Nappaljarri

Hello Elrond, Here goes, I'll respond to each sentence you have written. //We are God. We are all God, together.// Our church doctrine goes as far as to say that we are spirit children of God and can become like and as him if we obey his doctrine/law and accept his son's atonement through repentence and partaking of the covenants and ordinances found in our church. Other church teachings that are not considered "doctrine" but go along with the above teachings are that we are "gods in embyo", and "as man is God once was and as God is man may become." //Jesus realized this and was able to have the ultimate power and influence.// There is one difference between us and Jesus. Jesus has God as his spiritual father as well as his physical father. We on the other hand have God as just our spiritual father and an earthly man as our physical father. As for realising who he was and his power, we believe that. //We all were with God in the beginning. Every living soul was a part of God.// According to the teachings of our church, we did live with God in beginning before we were born into this mortal realm. And kind of like you said (part of God), we were God's children, and in that sense, yes we are part of God, and on this earth we are commanded to become "one with the Holy Ghost, Christ and Him." //We all created the heavens and the earth.// If one partakes of all the covenants in our church and goes through the temple, then it becomes pretty clear that we also helped in the creation of this earth. It is not plainly stated this piece of info, and it is not a taught doctrine of the church in public forums, but I have recieved it through personal revelation. //This is why in Genesis 1 it states “God said, let us make….” The “us” does not refer to the so called trinity as most Christians believe. It refers to all of us that were with God and a part of God: collectively God.// I concur with this idea. But once again it is not taught at our churches in our classes. But is also not unplausable in the circumference of our church doctrine. J//esus said in John 14 “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no one comes to the Father but by me.” Was he referring to himself or was this a statement anyone could make if they realized they were God? // a) Christ was referring to himself, in that he is the only person whom any other human being could accept his sacrifce as the atonement and repent through his name and come unto the the Father. Christ is known as our advocate with the Father, if it were not for Christ's sacrifice, none of us would be able to come back into the presence of God and live with him forever. b) In a way it is correct. For in our scripture (John: 17) Christ's intercessory prayer, he asks God to bless "them" (which are all those who come unto Christ and become perfected in him) that they may become "one" with Christ and God and the Holy Ghost. If a person were to become one with God, is that the same as saying "become the same as God?". Also our baptismal covenant we promise to "take upon us the name of Christ." if you take his name upon you, does that mean you become him? The same as become one with him. It is all symbolic. The sacrament that we partake of each Sunday is a symbol of his body and blood and we partake of it, so that our bodies are changed to become "him" more pure and undefiled, until one day we look in the mirror and we look like him, because we have become so much like him. This is the process which we are commanded to embark upon. //Jesus also stated that people should not look for the kingdom of God in other places because the “kingdom of God is within you.”// We believe that the Kingdom of God consists of the priestood authority and the church set up to officiate the ordinances of God to his children on the earth, coupled with willing children of his who partake of these ordinances and covenants and are obedient to his law. So in a sense yes, the kingdom of God is not found in physical things, but in God's law obeyed by each of his children (who so choose to embark on the path to come back into his presence). // God was already there because we were always a part of God. God had said in Genesis “let us make man in our image.” Scripture confirms scripture. When we were all together as one the whole universe was created. It was perfect, or “good.” It soon became imperfect. Why? The answer is simple. God was suddenly incomplete. God had given parts of himself as life forms. God scattered himself throughout the universe that had been created. Because God (as all of us) wanted each individual to have free will, people explored both good and evil.// This idea is nearly correct. God will always be perfect and complete without us, he is perfect and alpowerful and allknowing etc. He had children whom he wanted to become like him as well (for that is the pattern of the universe), but for them to become like him they needed to "choose" to become like and as him. For this purpose, we had to choose first to come to this earth. We believe and as taught in our church that Satan did not want to follow this plan and took numerous hosts of heaven with him to follow him. Satan believed in perfection by force, but this is never possible as you would understand experimenting on a child on earth (you can not make them be good, or intelligent, or wise, they need to choose their path). So God placed us on this earth and Satan is also allowed on this earth to tempt us and to try and draw us away from God's law. God allowed this to happen, else we would not be able to make a choice to follow him (it would have been a "given") see 2Nephi: 2. I'm going to continue this post... soon....

