OneEternalSonata

I had those same kind of thoughts concerning receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood and I finally decided I needed to be honest and that there was no other faithful choice for me. Also, serious sins must be confessed to the Bishop, otherwise you have not fully repented, even though you've been valiant in not repeating your mistake. I learned this the hard way on other occasions. For the Priesthood there is a pretty clear scripture which ultimately served as a rebuke to soften my heart. Speaking of the priesthood, it states: "That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man." If you were to take out the word priesthood and replace it with "blessings" the scripture could be likened unto you this way. "Amen to the blessings of the temple and the ratifying power of the Holy Ghost for that man." You'd be robbing the one you love. If a covenant is entered into under false pretenses the seal, or ratifying power, of the Holy Ghost will not be there. I know it is tough but it is better to bring sin into the light; a true sign of repentance. The fact that it shakes you up in such a manner seems to indicate the maturity you have in realizing the severity of your actions, which is good. I know you want the blessings of the temple and that they are precious to you, don't let the influence of Satan lull you into losing such a blessing. You have my love and admiration as your brother in Christ for desiring to do what's right and posting here, may you be always steadfast and true. :) EDIT: Noticed a mistake I made, sorry about that.

I encourage you to go in spite of your fears. I grew up with an anti-mormon stigma from my father and I sadly did some trash talking also, and expected some flack when I confessed this to my ward members. They were not just forgiving and receptive of me they even comforted me. I have now been a member for over three and a half years. You are genuinely interested and you are not contentious, and those that are strong in the faith will have no trouble accepting you. Truth be told, the Lord knows your heart and none have a right to condemn you, especially when they don't know you or your heart. Take courage from knowing that if anyone says anything, though I doubt they will. I applaud your faithfulness and will be praying for you. Under most circumstances, it is advised to attend as many meetings as possible, especially the Sacrament. You will be greatly blessed if you go despite these fears, our loving Savior will go before you and prepare a way. May you be encircled in His comfort to aid you in your decisions. Take care.

I totally thought that this was a thread on optimism by the title. lol But Cheer detergent rocks, too!

I really feel for you and understand your struggle, if even in a small way. I hope and pray that this doctrine will become clearer to you and that the discomfort will pass. I too had a difficult time with this doctrine as a convert, as it made sense in my head, but my heart just didn't accept it at first. I understand how it feels blasphemous, and it would be, if man made the theory all up. If it is of God, as I believe it to be, then it is a precious gift that unites us with Him and doesn't exalt us above Him.

Noah's flood symbolizes the Atonement, as Jonah and his captivity, yet neither does so perfectly. A type and a shadow need not be an exact copy to be faithful and true. These things are clear, yet unclearly seen. Whenever I find something I believe to be lacking I always discover the doctrine to be fuller and richer. The flood needed be sufficient to God, and it was, even if I couldn't perceive it.

I think sometimes people will say some of those cookie-cutter answers when they don't know how to help but genuinely want to. Anyhow, I hope you find the eternal answers tucked into your experience. Take care.

Really?! Sweet, looking forward to get to know you better!

I think that I'll enjoy meeting people here and sharing my love of the Lord, as well. Lets see... I'm a guy, I'm twenty-three, a convert of three years and four months, love singing and am usually smiling. Overall, I really love life. There you go, me in a nutshell. Hey, uh, would you mind cracking the shell open? Its kinda dark in here.