StrawberryFields

Pretty cool huh?

Thanks for sharing your story Pushka.It is really amazing the amount of people who have had injury to their brain. I am happy that your situation turned out so well. You have a great friend who felt inspired to visit you despite your hesitations. In the past six months, I have learned more about brain injuries then any other subject. One thing that I found most interesting is the inside of our skulls are not smooth like the outside. On the inside they are sharp and jagged, that is why any impact to the head has the potential to become serious.

I don't pray, but you're definitely in my thoughts, SF. You're very strong, and I admire you. Thanks Jenifer, I also am a firm believer in the ability to send positive energy to those in need. The day of the accident I was in a real mess (hysterical basically). One of the triage nurses came by my side and asked me to tell her about my son. She listened as I told her what a great child he was and then she asked me a question. She said, "Do you really want to be able to help your son?" I said, "Oh yes, more then anything else in the world". She said, "Take all of that energy you are focusing on yourself and give it to your son". At that moment my direction changed as I did what she suggested. That was the moment I began to walk in faith... as I gave Nicks care to my Father In Heaven.

I have something important to ask of you, my friends, at LDSTalk. This Wednesday, February 2, Nick will be having a very serious surgery where they will be working very close to his brain and his eyes. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer as I have mentioned. I would be grateful if you would take a minute and offer a prayer for my son Nick and his surgeon. Thank you, SF

Thanks, I can ask for nothing more.I will be away from my computer until Sunday night, we are going away as a family for the weekend. Thanks to all three of you for serving up such a great helping of support.

Thanks Ladies for the nourishment. :) On Wednesday February 2 Nick will be having a major surgery. First they will need to do a bone graph to retrieve the bone for this surgery. They will remove bone from his hip or his rib cage. They will open him back up over the same scar that he had before. This scar goes from his ear to his other ear, over the top of his head. They will then pull down the "flap" or his face to expose the metal plate that is covering his brain; this plate will be covered with bone. They will next rebuild his nose which was shattered with the explosion, and use more bone to do this. After the have finished rebuilding his nose they will need to attach it to his forehead where they have just covered the plate. The will also need to re-break his ocular bones around his eyes before they repair them. On the day of the accident (July 10, 2004), they were more concerned with saving his life, then what the after results would be and I understand that completely. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father and this team of doctors who have done a beautiful job in saving his life and putting him back together. The risks of the surgery are there, and this time I am not in shock like I was before when the accident happened. I know what it feels like to have him, then almost loose him. I feel bad that I have this fear, which I may lack in faith, but this is my son, someone who I have become very protective of. The reality of this is that I have faith in my Heavenly Father and the love he has for my son. I have faith in his doctors. But I still have fear, they are working by a plate that protects his brain, and they are working around his eyes which were protected from the explosion. Infection is a very large concern; if the plate becomes infected they will have to start all over with the brain surgeon. What do I need? Do I need to quit worrying and put all my faith into the Lord and these doctors? If that is what I need to do, then how do I do that? Being human sure gets in the way at times.

This is the part that drives me crazy. How long will she remain young, and still be a California 10? What happens when her beauty fades? (I guess a California 10 is somehow different then a Utah 10?)

Why is it sad if a man that makes a lot of money can attract a really good looking woman? What is sad about that? It's just a matter of supply and demand. Unfortuately, it really ticks off the homely women, who can't attract a guy who makes a lot of money--and so they resent it and have to go make their own money. I'm not saying this is the way it SHOULD be, I'm just reporting what generally happens in the world. Obviously there are lots of exceptions to this, but both men and women should be aware that this is the way a huge number of people think. Cal,Thanks for the compliment. Really, my point was to show your argument reversed...from the point of a shallow and arrogant woman. Cal, you did indicate that if a woman lack in areas of looks and performance AFTER a marriage she would "have problems". Now do you understand? The scenario just doesn't look as good to you when it is reversed, you couldn't even recognize it. MOST women DON'T many for money as I indicated in my own personal experience. Even if my husband had not become successful I would have stayed with him because he is still as wonderful as the day I feel in love with him. Just so that it is clear women like men, are first attracted to men because they posses a certain charisma, and if he treats her right, she will follow him just about anywhere. Where do you think the phrase of "Trophy Wife" came from? A trophy is something that it usually won through a competition. A trophy is something you show to your friends a say, "Look what I won" If a man marries an average looking woman does that mean that he is only average? I think that most couples are equally matched in the looks department. It may be that the better looking men seem to be more successful and that does seem to play a role in our society. Many times people will be hired on their looks. Society has placed a lot of standards on us that we have no control over. Models have set an unreasonable standard for women. If you look at art from long ago you will see nearly naked voluptuous women and that is what was considered beauty. Why do women have to be a size 2 to be considered thin, I think that a more reasonable size would be an 8-10, with the average being about a 14. Where are the standards for men? Of course these are just my opinions; just as you have yours based on your own life experiences. I am happy that you have been able to find happiness within your present marriage. BTW, the caps are used for emphasis, not shouting.