And once again, it's not seen as so terrible because humans see the consequences so easily or that they want to judge you to be evil for doing those things, but that a loving Heavenly Father knows all and see the true consequences of those actions and wants us to be like him and therefore wants to show us the clear path to his perfection. Breaking the law of chastity will always bring heart break, pain and wounds so deep. I am so greatful that during my teenager years I was protected time and time again from carnel instincts of others. To have that drive unbriddled is to be carnely minded and not spiritually minded and it turns one into an animal. An interesting thread to read would be the one about Ted Bundy that is on this website, where he explains to Dr Dobson his path and choices that brought him to death row. It is all about letting your boundaries go and to become an animal with instincts unbriddled. He explains how pornography played it's major part in his crimes. This does not happen to all, but we as members of the church know and see the dangers of unbriddled passions in their various forms and how they turn us into creatures that are not God-like. And Satan also sees this tool as a great distractor of God's children to lead them slowly away into hell. A hell we create very easily for ourselves even on this earth.

We have four chickens, yes I'm a hen mother..... always calling them when we are shopping.... "Come on chickens, this way." 9 year old son: thinks he is his father, and when Dad is away he give the orders to the younger ones and keeps them in line. Grasps all school concepts taught in 2 seconds and is bored very easliy. Very annalytical mind. 7 year old son: Mr Melodromatic. I'm sure our neighbours thought we were torturing him when we cut his hair with the clippers. But very intelligent, and thought provoking with his articulation and creativeness. 5 year old daughter: Loves the sound of her own voice and thinks she is me with her younger brother. She calls him chicken and has him following her around the house, reading him books and telling him made up stories and playing funny games. 2 year old son: house wrecker. Into every cupboard and bathroom he can have access to. Drives me crazy. But then he smiles and use polite language consistantly. Mummy drink please mummy. Thankooo mummy. He is sooo adorable. Everyone loves him everywhere he goes... he is one of those kids that all shops we go to consistnantly, they know his name and love when he comes for a visit. When we get to church on a sunday, Daddy play piano and he sings at the top of his lungs hymns that have not been written yet. He is actually sitting on my lap right now chewing on a pencil and falling asleep. I don't want him to grow up for his cuteness... but maybe it'll stick to him. We love our children and appreciate their uniqueness and also look forward to the day when they all have the strength to dig and prune in the garden.... Right now they just make one big mess of it.... not that we tell them... we just smile and say they are doing great!!

and maybe off topic again.... but..... I rekon the rate of children with "mental ilness" has gone through the roof, right along that other excellent statistic of unwed parents and fatherless homes. I think mental ilness is a child's defense to abuse of God's law to them. Not in all cases, but I think it's a symptom of sin, these days in Sodem and Gomorah.

This may be more off topic, but what Teancum has said I would go as far as to say that food manufacturers are in that boat as well. I believe that drugs and rubbish in processed foods and even fresh produce are purposefully put there to dull human brains and have us addicted to rubbish food that dulls our spiritual senses. 20 more sleeps and we'll be on our 10 acres of organic heaven.... Here we come yehaaaa!!!

//don't I'll think ever fall in love with someone in a short period of time, less than a year. Besides being a sin, how does having sex before marriage affect the love you have for someone? Anybody know??? // Gatsby's question: Gatsby, it is a sin to commit fornication. God sets us boundaries for good reason. If you break the law of chastity before (or after for that matter) marriage, then you are breaking the true law of nature and the circle of life. Breaking this law is not a showing of "true love" at all, like some would profess. It is actually showing the opposite, enmity toward God's law and apathy for the person you share the experinece with. Breaking this law stabs your spiritual heart and leaves you spiritually wounded for most of your life. This is why breaking the law of chastity is next in line next to murder in severity of sins. Yes it definately does affect love within a marriage relationship if one or both parties have shared this experience with others, it puts the relationship on shaky ground to begin, and from there it is a hard row to hoe to have a stable relationship and make a celestial marriage out of it. If one one (if one or two in the marriage relationship) has had this experience with someone other than each other before marriage, then you can obviously see consequences. But more subtley, if the only person they broke the law of chastity with before marriage was each other, they can lie to each other for the rest of their lives and ignore the sin that was made and cover it up with the fact that they are married now. So many make this mistake and suffer their whole lives and don't truely repent for spiritually wounding each other. This is the case with my brother and his wife right now, who are still not married in the temple after 2 years of marriage because he still hasn't worked out that fact. Just because a couple gets married doesn't mean they have repented of breaking the law of chastity, it only means they can keep having sex without breaking the law, but they still need to go through the process of repentance and asking each other for forgiveness. Long process, but achievable.

