

When my hubby was bishop, I never thought it was such a big deal... but now ten years later and everyone is sooooo secretive about the content... it is a crack up. The Church goes after any website posting the 'book'. They actually went to court to protect the rights of the church and our copyright... so that it could not be posted online, as it used to be all over the place. I have often wondered why they do not do this with the endowment ceremony???

Funny how we just know when we hear something that is most likely true, but I still needed confirmation on that one. Now the big questions will be... do we actually believe in plural marriage in re-verse??? lol Some women would love that you know?

But honestly, can you imagine what a hoot this would be up in heaven... einie meinie minie mo... which of my husbands now must GO? LOL

What if a girl just can't decide... considering the fact that she has now forgiven them all and forgotten all the bad stuff?

Sorry but it is late and I am just being silly!

[LdsNana]

It's been a hard week. My mother's husband of thirty years (not our father) passed away unexpectedly. We had the funeral yesterday. We are rallying around my mom and because we are all so close, she will do just fine...in time. I am the only active member of my family...my brother and sisters fell inactive as teens, my mother fell inactive due to marrying my father who was a proclaimed atheist(but now believes in God), and I am the only one who, after a small falling away, is very active and have been for the past 24 years.

This week though has turned out interesting. My mother has decided that she wants to turn her life around and come back to church. She wants to do this and then eventually have the work done for her husband who passed, so they can be sealed together. I am thrilled that after all these years, she would want to do this. One of my sisters has also decided to come back to church.

All of this I am happy with, however, it poses a question in my mind. I had always thought that when my mother and father passed, that I would do the work for them so that all of us children could be sealed to them. My mother's second marriage was a volatile one, he drank and was abusive to her, but it seems that in the last year, they mellowed out in that regard. But it left us without a relationship with him whatsoever.

So, if she does do all of this and becomes sealed to her second husband, and when my real father passes and I do the work for him (understanding that he must accept it there), then where does that leave us? We would not be able to be sealed to our mother? I'm pretty confused by all of this....any help with understanding would be appreciated.

~Kate

Kate,

I too am sorry to hear about your mother's loss. Yes, it is amazing how things work out in life. You know, so many wait for just exactly what you are experiencing with your mother and sister...

With what Drew and Connolly have now confirmed, it seems that you will be able to seal your mother to your father as you had always planned. But this may need to wait until all have passed, so that nobody has their feelings hurt. In this way, you will definitely have sealings through one of their family lines of priesthood. It just looks like it will require a bit more patience on your part.

You never mentioned whether you are sealed to a husband yourself? But of course if this is the case, then you may claim your blessings through your husband's family... and this is how it should be for a woman. Hopefully you are more at peace with this situation and can now just enjoy the workings of God in your family. This truly is wonderful overall you know?

And again, another example of how God uses opposition to bring about His work.