I now see why you have the strong feeling you do about this topic. I have just recently seen this occur to a young man in our ward, but never before. This girl came from a home where they had an abundance of "stuff". Her father is a doctor and she expected the fairy tale marriage right off the bat. Poor girl will search her entire life and never find real happiness. The reason is that happiness doesn't necessarily fall into the pot of gold. Happiness is something that isn't tangible; it is something you create from the inside out. Cal, are you still teaching?

I don't think he makes much money at all; he can't even afford a suit big enough to cover the poor girl! I hope the man you are referring to isn't yourself! I mean, really at your age!

Great post Pushka. I am happy to see you posting more. I agree that some men were just born shallow, or maybe this is learned behavior? Either way it turns into the selfishness I mentioned earlier in this thread. It is very sad to me that many men feel that they need a trophy wife to aid in their self esteem. When a couple marries they don't have any idea what their life will bring them. 1. Maybe they will get a few lucky breaks and make a lot of money. 2. Maybe they will have lots of hardships early on in life and never seem to get into the fast track where money is plentiful. In example number 1, if the woman becomes the major money maker should she kick her less attractive husband to the curb because there is another man who is better looking or could further her career? I have not heard of this happening before. In example number 2, if a woman married a less attractive man because she felt that he would get her the finer things in life, but failed, should she leave him? well maybe...j/k. I agree with Jenda, women don't marry men because of money or the potential of money, they marry because of love. I married my husband because I fell in love with him my senior year in high school, he was the president of our seminary class. He has a great personality and he is very kind to others. I didn't realize it at the time, but those are still the traits he carries with him and have made him successful in his career. When I married my husband he had just returned from his mission and the first job that he got was one that paid less then mine but I didn't care. As we began to have children I learned that my husband wanted to be the one to support the family, so I consented to stay home for a time. I encouraged my husband to grasp that next brass ring at every opportunity that arose. We shared in his successes and we still do as he has done well. Do I love him more because he has done well? No, I love him more because we have done this together and the trials that we have shared bond us, and strengthen our relationship. Our love has been a strong foundation to build upon and I remember those early years with a smile on my face. I wonder if the person who started this thread is even still around, and if this is what they had in mind.

Heck YES we DO!

This is true, but many men just do not grasp this concept. How do I know this? Comments just like the one above from curvette.

I don't know - I thought I usually posted by myself, (but I think I know what you mean). M. Too Funny!

That's too bad. Jenda, did you contact him?

What planet were you born on, sis? There is no such thing as "selflessness". Yes, you are considerate of the other person's needs. Why, because you want something in return, and have a right to expect it----that is not selflessness, it is indeed, selfish, but it is not UNREASONABLE selfishness. It is reasonable to want for yourself, things like kindness from the other person, and you have the right to expect the other to fulfill your reasonable needs. That is why women need to put out and men need to get a job, as a general rule. If either party renegs on the deal, it has a good chance of falling apart. It's not about selfishness or unselfishness, its about understanding reasonable expectations, and fulfilling them. Let's put it this way, most men don't need an "unselfish" doormat of a wife. They want a wife that gets a lot of selfish pleasure out of pleasing him--in other words, she likes sex too. There is nothing worse than making love to a corpse. Cal, you seem to know so much about what it takes not to have a divorce. Do you have a healthy marriage to a woman? Have you been through a divorce? You have a way of SHOUTING in your posts that just doesn't radiate a healthy attitude about relationships.

Nice, and I agree that the Lord uses those who place themselves into a spirit of being useful.

So will you go again this April?

In a good marriage, the Me or I don't show up in the ways some have listed above. I believe that selfishness is what leads to divorce.

While I think it is great that God has given many this testimony, I agree, Amillia. The records are supposed to be proved by the world, not the church (or those in the church). My first thought was similar to Amillias. Then I thought about the tablet coming out and what it might prove. As Kevinb93 was telling of his experience I tried to envision it as it might have happened. What I got from this is that he, who is a "just a guy who is following the direction of the Spirit as best he can" received a special power or witness when holding this tablet. I don't mean to take away from his experience in any way but this is the kind of stuff that we would see in a movie like Raiders Of The Lost Ark. So many thoughts are rushing around in my head of the thought that this could be true. Modern technology has produced so many ways of communication including the WWW. I think about if this were available in the time of Joseph Smith, how his message might have been received. Then I think of how many people we have had "drop into" our website here, stir things up, and then they are gone. Jenda, your comment about the world proving the records... where does that come from? How do you think it works in this situation?

Can you tell more about this revelation?

Please make it filled with lots of courage...Nick will be in surgery one week from today.

Last night on the TV show Super nanny they showed a child with a "staying in bed" problem. They put him to bed and then sat on the floor a few feet from the bed. It was important for them to avoid eye contact with the child. Each night they did this while moving closer to the door. It worked in the end and the parents were able to get their sleep.

Pushka is right you really need to seek help. How about your family, that is the first place I would start. Maybe the help could come from your bishop. I can see that you really want to get help by how open you are in your posts. Continue to read and pray, but please also see a good doctor.

Where did Ray go?