Janice

It seems that no matter how hard I try to be agreeable, someone is telling me I'm being disagreeable. It seems that no matter how nice I try to be, someone is telling me I'm not being nice. It seems that no matter how clearly I try and state my point of view, someone implies meaning in my words that I never, ever intended. My entire purpose for my original post in this thread was to tell Connie that I AGREE WITH HER!! I am fairly new to LDS Mormon Network, and to the world of online forums & blogs in general. I am finding conversation on this web site, in it's entirety, to be a frustrating experience. Seems that no matter what I say, someone is picking my words apart and telling me how wrong I am. Once in a while I would not mind... in fact, I would welcome it. But when it happens with almost every post, it get's old. Especially when I am actually trying to tell people, "Right! I agree!" and then that person turns around and says, "No, you don't agree." I think I prefer Feminist Mormon Housewives to this site. But, sorry Apple and Connie. I'm not leaving. Janice

I am happy to see that Mormon Doctrine is still quoted from time to time. It seems this book has gone into a hiding of sorts since it came to light that some of it's contents are not, in fact, actual Mormon Doctrine but the opinion of Bruce R. McConkie.... but for me this has never changed the fact that I find it a wonderful resource. More specifically to 1 Nephi 14:7 and the New and Everlasting Covenant: Thank you Pam, for the reference as to why it's both "new" and "everlasting". I had not previously fully understood this. Janice

Christ has the right to do some things that you and I don't, like issuing final judgments. In that context, we can't, and should not presume, to follow Christ in *all* things. Ok, thanks for agreeing that we agree! I thought we agreed all along. Mine too. I didn't feel anyone said this. I think we agreed on this all along. Agreed. Dove and MissingSomething have both emphasized the need to judge *with righteousness* and, above all, to lead by righteous example. I really think we agreed on this all along. I sometimes feel like you twist the words of others, or read into them meanings that were never there, but If I am wrong, I honestly beg your forgiveness. Janice EDIT: I juust re-read my own post and realized it sounded much more contentious then I meant it too. I went back and tried to soften it up.

Rico, thank you for raising this issue. Ok, it's possible that I have this memory kicking around in my head that is not a real memory, but it seems that I recall having someone read a letter from the FP.... this would have been sometime around 1988/89... that said this doctrine had been changed, and that in the event a widow was sealed to her first husband, she could again marry in the temple for time AND eternity with her second husband as well. But, since then, I've never heard anything more about this, and I have known young LDS widows who have been frustrated at the prospect of finding a new husband because he'll have to settle for a time only wedding. This has been a little splinter in the back of my mind that I keep thinking one day I should solve, but it rarely comes up. Now that it has come up, however, I'm curious if anyone else recalls such a letter, or knows with surety what the official doctrine is. Thanks, Janice

Connie, I am still hoping that you can offer some insight into how, by quoting Elder Oaks, I gave the impression that I am confused on the difference between judging and condemning. Thanks, Janice

I agree with MissingSomething.... should've thought of this hymn myself! It's perfect! And Dove, I would LOVE to see your entire post that somehow vanished. I know it can be frustrating to put effort into writing something and then have it be gone... the idea of re-writing it is unpleasant. But I would so love to hear your thoughts. Janice

Well said Apple. If, on the topic of judging others, you feel I need some correction, I welcome your insight. Janice

I avidly agree with everything you said, MissingSomething. Thank you. And, if I read Dove right, I think she agrees with you on this as welll... I think she was saying the same thing you were, just different words. Janice

I agree, Dove. I can't sat it any better then Elder Oaks did in his example: As in this example, we may see someone doing something that we think is wrong. In making that judgment call *we* might be wrong, we might be right.... we don't actually know. But, as Elder Oaks explained, unless it's our stewardship, we perhaps aught not take it upon ourselves to correct that person. And we we would most certainly be out of line to condemn that person. Christ advised us to not cast our pearls before the swine. Good advice. Yet we can do this without pointing an accusing finger and declaring out loud "You're a pig!" We can choose to quietly keep our pearls to ourselves, or share them with someone we deem worthy. In doing so we are judging, but we are not over stepping our bounds and telling someone outside our stewardship how they aught to live their lives. Janice

