MarginOfError

My advice...bear with this as long as you can, save for your down payment, and then buy a house on the other side of the country. I'm sure your family will think you're evil because you're 'splitting the family apart,' but there's no point in being around a family like that--especially if they make you miserable. Come move into my ward. I'd love to have a little boy nearby to wrestle with!

What he actually said was "They know better." But Television isn't exactly a doctrinal setting. Interpret it however you wish, but the Lord does not reveal new doctrine to the world in television interviews

This discussion of which form of speech to use when praying is largely cultural. In the Slavic areas of the world (at least in Ukraine and Russia), the formal forms of speech are never used. All prayers are given on the familiar. And in those cultures, if a person were to speak to God using the formal, it would be considered very odd and a sign that the person felt exceptionally estranged from God--perhaps even severely depressed.

With no clear directive regarding to whom you should write your letters, I'd say write them to whomever you want. I have a hard time picturing Christ banishing you from his presence at the final judgment because you wrote him a letter. Besides, if he did, he'd be justifying the fact that I never call my mother, and I doubt even He can withstand that wrath of angry mothers.

I'd be more impressed if we never experienced gas. The digestive process is one where complex compounds are broken down into simpler nutrients that the body can process. The chemical reactions involved are bound to create byproducts. Much like a log decaying in the forest--the organisms that decay the log release various gases and byproducts that actually help keep the environment stable. Same principle with digestion. The only way we could escape gas would be if our bodies were so perfect that they could use every conceivable byproduct produced by digestion. If we were such perfect animals, however, we'd never experience discomfort from eating, and we'd find too much joy in eating with not enough pain. Then there'd be no opposition in all things, and the whole Plan of Happiness would crumble, all because beans didn't make you toot anymore. And even worse...whoopie cushions wouldn't be funny anymore.

No, I don't think it's weird at all. It's a perfectly valid question that I've even heard LDS people ask. So here is a non-doctrinal viewpoint from MOE. This carries no validation or endorsement from the Church whatsoever. But I'll propose it in the interest of discussion. Let us assume LDS doctrine, that the Father developed a plan whereby His children could obtain a body, experience, and the chance to receive a glory similar to His own. To obtain these things, He requires that we live a life according to commandments that he has set. Unfortunately, we're all a bunch of delinquent children who can't seem to get it quite right. Thus, we aren't deserving of the reward he has for us. Our good fortune is, however, that one person was able to live life entirely according to the laws of the Father. This person steps up and says to the Father, "I have met your requirements and am therefore free from your laws. I wold like to purchase all the others from you by paying the price of their shortcomings." The Father agrees, and releases all other souls to this person after the price is paid. If the transaction were to look something like this, then we are no longer required to live by Heavenly Father's laws, but by Christ's laws, as we are now owned and indebted to Christ. As the happy coincidence goes on, Christ rather likes Heavenly Father's laws, and insists that we continue to follow them. He did put in there, somewhere, that we continue to pray to the Father in Christ's name. Since he owns me now, I'll do what he says. So, by my reckoning, that's why we pray to the Father. Now, sit back and let's enjoy all the faults people can find with my logic and/or choice of words. Did anyone bring popcorn?

I address my prayers to Heavenly Father. I do this for no other reason than Christ instructed us to do so.

I love how my wife gets angry at me for not doing things she hasn't asked me to do, and then feels so bad about it when she realizes it isn't fair to expect me to read her mind. Absolutely adorable.

Tom and Jerry

Well, I should certainly hope that communication between the living and the dead is not strictly forbidden, because then we get into all sorts of problems. To start, Christ communicated with the Apostles following his death. Thus, if such communication is forbidden, then all of Christianity is a farce. Sure, you might make the argument that Christ wasn't dead, having been resurrected and all...but then again, Moroni was resurrected too, so that would still reconcile that. I'm not able to cite where communication between the living and the dead is forbidden, and I'm too lazy to look up if such references even exist. If they do, I am confident that these references are in the context of sorceries and wishing to communicate for personal gain, by influences of Satan, or for reasons not condoned by God. Furthermore, it isn't like God has any problem going against his own rules when necessary. Nephi murdering Laban is an obvious example. Just some different ways of looking at it.

I've also come to understand that it involves showing proper reverence to sacred things, even outside of our meetings. At the risk of sounding judgmental and overly strict, these scriptures make me question the practice of referring to Baptism as a 'dunking,' or calling the Garment "g's" or "garmies." Or what about calling the Bishop, "the Bish." I sometimes wonder if such diminutives breaches that plane of light-mindedness.

