Wingnut

I thought about that. I wondered if the answer might change based on who I spoke with. I also wondered if the act of asking (even if they said it's fine) might make them decide to start asking, in which case, I just screw myself. Lol. Basically, I'm just putting waaaay too much thought into this entire event.

I may have a teeny-tiny ethical dilemma come up for me next week, and I don't know yet what I'll do, but I thought it would make for an interesting conversation. Those of you who are FB friends with me may remember my venting earlier this month about the local LEGO store. For those who aren't on FB with me, here's my post: I don't know if they're just suddenly enforcing the policy, or if that was a one-time thing. But my daughter was crushed. She can build things on her own without help. Usually at these mini builds, I just have to watch her to make sure she doesn't get ahead of herself. She'll often miss one minor step, but that's it. Next week is the monthly build again. My daughter will be six in April. So if we're asked her age again, do I say, "Oh, she'll be six on [date]," and leave off the month? Do I say, "she's six," since we're pretty close? Do I say "she'll be six next month," and hope it's enough? Or do I tell the truth and run the risk of her devastation all over again? I'm not necessarily asking for advice here, though I won't be upset if anyone offers it up. I'm just doing a little but of talking out loud. It's the current teeny-tiny crisis I might be facing, and the thought that prompted this conversation.

Pam, don't you lie about your age to us all the time?

Interesting. I clicked through to the job postings. The district executive for my area has a "competitive salary of $34,500."

A couple of follow-up questions (I thought of the topic and posted it, without thinking all the way through the conversation starter). Is there such a thing as "teeny-tiny ethics" to you? Or is a white lie the same as a "real" lie? If we're talking about instances that involve kids, do your answers change based on how old the kids are?

I'm curious to see how other people view minor truth-bending. Things like saying your 13-year-old is under 11 in order to get the kids' meal for him, teaching your six-year-old to stand on her tiptoes in order to be tall enough to get on a ride, or other things like that. It can be with kids or just you yourself. Do you ever lie about your age, etc.?

Come on here and read awesome, kind, and understanding words from PC, who was clearly inspired to share them. At least, that's what I did this morning.

Are we talking about three different events here? Viewing/wake (informal gathering, sometimes at a funeral home, sometimes in the family home) Funeral (formal memorial ceremony, sometimes at a church or funeral home, sometimes graveside) Burial (often reserved for family and very close friends)

My husband attended one semester of college in Utah. When he told people he was from Maine, he was actually asked, "Oh what country is that in?"

Thank you, thank you, thank you, PC. You've put into words what I wished last night I could express, even if just to myself. I had the thoughts, but couldn't fully form them. (Not just about "the gay issue" but many other topics discussed on this site.) I actually felt a tear roll down my cheek as I read this. I was hoping you'd check into the site in time to get to contribute to that thread. I was looking forward to your insight on it. Oh well, c'est la vie. While I greatly appreciate your post as a whole, and all the observations you made in it and the thought put in, I just wanted to laugh a little at this statement. :) Start a new thread! Please! Maybe it can be a "what I look forward to when I see the name of the poster above me. I think it would be a fantastic thread, and you're right -- probably very needed right now. I'm totally feeling this. I needed this last page and a half this morning. I woke up super grumpy today, but now I just want to sing Kumbaya and Heal the World.

Three years. I think temple presidents are the same.

I suspect this thread is born (at least in part) out of several of my interactions on this site in the last week. For some examples of "in-fighting," please read on: (1) Just this afternoon, Apple and I were conflicting in this thread. While this could just be an instance of me sharing my opinion and others sharing theirs, being that I was making broad, generalized, and sweeping negative statements about a demographic group that includes many on this site, I completely understand why it would feel divisive, criticizing, and otherwise harsh. I tried to temper that by including my disclaimer and ending my list on a positive note, but I understand that it can feel personal (I'm really bad at taking things personally that aren't meant that way). (2) This thread is fairly divisive on a particular issue, with some negative feelings on both sides. (3) This thread devolved quickly, in part due to my and Vort's tangent, which was extremely contentious. But it was quite polarized even before that part of the conversation started. These are just a few examples, Anatess, where things have reached a little beyond friendly and civil debate. We all see things differently, too. In the years that I've gotten to know Applepansy on this site, I've learned that she is a very kind, sweet, sensitive individual, and seems to not like conflict. She's a peacemaker -- a highly valued quality. It's natural, of course, that someone like that might be more sensitive to conflict. You, Anatess, enjoy the debate, the back and forth, the sparring. Someone who enjoys that engagement is less likely to be sensitive to it when it goes too far. Me, I often feel excluded or ostracized in this environment because I have different ideologies and opinions than the majority here. Because I'm a minority in that aspect, I often feel the need to speak louder to make my point. Sometimes deliberately, and sometimes inadvertently, that leads to things getting out of hand. None of this is meant to lay blame anywhere or to speak for anyone, just to offer perspective.

