[I'm Tired of Suicidal Thoughts]

Hi:

I just read your post. I'm sorry you are feeling badly. Please don't take the general conference statement personally.

My questions to you: are you a perfectionist? I know some psychologists consider depression a feeling of self-hate. I wonder if you are expecting too much of yourself and don't see the good part of you.

I hear you that you are basically ok, just blue. But I'm wondering if you are seeing yourself as others see you. A good friend of mine committed suicide last fall. He was brilliant, kind, extremely well respected, had a magnificent testimony (actually was reason I converted), and tons of friends and family. I'm helping to settle the estate, and have now reviewed some of his private writings. He saw himself differently...(all bad).

So, please try something for me. Take care of yourself the way you would recommend that some else treat themself. The dialetic therapy...I'm not too familiar with it...I think it involves reframing thought patterns in a way that could be helpful.

I am not much a proponent of medications, perhaps because they were so badly misused on me. They may be nessessary for a time, I think the goal would be to learn to live ones life with a clear view that Heavenly Father loves us. I am speaking soley for myself.

Now, to be clear, there are biochemical things that happen like Manic/depressive, Schizophrenia and other problems that must be medicated.

[I'm Tired of Suicidal Thoughts]

Thanks for your thoughts. I need to do some more cognitive therapy. I am not good at sticking to it.

Yes, it runs in the family. I'm not sure about who has taken what meds.

I have tried Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Ativan, Paxil, Prozac, Celexa, and a few others. I have been on Effexor (venlafaxin) for 9 years. I hate it, but can't leave it. I should check out transcranial magnetic stimulation.

Cognitive Therapy is vastly different than Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It really seems silly at first, but I have learned that I can change my own thoughts, and that has been powerful in my life.

Also, there is this farcical idea that we need to be the person that everyone else thinks we should be. We need to be who we really are, and not who our families, friends, or our employers think we should be.

[Ex CIA says Al-Quieda does not exist.]

Black March:

Oh, make no mistake, I am a patriotic American. I just have a bit of truck with certain individuals in our government both present and past.

AND, I increasingly see people as citizens of the world because now more than ever before, actions in a country half the world away can affect people right here. Sometimes I fear that there is nothing special about humans at all, rather we are just loathesome predators.

[Ex CIA says Al-Quieda does not exist.]

The idea that water rights in the Middle East is the cause of conflict is something I have never heard of before, though I do not doubt it at all. Perhaps that is part of the missing information that I seek.

I can certainly see people in conflict over the water in the Sea of Galilee. And, surprisingly there is a lot of farming in Syria, a place I thought was mostly desert.

[I'm Tired of Suicidal Thoughts]

I understand why people are tired of living in this world but aren't you afraid of what the next world will be for you if you take your life? I to suffer from depression and have wanted to die but never wanted to kill myself because of the fear I would have of facing Heavenly Father. Some things that have helped my depression is work work work!! If I am busy I am not thinking of my problems.Service to others is also helpful.Scripture study,Prayer,Blessings from the priesthood.I am also on prozac which helps but what I have said before is what has helped me the most.Oh and also talking to others was so helpful. You CAN live with depression.Satan knows this weakness so he will probably try to stomp all over you but God is stronger than Satan and you CAN overcome him!!!

I'm not depressed, but do once in a while have thoughts of suicide. I am not going to over spiritualize on this, because they are just thoughts, and when I did what I was supposed to do, the thought went away.

For the first time in my 65 years, I believe that Heavenly Father loves me, and I no longer believe that when painful things happen to us, Heavenly Father is mad at us. So, aside from the devout reverence that I feel for Heavenly Father, I do not fear him, other than knowing full well that he created my body from mud, and can tear me apart to my most basic elements at any time.

