Vort

Well, all the guys in the high priest group give me funny looks.

Pam, the prettiest, always got to sit in the middle. And they put me by beefche so that everyone could see that her nostrils were larger than my eyes. That's just mean (to both of us).

Why, yes. Yes, I am.

So far, none has tried to initiate uninvited physical contact. But in all seriousness, I fear for my sons.

Or as the Valley girls say, "What-EVAR!!"

There's a prof in the BYU English department named William Shakespeare. When I was at school back in the Pleistocene Era, he was a grammarian or linguist or some such, I think. I believe that today he actually teaches Shakespeare classes (assuming he hasn't retired yet).

You're kinda thin, in an unhealthy way. Plus your posture is as bad as mine.

I don't get it.

Well, there's liver flukes. And thermonuclear war. And when you get a popcorn husk stuck between your back teeth, and it really hurts but you can't get it out, and you don't have any floss, so you try using paper, but the paper gets soggy and rips, and your gum starts bleeding but you still can't get the stupid popcorn husk out. But other than that, you may be right.

Ten-miler Elphaba --> Help! Lib man eater!

That was not written by William Shakespeare, but by someone else of the same name.

I'll take you up on the offer. Assuming you are correct, why do you think that any Priesthood ordinance done under explicit instruction of the senior apostle of Jesus Christ on the earth would be invalid?: Do you likewise think Alma's baptism was invalid because he apparently baptized himself, rather than being baptized by someone else? I have heard many people complain about the lack of depth in our adult Sunday School and quorum classes. Maybe I just happen to have lived in a series of exceptional wards (or maybe I'm one of those shallow people who would not recognize the deep, meaty doctrine if it bit me in the rear end), but I have never found this to be the case. On the contrary, we talk about important and meaningful things in all such classes -- though I will happily admit that the conversation rarely or never turns to eschatalogical predictions, the past or future apostasy of the LDS Church, or the positioning of ancient American airfields. I don't know you, Hill-Billy, but my experience teaches me that those who moan the loudest about the lack of teaching "deep doctrine" are those who are involved in fringe movements or ideas and who simply wish to ride their gospel hobby horse to the exclusion of other doctrine. Hopefully, this bears no strong resemblance to present company.

If he has paid into social security, he has something from that.

Doesn't even have to be virgin olive oil. (Biting my lip to keep from making further comments about the virgin olives that were sacrificed...oh, darn.)

MS Word has built-in spell check. [/helpful_hint]

Agreed. Who does a daughter grow up to be like? If God's love is unconditional, why will there be people condemned to hell?

Unbelievably enough -- and I am the first to admit it's hard to believe -- there are any number of women who would happily give me carnal knowledge of themselves for the asking. If I wished to do so, I could fornicate with women (and men) until my Fornicator fell off. The availability of "free" and "easy" sex astonishes me.

Truly a pyrrhic victory -- especially for those of us who have only ever slept with our wives.

My wife throws like a girl.We have five children.Quod erat demonstrandum.

Sorry if this viewpoint has already been expressed. I expect this has to do with beliefs on the atonement. Most of non-LDS Christianity believe that the atonement was completely accomplished on the cross; thus, the cross is their symbol of redemption. Latter-day Saints believe the atonement was accomplished primarily in the garden of Gethsemane, or at least that it was begun there. Thus, for Latter-day Saints the cross is primarily a symbol of torture and painful death, not of redemption.

He sure bullied around Shawn Bradley, both on and off the court. Good for him for stepping up in this tragic case.

Which was the first post you read?

All General Authorities (and mission presidents, I believe) are eligible to receive a modest living stipend. From what I have heard, few actually accept the stipend. I don't know if President Monson does not not -- it would be fine with me if he did -- but I think it's entirely possible that he makes enough off of book royalties and retirement income that he does not need the stipend.

Of course, I was not implying anything about your wife in my silliness. However, I do believe that everyone who eats meat should slaughter an animal at least once per year. No one should believe that meat (or eggs, or milk) comes from a store. I am no vegetarian, but I do think that any adult who eats meat ought to be willing to slaughter the animal to get it. If you aren't willing to slaughter the animal, don't eat meat. I also believe that our national meat consumption would decrease significantly if all meat-eaters were required to slaughter at least one animal per year.

I love animals, too. Especially lambs, pigs, beef, and chickens. Question to the vegetarians: If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?