Christmas to us is an extension of every other day of the year. We have some interesting symbols at Christmas time. We believe that our christmas tree should symbolise the tree of life. And we believe that the tree of life's roots are Jesus and that we are the branches and fruit (ie: family history). So in saying that, Our christmas tree each year is decorated with laminated photos of our family interactions during the year, as well as family history photos of ones passed on. We also buy a couple of $2 decorations of stars representing the sign of Christ's births etc. I hope that can be an idea for someone.

THE DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS SECTION 93 Revelation given through Joseph Smith the Prophet, at Kirtland, Ohio, May 6, 1833. HC 1: 343–346. 1–5, All who are faithful shall see the Lord; 6–18, John bore record that the Son of God went from grace to grace until he received a fulness of the glory of the Father; 19–20, Faithful men, going from grace to grace, shall also receive of his fulness; 21–22, Those who are begotten through Christ are the Church of the Firstborn; 23–28, Christ received a fulness of all truth, and man by obedience may do likewise; 29–32, Man was in the beginning with God; 33–35, The elements are eternal, and man may receive a fulness of joy in the resurrection; 36–37, The glory of God is intelligence; 38–40, Children are innocent before God because of the redemption of Christ; 41–53, The leading brethren are commanded to set their families in order. 1 Verily, thus saith the Lord: It shall come to pass that every soul who aforsaketh his bsins and cometh unto me, and ccalleth on my name, and dobeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall esee my fface and gknow that I am; 2 And that I am the true alight that lighteth every man that cometh into the world; 3 And that I am ain the Father, and the Father in me, and the Father and I are one— 4 The Father abecause he bgave me of his fulness, and the Son because I was in the world and made cflesh my dtabernacle, and dwelt among the sons of men. 5 I was in the world and received of my Father, and the aworks of him were plainly manifest. 6 And aJohn saw and bore record of the fulness of my bglory, and the fulness of cJohn’s record is hereafter to be revealed. 7 And he bore record, saying: I saw his glory, that he was in the abeginning, before the world was; 8 Therefore, in the beginning the aWord was, for he was the Word, even the messenger of salvation— 9 The alight and the Redeemer of the world; the Spirit of truth, who came into the world, because the world was made by him, and in him was the life of men and the light of men. 10 The worlds were amade by him; men were made by him; all things were made by him, and through him, and of him. 11 And I, John, abear record that I beheld his bglory, as the glory of the Only Begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth, even the Spirit of truth, which came and dwelt in the flesh, and dwelt among us. 12 And I, John, saw that he received not of the afulness at the first, but received bgrace for grace; 13 And he received not of the fulness at first, but continued from agrace to grace, until he received a fulness; 14 And thus he was called the aSon of God, because he received not of the fulness at the first. 15 And I, aJohn, bear record, and lo, the heavens were opened, and the Holy Ghost descended upon him in the form of a dove, and sat upon him, and there came a voice out of heaven saying: This is my bbeloved Son. 16 And I, John, bear record that he received a fulness of the glory of the Father; 17 And he received aall bpower, both in heaven and on earth, and the glory of the Father was with him, for he dwelt in him. 18 And it shall come to pass, that if you are faithful you shall receive the afulness of the record of John. 19 I give unto you these sayings that you may understand and know how to worship, and aknow what you worship, that you may come unto the Father in my name, and in due time receive of his fulness. 20 For if you keep my acommandments you shall receive of his bfulness, and be cglorified in me as I am in the Father; therefore, I say unto you, you shall receive dgrace for grace. 21 And now, verily I say unto you, I was in the abeginning with the Father, and am the bFirstborn; 22 And all those who are begotten through me are apartakers of the bglory of the same, and are the cchurch of the Firstborn. 23 Ye were also in the beginning with the Father; that which is aSpirit, even the Spirit of truth; 24 And atruth is bknowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come; 25 And whatsoever is amore or less than this is the spirit of that wicked one who was a bliar from the beginning. 26 The Spirit of atruth is of God. I am the Spirit of truth, and John bore record of me, saying: He breceived a fulness of truth, yea, even of all truth; 27 And no man receiveth a afulness unless he keepeth his commandments. 28 He that akeepeth his commandments receiveth btruth and clight, until he is glorified in truth and dknoweth all things. 29 Man was also in the abeginning with God. bIntelligence, or the clight of dtruth, was not ecreated or made, neither indeed can be. 30 All truth is independent in that asphere in which God has placed it, to bact for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence. 31 Behold, here is the aagency of man, and here is the condemnation of man; because that which was from the beginning is bplainly manifest unto them, and they receive not the light. 32 And every man whose spirit receiveth not the alight is under condemnation. 33 For man is aspirit. The elements are beternal, and cspirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fulness of joy; 34 And when aseparated, man cannot receive a fulness of joy. 35 The aelements are the btabernacle of God; yea, man is the tabernacle of God, even ctemples; and whatsoever temple is ddefiled, God shall destroy that temple. 36 The aglory of God is bintelligence, or, in other words, clight and truth. 37 Light and truth forsake that aevil one. 38 Every aspirit of man was binnocent in the beginning; and God having credeemed man from the dfall, men became again, in their infant state, einnocent before God. 39 And that awicked one cometh and btaketh away light and truth, through cdisobedience, from the children of men, and because of the dtradition of their fathers. 40 But I have commanded you to bring up your achildren in blight and truth. Yes agreed about being overshadowed by evil on this earth (read verse 39-40)... Once again... I love this section.. It continues.... but I didn't want my post to go too long.