[I'm Tired of Suicidal Thoughts]

I am sorry. I do not mean to be argumentative, but did you know that in the US, Doctors and other practitioners are given a commission on drugs prescribed? I was prescribed very heavy doses of Welbutren, Celexa, and Trazidone. I have not been on Welbutrin and Celexa since early 2007, and take a small fraction of what I used to take of Trazidone. I am now told that Welbutrin increases suggestibility, and does not relieve Depression, and Celexa, an antianxiety med causes dramatic weight gain.

The DBT did help me a lot, but in light of my experiences, I think the most significant thing one can do for a chronically depressed person is to help them to see what is causing the depression. In my case, it was a bad marriage and untreated extreme childhood abuse.

The most healing thing that has happened to me in the last 10 years was for the Holy Spirit to reveal to me, how much Heavenly Father loves me, and he placed me, for the first time in my entire life with people who are loving and kind and endeavor to follow God.

Much peace

Hala

[I'm Tired of Suicidal Thoughts]

I hope this is not the wrong place to put this thread. Almost every morning I think "I don't want to be alive anymore" or "I want to do die." Nearly every day I think about suicide. I am also saddened by the following:

The Rock of Our Redeemer - general-conference

That "MOST of us" part gets to me. I believe I am not included there. For me, sadness and fear do not melt away to be replaced with happiness and peace when I trust in the Lord. That's a bummer.

There is no imminent danger, here. Don't call the police or anyone else. I am just looking for some hope.

I am sorry for your pain. I had non reactive suicidal thoughts most of my life. In fact I had one this morning. However, from 2006 to 2010, I spent 3 hours a week in a program called "Dialectical Behavior Therapy". For the first two years, I thought it was pretty lame, but I went. It is a program to change the way we think about things.

For example, this morning I got up feeling uneasy and even after I prayed, I still felt very melancholy for a number of reasons that just aren't important now. So, today because I could, instead of eating a good breakfast, I went to Mcdonalds, got some food and left for a road trip, and a nice walk.

We can't always just run off, but some other things we can do when the darkness sets in is to have a warm bath, with scented candles, eat some ice creme, go for a walk, call someone and ask them how they are doing.

I just don't think that we have failed Heavenly Father when we are blue, and he has given us the tools to make ourselves feel better.

If you would like to talk, please message me.

Much peace

Hala

[Ex CIA says Al-Quieda does not exist.]

whatever neame they choose, the individuals who were involved in the 9-11 attacks were very real, and there are still those within their circle of influence that are still alive and kicking who wish to wage war upon the US by whatever means they see fit to use, regardless of cost or who is hurt.

The West, specifically the Military/Industrial complex created the conditions that made the terrorists think that an attack on the West was their only option. It is not about religion at all, but about evil men taking advantage of the poor, and the evil leaders are both in the West and in the Middle East.

One of my friends, who says she converted to Islam because of me, said that when she married her husband and moved to Jordan, she was in for the surprise of her life. After being there a while, she said the most devout Muslims are in the US, because in the US, there is choice and only those who wish to be Muslim do it. She says that in Jordan, and many other places in the Middle East, people have no choice; they must be Muslim or else.

Many people in the Middle East become violent out of pure economic desparation, not for religous purposes, and to say other wise is simplistic.

Western news media simplistically portrays Middle Easterners as being hostile for no good reason. I think that of all people Mormons should be most up on world politics and the attitudes of the people outside the US, because we have people all over the place.

I know that we are supposed to obey those over us, but sometimes I am dumfounded at how people like the Mormons who have been systematically deprived of first ammendment rights right from the beginning could be so committed to certain individuals in our government.

[Ex CIA says Al-Quieda does not exist.]

This is pretty common faire in Middle Eastern News agencies, and I am just curious about how Mormons will respond to what this man is saying.

Saudi Arabia: CIA Agent Exposes How Al-Qaeda Doesn?t Exist American Bedu

[Is it ethical for cops to lie, coerce?]

I think it would be perhaps one of the most comforting thing a young woman could have happen to her to have her dad come get her. Of course that is not saying that he did not give her a stern talkin' to, and help her to make sure that the wipers got taken care of.

