funkenheimer

Does it really matter? Honestly ask yourself if it makes any difference which sins are worse than others. It is sin that keeps us from returning to our Father in Heaven. It is sin that keeps us from achieving exaltation and it is sin that keeps families apart through the eternities. The only way to overcome this is by repentance, no matter what the sin. Once we have done all we can, then through the mercy of the Savior and through the atonement we can overcome sin. If we fail on earth and do not repent of our sins, and are therefor forced to spend the eternities in a lesser kingdom, does it really matter which sin is worse?

1. What is your favorite color? Blue (Cougar blue to be specific) 2. Where were you born? Payson, Utah 3. Did you serve a mission and if so where? Germany Frankfurt from 94-96 4. Married or single? divorced 5. What is your favorite food? Chile Verde Burrito 6. What is your favorite movie? Gladiator 7. Who is your favorite band? 3 Doors Down (guilty pleasure - 80s hair metal) 8. Do you have children? 2 daughters 9. Who is your favorite author? Charles Dickens 10. What is your hobby? fly fishing, camping, hunting 11. What is your idea of the perfect vacation? fishing with my daughters 12. What is your favorite city? Heidelberg, Germany 13. What is your favorite sports team? Green Bay Packers, BYU Cougars, Utah Jazz 14. What kind of car do you drive? 2006 Ford Focus 15. What was the first car you owned? 1984 Dodge Aries 16. What calling do you hold in church? Webelos Leader, 10-11 yr old primary class 17. If you could travel anywhere in the world that you have not been to before, where would it be? South America, Africa, Australia - I want to visit all continents 18. What is your favorite tv show? The Office, 24 19. What is your current favorite restaurant? Los Amigos (local dive) 20. What event in your life gave you the biggest rush? Tower of Terror at Disneyland (not too adventurous)

First of all, its better to go to a different ward than not go at all. Having said that, I would be more concerned with why I am not able to feel the spirit in my current ward. Is there someone who has offended me? If I feel unwelcome or uncomfortable, why do I feel that way? Have you talked to your bishop about these concerns? He may be able to engage some of the ward leaders and have them help you feel more welcome. In the end if you still want to go to a different ward that is an option. It is preferred that you go to the ward in which you live, but I don't think it is a rule per say.

I completely disagree. I don't think the commandment to bear the name of Christ hinges on whether or not one displays the family proclamation on the wall. What is in your heart is much more important. I hardly think this qualifies as "being bent by the will of men." How can you determine by the original post if she is lying about who she is? Maybe they have had discussions about it? They have talked about it at least to some extent. My 2 cents (again). I, like you, would want to hang it on the wall. But the last thing I would want to do is make my wife feel uncomfortable around her classmates. Express this to her. Trust me, your salvation does not depend on hanging this on the wall.

A few thoughts I had while reading your post. -> It is your house and it is up to you and your wife to decide what goes where. I don't think anyone is questioning that -> Does hanging these now have any affect on your belief in eternal families? -> If you wait a few months until after your wife is done with her film class, does this mean you believe less in eternal families? I really don't see the harm in waiting until the class is over to hang these in the family room. If this reduces the stress in your wife's life what is the harm? Ultimately it has no impact on your salvation. My advice - pick your battles wisely, if it were me - this would not be a battle I would choose. There are much more important decisions you can argue about.

I'm an avid Packer fan, of course I wouldn't be whining about it if it went the other way. Not sure what your point is here.

What a bunch of crap. In the last play of the Packers/Cardinals game there was a blatant facemask penalty that wasn't called. At the very least it was illegal hands to the face. On the play before it was helmet to helmet and that wasn't called either. Twice Fitzgerald ran over the top of Charles Woodsen in order to get open. One of those resulted in a TD. I don't think the poor officiating was the only reason the Packers lost. But to come back from being down 21 points to tie the game in the 4th quarter, only to have the game end like this is disgusting. Worst officiating ever!

I still don't agree that this is an addiction. This is a problem of will power. The video game system is not the problem. The problem is a person's inability to control his/her actions and impulses. I still feel this is a behavioral problem and is only manifest through extensive video games. I play video games. I enjoy them. I play them when I have nothing to do (as a single father this isn't often). To me it is no different that someone sitting down and watching TV when they have nothing else to do.