I just re-read my last post along with the quotes two times, and I honestly can not figure out why you feel this way. I don't at all think they are the same thing. Can you further explain? Agree 100%. As I said: "I prefer to err on the side on *not* judging and let those who's job it is to judge and correct do the judging and correcting." I am okay with judgment from those who are called and set apart to judge. It's their calling. But as I am *not* called to be a judge (maybe other then with my own kids) I prefer to err on the side of not doing it. I ask this with all respect... did I say something to indicate that I don't understand what condemnation is? I am not sure why you felt I needed to be educated on what it means. If I read your post wrong, please let me know. All I'm saying is that I agree with Oaks. From time to time we are required to make judgment calls, but we must be very careful about telling someone they are in the wrong. And we must never tell someone they are going to hell. Hopefully this explains a little better where i am coming from. Janice

Indeed! A quote from the article: I confess, I had never thought of judgment in this way, but it does make one think. Here's what I'm thinking... Do not cast pearls before swineBeware of false prophetsGo ye our from the wickedI can obey all of these instructions without making an attempt to tell the swine that they are swine, the false prophet that he is false, or the wicked that they are wicked. In all cases, I can simply walk away without saying a word. It is not always our place to correct those who are in the wrong. Elder Oaks: All too often when we want to judge AND correct someone, we do so without full knowledge of the other person's situation. Elder Oaks: Elder Oaks also reminds us of the teachings of King Benjamin: So, all in all, I get nervous when we tell each other that we have a duty to judge wrong and to correct it. I, personally, am not ready to assume that I know all the facts, that I know better then the person who seems to be doing wrong, and that I am in the proper position to both judge and offer correction. I prefer to err on the side on *not* judging and let those who's job it is to judge and correct do the judging and correcting. Janice

Beautiful post, Honor. Thank you.

I am with you on this one! I welcome the idea of sharing my work load. But only, of course, if I am the *FIRST* wife! Janice

Hemi, I must ask your forgiveness. When I read this post I pictured you as the person in the ward who always takes it upon themselves to tell everyone else how they aught to be living their lives. It's possible I have misunderstood what you are saying, and if so, I hope you will explain further. But even if I've not misunderstood, I still have no right to decide what kind of person you are from a few posts on this forum, and for doing so I am wrong. To answer your question, "As a member of the church, if you see wrong, what do you say?" I would say: Too many unknown variables. Who is "wrong"? What if it's the Bishop? Is it our place to correct him? How about the Stake President? A General Authority? Or maybe it's just a no-name brother or sister who holds no special calling... is it okay to correct them? What is the situation? Did an annoying visiting teacher stay for hours while all the time talking about her own personal problems? Is some clueless parent not removing a crying child from Sacrament meeting? Is there someone who gets up every single fast meeting and gives a 20 minute journal entry? Did a teacher in Sunday School teach slightly false doctrine? Did a teacher in Sunday School teach seriously false doctrine? Is a Scout Leader taking single boys on outings with no other leader? Is someone committing adultery? "Wrong" comes in many, many different shades, and I am not not comfortable making a blanket statements that we all have a duty to correct "wrong" when we see it. Janice

You make a good point. We *are* required to forgive all men. If we are judged, we aught to forgive. Yet I guess I don't see any harm in trying to not judge in the first place.

Well said. Thanks.

Wow. Really?

Thank you! And happy birthday!

Not a problem at all. :) I figured you had just not thought that statement all the way through. Thanks for having the humility to say "Oops". And your first post in this thread, as I said, I agree with 100%. Thanks, Janice.

Seems I usually agree with you, LittleWyvern, but in this case I'll take a little exception. I am not concerned with the infallibility of the prophet... it doesn't matter to me one way or the other. If he was good enough for the Lord then he's good enough for me. I see it this way: When the prophet speaks at General Conference or in the Ensign, he is giving the best possible instruction for the maximum number of Saints, and I believe our initial reaction should be one of acceptance and obedience. Please note that I said "initial". I also feel strongly (and I know that many disagree) that after our initial striving to be obedient, we also have both a duty and responsibility to seek a conformation for ourselves personally. I'm not so concerned about things like wearing one or two earrings. On that one (and others like it) I would have simply removed my second earring right there in the meeting, if I wore one. I am more concerned about life altering decisions, such as, in my life, the choice to have a career outside the home. If I were to be blindly, exactly and perfectly obedient to the Prophet w/o ever having ever questioned, I never would have gone to work. As I've shared in other threads, however, my hubby and I put the issue to prayer, fasting, temple attendance, and chats with the stake president. Our mutual conclusion (including the SP's) was that the right thing for me to do was seek employment outside the home. Being exactly obedient is doing what the Lord tells you to do right now, today. Most of the time this falls in line with what the Prophet has told the entire membership at G.C. or in the Ensign. But not always. It's the "but not always" times for which we have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost and personal revelation. Janice

