RMGuy

Bobby, Welcome and all the best. Navigating family relationships can sometimes be difficult. I wish you all the best. -RM

Michael, My guess is lots of people have told you that they know how you feel, but I'm not sure anyone ever REALLY knows, apart from maybe our Heavenly Father, and the Saviour. With that being said, do you mind if I ask you a rhetorical question? Are YOU happy with you? If the answer is yes...great. Don't let anyone "change" you or even suggest that you should or need to change. If you aren't, then what about you don't you like? You will get a lot of advice, and that advice might be very different depending on who is giving it. You might get one thing from a member, and something different from a non-member, one thing from a female friend and another from a male. You may even get one piece of advice from 1 bishop in your current ward and a different piece of advice from the bishop in your next ward. Does that make those pieces of advice good, bad, right wrong? What it does is pull you in different directions. Heck at the end of the day my thoughts are pretty much the same thing.....just advice from some anonymous guy on the internet. So take them for what they are worth. It seems to me though that you need to be happy with who Michael is. We are encourged to be equally yoked in the church. I know couples that are VERY letter of the law obedient, and it works for them. They are wonderful people to be around, and they have grown together very well. I know other couples that are very much "middle road" mormons, and that works very well for them. Great. Some couple that are very highly sexed, and others that are very conservative in their sexual norms and values. Some couples seek after wealth, others prefer to be moderate in the means. Some maintain very close relationships with extended family and involve them, others not so much. For some individuals appearance is important, for others it is not. The one common thing that I have observed in successful partnerships in and out of the church is that the individual partners in the relationship are happy with themselves. They like who they are. What seems to come through your writing, at least to me, is that right now you aren't very happy with you, and where you are. -RM

Fact: Something is known as a proven truth. Originally from latin factum, earliest common usage as "truth, reality" dates from the 16th century. Oxford University Dictionary. And the original claim in the post dealth wtih not just a flat earth but also that the earth was the center of the universe. Galileo's arguement that the earth moves contrary, to the then accepted scriptural interpretation of both old and new testament verse, was in direct contravention of geocentrism. There was never any mention in my post, real or implied, with regards to Galileo and a flat earth. Spartan orginially stated, "Fact and truth are not always synonymous. At one time it was a fact the world was flat. It used to be a fact that the earth was the center of the universe. If anything is fickle, it is what our "facts" are from day to day." My response was to the point that facts (truths) do not change, and that those facts are BEST proven by scientific inquiry. His example of the flat earth, and a geocentric view have both been proven false by scientific method. In fact, one of his examples, the geocentric earth model, proves the point exactly. That the church persecuted and imprisoned a proponent of truth because it directly contravened their scriptural interpretation and feelings on the matter. With that being said, am I willing to argue that science is infallible? Clearly the answer is no. But then neither are feelings, impressions, or faith. I believe that there is a valid and important place for faith, hope, and believe. It should be used to help us bridge the gap between what we know and what we don't. Yet, as verifiable and testable truth is available it should SUPPORT the conclusions reached by faith, otherwise that faith is vain. If we really believe that we have the truth in the church, if we really believe in the restoration, and a communion between heaven and earth, then we should never fear proveable science for the two would not be in contradiction. God gave me an intellect, and he expects me to use it. I trust God, and I trust revealed truth. BUT, I test that revealed truth. -RM

I had a companion go home specifically because of TMoF, and not because he was guilty of any major sins. He was abit OCD and lets just say it REALLY messed with his mind. One of the scariest things I have ever seen was the transformation in him after reading TMoF. I think that the book has done a lot of good, but it has also caused some harm. -RM

Spartan, I would argue that it was never a fact that the world was flat or that the earth was the center of the universe. It was accepted wisdom, but like faith, accepted on the basis of no evidence. In fact it was Galileo Galilei that challenged the very notion that you used in your argument. In 1616 the Church based on ideas that many things needed to be decided by faith and not evidence ordered him to cease and desist teaching the very facts that you ascribe above. Why? Because it did not hold with what they BELIEVED to be true. For a time he obeyed his leaders, but eventually his knowledge of truth one out, and he again spoke out. In 1633, a church court was held for heresy. He would spend the rest of his life as an outcast and under arrest. It wasn't until 1992 that the church acknowledged their error and apologized for their treatment of Galileo. So facts are by definition truths. Belief is another matter entirely. You example does not prove your point, on the contrary it proves your null hypothesis. Which is probably fittingly as Galileo would have it. -RM

