Backroads

I'm not calling it wishful thinking. To me, it makes sense.

anatess = And I agree with her. You seem tired, stressed, and, well, whiney about the whole thing. It's like trying to drag a kid to church. Do you or do you not have a testimony? You haven't gone into inactivity yet, so why not partake of something sacred? It might be the spiritual and emotional boost you need.

That's true, I did assume that. Yet if sex is considered near unto godliness and so necessary for creation, why would a sex drive be invalid? Though I could imagine a more perfected sex drive....

This could be attributed to reading a highly Freudian book analyzing fairy tales, but I've long thought that part of the beauty of having a child is that it comes after the bond of sex. She wants kids one day when they are no longer starving college students and she's very maternal, but I don't think she really "gets it" for whatever reason.

I'm inclined to think so as well, as are my parents. Perhaps not consciously abusive, but it's happening.

More thoughts... As has been said, repentance and forgiveness can exist separate from each other. Someone does not have to repent for me to forgive them, as forgiveness is mainly for the victim. However, when I am assuming they have not sincerely repented, is it because I have seen no signs of repentence, is it because I am protecting myself? Or is it because I am still harboring bitter feelings and thus have not forgiven them?

I definitely agree with thebeliever that, practically in this life, sin causes many losses that can't immediately be repaired. Again, no one is arguing with that. But, thebeliever, do you think it should be a hard and fast rule that I should never again trust anyone who has sinned? I think that really should be left up to the individuals in question as well as the situation. I've heard stories of people where manslaughter or even murder was involved... the folks involved wound up as best friends. A sex offender lives in my building... I would trust this man with my life. I also agree that pedophiles shouldn't be allowed to work with youth. thebeliever, you seem to be saying (correct me if I'm wrong) that a sinner, while worthy of forgiveness if repentance is sincere, is never worthy again of trust, and you are applying this to ALL sinners. There is a difference between being reasonably cautious and automatically assuming that someone who has sinned is incapable of sincere repentance. You're right that we can't know for sure. But that doesn't mean we should automatically assume they are not sincere.

I would definitely say sexual attraction in its purely carnal form is attached only to bodies. This isn't to say our spirits aren't capable of true love. But if bodies are something to be desired, it certainly means sexual attraction is a good thing.

That is an incredibly interesting thought. So far all that has been noted on this thread is that the effects of sin affect us NOW in this earthly life. When all is said and done and made right, will we really care?

I love the goth look, but it really doesn't suit my personality.

Yeah, I meant it all tongue-in-cheek, I apologize. It's like Vietnames tacos.

My thoughts: It doesn't help when people come here and become defensive and sensitive that LDS people DO believe the way they do. I think the majority of people here don't want anyone to feel bad, or shove beliefs down anyone's throat. Just because someone is respectfully explaining why they believe the way they do (including being LDS) does not mean they hate you. Frankly, I feel rather insulted that it was suggested that every LDS person on here attacks others' beliefs. In fact, I would like to see some examples of this.

Okay, responses to various things on this thread: The holding of a temple recommend doesn't mean squat when it comes to the value of a person. Now, it's quite possible for a very good person to hold a recommend (as they should), but Joe could lie his way through a temple recommend interview or Susie could be a hop, skip, and a jump from being translated but has no interest in the gospel. Also, people change. True repentence is complete and total to the sinner. God asks that we repent. It was never said that only those who never sin go to the Celestial Kingdom. HOWEVER... it's quite possible, in our imperfect mortal bodies, that the temptation that made us sin in the first place will not leave. Addiction rewires the brain. An alchoholic can go for decades sober, having repented of that sin, go to the temple, leave a worthy life. Does not change the fact that person suffers an alchohol addiction. Is it possible they are just as good a person as someone who is not an alchoholic? You bet! Will those who suffered because of the alcholism still feel the effects in their lives? Quite possible. In that regard, yes, the effects of sin remain and it would be better not to have those effects. But I also am a firm believer that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I do believe good things can come from unfortunate situations. I believe that sincere repentance and sincere forgiveness can completely heal scars. It does not change the fact there were wounds, but it can heal them. HOWEVER, to say that all sins are the result of brain/body changing addictions simply isn't true. The reason kids are so strongly cautioned about the law of chastity is because sex is a good thing, God intended for us to have sex, etc. etc. Unlike alcohol or murder, which are always bad things, sex isn't. Therefore, the best people can slip up in something that in itself is good but is in the wrong place and time. Yes, breaking the law of chastity is a severe sin as sex is reserved for marriage, but one cannot say "Betty slipped up and broke the law of chastity and therefore is a sex addict who will never ever ever be able of proper, correct, and chaste sexual relations". Therefore, one cannot without a doubt fear that Betty will slip up again, that she is untrustworthy. I have a cousin who had a very bad childhood due to a crazy mother. She shoplifted, did drugs, slept around, etc. She was put in a foster care that was merely a different sort of crazy and ran away. A year ago, we ran into her on facebook. She was married to a wonderful upstanding man, was in college to become a teacher. She was clean and good and pure. She still has the same and now has a child. To say she is not a good person because she has repented isn't fair. She has proven that she could change. I see no reason to think less of someone who has sinned in the past if he/she has sincerely repented. If they have changed, what does it matter? What good does it do to think they will slip up again and constantly live in that fear? This being said, I would still protect myself, but what if there is nothing reasonable to protect myself from? Sin is wrong. We all know that. But sincere repentence does not exist just to get us to the Telestial Kingdom. It exists to make the Celestial kingdom possible. Sincere repentence gives us the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. Now if we have the knowledge and understanding beforehand, so much the better. But mistakes can happen in our imperfect world. None of us has the time or capacity to worry about every single sin others make. There is also the "what if" thing I always wonder about: If someone never gets an opportunity to sin but wants to, does that make them better than someone who has sinned and repented?