Ah! I see Dymmesdale beat me to it! Sorry everyone! Dymmesdale, Please don't respond to all 50 instances (or the 200+ on the linked site). I am not interested in an itemized response. My point is only to show that contradictions exist in both. You seem to have no problem offering explanations for contradictions in the Bible, but yet at the same time you also seem to reject our explanations for those in the Book of Mormon. Janice

Because of the length of the quote, I could only post the first 50 offered from this source. For many more: The Bible and Contradictions Within

I won't put all of this into quotes, as it would be too hard to read. Everything below the dotted line is a quote from: The Bible and Contradictions Within Much has been said lately about contradictions between the Bible and Book of Mormon, the implication being that the Book of Mormon must not be inspired or there would be no contractions. Given this same logic, we must also assume that the Bible is also not inspired. But personally, I choose to reject this logic, and I still accept both as the Word of God. I understand that both books are a collection of the writings of inspired prophets, and even if a few things don't seem to mesh 100%, such inconsistencies do not change the fact God commanded these men to write, and they did. They wrote both for the benefit of the people of their times as well as for us today. We will all benefit if we read these writings, pray and ponder over them, and then incorporate their teachings into our lives. Everything below is quoted: ---------------------------------------------------- Scholars have estimated that the Bible contains over two thousand explicit or implicit contradictions. Some are major, some trivial: this list is only a small selection. Through history, attmpts to resolve these contradictions have produced thousands of volumes, few of which agree. And in the process, men have spilled thousands of gallons of blood. Yet, the contradictions remain. What do you make of them? Perhaps the best answer is the simplest: that the Bible is not all the perfect, infallable word of God. Interestingly, the Bible itself confirms this. It tells us that all scripture is by inspiration of God (II Timothy 3:16), but also tells us that some of its parts are not from divine inspiration (I Corinthians 7:6. 5:12: II Corinthians 11:17). What could be clearer? Please understand the purpose of this booklet. It is not to make believers into non-believers, but simply to make some non-questioners into questioners. CONTRADICTIONS (This first item is apparent in the KJ version. but much clearer in other translations, such as the New American Bible.) 1 At least two Creation stories appear in the Bible, and they disagree. The first is in Genesis 1:1 to 2:3, the second in the remainder of Chapter 2. In the first version, God (Elohim in the manuscripts) created men & women on the same day (1:27). subsequent to the creation of all animals (1:25). In the second version, God (Jehovah) created Adam first (2:7). then animals & birds (2:19). then Eve (2:22). In the first version. trees appeared before man (1:11): in the second. the world was barren of vegetation at the time of man's creation (2:5). and plantlife was created later (2:8-9). Compare these with Genesis 5:1-2, a third creation story, which strongly suggests the simultaneous creation of man & woman. It states that at the time of the creation of men and women. God blessed them and called them "man" (in the Hebrew text, adam). Most translators and Bible scholars candidly admit the differences in the Creation stories. and call the first two the Priestly and the Yahwehist versions. (In particular, see the New American Bible and its fine commentary.) The versions differ strongly in texture and language as #ell as content. ln some translations, however, verb tenses are subtly altered to conceal the problems. (This item is clearest in the New International Bible and the Revised KJ Bible.) 2 Genesis 6:4 The Nephilim (Giants) lived on earth prior to the Flood. Genesis 7:23 Only Noah and his family, and the animals on the Ark, survived the Flood. Numbers 13:33 Long after the Flood, the Nephilim (Giants) still lived. 3 Genesis 9:3-4 God makes a covenant with Noah: Mankind will be permitted to eat the flesh of any living creature, as long as the blood is drained. Deuteronomy 14:7-20 God goes back on his word. 4 Genesis 11:1,6-9 In the days of Babel, generations after the Flood, the world had one common language. God "confused the tongues" to create many. Genesis 10:5 Prior to this. the Bible speaks of many "nations", each with its own language. Some apologists suggest the Babel story was a "flashback"; the events in Genesis 11:1-9 actually occured prior to those in Genesis 10:5. It's possible, but nothing in the source manuscripts support it. The narrative link at the beginning of Chapter 11 is the same which elsewhere is translated as "and", and invaribly implies a normal sucession of events. 