My take. Can feelings lead to a testimony? Yes. Can feeling lead to false impressions? Yes. I have no problems with relying upon feelings to bridge the darkness where knowledge does not exist. Such is the manner of faith. As knowledge and facts become available THEN if my faith was placed in true priniciples then I should not fear the light and truth for the facts will not contradict my faith. If my faith was placed in untruths, half truths or lies, then knowledge and facts will reveal it for what it was. False. -RM

You. Are. Being. Played. -RM

I loved the slip of waist food. :-) -RM

Good luck, and best wishes. You willl hear from many who say it was the greatest two years of their life. I try to live my life so that each succeeding year is better than the last, so I can't say that. But I can say it was good. Some advice, for what it is worth....take it slowly. Don't feel like you have to, or even are going to conquer the world from day one. Take each day as an opportunity to learn something new: something about the culture, your companion, the Gospel, the language, the way in which you learn, etc. Understand that this is going to be a rough two years (I think you have a good grasp on that) but that you can do it. At the same time, be sure that you are doing what you want to do as well. I don't say that in terms of "well I want to go see this movie so I'm going to." You need to be obedient, but you also need to understand the letter of the law and the spirit of the law and how those two things work. IF I could offer you no other advice than that it would be the one thing I would share. Understand the letter and the spirit of the law. Understand where YOU are with regards to those things. Understand that your companion(s) may be somewhere else. It is, in my experience, the biggest source of companion problems as well as general angst with rules etc. You need to know where you stand. I will use an example from your own post....contacting family. The rule says only call home twice a year. How are you going to react in a situation in which you learn by a letter that something is seriously wrong at home, or you have a problem in the field that you believe only your family can solve? Letter of the law obedient? Spirit of the law obedient? Are they different? If so, how so? Remember that there were many Letter of the law aspects that the Savior himself broke because the spirit of the law was important. But he also said, "if ye love me, keep my commandments." For me that is one of the biggest challenges of the mission. How you answer those questions. Now most importantly. Good luck, and enjoy it. Hard? yes. Fun? For sure. Best advice I recieved was from my trainer who said: There are 3 types of missionaries: 1. The jokers. They don't care about the gospel. They are out for a good time, or because dad promised them a new car, or because their gf was going to break up with them if they didn't come out 2. The pharasee's. For these missionaries picking out a tie is a matter of fasting and prayer. They don't really care about the gospel either. They care about looking good in the eyes of others. 3. The boys. The boys have fun. When they work, they work hard. When they play, they play hard. But whether they are working or whether they are playing they are having fun, because the gospel is meant to be joyful, and if you aren't having fun, you're doing something wrong. I always tried to be one of the boys. What abou you? -RM

Then I think it depends on what we mean by respect and who gets to determine the measurement criteria. Redding said that meaning is determined by the receiver. I think that by that standard the best individuals to ask how respectful we are would be our none-LDS friends and neighbors, less actives, and ex-members. They would be the ones that could accurately describe how respectful we really are. I would think that as a group that our perception is we are a very respectful people. I would guess that if we really sought for understanding and asked those we contact, we would have a wide spectrum of answers. For example, take the less active that asks for no contact. It might not be that they don't believe, it could be that they are experiencing familial problems that HT and VT visits do not help. Do we respect that, or do we continue to contact, or assign a new HT/VT so that they have an excuse to visit or write a letter? If we try to share the gospel with our friends and they tell us that they are happy with their religion, do we continue to be friends and not discuss the church, do we drop them since they are not going to join, or do we try to introduce the gospel into their lives when the opportunity presents itself. How to they percieve that? I do believe that the vast majority of LDS if queried would believe that they are respectful. -RM

Cooling, perhaps I can help. Part of this is that you have what Doctrine and Covenants 89 (Word of Wisdom) says, and then you have the official stance (interpretation) of the church. This is the interpretation as given by a prophet of the church which is where the coffee, tea, and alcohol come from. You will note that none of those are mentioned in those words in the scripture itself. Then you have interpretations of the individual members that many want to also find apostolic basis for. This includes things like coke or pepsi, green tea, non-alcoholic beer or wine, etc. That is why, I think, you are seeing from some that it is a matter of personal revelation and from others that it is a matter of obedience. There is truth in both stances. The question as asked to member is: Do you keep the word of wisdom. -RM

Vort and I seem to disagree on a lot of things. Not on this one. Follow Vort's advice. If it is bothering you, there is probably a reason. If you think you should talk to the bishop, you probably should. And like Vort says, he has heard worse. Believe me! The fact that you are happily married and have made changes in your life on your own speak volumes about the real you. Go see him. You'll feel better. -RM

