Backroads

Just face the fact that there is going to be a chocolate famine. I've been adjusting for two months now.

My co-worker just had her ward dissolved! She's pretty sad about it, so she's bugging another coworker who's a bishop to figure out her new boundaries for her.

I personally think it's good to go through a time of doubt, questioning, and even pain. I too suspect that there is more to this experience than you are revealing, and it's okay and natural to feel the things you feel. Don't worry so much about the church and its members. Focus on your relationship with God and ponder your own beliefs. You do not have to fit into the cookie-cutter Mormon. In fact, I think that as much as many want to pretend there is the ideal Mormon it's simply not true. There is a lot more to the church than its culture. At the risk of causing trouble, there are a lot of things accepted as truth that technically aren't doctrine, just musings. Think about what you believe and what is essential to your testimony. And it's okay to be different. I would be careful about calling people "fake", though. That seems to be the typical favorite word of anyone angsty and feeling alone in the world.

This is so true! One can eventually learn to discern between the kid who legitimately has a behavior problem and one who just isn't disciplined. This being said, when it comes to ADD/ADHD and the like, I prefer techniques to teach kids how to control themselves over medications. Mind you, I come from a family where ADD, ADHD, and Tourettes run rampant. I have a brother who suffers from ADHD, Tourettes, and clinical depression. Drives his wife nuts. So far, however, he's been the only child in the family who has regularly been on medication for most of his life. The rest of us only took it long enough to learn how to control ourselves, with a few times here and there of having to go back on. I also disagree about the absolute necessity of "sir/ma'am" and the like. I see those as very respect terms, but I would rather have someone call me "Backroads" in sincere kindness and respect then "ma'am" out of grudging habit. It's the idea and feeling behind the words.

When teaching, the disrespectful kids were the kids of parents who wanted to be friends. Usually, any discipline that would happen would explode in a too much-too late situation that scared the kid. A fellow teacher had a student who extremely immature and misbehaved. She talked with parents and advised them to set up a system of consequences. Which they did. Half an hour less of video games if he misbehaved at school.

The sad thing is... I do have mild issues with people of Davis County.

I would actually ask if she DOES want to talk about it. Often, people in mourning do, but don't know how to ask for it. Then they feel bad because everyone else is "avoiding" the subject. She's in a fragile state right now, so it will be up to you to ask blatant emotional questions.

Utahns are perfectly nice, if insane, people. A Little Hometown Humor: If Barbie Went Utah - Somyr Perry - Open Salon I can only vouch for the truth of Ogden and Plain City Barbies.

I used to believe that until I actually studied geology!

Spirituality is the feelings/beliefs/connection, religion is the organization of such things, even giving it a name. I personally think it's more important to be spiritual, though being spiritual and religious is the ideal. I think religion without spirituality is what leads to problems. When you're spiritual, this is when you have your testimony, your inspiration, your relationship with God. You are in tune. However, religion can drive these feelings forward. You have definitions for those beliefs and feelings, you have rules, guidelines, and support.

OGDEN RULES!!!! I second ksl.com. It's great.

It's my dream. Heck, it very much fits with the country's original thoughts of public education. It's also my dream to do away with age-based grades and whatnot...

For state laws, it really does vary. It's such an exchange system: charter school gets leniency in this for doing that, etc., etc. Whatever is part of the submitted charter. Yes, lots of groups all over the country are quite capable of setting up a charter school--it's sort of what defines them as charter schools (as a government will rarely go out of its way to find people to set up a charter school). Still public, though.

Yeah, there really is this double standard that all young Mormon men masturbate while the girls never do. The problem exists with both genders!

Technically, any child CAN attend a charter school [taking the lottery into account]. A charter school, since it does use government funds, cannot turn a child away [that has succeeded in the lottery]. Other than the lottery system many use or certain state-approved minimum requirements, a charter school cannot be terribly selective on the children it takes in. There isn't a terrible difference in how the money is split up since a charter school IS public and receives funding/approval through the state/government. I think any difference is based on a local area's needs.

Y'all realize that a charter school is a public school, right? It's very hard for them not be academically selective. Most use a random lottery. No one ever said you had to be brilliant to attend a charter school.

Which are? (or where I can find them... eastern religious history fascinates me while I know very little about Catholic history.)

It's a completely natural state of being. I think that in Mormon culture we believe everyone gets married and live happily ever after, that only those outside of the church fail to get married for x number of reasons. It's just not true. I know it's hard and meaningless advice, but I recommend to try not worrying about it. You can't base your happiness on whether or not you're with somebody.

May I ask what parts of church history are missing?

Tragically, a lot of educational research is moving away from the multi-learning styles idea in favor of just using them as variances on the "I do, we do, you do" model (which is a good model, but helps only the majority of kids and continues to ignore those who struggle.) My impression of the public schools is that the effort to improve test scores across the board is to find the best way to reach most kids. Granted, there is a lot of leniency involved and good teachers can certainly adapt the approved methods to reach all students, but a lot of public schools prefer best practices and nothing else. Which is unfair. I come from a family of great readers--all of are. One little sister simply was not reading in first grade. She was immature for her age, was the youngest one in the class due to her birthday. The teachers all panicked while my parents didn't worry--they simply assumed she wasn't ready to read yet. Guess what? Second grade, she was right on grade level and steadily aiming upwards. I never struggled in school. I was reading on a 7th grade level in 1st grade and picked up most concepts (except for telling time, I had issues with that.) I had ADD, but I was able to still keep up with school. I had lots of ADD/ADHD kids who did great academically, so they're not necessarily the ones to waste focus upon. Back to vouchers... what concerns me about a lot of what I've read here is that the ideal system is that the best and the brightest would be accepted into the private and charter schools (where the best teacher pool is) and those who really need the help will be left at the public schools. If this were to become the case, how could good teachers be encouraged to stay at public schools where they would theoretically be dealing with the lowest of the low?

All right, though I worry about your wife. Yeah, I think changing wards would be for the best.

So is this a church thing or a spiritual thing?

I don't think it's the organization's fault or intent that someone in power would do what they did. I think your wife needs to decide if she has a testimony of the gospel or of the organization of the church with its people.

Because it's the first time you've said it this way. You always stated that the private schools will have the better pool. You never admitted that it was still possible to have brilliant and dedicated teachers in public schools, at least that I saw.

That's an excellent point, and I think that's where a strong community-school bond needs to exist. As it stands, most public schools (in my area) expect a child to know how to read and write their name, the alphabet, and a few sight words prior to kindergarten. These things are not necessarily something that can be taught the summer before kindergarten. There needs to be a way for people with small children to KNOW these things several years in advance.