5 Exodus 4:11 God admitted He is the cause of blindness. deafness. dumbness. Isaiah 53:2 It is sometimes God's will to crush people or to cause them to suffer. Lamentations 3:33 Yet, God does not willingly cause grief or affliction. (In the KJ version:) 6 Genesis 15:13.16 God fortold the enslavement of the descendants of Abram (Abraham). but said they would return in the "fourth generation". The return actually occured in the fifth generation--or the sixth. if you wish to count Abraham. The generations were: 1. Abraham: 2. Isaac (Gen 21:3): 3. Levi (Ex 1:3); 4. Kohath (Ex 6:16); 5. Aram (Ex 6:18): 6. Moses (Ex 6:20). Genesis 11:26.32 Terah lived 135 years after begetting Abraham. Acts 7:4 Abraham departed Haran when his father (Terah) was dead. Genesis 12:4 Abraham was 75 years old when he departed Haran. Thus, after living 135 years. Abraham was only 75 years old! (In the KJ version:) 7 Genesis 23:1 God tempted Abraham. James 1:13 God tempts no one. 8 Who brought Joseph to Egypt and sold him to Potiphar, the courtier of Pharaoh? Genesis 37:38,36 The Midianites. Geneis 39:1 The Ishmaelites. 9 Exodus 3:10. 4:19-23 God sent Moses to Egypt to speak to Pharaoh. Exodus 4:24-26 God immediately and arbitrarily attempted to kill Moses before Moses could carry out the mission. No explanation provided. 10 Exodus 9:3-6 God killed all the cattle (field animals) of the Egyptians with a grevious murrain. including the horses. asses, camels, oxen and sheep. None survived the plague. Exodus 9:19-21,25 Later. at least some of the Egyptian field animals were mysteriously alive again, to suffer a plague of hail. 11 Exodus 6:2-3 God informed Moses that previousiy His name (Jehovah) had been unknown even to the patriarchs. such as Abraham. Isaac and Jacob. Genesis 4:26 long before this. men began to call on the name of the Lord, "Jehovah". Genesis 22:14 Abraham named a place Jehovah-jireh. "The Lord will provide." Note: In each passage in the Pentateuch manuscripts. the name given is Yod-He-Vau-He, YHVH. generally interpreted as "Yahweh", "Yehovah" or "Jehovah". 12 Exodus 20:4 Image-making forbidden. Exodus 25:18 Commanded. 13 Exodus 20:13 Murder forbidden. Exodus 23:27 Commanded. 14 Exodus 20:15 Stealing forbidden. Exodus 3:21-22 Commanded. 15 Exodus 20:16 Lying forbidden. I Kings 22:20 Commanded. 16 Leviticus 11:6 The Bible maintains that hares chew cud, like cows. They do not. 17 leviticus 11:21-23 Also, that locusts. beetles and grasshoppers have four legs. 18 Leviticus 3:17, 11:1-47 God gave many rules about what may be eaten or handled. Colossians 2:21-22 Such rules come from man, not God. 19 Leviticus 19:15 You must judge your neighbor. Matthew 7:1 Judge not. (In the KJ version:) 20 Numbers 23:19; I Samuel 15:29 God does not repent. Genesis 6:6; Exodus 32:14: I Samuel 15:11.35: Psalms 42:10: Jonah 3:10 God does repent. 21 Numbers 23:19: Titus 1:2 God cannot lie. I Kings 22:20-30: II Chronicles 18:19-22 God deliberately sent a "lying spirit" into the mouth of Ahab's prophets. II Thessalonians 2:11-12 God sends delusions on people to make them believe false things and be damned. Ezekiel 13:9. 14:9 The Lord deceives prophets (puts false words into their mouths) in order to get rid of them. 22 Numbers 31:7.9,15-18 The Israelites slew all the Midianites. except some of the female children. Judges 6:1.5 Later. the Midianites invaded the Israelites. 23 Numbers 33:37-42 Aaron died on Mount Hor, on the border of Edom. Immediately thereafter. the Israelites went to Zalmonah and Punon. Deuteronomy 10:6-7 Aaron died in Moserah. Right after that, the Israelites traveled to Gudgodah and Jotbathah. (See also Deut 32:50.) 24 Deuteronomy 6:5: Matthew 22:37 We must love God. Deuteronomy 6:13: I Peter 2:17 We must fear God. I John 4:18 Perfect love cannot be mingled with fear. 25 Who inscribed the Ten Commandments on the second set of stone tablets? Deuteronomy 10:1-2.4 God inscribed them. Exodus 34:27-28 God dictated whiie Moses inscribed them. 26 Joshua 8:28 Joshua burnt the city of Ai, making it an ash heap forever. Nehemiah 7:32 Ai still exists as a city. 27 Joshua 10:38-39 Joshua utterly destroyed the inhabitants of Debir; he did not leave a living soul. Joshua 15:15,17; Judges 1:1,11,13 Othniel the son of Kenaz conquored Debar. It's evident that this was after Joshua's death. 28 Judges 4:21 Jael killed Sisera by driving a tent stake through his head while he slept, fastening his head to the ground. Judges 5:26-27 When Jael killed Sisera. he sank to the ground at her feet. and died. 29 I Samuel 15:7-8,20 Saul completely destroyed the Amalekites. I Samuel 27:8-9 Then David completely destroyed the Amalekites. I Samuel 30:1-2,17 Later, David destroyed a raiding party of Amalekites. Only 400 men escaped. I Chronicles 4:42-43 Finally the Simeonites killed all the Amalekites. 