Complete sidenote: I am watching jeopardy, and as I came across the title of this thread, I heard someone on the show say, "What is a sperm whale." The timing was just right so that I ended up reading "Sperm whale in wolf's clothing." I could not figure out what this was going to be about. Okay, off the sidenote.

A white horse fell in the mud...wait, you said clean. I went white water rafting on Sunday with my scout troop. I was put in the boat with four rather weak paddlers. I knew that ahead of time and I figured I'd get through it okay. But at one point, I told the four of them to paddle. I watch all four paddles go in, I watch all four paddles move back in the water, and then I sat there in shock as the boat didn't move. I almost fell out of the boat laughing.

And God has a great sense of humor. I went camping last weekend. Checked the forecast, and it was supposed to be clear until mid morning on Saturday, then we'd get scattered showers. The radar didn't show a cloud in the sky. So I decided to sleep outside. About an hour after I went to sleep, rains that would have rivaled Noah's deluge came pouring down on me. I'm really glad God has a sense of humor, but it really stinks to be on the receiving end of it sometimes.

I'm sorry. I'd love to contribute, but the experience of thought is so far outside my realm of experience that I just wouldn't know what to say. :-) What is thought? Does it exist on the quantum level? Is it controlled my an exchange of electrons? Is it an inherent characteristic of matter? So my pet rock really does has an opinion of me?

I don't get it...what's the punchline again?

MOE's list of things that must be in heaven (or else it wouldn't be heaven) 1. Sex (This is a deal breaker for me) 2. My wife (Number one is kind of pointless without Number Two) 3. Hiking Trails 4. Beaches 5. Frisbee 6. Barbecue 7. Baseball (where the yankees are always in last place) 8. Very high fat content foods 9. Seafood 10. Thongs and Cleavage (Why this is funny)

As an active, and non-apostate (although slightly heretical) member, I have to agree with the 'apostate' here. Knocking on doors is, in general, a waste of time. Going door-to-door was my favorite activity as a missionary, and I did it a lot. But every time a door opened, my goal was to see how long I could keep the person talking to me, about anything, without bringing up the Church or the Gospel. And then I would never, ever teach a discussion on the spot, but set up a time to come back to teach. Most never showed up for their appointment, leaving me with even more time to knock on doors. The reason I tried to get people to talk as long as possible: so I'd knock on fewer doors. Only one person whose door I knocked one went on to be baptized. And if you believe for a second that there was any amount of inspiration or divine guidance in that, then you're horribly misguided. I promise you that was just plain dumb luck (combined with some incredibly good record keeping). I happened to be in the mission office (as the Mission Secretary) when the mission president changed. The primary reason for the mission presidents to have so little time together--and both presidents told me this independently--is so that they won't have time to discuss individual missionaries. Each mission president is supposed to develop his own opinion of each missionary outside the influence of the previous president. In fact, they are instructed not to discuss missionaries, but are asked to focus on local leaders, programs, activities, etc.

I am so hungry. I need to buy some lunch. The cafeteria here makes an incredible lasagna, and I like to eat it with some of the garlic bread, a little bowl of soup, and a tall glass of lemonade. I know, lemonade and lasagna aren't the most traditional of combinations, but I'm a sucker for lemonade. I could also go to the Subway and get a couple of footlong subs I guess. It's always been my dream to look like Jared. But that still takes some money. Does anyone know where I could get a quick ten dollars?

I watched a documentary last night about gold digging women who marry rich older men and carry their love children just hoping that the old man will die so they can inherit the money. Spooky.

Did you notice how quickly Halfers threw us under the bus. Makes you think now doesn't it?

It's just so unfair! My wife treats me like dirt! She never lets me share in the meaningful stuff in our life. She never lets me choose who our friends will be. She won't even let me be pregnant or give birth!

No No, she did just fine! Just respond to the last post...or I guess it's inspire the earliest response isn't it? AH! It's so convoluted. I want a baby I want a baby I want a baby! It's so hard to go to Church with all my pregnant friends and they sneer at me for not having one. I'm sick of being a substandard member of the Church!

(yeah, you're doing it right, but we seem to be going off on two very different tangents. I'm going to declare the baby tangent the keeper, cause bugs creep me out) If you're having trouble having a baby, maybe you just don't have enough faith. (cause yeah, that has everything to do with it).

Those traps where they are supposed to pick up the poison and carry it to the nest are a joke. I see the nasty little things jittering before they get 3 feet away, and then they die. It seems anything I try doesn't work. I'm getting kind of desperate.