Hello Folks!

[CourtneyP]

Hello everyone. I have just recently found this forum and decided to join it. My name is Courtney and I am an inactive member. I was baptized back on September 22, 1996. I was so happy in the church! The spirit was strong in my life and I finally felt like my search for the one true church was over.

When I turned 18 the following year (and was in the middle of my senior year of high school) I was moved out of the Young Women's program and into the Relief Society. I felt very uncomfortable in there, surrounded by these women who were all more than 5 years older than me. They were all talking about how to be a good wife and mother. And I hadn't even graduated yet! It felt very weird. After high school my Bishop suggested that I go to the singles ward, one hour east of where I lived. Well at the time I was commuting to college, which was a half hour west of where I lived. I really saw no sense in having to go to the singles ward. Besides, I wasn't ready for marriage. I wanted to go to school and graduate and get my teaching degree in music education. I politely declined his request to go to the singles ward and let him know that I was not interested in rushing into marriage or having kids. Strangely enough, a few weeks later he came to me with a calling in the church nursery of all places. I figured I would try it, so here I am, 18 years old and working in the nursery. I spent a couple of months there and just never did feel comfortable. It felt to me that their whole motive behind it was to make me learn to adore babies and want to go get married and start creating my own.

During this time I began dating a guy named Adam, who was in the band with me at college. He was my same age and we got along great! He also knew of my LDS beliefs and never tried to pressure me into anything that would compromise my chances of visiting the temple. Well my friends back at church learned that I was dating a non-member and they discussed this with the Bishop. The next week he asked me to see if Adam would come to the church and meet with him. So I talked to Adam and he agreed. We went to the church on a Saturday evening and the three of us talked with the Bishop. The entire conversation was about Adam's beliefs and if he ever thought he would convert to the church. After we left, Adam told me that he was uncomfortable with my church and would never set foot in there again. And the following day at Sacrament meeting the Bishop pulled me aside and strongly advised me to stop seeing Adam.

I felt that who I dated was no one's business but my own and ended up just stopping attending church. I never went back after that Sunday. Adam and I married 5 years later but the marriage was shot lived. We did produce our daughter and a year after her birth I divorced him for reasons that I will not go into on this board. We worked out all our issues and parted on good terms for the sake of our daughter, who we decided would remain with him since I had decided to move 1800 miles away. I left Georgia and moved to Fargo, North Dakota.

I have since met and married a wonderful man named Thomas and we are expecting our first child together. Thomas knows of my beliefs in the church and he knows why I chose to leave the first time. Although I physically stopped going, I never stopped believing in the church doctrines and the majority of my beliefs are still LDS. I have tried other religions but nothing filled my heart with the spirit like the LDS church did, in spite of my differences in opinions with the Bishop. However, in looking back on the situation, I believe the Bishop was right. I think he was being led by the spirit to tell me that Adam would do me no good in the long run and to turn from him. But I was a stubborn teenager who thought that I knew everything. In looking back I wish I had listened to my Bishop and stopped dating Adam before things got serious. He was right and he was trying to get me to do what would have been best for me. I know that now, 10 years later. I just wish I could go back and listen to his advice. It would have spared me YEARS of pain and grief, really.

Now for my current situation. Since moving to North Dakota, I have gotten involved in paganism. Yeah, witchcraft. I know, not the wisest choice to make, really. My husband and I are members of a pagan coven that meets at my house. And all of our friends (except for one lady) are all pagans as well. I have mentioned my desire to return to the church to my husband once and he said he'd prefer for me to remain pagan. As I look back I realize that I turned from my beliefs to satisfy a man once and it ended up really screwing up my life. I can't do this again. So I am looking for advice on how to leave paganism and return to the church without destroying my perfectly happy family. I adore my husband and do not want to ever lose him. My hopes are that someday he will want to go to church with me. But if he doesn't I will be just fine with him being accepting of my choice to go and not try to stop me.

Sorry for this being so long, but I think I just had to vent and get it all out. Any advice ytou have will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Courtney

[Dr. Mom]

Hello everyone. I have just recently found this forum and decided to join it. My name is Courtney and I am an inactive member. I was baptized back on September 22, 1996. I was so happy in the church! The spirit was strong in my life and I finally felt like my search for the one true church was over.