30 I Samuel 16:10.11 Jesse had seven sons besides his youngest, David. I Chronicles 2:13-15 David was the seventh son. 31 How did King Saul become acquainted with David? Two contradictory accounts: I Samuel 16:18-23 Saul met David when David entered Saul's servce as a royal harper. David was a warrior. A servant informed Saul of the identity of David's father. Thereafter David remained in Saul's service as both harper and armor bearer. I Samuel 17:14-15,26,31-32,55-56, 18:1-2 David was a shepherd, and unlike his brothers did not follow Saul to war. Saul sent for him. having heard that David was asking about the reward for killing Goliath. Saul did not know the identity of David's father, and had to ask. Thereafter David remained in Saul's service and did not return home. 32 I Samuel 28:6 Saul attempted to consult the Lord. I Chronicles 10:13-14 Saul did no such thing. 33 How did King Saul die? I Samuel 31:4-6: I Chronicles 10:4-5 He committed suicide. II Samuel 1:8-10 An Amalekite slew him. II Samuel 21:12 The Philistines slew him. 34 How many horsemen did David take from Hadadezer? II Samuel 8:4 Seven hundred. I Chronicles 18:4 Seven thousand. 35 II Samuel 10:18 David slew 700 Aramean charioteers and 40,000 horsemen. I Chronicles 19:18 He slew 7000 Aramean charioteers and 40,000 footmen. 36 II Samuel 24:9 & I Chronicles 21:5 Contrary census totals for Israel. 37 I Kings 6:2: II Chronicles 3:3 The size of Solomon's temple was about ninety feet by thirty feet by fourty-five feet high. I Chronicles 23:4 And yet, managing it required 23.000 servants. 38 How many chiefs or officers did Solomon have to oversee the people? I Kings 9:23 Five hundred fifty. II Chronicles 8:10 Two hundred fifty. 39 I Kings 16:6,8 Baasha, King of Israel. died in the 26th year of Asa's reign over Judah. II Chronicles 16:1 In the 36th year of Asa's reign, Baasha built a city. 40 I Chronicles 21:1 Satan "rose up" against Israel and incited King David to take a census. II Samuel 24:1 It was God who directly incited the census (apparently seeking an excuse to vent anger on Israel). In both versions, God responded by killing thousands of Israelites (I Chron 21:7 onward & II Samuel 24:15 onward). In both versions, David criticised God for slaughtering so many innocents (I Chron 21:17, II Samuel 24:17). 41 II Samuel 24:24 King David paid 50 shekels of silver for the threshing floor, oxen, wheat, etc.. which he appropriated for ceremonial purposes. I Chronicles 21:1 He paid 600 shekels of gold. (Most explicit in the New American Bible and the International Bible:) 42 I Samuel 17:23.50-51 David slew the Philistine, Goliath of Gath. II Samuel 21:19 Elhanan son of Jair slew Goliath of Gath. Note: In the standard KJ translation, the story is altered in the second instance, so that Elhanan slays the cousin of Goliath; the prevarication is disclosed by the italics in most editions. The contradiction stands in the source texts. See any good Bible commentary. (Clearest in the Revised KJ version:) 43 II Samuel 6:23 Michal. the daughter of Saul, was childless. II Samuel 21:8 She bore five sons. Note: The Authorized (standard) KJ version says Michal "brought up" the five sons. but the more honest Revised KJ version makes it clear that these were her sons by birth. Some other translations substitute "Merab" or "Merob" for Michal in the same passage, but translators and commentators admit that in the majority of Septuagint sources, the name is Michal. 44 (In the New International Bible:) II Kings 1:17 Joram became King of Israel in the second year that Jehoram son of Jehosaphat reigned over Judah. 11 Kings 8:16 Jehoram son of Jehosaphat became King of Judah in the fifth year of Joram's reign over Israel. Note: Joram (son of Ahab). the King of Israel. was also sometimes called Jehoram. Do not confuse him with the other Jehoram (son of Jehosaphat). the King of Judah. Again. see any good commentary. 45 II Kings 9:6-9, 10:11,30 The Lord commanded Jehu to destroy the house of Ahab. Jehu obeyed. destroying everyone in the city of #ezreei who was of the house of Ahab, including friends and priests. God commended him for these actions. Hosea 1:4 God promises to punish the House of Jehu for the massacre. 46 (In the KJ and Revised KJ versions only:) How old was King Ahaziah when he began to reign? II Kings 8:26 22 years old. II Chronicles 22:2 42 years old. 47 II Kings 16:5 King Ahaz of Judah (Jerusalem) was not conquered by the kings of Israel and Syria. (See also Isaiah 7:1-7. in which God prophesied that Israel and Syria will fail to conquor Jerusalem.) II Chronicles 28:5-6 The kings of Israel and Syria did conquer him. 48 II Kings 23:29-30 King Josiah was slain at Magiddo. Servants brought his dead body to Jerusalem. II Chronicles 35:22-24 He was wounded at Magiddo. Servants brought him alive to Jerusalem, where he died. 49 II Kings 25:19-20 Nebuzaradan, commander of the invading Babylonian army, took five royal advisors as prisoners. Jeremiah 52:25-26 He took seven advisors as prisoners. 50 Compare Ezra 2:1-67 with Nehemiah 7:6-68 to find a number of contradictions. Each passage purports to be a comprehensive list, by family unit, of the inhabitants of Jerusalem who returned from Babylonian captivity. Compare numbers for each family: fourteen of them disagree. Moreover the addition is wrong. Both Ezra and Nehemiah put the total at 42,360 plus 2,337 servants. but simple addition shows it to be 29,818 in Ezra, and 31.089 in Nehemiah.

