Problems Focusing

[Guest tomk]

This is not very flattering to say this about myself, but it is something that has been bothering me for quite some time, and I wanted to find-out if others have struggled with this same thing, and if they can offer any advice or talk about how they overcame this or improved.

What I am going to describe is probably something a lot of people struggle with.

I am exposing my soft underbelly here, so be gentle, please. Be direct and honest -- just also be considerate. :)

I'll begin with giving my performance at work as an example.

I work as a software developer.

Whenever I am faced with something that is extremely challenging (mentally) at work, or when I am faced with something that is tedious but necessary, I am often tempted to want to do SOMETHING ELSE instead of the task at hand.

Usually that SOMETHING ELSE is to come here to LDS Net, and read / respond to posts. I have a few other forums I check as well.

Now, frequenting and posting on forums is, I think, a wholesome activity, done in moderation.

But my concern is -- I am doing it in order to avoid the unpleasantness I face at work sometimes.

I'll state the obvious -- this impacts my productivity at work.

I do have days where the work is interesting to me, and I am hard-pressed to tear myself away. I love those days!

But I can't remain this way. I know that I need to work consistently whether or not the work itself is stimulating or boring, easy or difficult.

Let's stop at this point and see if anyone has any comments.

[Alaskagain]

The simple solution is to not access this site while you are at work.

[WillowTheWhisp]

I know what you mean. Sometimes I know I should be ironing but I'm posting on forums instead. I decided to tell myself off and get the work done first, then have a little interlude where I allowed myself to do something unproductive, then work, then interlude and so on.

[Guest tomk]

The simple solution is to not access this site while you are at work.

True!

That takes care of the "avoidance" -- but what about what's behind it?

[THIRDpersonviewer]

This is not very flattering to say this about myself, but it is something that has been bothering me for quite some time, and I wanted to find-out if others have struggled with this same thing, and if they can offer any advice or talk about how they overcame this or improved.

What I am going to describe is probably something a lot of people struggle with.

I am exposing my soft underbelly here, so be gentle, please. Be direct and honest -- just also be considerate. :)

I'll begin with giving my performance at work as an example.

I work as a software developer.

Whenever I am faced with something that is extremely challenging (mentally) at work, or when I am faced with something that is tedious but necessary, I am often tempted to want to do SOMETHING ELSE instead of the task at hand.

Usually that SOMETHING ELSE is to come here to LDS Net, and read / respond to posts. I have a few other forums I check as well.

Now, frequenting and posting on forums is, I think, a wholesome activity, done in moderation.

But my concern is -- I am doing it in order to avoid the unpleasantness I face at work sometimes.

I'll state the obvious -- this impacts my productivity at work.

I do have days where the work is interesting to me, and I am hard-pressed to tear myself away. I love those days!

But I can't remain this way. I know that I need to work consistently whether or not the work itself is stimulating or boring, easy or difficult.

Let's stop at this point and see if anyone has any comments.

Haha, I have the same issue. Except it is with school. I stopped coming on for awhile because I knew I would get sucked on. Like yesterday, I went to school(last day of classes:)) then I came home and from about 1:00 PM to 1:00 AM I was on, except when I had dinner, went to scouts for my calling, and talked with my mom about some stuff going on in my life, and then family prayer and scriptures. The rest of my time was literally on here and I only got off, because it seemed like nobody else was on. This used to happen all the time.

Now for the most part I come on when I just need a temporary distraction. To relieve stress, or to give myself some mental exercise.

I think the biggest thing is discipline. Say I will not spend more than an hour on lds.net, or whatever. And then do what you say. The Lord will bless you for persevering through your work. I have the same feelings about school. I love it at times, but other times I just hate it. However I have had to buckle down the last couple weeks and I haven't studied the Gospel too much, but I know I have been blessed because that was what I was supposed to be doing.

