Milluw

I saw this video the other day: And i am just curious to hear people's opinions this. More specifically about how the spirit in us gets clogged because of dirt, and that we more easily can be spiritual when having gone through a cleansing process like the one that she she explains? I know that keeping clean and groomed, having your things organized and such in your home, does help.. at least for me. Im just wondering if taking it to the next level and doing this spiritual bathing often, really does make you connect more with the spirit. What are your thoughts? :)

Im confused to how you could ever become as one in a marriage like that. I know that if i had a husband, and he had 3 other wives, or just even 1 or 2 i would desire less to create a personal bond to him, or to want to open up to him. That would be one lonely eternity.

Do you know where i could find those?

Hi Jovan :) and welcome!

The piano guys are excellent! :)

I can see the point in that, yeah. That is also why i said in the beginning that i understand the sentiment of it. Still i cannot help but feel that it is slightly too drastic to just stop confiding or being confided to by all of your male friends. Some part of me probably thinks that it is a waste of a good friendship, assuming things would go that way, when it might have never. And that is should not be neccisary to choose between your spouse and other male friends. On the other hand, i might just be a bit bummed by the idea, because i just realised i then would have to at some point change like that with what is the majority of my friends.. I dont know.

Discard may have been a wrong term to use. That is why i wrote "in a sense". (Pardon my bad english^ ^) I wouldn't say offputting, right now i just dont understand some things about it. That is why im writing here, to hear other peoples opinions and views. I think that certainly there are right and wrong circumstances to where you hang out. But the idea of supervision, reporting back about everything to your spouse, just seems so put a real string on your friendship. I know that i have some friends that has gotten married. Suddenly, if i confide in them, ive been surprised to know that im confiding in both of them, as everything has to be told. Not that i mind and that i have any secrets, but it does kind change as in you start speaking couple to couple, rather than individual to one another.

Thats something i agree with though. I would never for example go to the movies and sit alone somewhere all night with someone of the opposite gender. The spouse do have first priority. But things such as if a friend of mine had some personal problem, they wanted to speak to a friend about, and he might want to speak to me about those problems. Why would there be anything wrong with that? Also meeting up in a cafe to talk, where theres lots of people for example. As long as you pull back from the friendship, as soon as any emotion above friendship would happend.

No, what i mean is that if those feelings should occur, i would first then set the boundery and pull back from the friendship. In stead of pulling back in a way, when that might have not even been the case.

But that is the same with so many other things in the world today that you face. If you were to precaution every risk thrown at you so that they would not occur, then what would the point of being here be? Im not saying throw yourself into it. More like getting to know yourself through trials, to find out where you need to put bounderies to yourself along the way.

What im just wondering is, what is the right way to precaution it? And when it should be precautioned. Isnt taking those precautions from the beginning, saying from the beginning those are the dangers in the relationship. Wouldn't it be better to treat each friend as an individual and not discard them in a sense just because of their gender - and then say that if there should arise some sort of a problem.. each one in the marriage should honest and speak to each other about it, and then decide together what is the best thing to do.

Thanks for the replies! Im a bit conflicted about this subject. As i understand the sentiment of something changing, theres still some things that doesn't make sense to me. The majority of my friends are of the opposite gender. I also have plenty female friends, but thats just how it is. Making friends i have never thought about genders.. i never thought it would be relevant to me unless it would have developed into more. And i know with many of my friends - that is just not an option, i dont view them as more than just that. They become more a brother or a sister. I spoke to someone i know who is getting married, she told me that men and woman cannot be friends without there being some kind of subcontional flirt going. Im not saying that couldn't happend, but i just feel like i would rather have my partner go out and experience those feelings and trust that he would be honest with me and learn to deal with it emotionally to become stronger as a couple, than tell him he then can't do this and that with the opposite sex. But then ofcourse, the risk of something going wrong will be higher. Did the church ever make a statement about this?

*Facepalm* - Opposite gender, ofcourse! (Getting sleepy) Sorry

Oh, i just realised i should have posted this in the marriage/relationship category

Here's one thing i have been wondering, as i have seen so many different opinions around. When you are in a relationship/marriage, where do you draw the line with having friends of the opposite gender, if you draw any? Do some things have to change with them? What are your opinions?

I got cedar tree, just a few things fitted =) mostly it did not

Thank you applepansy :)

He is writing me now, i asked him and currently he just finished his class. He says they are having a meeting about what will be next, so i dont know which school he will be at, at least for now..

Possibly, i could try to locate his school. Maybe ask him what he is doing now, if he is still going to that school and so on.. Last i heard it were the end of the school year.

Ive thought about this, but i cant see any way other than asking him to know who her name is. And im afraid he might think that is suspicious. All i know so far is that it is a female.. I dont know his parents, or who else he keeps in contact with him at this moment that could help me find out. Everyone i knew that he knew, has completely cut contact with him a good while back..

Oh good :) will try and figure out where to turn it in to here, and do that. Thanks alot for the advice!

I would not have been able to live with myself, if anything like that happend! Have been talking to him over a year about this, maybe i should have taken action a long time ago. Havent really kept records of our conversations, how is it possible to prove? If i save our conversations, how would they know its not just something i could have been sitting there writing?

Yeah, its also the main reason to why i feel like i want to back out.. I just justified talking to him still, because he seemed like he had become aware of his problem. Told me that i didn't do anything wrong to him for those plans, that he just at that point had justified it somehow in his mind. And then with the pills and all.. also saying that i were helping him talking to him.. but why shouldn't he be going back and forth with those thoughts, when he seems to be doing it with others...

Eowyn: I would turn him in, if it were not for that he claims he is already being kept check on. Also i would emagine that his therapist would turn him in, if he is really as honest to her as he claims. But i can't be sure, he also said that he at several points have become so angry with her he almost attacked her. It is hard to tell what of the things he is saying is happening in his mind, and what isn't.. MorningStar: Thank you for your prayers :) Do you know how it is possible to get to reach a mental health expert? I have this idea of that if i call a clinique, they would want me to pay and get back in line for a session to get advice like that. But i dont know really...