When I turned 18 the following year (and was in the middle of my senior year of high school) I was moved out of the Young Women's program and into the Relief Society. I felt very uncomfortable in there, surrounded by these women who were all more than 5 years older than me. They were all talking about how to be a good wife and mother. And I hadn't even graduated yet! It felt very weird. After high school my Bishop suggested that I go to the singles ward, one hour east of where I lived. Well at the time I was commuting to college, which was a half hour west of where I lived. I really saw no sense in having to go to the singles ward. Besides, I wasn't ready for marriage. I wanted to go to school and graduate and get my teaching degree in music education. I politely declined his request to go to the singles ward and let him know that I was not interested in rushing into marriage or having kids. Strangely enough, a few weeks later he came to me with a calling in the church nursery of all places. I figured I would try it, so here I am, 18 years old and working in the nursery. I spent a couple of months there and just never did feel comfortable. It felt to me that their whole motive behind it was to make me learn to adore babies and want to go get married and start creating my own.

During this time I began dating a guy named Adam, who was in the band with me at college. He was my same age and we got along great! He also knew of my LDS beliefs and never tried to pressure me into anything that would compromise my chances of visiting the temple. Well my friends back at church learned that I was dating a non-member and they discussed this with the Bishop. The next week he asked me to see if Adam would come to the church and meet with him. So I talked to Adam and he agreed. We went to the church on a Saturday evening and the three of us talked with the Bishop. The entire conversation was about Adam's beliefs and if he ever thought he would convert to the church. After we left, Adam told me that he was uncomfortable with my church and would never set foot in there again. And the following day at Sacrament meeting the Bishop pulled me aside and strongly advised me to stop seeing Adam.

I felt that who I dated was no one's business but my own and ended up just stopping attending church. I never went back after that Sunday. Adam and I married 5 years later but the marriage was shot lived. We did produce our daughter and a year after her birth I divorced him for reasons that I will not go into on this board. We worked out all our issues and parted on good terms for the sake of our daughter, who we decided would remain with him since I had decided to move 1800 miles away. I left Georgia and moved to Fargo, North Dakota.

I have since met and married a wonderful man named Thomas and we are expecting our first child together. Thomas knows of my beliefs in the church and he knows why I chose to leave the first time. Although I physically stopped going, I never stopped believing in the church doctrines and the majority of my beliefs are still LDS. I have tried other religions but nothing filled my heart with the spirit like the LDS church did, in spite of my differences in opinions with the Bishop. However, in looking back on the situation, I believe the Bishop was right. I think he was being led by the spirit to tell me that Adam would do me no good in the long run and to turn from him. But I was a stubborn teenager who thought that I knew everything. In looking back I wish I had listened to my Bishop and stopped dating Adam before things got serious. He was right and he was trying to get me to do what would have been best for me. I know that now, 10 years later. I just wish I could go back and listen to his advice. It would have spared me YEARS of pain and grief, really.

Now for my current situation. Since moving to North Dakota, I have gotten involved in paganism. Yeah, witchcraft. I know, not the wisest choice to make, really. My husband and I are members of a pagan coven that meets at my house. And all of our friends (except for one lady) are all pagans as well. I have mentioned my desire to return to the church to my husband once and he said he'd prefer for me to remain pagan. As I look back I realize that I turned from my beliefs to satisfy a man once and it ended up really screwing up my life. I can't do this again. So I am looking for advice on how to leave paganism and return to the church without destroying my perfectly happy family. I adore my husband and do not want to ever lose him. My hopes are that someday he will want to go to church with me. But if he doesn't I will be just fine with him being accepting of my choice to go and not try to stop me.

Sorry for this being so long, but I think I just had to vent and get it all out. Any advice ytou have will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Courtney

Courtney-

I wish there was an easy answer for you. In the end you need to do what your heart says is right. If your husband truly loves you no matter what he'll understand your need to come back to church. It may take him some time to understand, but with prayer and faith he can learn to accept the happiness that awaits you in being active in church again. It's going to be easier said than done and Satan knows your weaknesses, but I can promise you that it is well worth the fight. It's not too late. Making that first step back will be your hardest. You can do this! WE MISS YOU!

[HiJolly]

Hello everyone. I have just recently found this forum and decided to join it. My name is Courtney and I am an inactive member. I was baptized back on September 22, 1996. I was so happy in the church! The spirit was strong in my life and I finally felt like my search for the one true church was over.

Welcome! So glad to meet you.

Now for my current situation. Since moving to North Dakota, I have gotten involved in paganism. Yeah, witchcraft. I know, not the wisest choice to make, really. My husband and I are members of a pagan coven that meets at my house. And all of our friends (except for one lady) are all pagans as well. I have mentioned my desire to return to the church to my husband once and he said he'd prefer for me to remain pagan. As I look back I realize that I turned from my beliefs to satisfy a man once and it ended up really screwing up my life. I can't do this again. So I am looking for advice on how to leave paganism and return to the church without destroying my perfectly happy family. I adore my husband and do not want to ever lose him. My hopes are that someday he will want to go to church with me. But if he doesn't I will be just fine with him being accepting of my choice to go and not try to stop me.