I think it says somewhere in D&C, There is a time and a Season for all things. That means there is a certain time to be doing certain things. For example, now is the time for me to work out my Salvation in this life, not in the next.

[crytsprospect]

Have similar problems I think in general for me its satan's way to keep me completing my tasks. Its the nature of man to want to do the easy thing. I try to use this site and my online activities as a reward for doing the things I don't want to do. I do 15 to 30 minutes of yucky work and reward the same with my online stuff. I was told once to get the unpleasant stuff done right away and enjoy the rest of the day. I try but don't always achieve . I think for me it is one of those growing things I will overcome someday. :}

[Hemidakota]

Tom, I personally believe that we all face this problem daily. What is considered the focal point within our intelligence is being driven to the surface daily. That is where we maximize our effort on. At times, we just want to sit and learn much as possible on a single topic and not bother to anything else. I do this at various times…my wife harps on me about this. I would learn something, report back with information to a point of overwhelming saturation,

I am a system/test engineer by trade. There has been days, I would put in 18-hours and other days, just plain zilch. What I had found, it goes back to my first statement. Now, my old bosses knew how I perform and what to expect from my deliverables. For me, when reviewing priesthood/temple questions for Elder or higher, one of those questions, at times is very hard for me to answer about work.

How do we overcome it? Change jobs? Change our focal point? Make preparation prior to work, in telling ourselves – “I will be advantageous person today.” Say that, seven times a day for the next 21-days. LOL

Now, if I could slow down my learning curve, put down the non-fictional books, stop watching more than a few blog windows at once, delete the incoming 'herd' of e-mails, and just focus on my grammar and spelling, I will be advantageous person today. Tom, this is my weakness and never afraid to admit it. I have a hard time listening to [my dearest friend] Hugh, when he started the class, then figuring out at the end of class, what information did he pass. Now, I have one of his grandkid as a member recruit.

Tom, do you find at times, when giving a talk, you start to ramble in a variable circle on different topics and end up on the same talk topic when finishing? This model annoys my beloved companion.

Thanks Tom, you are truly a great friend.

[Gwen]

is it just that it's boring or is there some particularly stressful aspect to it?

i find when things in my life get more stressful than i can handle i tend to frequent the site and other online sources more. kinda an escape for me. avoid my real life or avoid my problems by chatting with others about theirs. i'm good at avoidance and procrastination. lol

as far as solutions..... not sure i have many suggestions. lol sometimes i have to make it a nusiance to turn on the computer, that helps keep me away, but i am good at finding other things to fulfill the same purpose.

cafinated sodas actually help me. i don't normaly drink sodas with caffine and when i feel like my nerves are on overload and i can't keep up i find having some helps. (good for pms too but i'm sure that's not a problem of yours lol) not sure it would work if you consume a lot already. i respond pretty quickly to it. also not sure how much of it has to do with my ADD.

[Guest tomk]

Tom, I personally believe that we all face this problem daily. What is considered the focal point within our intelligence is being driven to the surface daily. That is where we maximize our effort on. At times, we just want to sit and learn much as possible on a single topic and not bother to anything else. I do this at various times…my wife harps on me about this. I would learn something, report back with information to a point of overwhelming saturation,

I am a system/test engineer by trade. There has been days, I would put in 18-hours and other days, just plain zilch. What I had found, it goes back to my first statement. Now, my old bosses knew how I perform and what to expect from my deliverables. For me, when reviewing priesthood/temple questions for Elder or higher, one of those questions, at times is very hard for me to answer about work.

How do we overcome it? Change jobs? Change our focal point? Make preparation prior to work, in telling ourselves – “I will be advantageous person today.” Say that, seven times a day for the next 21-days. LOL

Now, if I could slow down my learning curve, put down the non-fictional books, stop watching more than a few blog windows at once, delete the incoming 'herd' of e-mails, and just focus on my grammar and spelling, I will be advantageous person today. Tom, this is my weakness and never afraid to admit it. I have a hard time listening to [my dearest friend] Hugh, when he started the class, then figuring out at the end of class, what information did he pass. Now, I have one of his grandkid as a member recruit.

