eddified

Snopes says the story is fake: http://www.snopes.com/texas-man-prostitute-wife/

I hope no one gets the wrong impression: I hate porn and wish the world would be rid of it. I really hate how it uses and abuses daughters of God. It is very, very evil. It is a plague. Literally a spiritual plague. Exposure to it leads many men to get the wrong ideas about how to treat women and wrong ideas about sex. It ruins marriages. No doubt about this. I've seen it in my extended family. If you view it, even just "occasionally", you should speak with your bishop. And just STOP! It is a vile and repulsive habit.

I'll say it again since I think it bears repeating, for those who passed over my longer post above simply because it was long: Elder Oaks said this in a talk about overcoming pornography: "In fact, most young men and young women who struggle with pornography are not addicted. That is a very important distinction to make" Hear that? "a VERY IMPORTANT distinction to make". I encourage you to learn why by reading the full talk: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/10/recovering-from-the-trap-of-pornography?lang=eng

Sure. There are risks. I just hate to see there being only one right answer to a question. Is it correct to suggest using an attorney for immigration issues? Yes. Is it correct to suggest you can do it on your own? Yes. Many people do it on their own, and the risks maybe aren't as high as defending yourself in court. Whether to use an attorney for immigration issues is a value judgement. If you value your time, and the help of the attorney, more than the $200-$500, that's your value judgement to make. If you value your $200-$500 more than being shielded from the risks, and more than the time you would spend researching it yourself, that's your value judgement to make, and I wouldn't be telling you that you are wrong to make it. If I'm a young, healthy 25-year old taken to court on a murder case, you bet your britches a lawyer is worth it. If I'm 70 years old and my poor health leads to a poor quality of life so I'm suffering big time, my outlook on life will be much different. In this case, my value judgement might be that 20 years in prison, or death by electric chair, isn't much worse than the 5 years I've already spent, lonely, in the nursing home. So maybe I'd try my hand at doing it myself. (But as I understand it U.S. law doesn't allow passing debts to your heirs, so getting into debt big time on a lawyer so late in life might not be a big deal.... but in countries where you can inherit debt, I may value the money savings of representing myself in court much more than having the lawyer -- don't want to hand all this debt down to my heirs.)

@a mustard seed I can understand your perspective on this issue, knowing what I know about your mother (from your forum posts). I can see your mother's behavior really hurts you and your siblings. That's a regrettable situation. It would be nice if she would seek help for her alcoholism etc.

Here are a few quotes I pulled from "Recovering From the Trap of Pornography", by Elder Oaks, quorum of the twelve apostles. https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/10/recovering-from-the-trap-of-pornography?lang=eng (emphasis added by me), and: (emphasis added by me). If the label "addict" helps someone seek help, that's a good thing. If someone realizes they are *not* an addict, and therefore feel EMPOWERED such that they feel they *DO* have the ability to to just stop it, ... if that helps them, then that is a good thing. I fell into both categories at different points in my life. At this point I do not consider myself an addict. It helps me to realize it is fully within my control. - And I have made amazing progress.

Yup, one could consider TV and card games a mindless waste of time too. The occasional wholesome nature TV show like Planet Earth ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planet_Earth_(TV_series) ) can be a good use of time, but most TV shows are not worth my time spent watching them. Including BYU TV's Granite Flat's... I watched every episode and I'm wishing I hadn't, it was a waste of time. Thanks everybody, I will take a long hard look at the time I spend on video games (even though it's like 5 hours a month) and think about taking that down to just 1 (an hour spent playing them with my wife *only*. If that's my restriction then very little will I play indeed.) I used to enjoy violent games but I've sworn them off. I agree everyone should probably stay away from games involving killing (rated "T" or above). I really don't think the Spirit is around when I play those types of games.

If you had Direct help from @anatess2's Family then maybe you could do that -- it sounds like they know what they're doing. But seeing as how you can't actually get direct help from her family easily ( she's just a random stranger on the Internet to you as far as I know ) that may not be the way to go.