When my youngest Daughter got her driver's license, before her Dad would give her the keys to the cars, he took her out and helped her to change the oil and filter, check the belts, check the air in the tyres, and then made sure that she knew how to jack the car up.

She still remembers that as one of the fondest memories she has of her Father.

Sometimes it is just not about discipline but about caring and love.

[Is it ethical for cops to lie, coerce?]

And you have my respect.

[Surviving tragic loss.]

I tend to agree with your Bishop -- it would have been a true test of your faith whether you were willing to leave everything and walk across the frontier 1000 or more miles for your religion.

Let alone being physically capable of doing that.

Of course, in full historical context, we were having a Depression worse than the one in the 20th century, and by modern thinking, I am wondering if the Civil War was actually fought as a way to bolster the Military/Industrial complex? And, the Irish Potato Famine was driving immigration. So, I can see where there was a sort of perfect storm in the formational years of the Mormon Church.

Please make no mistake, this is not an attack on the validity of the Mormon Church.

I just think that there were a lot of factors, allowed by Heavenly Father that drove the imigration to what was first called Deseret. I hope that time will show that I and many others are no less devout than they were.

[Is it ethical for cops to lie, coerce?]

I think I saw that in the field manual.

[human rights for ambiguous gender]

When I first started with the Missionary Sisters, they would say things like Heavenly Father, and it felt like my soul was jarred. I could not understand how anyone could put "Heavenly" and "Father" together in the same sentence. The word Father always carried great menace for me.

I did not look for it, the healing came to me unbidden, but especially since my Baptisim Heavenly Father has healed my soul in ways that I thought not possible. It was like I was a wild animal and God just tamed me. And it feels good, and secure to be able to relax in Heavenly Father's love.

I hope that what I write does not get too soppy for you all. It just feels so wonderful to be able to express my love for Heavenly Father.

[Surviving tragic loss.]

And, upon reflection, I can see where hardship can make us better, more compassionate people.

[Is it ethical for cops to lie, coerce?]

I guess Im one of the few that don't consider this a big deal and if your sister is a ditz like you say, I can see the humor in it. If she slowed down in order to see, that's smart though she should have pulled over or stayed at the friend's. But slowing down isn't necessarily dangerous. If I saw someone going really slow, yeah, I'd probably call the cops, but not out of fear of my life. From what the OP said it sounds like this girl gets it. If we spent all our time worrying about what could have happened we would be wasting a lot of time.

I'm curious to know if the accusations continued after she passed all the tests. I see how that could be justified to get someone you really do suspect of high/drunk driving to confess, but after awhile you should probably look at other factors.

I thought it was funny, cute and lovable for her Father to come and rescue her from the policemen. :) Many of us never had a father like that, and this example just gives me the warm fuzzies.

[human rights for ambiguous gender]

I would guess in most cases the child will grow up with a sexual identity from their inside feelings although hormones could interfere.

The possibility of the human body being messed up always bothers me in trying to form an opinion on gender issues. We CANNOT know, except by revelation, the true answer in ambiguous cases. It behooves us to withhold judgment.

An that is one of the main reasons that the Missionary Sisters won my heart. The Holy Spirit used them to show me just how mindful, thoughtful, and sweet Mormons can be in areas that the evangelicals and others break into foaming at the mouth over.

In the short time I have been with the church, I feel that so much psychotherapy and counseling would simply be unneeded if those suffering simply had people around them who loved them and tried to understand.

Sometimes, I wonder if life long LDS members really understand how unique our church is and how much Heavenly Father loves us.

[Surviving tragic loss.]

I spent a few minutes watching the Texas Tornado reports today, and wondered how people who lost their houses, cars, and even family managed to cope with it all?

At Christmas of 2004, I lost my house, family, got a divorce, lost my job, church, friends; everthing except my car. I was a mess and cried for months. It took me two years I think to begin to function again.

So, my experiences have really sharpened my compassion for those who lose everything. How about whole communities that are wiped out by storm, earthquake or fire?