Dymmesdale, I am confused as to your motives in this thread. What are you hoping to accomplish? Do you want us all to say, "Wow. Thanks. I never realized how wrong the Book of Mormon is. Sure is a good thing you came along so we can all stop living in ignorance." What is it you want from us? While you are doing your Google searches, perhaps you could do one on contradictions within the Bible itself, and start a new thread with all of the flaws that exist in the Bible. You can keep going with this current angle if you want... pointing out more of your perceived problems with the Book of Mormon, but in case you have not yet noticed, nobody here seems to be biting. Janice

It looks like I am a late-comer to this thread. I've read it with interest and I've enjoyed the wide variety of responses. For what it's worth, I'll add my $00.02. I think the fact that he is doing this in front of you is a good sign.... he doesn't seem to think it's naughty. It's my opinion that perhaps the worst thing you can do for him is to somehow cast shame or guilt on him for doing this. I *do not* think a "KNOCK IT OFF" is the right approach. All this will do is make him think "Knock WHAT off? What was I doing wrong?" If he gets the sense that this behavior makes mommy mad, or is somehow naughty, then he'll just keep doing it when you are not looking. As others have said... talk to him. Don't talk down to him. Use the real words. "Penis" and not "pee pee". Explain to him that if his penis itches, he should go to the bathroom and wash it. Explain also that if he's doing this because it feels good, that he needs to be careful because these parts of our bodies are special, and we need to take care to treat them with respect. I would avoid any words that might have a negative connotation, such as "private". Kids hear things differently then we do... to them, "private" means embarrassment or naughty. (I cringe when I hear parents refer to genitals as "private parts".) And stay right away from words like dirty, gross, naughty, etc. Focus instead on uplifting words: special, respect, etc. As you talk, use the same tone of voice you would use in discussing a topic like what's for dinner, or what book should we read. If you whisper or lower your voice or in any way act like his behavior is deviant, he will pick up on this and begin to form very negative, demeaning, and damaging ideas about his genitals. If you choose to ask the doctor about it, be prepared for him/her to roll their eyes and tell you to stop worrying. Bottom line: It's not something to worry too much about, and yeah, it's pretty normal. But it should be addressed. The key is to not react in a way that he will perceive as negative. In case you are still reading, hope that helps. Janice