I don't think there were fence sitters. Really. I believe in a God of leadership and he would have said... you all have your agency... now make your decision.... My side, or Lucifer's side. There may have been some with quarms about decisions to be made, but they had to choose then, and they have to choose again now.

Hi Stacie, Wow, you are a very special person. I think it must take a lot of love and patience to do your work of love. How is it having your mother in the late stages of elz and your grandmother in the early stages? That must be interesting.

No I didn't take your post as argumentative.... I understand where you are coming from. It's just different perspectives. I hope my posts don't sound that way either, when I am typing them, that is not the feeling I am typing with.

reference above... vs 36 is the verse that describes the Glory of God, but to understand it better, as I said, read the whole section.

So maybe from your human perspective of "King, or God" you assume that a God will not allow his children to sit next to him or be equal to him. In our religion, we believe that for us to be a god and to be like God, does not take away from his Godliness but adds to his glory. If none of his children became like him (which would be impossible since he had one perfect son to carry on the family business) then in the definition of what we believe God to be, he would not be a God. God's glory is intelligence this reference comes from our latterday scripture, if anyone can help with bible quotes, go ahead... Doctrine and Covenants 93 (or his glory comes from his offspring becoming as he is). That is our belief. Read that whole section, if you will, it is my favourite section of the Doctrine and Covenants.

My stand point: Prophet: Obedience every time Bishop and Local leaders: I will pray about it and take my own life into consideration. The main point being why would I need the bishop's advice anyway. The church through the GA's give the most specific guidence necessary for normal members to live. I am not going to bring myself into some situation of terrible sin, so I will not need to go to him because of that. If I have life experiences (that are not gospel orientated), then I will consult myself first and husband first, and then bring it to God in prayer, he may alter the plan, or may say go for it, or may leave us to our own devices to allow us to step into the darkness with faith (this has happened many times in our life). I must agree, there are many bishops who are not honorable men (lots in my own life). Thank goodness I didn not need their help, else I would have prayed alot before going to see them, and would have prayed alot after seeing them. On a side note... I will never take the Sunday School teacher's word for gospel, neither the RS teacher's word for gospel, nor the crazy lady sitting down the back of the room. Those lessons are usually entertainment for me. But I will re-iterate.... when the prophet speaks, I obey. Simple as that.

To add.... to Truegrits.... not only does the digestion of carbonation linch your body of calcium... but breaking down of any processed sugars and chocolates in particular does the same thing. All not good to be taken as a staple...

I have it very occasionally, when my mouth and throat feel yucky and I feel like I am on the verge of getting the flu. I drink coke... it feels like it eats away at all the yuckiness as it goes down my throat, after that, I have the good stuff... fruit juices... and chilli soups etc etc...