Sorry for this being so long, but I think I just had to vent and get it all out. Any advice ytou have will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Courtney

So, do you know there is truth in paganism? I hope so, else I would wonder why you participate. Most LDS don't know much about paganism and its ties to Christianity, and so get weirded out and don't want to talk about it. Plus some wiccans & such are a bit off-the-mark in what they are seeking from the experience, and that can cause trouble. Have you seen Gaia's posts here? She's a cool Mormon person who knows a bit about Wicca .

HiJolly

[CourtneyP]

Welcome! So glad to meet you.

So, do you know there is truth in paganism? I hope so, else I would wonder why you participate. Most LDS don't know much about paganism and its ties to Christianity, and so get weirded out and don't want to talk about it. Plus some wiccans & such are a bit off-the-mark in what they are seeking from the experience, and that can cause trouble. Have you seen Gaia's posts here? She's a cool Mormon person who knows a bit about Wicca .

HiJolly

Hi there! :)

Yes, I know there is some truth in paganism. There is some truth in every religion that exists. I believe that every religion out there has some aspects of the truth. However, there is truly only one church that can be the "one true church." And once you find it you've got to stick with that one.

I've not read any of Gaia's posts yet. I just found this board a little over an hour ago and there are hundreds of posts for me to read. But I will keep my eyes open.

Thanks!

Courtney

[siouxz72]

Welcome Courtney! I hope you find what you're looking for. I also hope you know that you can come back to church at any time. Your ward would love to meet you! :) Have a great day, girlie!

-siouxz

[HiJolly]

Hi there! :)

Yes, I know there is some truth in paganism. There is some truth in every religion that exists. I believe that every religion out there has some aspects of the truth. However, there is truly only one church that can be the "one true church." And once you find it you've got to stick with that one.

I've not read any of Gaia's posts yet. I just found this board a little over an hour ago and there are hundreds of posts for me to read. But I will keep my eyes open.

Thanks!

Courtney

You are welcome! I hear ya about sticking to the Church. It is only because of Heavenly Father's insistence that I remain within the bounds that He has set, that I feel confident in the spirit to receive truth from many sources. By keeping my baptismal & temple covenants He gifts me with discernment that is the key to understanding everything.

Thank God for the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

HiJolly

[the_jason]

I'm not sure if this is churchwide, but in our ward the Relief Society and the YW meet together for a few minutes for announcements and such, similar to what the brethren do. They also recite the RS and YW themes together. They do a few activities together during the year as well. It's a great way to get the YW familiar with RS instead of just tossing them in there when they graduate. It's worked well.

[MorningStar]

Welcome, Courtney! I hope you will make a smooth transition back into the church while keeping your family happy. I don't really know much about paganism. What is it exactly?

[CourtneyP]

Welcome, Courtney! I hope you will make a smooth transition back into the church while keeping your family happy. I don't really know much about paganism. What is it exactly?

Paganism is a following of the gods of the old times before Christianity. The Greek gods, the Egyptian gods, the Norse gods, etc. Choose your own pantheon. It doesn't matter which one. Any god is welcome except the Christian one it seems.

[NeuroTypical]

I have gotten involved in paganism. Yeah, witchcraft. I know, not the wisest choice to make, really.

Oh, I dunno. I've met dozens of pagans, and I have never met a mean one. I don't know much about it, so maybe you'll let me ask the obvious stupid question: So, are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Welcome to the board!

LM

[Guest AutumnBreez]

Welcome!

Courtney,

You know that this life is only temporary. When are you going to go home to Heavenly Father??

We don't know this of course... but if we look at how long people live we take for granted the day we have today, and tend to procrastinate. It may take time for your husband to accept you going back to the Church, a little longer for him to join you. It is going to be through you and your happiness coming back. (Caution hard days ahead-keep praying!!!) You know your on the right track when things get tough...always shaky before the finish line. Remember to endure to the end. I am on the same train as you right now. I have come back after 12 years and husband has said he is glad I have found something to make me happy, but don't expect him to join me anytime soon, more or less. It will take time, I am not giving up, keeping the faith.

You are young and maybe have put a bit more faith in (especially non member) men you come to like, depending on them to give you love and support, it seems tangible, and temporarily fulfilling until....??? I have been the same way in my youth, and this method has not worked in the long run. Sacrafice and compromise needs to come from both in a relationship, not just one same person. Set some Eternal goals and see them happen.

Heavenly Father and Christ are forever.