Tom, do you find at times, when giving a talk, you start to ramble in a variable circle on different topics and end up on the same talk topic when finishing? This model annoys my beloved companion.

Thanks Tom, you are truly a great friend.

and just focus on my grammar and spelling

Thank you for your private reply. I understand you better now and it won't bug me. Thank you for not taking offence.

Tom, do you find at times, when giving a talk, you start to ramble in a variable circle on different topics and end up on the same talk topic when finishing?

It's impossible for me to talk about something without rambling. My mind goes in 100 directions. This is a double-edged sword. There's things I love about it...and things I don't love about it. Drives my wife to derision, I think.

I will prepare a talk for Church and go through a constant revision process until up to the point I actually give the talk. I see ways I can say something better, or reduce my words, or WHATEVER. I like this about myself, actually.

Thanks Tom, you are truly a great friend.

Thank you. I feel the same way about you, and several other people on here that I have talked to, even, and maybe especially, the ones I rub the wrong way or have gotten into it with them on occassion. :)

[Guest tomk]

is it just that it's boring or is there some particularly stressful aspect to it?

Yes, and yes. :)

i find when things in my life get more stressful than i can handle i tend to frequent the site and other online sources more. kinda an escape for me. avoid my real life or avoid my problems by chatting with others about theirs. i'm good at avoidance and procrastination. lol

"kinda an escape for me."

And for me as well.

as far as solutions..... not sure i have many suggestions. lol sometimes i have to make it a nusiance to turn on the computer, that helps keep me away, but i am good at finding other things to fulfill the same purpose.

cafinated sodas actually help me. i don't normaly drink sodas with caffine and when i feel like my nerves are on overload and i can't keep up i find having some helps. (good for pms too but i'm sure that's not a problem of yours lol) not sure it would work if you consume a lot already. i respond pretty quickly to it. also not sure how much of it has to do with my ADD.

I wonder if I have ADD?

Or something else medically that does not let me focus?

Or am I just procrastinating and lazy?

[Hemidakota]

No problem...:)

Even during one of my UCSD hay days, I gave a talk on how nuclear devices work and was told to not 'go beyond 15-minutes'. LOL Well, thirty minutes later and answering student questions, the teacher was so enthuse with the talk; she failed to stop me on time. Score? A++…didn’t know if there was such a grade. LOL

Yes...there are great people here from all walks or cultures of life. I just marvel.

[skalenfehl]

I have this problem big time. I need to be very structured or I tend to be very easily distracted and pulled in many directions at once. There are online tests to determine if you have Adult ADD. I've been this way my whole life.

I've taken two different tests before and one indicates that I do have it and another had indicated that I don't have a strong tendency to have it. I definitely show some of the signs, though.

[SMG]

I know what you mean about your focus wandering. Mine does it quite often. I usually get that way when I'm bored or burnt out. Assignments from class that would only be 15-20 minutes tops to complete can take me an hour or more if I can't focus! Even something as simple as reading a chapter in a text book becomes tedious and time-consuming!

I find that getting angry at myself isn't helpful. I just try to break down the "yucky" task that I can't focus on into smaller steps. Do 2 or 3 steps, take a break, do 2 or 3 more, etc. I also find that "bribing" myself with a reward for also works. Just be sure to only reward yourself AFTER the job is done. Those are just my 2 bits, I hope it helps!

[Alaskagain]

The simple solution is to not access this site while you are at work.

True!

That takes care of the "avoidance" -- but what about what's behind it?

Does it matter what is behind it?

If you are paid by the hour, and you have unfinished work to do, you are stealing your employer's time if you are accessing personal websites at work, including retrieving your personal email.

If all work is completed, and your employer knows it, and he is paying you to sit at your desk and do nothing productive, then it is perfectly okay to access personal websites at work. Or you could solve a crossword puzzle, or read a book, or make personal phone calls, or knit.

