ferretrunner

Maybe you're depressed because you're smart? I've noticed that intelligent people both tend to become depressed and tend to recover from depression more than people of average or below intellegience. Intelligent people tend to think a lot. Sometimes, that can lead to cognitive distortions or only seeing the negative side of life. But, they also tend to respond very well to recognizing the negative thinking patterns and challenging the disortions. LOL. I think those of us who struggle with depression tend to see more of the whole world than others.

I understand. I struggle with a testimony of the Church, too. Sometimes we expect a great shout "I AM HERE!!! THE CHURCH IS TRUE!!!!!" Instead we receive a whisper: "I am here. The Church is true. Are you looking for a shout and missing the whisper? One day, several years ago, I went out to a quiet place in the woods. I sat next to a stream and just experienced the day. I noticed the clouds, the sky, the wind, the plants. I heard the water and the wind in the trees and felt the breeze on my skin. I watched a couple of deer drink in the stream and examined the nearby beaver dam. I didn't try for anything. I was a human be-ing rather than a human doing. As the day progressed, I prayed. I received a whisper as an answer- but it was not a whisper I could doubt. Just some thoughts. I hope you find the answer you seek.

Hello. Good luck on your mission. It sounds like you'll be great. Ask the question you're researching in one of the other forums. There's a lot of knowledgeable people here- I'm sure someone will be able to point you in the right direction. =)

Sorry, Mahone. I was pretty tired when I wrote that post. I didn't mean it as an attack towards you. LS, stay the course. It will be worth the effort in the long run. Porn is a hard one to beat, because sex related activties are among the most powerful "rewards" in the dopamine system. It has to be, because the survival of the species depends on it. Keep up the struggle. And look for professional help and support groups. Seriously. It's not something you will beat alone. I know your parents are helping but addiction treatment will help you develop more tools to address the addiction and understand why it is happening more. No matter how many times you fall down, keep trying. Here are a couple of links you might find interesting. The first is from an article written by BYU: BYU NewsNet - Science of pornography addiction involves many factors It deals with porn addiction. The second one deals with drug/ alcohol addiction. However, the brain changes in both are similar, as are the pleasure pathways. HBO: Addiction: Understanding Addiction: Addiction and the Brain's Pleasure Pathway: Beyond Willpower

Can we ever know? Knowledge is like 2+2=4. It can be proven. I know Lady Tosca exists. I just gave her a treat and played with her. I've never seen God or touched God. All we really have is faith. Some people's faith is stronger than others. Would I behave differently if I had direct knowledge God exists and the Church is true? Probably. For one, I would have a testimony instead of the doubt-a-mony I'm struggling with now. That would make it much easier to pay tithing and accept some of the teachings I question now. But, would knowledge also interfere with agency? If God was standing, visibly, next to me every moment of every day, am I really choosing to do right? Or am I going along with the flow in order not to anger God? If we had perfect knowledge of God in this life, what would be the point? What would we learn? How would we grow? Good post, Snow. Very thought provoking.

In the bad pun category... How do you know it was raining cats and dogs? Because you just stepped in a poodle. *groan*

As I have jumped into several topics, I thought I would pause to introduce myself. "Ferretrunner" at your service- runner of marathons and of ferrets. I have three of the adorable little beasties who call my house their home. Lady Tosca is the pretty little one on my avatar. :) I am in an interesting space in my spiritual journey. I will write a blog entry with more details. The short version: I was baptized just over two years ago. Soon after, I got a new job back in Washington and moved. It was a bad time for the move spiritually. I wasn't ready to leave the ward that had patiently seen me grow- and accepted my questions as normal. I struggled to fit in with the new ward and had several judgemental encounters with RS sisters. I was feeling alone and isolated, questioning my testimony, and eventually lost my testimony. I really now doubt I ever had a testimony of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon, although at the time I thought I did. I wonder how much of my "conversion" was more that I really liked the people at the ward where I was baptized. I felt like part of their community. And the RS President, her husband, and family more or less "adpoted" me. So, I'm here. Maybe this is gently putting my foot in the water. I'm a social worker by profession. I work for the VA. I'm also in the Army Reserve. So, that's me. Please, feel free to comment. Just be respectful. I really don't need lectures, just support.