Again think....temporary vs. Eternity

We were given choices, the bad ones are really bad if we don't learn and grow, return back to good choices.

You never fail till you stop trying-

Forgive yourself and get back to Church! Love, lots of love to you Courtney!

[CourtneyP]

Oh, I dunno. I've met dozens of pagans, and I have never met a mean one. I don't know much about it, so maybe you'll let me ask the obvious stupid question: So, are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Welcome to the board!

LM

*LOL* Always good. My group never even tries to work the evil stuff. No thanks. It not our style.

And thanks! I'm glad to be here.

[Guest AutumnBreez]

In life, in general.... I wonder how much we should play in such places as

'Park Not hurting anyone'

For record...Not judging, just thinking, wonder how much we put ourselves in harms way with this type of thinking.

"Well it makes sense, or its entertaining, and its not hurting anyone", are we setting habits that could prove dangerous in other areas?? Interesting....it just made me wonder how much we do this in a day with family, friends, music, etc.

[Garden Girl]

Hello Courtney... and welcome...

So many peope here are familiar with my "reactivation story" I almost hate to mention it yet again, however, when I read your post I could relate to much of your experience...

I was 19, had just come home from BYU to take a summer job before returning to school when I met and fell in love with a wonderful non-LDS man... my parents were very upset but of course I turned aside all counsel... we eloped to Las Vegas and were married. It took my folks quite some time to accept my hubby, but once they allowed themselves to really know him they came to love him also. Of course they wished he was LDS, but they did not pressure or push. It was not long before I slipped into inactivity, although hubby had nothing against the Church. It was just easier and we traveled a lot, etc. I lived a very good, comfortable life, and stayed close to the Church in a number of ways because of my folks... and I, too, retained threads of my testimony of the gospel. This went on for over 30 years... finally in April 1995 I was watching April conference on TV and the Spirit just tugged at my heart and I wept because I knew I should return to Church... so I told my husband, and he was supportive even though he was not interested in the Church for himself... That August, my mom had a massive heart attack as we were bringing her and my dad up here to Oregon for a visit. I held her in my arms and as I saw the light go from her eyes, I knew she was going through the veil. It was as if someone took a bucket of the coldest ice water and threw it in my face... I did an about face... while I stayed with my dad for a month to help him adjust, etc., I went to Church with my dad for the first time in all those years. It was like coming home. When I returned to my own home I sat down with my husband and told him I needed to return to Church and he again encouraged me... and the next week I walked through the door of my Lincoln City, OR ward... and the rest is history... My testimony came roaring back stronger than ever and I've never looked back. My husband would not join me in my faith but he was so good about my activity, including becoming endowed in the temple.

The only thing he did say to me one time was that I wasn't as much "fun" anymore But, he always supported me.

Now he is gone and I've been widowed nine years next month... We never had children and though I'm alone I don't feel alone because of all my dear friends in my ward.

I can only say to you, that I think you should not wait any longer... if I were you, I'd sit down with my husband, take him by the hands, look him in the eyes, tell him how much I loved him, and that I was feeling prompted in my heart to return to Church, and that I'd like his support. Then simply start living the gospel... go to your local ward...study, fast, pray... but don't push your husband, simply live by example. He may not choose to attend with you for some time, if ever. Neverthless, you can live the gospel in a cheerful, loving way that does not make him feel awkward. And who knows, because of your example and the "spirit" that will shine forth from you, he may decide he wants to attend... if so, all the better.

Welcome to the board... and all good wishes...

from the beautiful central Oregon coast...The Garden Girl

[CourtneyP]

Your story is amazing Garden Girl! Wow! Still, I am sorry for the loss of your mom and your husband. I am glad that you were able to return to the church and how blessed you are. I can only pray that I will be just as blessed in my return as well.

I am planning on sitting down with my husband and discussing it with him tonight. I didn't want to do it last night because I am unsure of what his reaction is going to be and I didn't want to risk him having a rough day at work because his mind was on our conversation rather than his job. So I will tell him tonight and that way he has the weekend to sort it all out in his head before going back to his job on Monday. Either way, I am going to my new ward this Sunday morning at 9:30AM. That's when Sacrament meeting starts and the rest of after that. I just hope that people don't make judgments based on the fact that I'll be there and pregnant and no man with me.

[Guest AutumnBreez]

Your story is amazing Garden Girl! Wow! Still, I am sorry for the loss of your mom and your husband. I am glad that you were able to return to the church and how blessed you are. I can only pray that I will be just as blessed in my return as well.