People do things on their own all the time. It's actually normal. Don't want to hire a professional to teach you to swim? Great! Want to renovate your bathroom on your own? Do it! Yes there are risks. Life is risky! Get over it. Want to hire a professional for X? I'm all for that too. It sure is easier. Edit: more thoughts: People can do things on their own while still mitigating risks. It's called doing your homework. Some go all in without researching it, and get into big trouble. Others do their homework and get into big trouble, too. Yet others hire the professional and still get into trouble. It's life. If you want to do it yourself, then do it! It's even possible to be your own lawyer in court. I wouldn't recommend it but the law is all laid out for anyone to read : if you've time on your hands and tons of patience you can defend yourself in court too. I wouldn't recommend it but I've heard of it being done successfully. In many activities if you do your homework then you can make your risk exposure very very small.

Golden eye and Mario kart -- such classics!! They should both be in "eddified's video game hall of fame"

Hey @MormonGator did you play NBA Jam back in the day? I recently started teaching my boys how to play and it's a riot.

Caution: thread jack ahead. This is no longer about why video games are evil. It's now about what your favorite evil video games are. My faves are often local multiplayer games, but not limited to them. - PS3 Bomberman Ultra - Great party game. - PS2 Dance Dance Revolution - get your exercise in! - Nintendo 64 - Super Smash Brothers. 4-player brawl ! - Nintendo 64 - New Tetris - give garbage lines to your opponents! - PS3 - Little Big Planet - 4 - player platformer

I was just joking around.

There is a danger, a harm, with telling the YSA ward that they probably have a pornography addiction, when it's not an addiction. Yes it's absolutely a sin, and must be avoided like the plague. And you should speak with the bishop if you viewed it. But the moment someone decides that they are "addicted", it can have a negative impact on their ability to stop. As stated by others above, the label "addict" brings to mind ideas like they "can't" stop.... even though they really can. They still have agency. They still have some control over their lives. If they really are out of control then that is a different matter. But for those who view it "casually"... perhaps it's better to avoid the label of "addict". Its entirely possible that that young man was trying to rationalize. Perhaps he has the wrong idea about the whole "addict-vs-non-addict" idea.

Wait, what phone number did you use to get ahold of Google?!

I agree with you to an extent. Again my card playing analogy comes up: if anyone describes themself as a "dedicated card player" I would ask they take a long hard look at their dedication to what I would term to be an idle pursuit. Same for video games. I too believe lots of time is wasted on them. Edit: or a dedicated tv watcher.

I think you forgot to drop the mic ? . Great point !

I agree that video game playing can be idle -- in the same way as playing cards can be. Previous presidents of the church have decried all types of card games (I think), saying they are idle. That said, I don't see any harm in playing a fun, wholesome party game with other people. This is what I love to do - play multi-player video games with my children and wife and brother in law (or what have you). I personally don't play video games often. But I admit they can hold a power over some people. They can be very addictive. I have no problem with someone that has a goal to never play video games -- for whatever reason, whether it be they believe video games are idle, or they used to be addicted to them and need to stay away, or any other reason whatsoever. A fun party game with the kids is 4-player Tetris. My wife plays too.

Are there previous threads about video games? I haven't seen them. (Haven't looked, either.)

Relevant link: https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/06/30/feminists-treat-men-badly-its-bad-for-feminism/

What the Stanford swimmer Brock Turner got away with was absolutely disgusting. I'm glad a big deal was made out of that. It's good that you pointed out most feminists aren't man-haters. But the way the media portrays it.... well, let's just say the media thrive on sensationalism. And most people here who dislike feminism are responding to the media's version of feminism, I would guess. I think your assertion that "we largely have feminism to thank for it" is just unfounded assumption. @anatess2 has showed some indications that that might not be true.

From the rebuttal article: Let's not discredit someone because of their gender. Knowing someone's gender can help you interpret their views, but let's be careful not to discredit someone's views simply because of their gender--that's sexism.

@Anddenex, @anatess2, could it be that in a situation such as this (where your spouse is presenting themselves to the public as the opposite sex, and dressing up as the opposite sex, etc), that there isn't only one right option? Could there be more than one right option? The Lord lets us choose. Jesus gave the 12 Nephite disciples a choice about death and 3 of them chose something different. Not wrong, not right... just different. Could it be that @Anddenex's view is not wrong, just different? Staying with a spouse no matter what is commendable. But clearly the Lord allows divorce under extreme cases, with no condemnation (as far as I can tell). Might these just be different choices, with one not being greater than the other?

What is your reasoning for asking this question? I don't understand what your issue is with @priesthoodpower's statement about the prophet.

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