What about "mostly dead"? Miracle Max can take care of that.

THat would be great.

Thanks, all. Yeah, it's hard because as the sister, there really isn't a heck of a lot I can do but give advice when asked and support. It is indeed between them, and I truly am allowing that. I guess it's something I"ve mostly thrown up my hands about. But... this is my favorite brother if I'm allowed to play favorites and my SIL is a close friend. It sucks to see them suffering. Here's what I do know:Originally, Brother had difficulties. He says it's because he felt that SIL was nervous of sex, and no good guy is going to pressure a girl who is fearful. SIL, therefore, puts all blame on Brother. Doctors have told Brother there is nothing wrong with him--it's just hard when the girl isn't willing. SIL has never been able to use tampons (this makes me think something is physically wrong with her) When Brother was 14ish, he had issues with pornography. As far as I am aware, it was mainly out of curiosity and was resolved. SIL's mother views sex has a chore (has actually told us this) and SIL is the only girl in her family. Brother suffers from ADHD, clinical depression, and Tourrettes (welcome to my family). He is perfectly fine when on his medications. Brother said "It's harder now because Backroads and her husband are happy". My perspective (not necessarily fact) SIL, who is quite young and acts even younger, is extremely immature about sex, perhaps suffers from the "Good Girl" syndrome as well as something physical. Brother feels indebted to girl who stood beside him during a serious bout of depression before they were engaged. Doesn't want to make her feel bad. While SIL may also recognize this is a big problem, doesn't want to deal with it right now and wants to continue playing house and ignore it.

This has been something that has been on my mind lately. I request that everyone on this site not go around in the real world saying "this gal on the internet has a brother..." My little brother and his wife have been married for two years. Their marriage is, as the subject suggests, technically unconsummated. They love each other, but this is a HUGE struggle in their marriage and I think the pain got even worse after I was married. I am one of the few people privy to this (which is why I stress the internet anonymity here). They have been to all sorts of counselors, but my SIL is no longer interested. In fact, she's pretty much okay with the situation. Meanwhile, my brother feels like he merely has a nice roommate. DOing internet research, I've found this is a lot more common than anyone would like to admit and the trouble is largely no one wants to admit it. So... any advice?

Who has time to check out a few thousand churches? You feel right about one, you have studied and prayed and pondered... Nothing worng with personal research and your testimony can't be your parents' testimony, but there are way too many logical fallacies in their line there.

Nothing is specific to its culture anymore. We are an international world.

For years I couldn't do it. But I had some meds I had to take right before girls' camp. A doctor in the ward came over and showed me how to do it. Put it as far back on the tongue as you can. Then push your tongue against your bottom teeth. Take a drink and... hopefully swallow!

... I might just have to take the advice. I always got the mango in the first picture... the apparently bad mango. ... I feel lost.

False propaganda? Excuse me? Here's proof that this isn't proganda: Mangos aren't that great according to ME.

I believe in a world where boys and girls will be able to eat whatever fruit they would like and also critcize mangos...

Interesting. I have a nasty little red streak that loves to argue and play devil's advocate as long as I have interest in the subject, which may or may not last. I think if the debate is debate's sake--and not a "my way or the highway" situation, it's fine. In your situation, if you're interested in rebuilding your testimony, it might be worth it to study those things you are doubting. Perhaps those will get you involved in a debate. But make sure it's core essential factual doctrine, because so many people wind up leaving the Church over things that really aren't all that true.