I am planning on sitting down with my husband and discussing it with him tonight. I didn't want to do it last night because I am unsure of what his reaction is going to be and I didn't want to risk him having a rough day at work because his mind was on our conversation rather than his job. So I will tell him tonight and that way he has the weekend to sort it all out in his head before going back to his job on Monday. Either way, I am going to my new ward this Sunday morning at 9:30AM. That's when Sacrament meeting starts and the rest of after that. I just hope that people don't make judgments based on the fact that I'll be there and pregnant and no man with me.

No special order--

* They won't know you and your history, you don't owe anyone a full blown explaination except to your Bishop, as you must remember... this is to help in full repentance, and to heal!

* If you really need to say anything, tell others in short- that you have been inactive for sometime, made a few bad choices, and prompted to come back, husband is a non-member and hope that in time he will be prompted to take discussions and join. This will just mean more prayers for you and your family. Not judgements--They will welcome you!

* If you are alone and have a ring on your left ring finger they will probably first assume that unborn childs father/he is inactive or non member. Remember they don't know your history.

* Don't worry too much about judgements and what others think, that will be on their heads for any negativity/judgement.

* Pray-Pray-Pray Communication is key. Get closer with prayer.

* Listen and obey the sweet whispers.

You will be fine Courtney, be very thankful for the Atonement. He is gracious and merciful and ready to take you into His arms!

[siouxz72]

Your story is amazing Garden Girl! Wow! Still, I am sorry for the loss of your mom and your husband. I am glad that you were able to return to the church and how blessed you are. I can only pray that I will be just as blessed in my return as well.

I am planning on sitting down with my husband and discussing it with him tonight. I didn't want to do it last night because I am unsure of what his reaction is going to be and I didn't want to risk him having a rough day at work because his mind was on our conversation rather than his job. So I will tell him tonight and that way he has the weekend to sort it all out in his head before going back to his job on Monday. Either way, I am going to my new ward this Sunday morning at 9:30AM. That's when Sacrament meeting starts and the rest of after that. I just hope that people don't make judgments based on the fact that I'll be there and pregnant and no man with me.

Courtney,

Good luck with tonight! Please let us know how it goes. I hope people would be kinder than to pass any sort of judgement on you because the important thing is that you're at church! :)

take care!

-siouxz

[CourtneyP]

Thanks! I will definitely be talking with my husband tonight and going to the new ward on Sunday morning. I look forward to it!~ :)

[fish4kitty]

I'll keep you in my prayers that all will go well with everthing going on in your life. Not going to be easy but you will be o.k. I'm pullin for ya.

f4k

[ztodd]

Hi there! :)

Yes, I know there is some truth in paganism. There is some truth in every religion that exists. I believe that every religion out there has some aspects of the truth. However, there is truly only one church that can be the "one true church." And once you find it you've got to stick with that one.

I've not read any of Gaia's posts yet. I just found this board a little over an hour ago and there are hundreds of posts for me to read. But I will keep my eyes open.

Thanks!

Courtney

You can use that truth that's found in paganism as a key in keeping your family happily together - focus on the truths that are common between your husband and the church. Show him you support him in his continually seeking for truth. Prayerfully look for the right times and the right ways to invite him to different church activities. Consider organizing a little family home evening lesson if he will support you with that, or possibly joining another family in the church for their family home evening.

I join the ranks in praying for your family that things will turn out well for you all. :)

[CourtneyP]

Well I talked to my husband about it. He's very skeptical but he said he'd actually go with me tomorrow when I go. I was rather surprised but yet pleased at the same time. He said he wanted to go observe to see what it was like. I just pray that he will keep an open mind while there.

[CourtneyP]

Due to him not getting home until nearly 2AM the night before we overslept and didn't quite make it in. I was quite bummed out that we didn't make it to town for church. But next week for sure! He doesn't have to work next Saturday night so there's no chance of us missing it.

[Guest AutumnBreez]

Due to him not getting home until nearly 2AM the night before we overslept and didn't quite make it in. I was quite bummed out that we didn't make it to town for church. But next week for sure! He doesn't have to work next Saturday night so there's no chance of us missing it.

Bummer...

Be sure to set that alarm clock Saturday morning after you get up so you have it ready for Sunday morning.

[CourtneyP]

Definitely. Waking up usually isn't a problem for me husband. He's usually "early to bed and early to rise" due to his typically early morning work schedule. But he worked the late shift on Saturday night and didn't get in until super late.

[Guest AutumnBreez]

Definitely. Waking up usually isn't a problem for me husband. He's usually "early to bed and early to rise" due to his typically early morning work schedule. But he worked the late shift on Saturday night and didn't get in until super late.

Your obviously on the right path for your interest in coming back to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,

see you have already caused great distress on the ol satan that he

left a trail of doo doo droppings..............................................< see