You are asking from a human perspective. The definition of God in our church does not mean proud. An omnipotent God wants to have other literal gods around him, because they are all his family.

I think humans do a great deal of evil thoughts and temptation options by themselves.... Satan sits back and laughs, because there is no effort on his part to do these things.

I think for others it can take time. As with spiritual vision (which we as members believe is developed through obedience) Love is a spiritual attribute. Whether is it love for the rest of our fellowman, or the special love that only spouse share as they become one in Christ. It is only developed through obedience. So from a non-lds perspective... it may take a couple a certain ammount of time to communicate and come to realisations in their lives about what they want to be and who they want ot be with. I can understand that perspective. But once again... for LDS people, love is a form of communication. And if we are communicating it all of the time... when it is communicated to us.... we receive it instantly.

And the amazing thing is..... when you make a choice to love... then your feelings swell within you anyway.... So the feelings are sort of like a sign of the love, but it isn't the love. If you know what I mean.

I think she's testing you. The way you explain it, it sounds like she a bit manipulative. Manipulative people will do allin their power to have control. But deep down, all women need to have a man who puts their foot down on issues, else he is really not a man. This is a good issue to put your foot down (ever so lightly) and humbly express that you have a choice and you are choosing to go to church (if that is your choice). There are lots of things she can threaten you with, but until you make your decision ans stick by it, how do you know she will go through with any threats?

Agree with everyone's response. My experience: I was preparing for a mission and doing all the good things in life to bring spiritual enlightenment. Then wham bam..... my husband to be turned, up to a YSA convention (something he normally wouldn't do because he can't stand YSA behaviour, so he was even inspired)... anyway... he walked into the chapel courtyard, I saw him and then this overwhelming feeling came over me and I knew in my heart that we would be together forever. I walked into the bathroom with my friends and told them of my revelation... and they laughed at me... considering the situation and that my husband to be had everyone's eye on him as a prospective husband. Was it emotion? NO, it was a burning in my bosom. It was a straight communication from the Holy Ghost of the direction my life was going to take. It was a positive feeling that kick started me into a different way of thinking (as opposed to preparing to serve a mission). So love at first sight.... I think not.... personal revelation?? Yes!! I also believe that love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is commitment in the face of turmoil, kindness in the face of rudeness, endurance in the face of exhaustion, and the list goes on. As one continues on the path of true love and manifesting it through their actions, they see the grandness of their eternal companion unfold before them. I am the recipient of a kind and loving Heavenly Father who placed my wonderful husband on a silver platter in front of my eyes. I have seen us evolve into more loving human beings than I could have ever imagined. I realise now how many faults I had when we were first married, and can attest to a very patient husband who has moulded me with the love in his hands and helped me to become an elect lady... and continue on that evolution. True Love is a grand thing and I am ever so grateful for a husband who has lived it in word and deed.

As I see it, the life circumstances now are coming into fruition that were fortold by prophets in your younger years. Yes you blew it in that you made bad decisions in your past. Does that mean that it is blown for eternity? No. While you are alive, you have time to repent. Can you help your husband repent? Yes, only by repenting yourself. Maybe this is your true test, to not give up now. I have many friends and family in your situation. Most closely my brother. Served a mission, came home, got his wife to be pregnant.... married her civily, but still not married in the temple. What people who make "bad unwise" decisions in their younger years don't understand is that getting married does not repent of the sin. And getting married also doesn't negate the physical ramifications of your whole family. Breaking the law of chastity (which means in a members life circle, to not keep the whole law of God and get married in the temple first time only time) is a huge sin to make. When my brother was told by the stake president that he had to marry his "woman" else he would be ex'd, this was not the only step to repentance... This step only facilitated my brother to stop continuing to break the law of chastity, so that he didn't continue to live in sin. One must work out how to make life the way it was before the sin was commited, this is what repenting means. It can only be done through the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and it can only be done through application of God's law through the personal revelation throught he Holy Ghost. Advice: Start from the basics and go from there. Good luck with it all. All is not lost unless you give up. LIne upon line, precept upon precept. Gain spiritual strength by going to Father in prayer and pleading with him to help you repent.... your repentance process (which would include pleading for your husband's soul) is the only way to help him (and you and your whole family).