Good clarification Pam. Thank you. -RM

OUCH! That was a bit harsh. -RM

Slamjet, It seems like you have handled this very well. I wish you all the best on your journey. -RM

Cool article Pam. Thanks for sharing that link. -RM

I completely agree Loudmouth. My statement was more of how I would probably answer question #3 as posed by the OP. I'll be the first to recognize that it probably wouldn't help my case, and it does make sense why the church would do this, as I'm sure they use it as a measuring stick for how humble and submissive (repentent) the person is. It would just be something I would have a hard time answering is all. -RM

Your husband has an obligation to attend AT with his unit. I don't know how you propose to get him out of that. If your concern is with your husbands behavior while he is there, I would suggest an open and none threatening conversation with him. If you feel that you can't have that conversation then there is something else wrong in the relationship than this trip or his or your membership status. -RM

I might give you that as ANTI. I have a harder issue when people want to include such authors as Palmer, Poll, Van Wagoner, Quinn, and Roberts in their categories. There is a difference IMHO between honest inquiry and statment of facts than there is an intentional outset to destroy. -RM

Not having been in that position makes the attempt difficult. However, I think I would have a problem with 3. "Transgressions committed during your disciplinary period, even if they have been resolved with priesthood leaders including when they have occurred." If I had already repented and resolved these with priesthood leaders, I think I would be tempted to write: 3. None. Any that I did have were resolved and the Lord remembers them no more, so I feel no need to rehash them. If I DO need to rehash does that mean that what I did with priesthood leaders is of no efficacy? If that is the case why was it required that I do so. If they are resolved, then why do I need to include them here. Probably would lead to me not being reaccepted, but then I have a personal testimony of Joseph's statement when he said, "We have heard men who hold the priesthood remark that they would do anything they were told to do by those who preside over them—even if they knew it was wrong. But such obedience as this is worse than folly to us. It is slavery in the extreme. The man who would thus willingly degrade himself should not claim a rank among intelligent beings until he turns from his folly. A man of God would despise this idea. Others, in the extreme exercise of their almighty authority have taught that such obedience was necessary, and that no matter what the Saints were told to do by their presidents, they should do it without any questions. When Elders [leaders] of Israel will so far indulge in these extreme notions of obedience as to teach them to the people, it is generally because they [the leaders] have it in their hearts to do wrong themselves." -RM

I think the answer to your question is in the first two words of your post....... My Friend...... If that part is true, does the rest of it matter? Any of it? Every one of my friends has problems and issues....every single one of them, and here's the thing. So do I. I'm grateful that they still love me and care for me. I think you can share with him what you think and feel, but you need to make sure that you are sharing, not actively trying to change him. That needs to come from somewhere else. Inside himself, the spirit, etc We change when we want to....not when others make us. Remember it is the adversary that believes in force, manipulation, and conditions. Your answer in my humble opinion was already discovered when you said the words...."my friend" -RM

I'm sorry, but WHAT?!?! If you are maintaining a years supply of food, then you are NOT SAVING ANYTHING! You are simply using sugare that you bought for $12 and replacing it with sugar that you bought for $15. If you don't replace it you don't have a years supply If you wait until it is all gone to replace it....and commodity prices continue to increase then what you really did was eat your $12 sugar and replace it with 2 $18 sugars (one for storage and one for hte one you need right now.) I'm all for a years supply. I think this is VERY good council from our church leaders. We have had an instance where we have used it during a time of financial crisis, and for that short term, yes it saved us money. But iin the end, if you are using your food storage and rotating it, it is NOT a money saving venture. To portray it as such is intellectually dishonest. -RM

I"m a bit obtuse, but it seems to me that when God is speaking to a modern prophet of this dispensation he can be as direct and clear as he needs to be....otherwise, why have a prophet. It looks like God was pretty direct to Joseph. The WoW is a greeting, not a commandment or constraint. It advises against hot drinks....so I don't have hot coffee, hot tea, or hot chocolate. It also advises against strong drink....so I save the vodka for the cleansing of wounds etc. Of course it also recommends Barley for "mild drinks" - beer, but I don't like the taste of it. Tobacco, never interested me. I love fruit and grains, so I am ok there....especially Barley soup. I LOVE barley soup. I'm working on being less of a carnivore. The other stuff, caffiene, mild drinks, I answer the TR questions accordingly. --RM

Ok, my stairway to heaven post was flippant, I admit it. But if you really want to know....what Mirkwood said! Great post. -RM

So Jerome do you subscribe to that world view? Should we or should be not treat others differently based upon physical characteristics? -RM