When I was taking the lessons, the missionaries usually came with someone else from the church. Sometimes, there was a couple or I took a lesson in a family's home. I'm glad the discussion went well. I hope you and your family learn a lot from the experience, whever it takes you. Keep an open mind and heart.

OP, Your friend needs to talk to her doctor again. There are different kinds of antidepressants and different dosages. It sounds like the one she's on isn't working right. She may want to try another. She shouldn't feel "flat" like that. She may also want to connect with a therapist who is trained in CBT. Research shows a combination of medication and therapy is the most effective treatment for depression. Antidepressants increase the amount of neurotransmitters in the brain synapses. They don't give people a "high" but should bring them back to a normal mood. Depression is caused by a low level of the neurotransmitters. I hope your friend starts feeling better.

Godless, I grew up in a house where fighting about religion was the hobby of the week, every Sunday and often on other days. My parents both attend their own churches now- one Catholic, one protestant. Of the three grown kids, they have an agnositc, a pagan, and a seeker. I don't push my own choices and beliefs at my parents. I have a tattoo- they know it, we don't talk about it. I think what is hard about your situation is you genuinely care about your parents and their faith, even if you don't agree. Gwen gave an excellent idea. Either write them or talk to them, respectfully, that you have made some different choices. When they come to visit, don't leave your empties out all over the apartment. Keep them out of direct sight. Repect their beliefs and don't drink in front of them. Wear what you would normally but don't push the tatts in their faces. I have a friend who left the LDS church and has tatts. She covers them when she visits her parents. Her parents know she has them but she wants to be respectful. It sounds like your heart is in the right place. Treat them, and their beliefs, with respect and I think you'll be ok. It may not be comfortable at first but I think your relationship with them will probably get better. LOL. They probably know more already than you think.

LM, Ok. I disagree with some of your traditional beliefs you set forth. But, you have the right to raise your family in that manner. Will you accept the fact that I believe differently? Women are more than mothers. I have a mind and skills that are sorely needed in this world. Would you say I am less a woman or less a believer than you? Would I be wrong to raise my girls (if I had any) that it was ok for them to develop their minds and work outside the home? That's tolerance.

How do you handle garmets with atheltic performance? Do you have to wear atheltic clothes that cover the garments? I often run in tank tops, especially in 90 + degree heat like we've been having. Would I have to wear something like a long sleeve top or shirt sleeves to cover the garment? What about swimming? I'm not trying to be funny, but I am curious. It's an interesting thread.

LS, You had a set back. But you haven't lost the war. Just get back on the horse. Look at what happened. What triggered you accessing porn? Boredom? Fear? Anger? What was your mood? How were you feeling physcially? What were the visual cues? Anything like that. Tell your accountability person what happened. Learn from the set back and move forward again.

It's hard for people who do not struggle with addiction to understand addiction. Mahoney, it's not about self-control. Addiction causes/ is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain in the dopamine system. One of the most powerful rewards out natural dopamine system has is the sex reward- it's one of the key survival behaviors. What LS is struggling against with addiction is a pattern of thought, behavior, and chemicals. LS, the software is a good tool- much like an alcoholic in early recovery or having a day avoiding a bar. But, it's just a tool. Like an alcoholic, you have to address the underlying addiction. It's a forever process. Don't be discouraged by this. Growth- spiritual, mental, and emotional- is an ongoing process for everyone. What happens when you don't pray? You don't feel as spiritually connected, right? Find a professional counselor with experience working with this type of addiction. Look into self-help groups. If you can't find one, then at least pick up a copy of a 12-step program and work it. You have supports here and, more importantly, with your parents. If you're LDS, maybe your bishop can also help. You can work on developing the internal controls. Use the extrenal controls as assistance tools. Good luck, LS.