It doesn't really who coaches the skins at this point. Norv Turner has coached in Washington and was the only head coach in recent history with a winning record. The biggest problem is Dan Snyder. He meddles too much in personnel and coaching decisions. As long as Snyder, or "The Daniel" as he is sometimes referred to, is calling the shots the Redskins will never be able to win. He likes to bring in high profile (and high dollar) free agents that have huge problems off the field. This isn't unique to the Redskins. Look at the teams where owners tend to play a big role in the day to day operation of the team. Al Davis in Oakland, Jerry Jones in Dallas and Dan Snyder in Washington all play active roles with little or no fruit to show for it. Before you bring up Dallas winning their division and making the playoffs, keep in mind they haven't won a playoff game since 1996. This might be the year they break that drought, but the fact remains they have very little to show for their meddling ways. Bottom Line: Shanahan doesn't stand a chance unless Snyder takes a back seat and lets Shanahan call the shots.

I wouldn't wait a month. I would meet with the presiding bishopric member. The sooner you can get this resolved the better.

My problem with Santa is more selfish than those who have posted so far. I work my but off day in and day out and try to save enough money to have a nice Christmas. Having said that....I want the credit for it! Not some fictional character. Having said that my daughters are currently writing thank you cards to Santa, thanking him for all the stuff I bought. Whatever makes them happy.

What a load of crap. First of all this isn't a sweet little 4 year old kid making the decision to donate his long hair to Locks of Love, its his parents decision. A 4 year old does not make this decision without being pushed by his parents. This is he parents calling the shots. A typical 4 year old doesn't know anything about locks of Love or cancer for that matter. His parents led him to this point. My bet is his parents are trying relive their rebellious youth vicariously through there son. Maybe they didn't get enough the first time around.

I don't think I have "Seasonal Affective Disorder". I think mine is called "hates driving in snow disorder". I recommend the following book. The first link I found was at Deseret Book but I know Seagull Book carries it too. DeseretBook.com - Where Can I Turn for Peace This really helped when I was going through my divorce. It has some really good points.

I'm with John Doe, Die Hard is the greatest Christmas move of all time.

It was the strangest thing. I taught my class yesterday with more kids than the previous week and it was one of the best classes I have ever had. Everyone participated and even answered questions when asked. I didn't do anything different in preparation, in fact this week I only had one activity to start the class. Last week I had two. I don't know what the difference was. I do think having activities is the way to go. I try to have some kind of activity or object lesson to start the class each week. I don't think having my 11 year old boys, who are already too cool for class, color would go over very well. Although it might be more effective to record the lesson on my computer, save it as an mp3, then make it available as a podcast. lol

Some good responses so far. However, after I was called the primary president told me specifically that we could not have any activities outside of class on Sundays (no parties). We were also told we could not bring candy unless it pertained specifically that it pertained to the lesson. I don't know that I have the time to really get to know them, most will be gone in just over a month. I like the idea of getting the primary president involved. I had considered getting parents involved as well. I have never been a big fan of public humiliation, but in this case it may be the answer. I also considered having my dad sit in. He is in the bishopric.

I am a little embarrassed to have to even ask for help about this, but here goes. A few months ago I was called to teach the 10 and 11 year old primary class. The class has both boys and girls mixed. When I was called to this position I was told this was a pretty unruly class. It didn't help that the teachers before us (the other male teacher is also new) didn't prepare lessons and instead chose to play hangman each Sunday. I have a pretty extensive background in teaching/training. I worked as a corporate/technical trainer for 7 years at my last job. I have taught primary classes many times and have also taught the Gospel Principles class and served as the technical consultant in a genealogy class. But I have to say, I have never struggled as much as I have with this class. As is expected the boys are a handful and the girls stay pretty quiet. I plan lessons ahead of time and rarely open the manual. I have tried games and various other activities but nothing seems to get their attention. I have tried lecturing when they are noisy but they don't seem to care. They have this "I am too cool for this" attitude. 4 of the boys, who are pretty much the ring leaders, will turn 12 before the end of the year and they will move to a new Sunday School class. Does anyone have any advice besides just riding it out? This seems like a cop out to me and its not fair to those who are quiet and paying attention.