However, if you are paid by project completion, that is a different matter. Then you are stealing from yourself, as you are delaying completion of your task and compensation for your family's support.

:)

[Gwen]

it does matter what is behind it. sometimes it's not something you can control. you can attemt to manage and some days are far better than others but it's not in your control. knowing that helps a lot. it's hard to deal with life when you think you are just a lazy..... rather than saying "ok, my (for me ADD) is on overload today and i need to work harder or differently" one is depressing the other is empowering. one leaves you feeling out of control while the other allows you to take control.

something else i do when my mind is out of control and i can't focus. i give my brain something to do but not so important or big that it demands focus. sometimes my brain just needs more to do; i'm distracted from my task cause i need one more thing going on. i know it sounds like a contridiction but that's how it works. the problem comes when i feed it the wrong things. sometimes when my kids are out of the house i find my brain with not enough to do. i'm not going in 4 directions anymore keeping track of the kids and my brain gets bored, starts looking for things to process. if i get on the computer (always multitasking and why i love chat so much) it's definately something to do but it's too stimulating and then i get lost in it and don't get the other things i need to done. if i turn on something trivial, like the radio or the tv, something non demanding (for me blues clues or the sort that i'm used to hearing with the kids lol) then my brain has something to process but it doesn't take any focus or energy to process it. it doesn't engage me, it's just there. in essence i'm controling the distraction, i decide how much focus it gets rather than letting my brain decide. cause lets face it if my brain gets to decide there are a lot more things that are more entertaing to process than the dishes or laundry. once there are enough menial distractions i can focus on the important thing i was trying to do. however, if you're not ADD i'm not sure adding distractions would work so well. lol and even with ADD it can get to a point where there are to many distractions.

[Guest tomk]

Thank you, Gwen, and the others who have taken time from their busy days to post their thoughts and ideas.

I really appreciate all the viewpoints that have been expressed. I'll need some time to ponder it and extract from these posts the "truth" that is "for me." Does that make sense?

[DigitalShadow]

As a fellow software developer, I can tell you that I struggle with the same issues. I have spent a bit too much time at this forum during work lately and it started to effect my performance and so I am trying to cut back now as well. (I had no idea we had so much in common)

I've found that when faced with code that is tedious but necessary, the best course of action is to just have some self-discipline (I have issues with that sometimes) and plow through it. When faced with something extremely challenging however, I think small breaks are more appropriate, but you must be careful or they will turn into avoidance. When trying to solve difficult problems, programming is like any other creative work, sometimes the ideas and solutions all come pouring out at once and other times it is more like a trickle.

Speaking of the topic, I think it's time for me to get back to work now :)

[Hemidakota]

This subject has been a plus in realizing that my son, who very talented, I suspect, may have ADD. Skale, how do you overcome this problem?

[Guest tomk]

As a fellow software developer, I can tell you that I struggle with the same issues. I have spent a bit too much time at this forum during work lately and it started to effect my performance and so I am trying to cut back now as well. (I had no idea we had so much in common)

I've found that when faced with code that is tedious but necessary, the best course of action is to just have some self-discipline (I have issues with that sometimes) and plow through it. When faced with something extremely challenging however, I think small breaks are more appropriate, but you must be careful or they will turn into avoidance. When trying to solve difficult problems, programming is like any other creative work, sometimes the ideas and solutions all come pouring out at once and other times it is more like a trickle.

Speaking of the topic, I think it's time for me to get back to work now :)

Yes!!

The reasons I got into software development in the first place was I liked the idea of CREATING something that could respond to input appropriately, and do labor intensive work REALLY REALLY fast -- must faster than you or I could. Something about that just captivates me to this day!!

By the way, I have this game I've been working on. One of those eternal projects. We should talk about it sometime, you know, when I'm not trying to convert you. LOL :)