Yes I think it happens more often then you may have thought Whoa-guy. My answer is,no I wouldn't give up my faith or stop going to church or doing those things which I believe were right in the eyes of God. Our church teaches that the family unit can only be eternal (continue after death) if we obey his (God's) law... and the whole purpose of his law is to create eternal families. So the issue is a very delicate one in our church. We believe that the church and the priesthood authority is set up to create and support eternal families. Everything that happens in our churches and temples is to support and help and direct families to live the law of God so that as families they can return to God. We are taught to do all in our power to love all of our families (whether members or not) and to encourage and share our religion with our families by our good and loving examples. Some points.... I see too often then not.... a) spouses who mix up church and family and put doing things at church above living the "gospel" in their homes. This is most destructive when the other spouse is not a member of the church and sees that the church and church life is of more importance than their family relationship. That could cause the spouse to "not allow" them to go to church anymore because their invovlement in the church is having a negative affect on their repsonsiblities as a parent and spouse first. In this way, the spouse who is a non-member is actually more correct in their point of view. Also church leadership encourages local leaders to not put heavy burdens on part member family members with regard to the assignments or callings they may be given, because the stability of their family units is of more importance than responsibilities given at church. There is always someone else who can do jobs at church, but there is never anyone who can do the job of spouse/parent as well as themselves. This point of view does not detract from the fact that there are controlling spouses who will keep their spouses away from church no matter how well they fulfil their responsibilities at home, although the former in my personal observation has always been the norm. b) As I have probebly shared my opinion in other threads.... I would never had considered choosing a non-member spouse, or a spouse that has had a dodgey background. Marriage is a very critical decision in ones life, and leaving the future to chance (that they will repent, or join the church) is a very niave decision to make. Now on a lighter note... here is a different situation.... Your husband finds out that he can take 4 days off next month over the weekend, and he wants to take the family on a short trip away. You realise that it is the week that you are teaching Home enrichment and then RS lesson on the Sunday. What do you do? LOL, I know people in my life that would actually stay at home because they think the Lord will bless them for their service. And I actually know people who don't ever take holidays because they think their calling is so important. This is false foundations of faith. As for me, I will choose the getaway everytime. Why.... how often does husband's get time off work? And if you reject your husband in wanting to bless his family and spend time with them, what kind of message are you giving him about the importance of his involvement in the family unit, and thirdly and most importantly... latter-day revelation has given us the key to happy family life.. and one of those is wholesome recreation (see "The Family", a proclamation to the World). To paraphrase an apostle's words: 2003/04 (can't remember) World Wide leadership training: (Elder Ballard or Perry I think) "What doeth it profiteth a man if he sacrificeth all that he has for the church and looses his family." (note "church" not "gospel or God's law"). I am very passionate about family/church balance as I was the child in a family where church (and the family's image at church) was of more importance than actually living the gospel in the home. If one puts the church and it's activities and processes first before the family with the belief that their family will be blessed for it, they are putting themselves on shaky ground, and will wonder in years to come why their children did not hold fast to the rod. note: there is a balance... and service should be rendered in all it's arrays at church after the family and it's basic needs are met (loving parents, love in the home, gospel taught in the home, food, shelter, clothing basics). My opinion of couse does not cater in the least for an attitude that says..... my family come first, so I will take my children to soceer practice instead of spending that time doing the compassionate service assignment I have been given (while in the meantime teaching my children about loving service we can give to others). There has also been world wide training more recently (maybe this year or last year) about how there are so many "good" things and "causes" that we as members, parents can be involved in. But that we can get distracted by these good causes and forget the essential causes that we have been placed on earth to do. It was also even taught that local units need to scale down their activities so as to not encroach on family time that is so needed in this busy world. Those are just some thoughts... Hope it has given food for thought.

Kirajo, are you married. I can 100% without a doubt tell you that everyone who is on this forum who is married has had this experience. It may not be that they have contemplated divorce. But I can promise you that each couple will and must go through teething stages where they move from a "me" mentality" where you have to be in control of only yourself and what you choose to a "we" mentality" where your choices affect your most loved one deeply... and then onto a "them" mentality where hopefully the "we" has been fixed up because:cool::cool::)