I love playing video games. I love playing many different types of video games. I play with my daughters, I play by myself, I play with my brothers. I sometimes even play with my dad. I am an avid WoW (World of Warcraft) player and been playing for a little more than 2 years now. I have no desire to stop, nor do I feel the need to stop. Having said that, I am recently divorced and I have custody of our 2 daughters so I am finding myself with much less time on my hands than previously. I play video games when I have nothing else to do. To me its no different than someone who watches TV. Here is how I feel about video games. First of all, there is no such thing as video game addiction. It's not possible. Meriam Webster defines addiction as follows: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful The term that most people casually throw around, "video game addiction" is more likely a lack of self control. If I were to stop playing video games tomorrow, which I will NOT do, I would have absolutely no physical symptoms. I might perhaps feel some anxeity as now I would have much more time in my day to fill with other things, but there would be no physical or psychological harm. Second, since when does forcing someone to do, or not to do, something bring about the result you desire. Threatening to burn, smash, uninstall, or delete the game, or in extreme cases, threatening seperation or divorce, rarely brings about the desired outcome. The fact that you are willing to throw away your marriage over a video game is just as absurd as the amount of time he spends playing the game. I often have used games like World of Warcraft as an escape. It lets me go to another world where I didn't have to worry about things like bills, finances, work, nagging wife, and other stressers. Forcing someone to quit or giving an ultimatum is not the Lord's way. The Lord loves us so much he gave us moale agency so we can learn and grow by making decisions, and sometimes making mistakes. He loved us so much that he gave us this gift knowing that right off the bat 1/3 of his children would choose not to follow this plan and be cast out. Who are we to attempt to take away this divine gift from another. Instead I would offer an alternative, but first a story from the Book of Mormon. We all know the story of the time Nephi broke his bow while hunting. When he returned home with no food nearly everyone was murmuring against him. Even Lehi murmured. This would be the perfect opportunity for Nephi to assume the role as prophet and leader. Instead Nephi asks his dad where he should go hunting. With this question Nephi restores all faith in Lehi and he carries on as prophet and continues to lead his family. The point to all of this is simple. If you treat a man as he is, he will remain as he is. But if you treat a man as he may become, he will become whom he may become. Check out the Book of Mormon study guide for more details. By trying to force or manipulate someone to give up video games you are treating him as he is and he will remain as he is. Perhaps its time to start treating him as the caring father/priesthood holder that he can be. One more thing, and this may sound harsh, but perhaps the constant nagging about his video game playing is part of the reality he is trying to escape. I can't speak for all of us gamers, but this has definately been the case for me on many occasions.

I'm sorry if I offended you, that was not my intent. Typically there is a great deal of maturing that happens between ages 18/19 and 22 (not sure where this number came from). This is often the time when young adults start living live for themselves. They often go to college, move away to work, or serve an LDS mission. This is a very general statement and I never meant it otherwise. All I am saying is the divorce rate for those who marry young is much higher than those who wait. Marrying in the temple loweres the divorce rate but even then it is still higher than those who wait until they are older and marry in the temple. These statements are very general and very statistical. Also, my statement regarding the lack of maturity was not based on your age. It was based on your reaction to the situation and your responses in this post. Here is the bottom line. Use the information here and whatever else you can find regarding this type of situation. Study the scriptures and pray about the decision. In the end the Lord is the only one who truly knows how this will all turn out. On a related note, I have been going through some difficult times in my life the last several months and I picked up a book the other day called "Where can I Turn for Peace?" It is written by several authors who each write one section of the book. It is a short book, a little more than 100 pages, but it talks about the peace that comes from the Lord, what that peace can do, and how to find it and enhance it. It has been an incredible help for me and I highly recommend it to anyone who is facing challenges.

To put it bluntly..... I think all 3 of you are too young for relationships of this magnitude and lack the maturity to deal with these kinds of problems. A few years at this age can make all the difference in the world.

I served my mission in Germany and that looks alot like the coat I wore. As for music - we were limited to church hymns.