This brings to mind how early Mormons must have felt in the formational years of the church where they were driven from town to town, murdered, raped and robbed. It makes me angry that they were not extended first amendment rights. In my amateur studies of American History in the 1800's, it is fairly plain that the frontier was quite lawless. Infant mortality was around 50% I think, and many wives died in child birth. My, what a bleak setting to grown up in.

I simply can not imagine pulling a hand cart for 1000, or is it 1200 miles across the prairie. What pain it must have been to lose wives, husbands, children or entire families. Can you imagine fording half frozen rivers and creeks?

My Bishop says that people were more hardy then, and that today most people could not do what the settlers did.

[A very, very important question.]

What kind of Easter candy is in your house now, or will be by Saturday?

We have Cadbury Mini Eggs (we go through the blasted things almost as fast as we can buy them) and original Starburst jelly beans. Baskets Saturday usually include a chocolate bunny, marshmallow eggs, and Peeps.

This will be my first Easter in 7 years, and I plan to thank Heavenly Father for all that has happened.

As far as the Candy and Easter eggs are concerned, with no children in the house I doubt that I'll do anything. I was going to say the candy and eggs were a pagan custom, but I know if there were children here, I would never get away with that.

[Is it ethical for cops to lie, coerce?]

I have a fear of cops because I think they'll all pull me over, but I've never had a cop be mean to me.

I have this Authority, fear, obedience thing conditioned into me from my years of living with a very authoritarian non practicing Amish man. So when that man in blue shows up, there is no chance that I will do anything but what he asks.

[Is it ethical for cops to lie, coerce?]

I was worried that it was swearing in the UK and I did not know it. LOL I know that Bl***y is, so refrain, even though I know people who use it with abandon.

Hala

[Racisim in Scripture]

I'm to new as a member of the church to know the background in the Book of Mormon, but hopefully, I will learn more as time goes on, plan to learn more.

I have traveled a fair bit and personally see no reason to descriminate against another human being no matter what the issue is, and my stance has gotten me into a fair amount of trouble. AND, being a white American have experienced a little prejudjing by others. In Kenya, they assume that all Americans are rich. Many Muslims assume that an American Muslim Woman who does not speak Arabic is somehow not worthy. In Alaska, if you are not a Native, try to get a job. The list just goes on and on does it not?

[Is it ethical for cops to lie, coerce?]

Like I said earlier, I understand why they might want to test the brownies, but finding the brownies came after the search so couldn't have been a factor in probable cause. Which it's been clarified they didn't have, they just used the straight forward tactic of asking for consent.

Well, lets look at this from the point of view of the poor plod. First you have a female driver who is apparently operating a motor vehicle in a dangerous and unsafe manner, in the rain, and probably posing a hazard to other motorists. She did not excercise a lot of common sense by going out at night in a vehicle with bad wipers. And, I am sorry, her lame excuse would be doubly lame if she got in an accident and had to face the consequences of such activity.

Her Father is also partially culpable for allowing said juvenile female on the road in a defective vehicle. It is an amazingly distasteful stereotype that has women unable to find their way around the area where they live. Poppy ****! It is no excuse at all in my estimation.

The fact remains that this young woman escaped a traffic stop with out a citation and to me that amounts to neglect of duty by the police. So, lets not be too harsh on the people sent out there to protect us from our stupid selves.

[Racisim in Scripture]

Wow, you all get really intense! Please let me know how this comes out. :)

[Is it ethical for cops to lie, coerce?]

Wow, I'm kinda surprised that pulling over someone who (presumably) passed the field sobriety test resulted in having probable cause to search the car.

Well, being from Oregon, the weed capitol of the US, the presence of brownies means that there very likely is weed in them, at least in Oregon.

LESSON 1:

Get wipers fixed.

LESSON2:

Get GPS and learn to use it. AND GPSs will work in Utah, you just have to learn to enter addresses in a protocol that it likes. :)