Can I still go to the temple?

[seriousneedofhelp]

i was sent home from my mission after 6 months due to health reasons. I had a lot of mixed emotions about it because I felt so sure that I was supposed to be out there, then when I got home I felt like I really needed to stay and attend BYU, which was never apart of my original plan. So I moved to Provo. 

Since being up here, I have struggled with keeping a relationship with Him because I have felt a lot of resentment, frustration, sadness, confusion, and many more feelings. I have a hard time reading scriptures, praying, reading my partriarchal blesings, attending the temple, etc. I go to church every week and share my thoughts because I have a testimony. BUT I think a lot of my issues come from me feeling like I disappointed God. 

Since being up here, I have never really struggled with sexual sin. But its ROUGH here in Provo. I definitely went a little far, touching sacred places (with clothes). I repented to my bishop once, then a month later I relapsed. I have a new bishop now. But when I repented the first time, my bishop asked me a bunch of uncomfortable questions. I didn't have any punishments, and he just told me to figure it out with God, but I was very brief about describing what had happened even though he asked. 

I get really uncomfortable when asked those prying questions. Is that something I need to swallow my pride for? I love the gospel, and KNOW my Savior can help me, I just have a fear of discomfort and fear of being judged & those are both definitely going on in the bishops office lol. I have since stopped sinning, and I am working on consistently reading and praynig and putting myself within the realm of the Spirit. 
 

Basically the question is... if EVERY time I have repented to the bishop, he told me to work it out with God, if I have forsaken the sin and am striving to do better do I need to still repent (in detail) to the bishop? Is it possible to be forgiven of sexual sins by yourself? What is the point of going to your bishop? 

 

I dont want to mock God, I don't want to justify my sins. But to be honest, I don't think I can take embarrassing myself in front of my new bishop, when it isn't who I am anymore. 

[pam]

There are a couple of the temple recommend questions that I feel you would have a hard time denying.  I'd say talk to your new Bishop no matter how difficult. 

[zil2]

1 hour ago, seriousneedofhelp said:

What is the point of going to your bishop? 

The bishop holds keys which can help you.  If you were not forthcoming with the first bishop, he may not have understood the seriousness of the situation or the depth of your need for help.

1 hour ago, seriousneedofhelp said:

Is that something I need to swallow my pride for?

Yes.  How do you repent without coming "down to the dust in humility"?  Serious question.  Repenting is an admission of sin and pleading for the Savior to take away that sin.  How does one consider the suffering our Savior endured in the garden and again on the cross - for that very sin - without being humbled?

1 hour ago, seriousneedofhelp said:

Basically the question is... if EVERY time I have repented to the bishop, he told me to work it out with God, if I have forsaken the sin and am striving to do better do I need to still repent (in detail) to the bishop?

The fact that you are asking, and the rest of the discomfort you express in your post answers the question - you have not yet fully repented and you are suffering for it.  I predict that if you are honest and open - hiding nothing (remember, it's Satan's idea to hide sin) - you will then feel like a burden has been lifted and make some real progress toward forgiveness.  And who knows, your new bishop may be better able to help you than the first (even if only through your courage to confess all).  Even if he's not, please be humble and brave - go see they priesthood key-holder who can help you.

My final bit of advice is to study what the Book of Mormon (it specifically) has to say about repenting, forgiveness, and the Savior - there is power in the Book of Mormon - study it daily - regardless of the cost.

[Carborendum]

2 hours ago, seriousneedofhelp said:

I repented to my bishop once, then a month later I relapsed.
 
if EVERY time I have repented to the bishop

do I need to still repent (in detail) to the bishop?

I realize this may simply be your choice of words.  But there is a very important principle that I need to emphasize.  We don't "repent" to the bishop.  We "report" to the bishop.

Repentance is a process of you choosing to look to Christ rather than look to sin. And by looking to Christ, you may obtain that part of the Atonement which you need to overcome your sin and return to him.  With more serious sins, it is probably going to be a longer process than with less serious sins.

The reason we report to the bishop is that we need to basically apologize to everyone whom we've offended with our sin. 

• Some sins are slight enough that it really is just between you and the Lord.
• Some sins must include apologizing and making restitution to those whom we have offended.
• Some sins are serious enough that a great process will be required (like therapy or such) in order to effect a change in our hearts.
• The reason why we report to the bishop is that the nature of the sin is such that one party we have hurt is "the body of the Church."  And in order to apologize, we don't make it a public spectacle to report and confess your sins to the entire ward or stake.  We report it to a representative of the Church.  And in the case of our system, that representative is the bishop.

So, the last two bullet points are when you include the bishop.