I don't think that beer or meat are necessarily evil. Neither one is necessarily good either. Beer, when taken in moderation, is pretty harmless. However, its the moderation that most people struggle with. I have heard the argument that a glass of wine with dinner is good for the heart. The problem is when one can't stop at one glass at dinner. Beer certainly isn't necessary for survival. Meat can actually be good for the body when taken in moderation. However, the same as beer, its the moderation that people struggle with. Certain meats are better for you than others and certain preperation methods are healthier than others but all meat contains protein which the body needs. Having said that, meat is not neccessary for survival. I admire those who choose a vegetarian lifestyle and most of them seem to live healthy lives. Although, I do choose to eat meat I am very selective about the meats we eat and how it is prepared. We have cut back our meat consumption quite a bit over the last several months and we are enjoying trying some new recipes that don't contain meat. At least for the most part we are enjoying it, my kids weren't real crazy about the tofu dishes I made a few weeks ago, but we are trying. On a related note, I really do admire those who choose to limit or eliminate meat consumption. However, I don't really care for some of the politics that some vegetarians use to try to guilt me into a vegetarian lifestyle. For those that choose not to eat meat thats just fine, but don't judge me when I do decide to eat meat. The situation above where Rampion was asked to help with a Cub Scout Banquet and notified the committee in advance that 2 vegetarians would be attending and then arrived to find nothing to eat - thats extremely inconsiderate on the part of the committee member.

I have to say I was hoping the Chargers would win last night. I am not necessarily a Charges fan though. I have 2 favorite teams - the Green Bay Packers and whoever is playing the Broncos.

1. Upon your return to the church let your ward members know he wants nothing to do with the church. That doesn't mean no contact with ward members. It sounds like if you pressure him he will fight it. Let him know its what you want to do and there will be no obligation for him to participate in any way. 2. Members of the church are human beings and as such many are judgmental. There are those in every ward who will judge. At the same time there are also those who are loving and accepting and will welcome you with warmth and happiness. Find those members. 3. As a return missionary I wondered if some of those who joined the church were doing so because of the kindness of those around them. Welcoming new members is important but gaining a testimony is more important. I encourage you to go to church, even if you feel uncomfortable at first. Make an appointment with the bishop and tell him of your desire to return. He can make arrangements for members to help you return to full activity. Ask him who the Relief Society president is and request visiting teachers. This will help you get to know more people faster. As soon as you begin to meet more people you will begin feeling more comfortable. If you did join the church because of this wonderful family thats okay. But the gospel has so much more to offer. You should definately give it another chance. 4. I know plenty of people in the same or similar situations. You will feel like an outsider at first. I am recently divorced and my daughters and I just moved into an apartment in the ward were I grew up. I knew many of the members there. Imagine the looks I got when the bishop read our membership records in Sacrament Meeting without my ex-wife's name. It takes time. The members have shown me so much love and support through this difficult time. You can find this too if you give them a chance. 5. This one is tough. I wish there was an easy answer but there's not. You can enjoy all of the blessings of the gospel without your husband's participation. Just because he chooses not to participate shouldn't limit you in what you do. I think your "pondering" may actually be a prompting from the spirit. Perhaps your Father in Heaven is asking you to come back to the fold. Maybe its time you listened. Its not going to be easy. I wish I could say it would be. What I can promise you is a peace and happiness you may have never experienced. At least not in quite a while. Feel free to whisper me if you would like to talk privately.

Thanks for the advice. I did let my daughters go with my ex-wife this weekend. Sort of anyway. I talked to my mother-in-law and told her I would let her take the girls for the weekend (my ex-wife lives with her) but they could not be left alone with my ex-wife. I went and picked them up Saturday afternoon and we went and got ice cream. We talked a bit and I asked them what they knew and if they had any questions. They didn't understand why we divorced. They knew their mother had an addiction problem in the past but they didn't know to what extent and they had not related it to the divorce. I didn't tell them. I asked if they had any questions and they both said they would prefer not to talk about it. I left it at that. I will have the same conversation with them in a few months and I will let them decide when its time. Thanks again for all the great advice.