That's a bummer.

While I don't disagree with what you're saying here, I'm not sure it's what applepansy was talking about. I think she's referring to in-fighting, among the Saints. And particularly, among members of this website.

It did...

I'm just the only one who's rally spoke up so far. Others are certainly welcome to do so. As Sharky said, I was being very frank. For someone who is nervous and uncertain, they should know many of the pros and cons. Unfortunately, I don't have many pros to share, though I tried. Someone else needs to do that. Materialistic didn't feel strong enough for what I was thinking. I chose hedonistic deliberately, and though I can't put my finger on exactly why, I feel it's an accurate reflection of my personal observations and experiences.

I live in an area that attracts a lot of grad student families (medical, dental, law, podiatry), as well as medical residents. We get nearly a whole new ward every three years or so, because about 1/3 of it turns over every summer. The last few years have been not as bad, because we've actually had a fair amount of permanent families move in. But when I first moved here, a new bishop had been called two weeks earlier. He had a solid steady job here, and he and his wife were raising their four kids with Cleveland as home. They'd been here for a few years already, and (I think) had moved here for his job. That was July. The following March, he was released after accepting a job in California. Super Awesome Bishop was called. Just over four years later, the ward boundaries were realigned and he was dumped into a neighboring ward (a year after that, he learned he had stage 4 cancer, so perhaps it was for the best). When he was released, a new bishop was called, who had only been in our ward for two months. Seventeen months later, he was released after accepting a job in Qatar (yes, Qatar). And now we're on bishop #4, who, when he was asked to serve, told the stake president that he wasn't happy with his job and was looking for new work, including out of state. They said, "oh that's okay."

I use hedonistic somewhat interchangeably with materialistic in this sense. The largest homes, the latest fashions, the "bigger and better" attitude, the plastic surgery, are all things I've observed prevalently. Also note that on that item, I said, "Utah is highly hedonistic" and not "Mormons are highly hedonistic."

I gave fair warning, and tried to end on positive things. :) Oh I'm sure there is. That's why I added in my disclaimer. My opinions in this area are not reflective of the norm. That said, the OP is planning to attend BYU. So as pertains to this discussion, those are the relevant areas.

Sorry...I really went off on a tangent there. This is something that really bothers me, obviously. But it has little or nothing to do with the thread and topic at hand. Carry on!

There is one young lady in my ward who is almost 17 (in a few weeks). She is on her fourth YW President. Having been one of those four, and having been released abruptly (5 minutes before Sacrament meeting started) and without good reason (great relationship with girls, had been in less than 2.5 years, wasn't moving, wasn't having a baby, etc.), it makes me absolutely livid. The youth, more than any other group, need non-parental adults that they can trust and build relationships with. I worked so hard to do that for my girls. It's not fair to them to toss their leaders around willy-nilly. A quick rundown of my ward. I've been here just over 6.5 years. In that time, we have had: -four bishops -five YW Presidents -four RS Presidents -at least four EQ Presidents -five Primary Presidents -seven or eight (seriously, I've lost count) YM Presidents So maybe you (rhetorical) can understand why this is justifiably something about which I say I am "absolutely livid."

I was going to say "every other," but realized that was probably exaggeration. The last two times I was in Utah, those were the only billboards I seemed to see. Maybe it's because I'm not accustomed to them, they stood out more. I've talked with other people who don't live in Utah, but visit from time to time, and they've observed the same thing. Coming from many other areas, it will feel like at least one in three. That number may be high, but it is very noticeable.

That's not unique to the Philippines. It's endemic in the States as well, within Girl Scouting. I know this from my own years as a girl in Girl Scouting, as well as my current role as a troop leader. Sounds like you probably didn't starting Girl Scouts until you were older, and I can see how it would be a turn-off. I stuck with Scouting because I was in it since kindergarten and I loved it. If I had started later, I might not have gotten as hooked.

I agree with everything you said except for this. I agree that a Scoutmaster/Cubmaster should have a long calling. I don't think it's the only person in the ward, though. :) Other callings I can think of that can/should have a longer tenure than bishop: -Young Women President -Young Men President -Ward clerk -Executive Secretary (possibly)

You're right. And Personal Progress isn't for everyone but that's how it's treated. If the Church had its own program for Young Men, separate from Scouting, it still would be for everyone, but that's still how it would be treated. So again, as Backroads said, what's your point?