eddified

@Vort why do you believe "plural marriage" to be a better term, and why is it better?

Some people with doubts may find that it matters very much. Personally I find that it matters because the trial of polygamy, in a sense, really helps show Joseph's true character as a prophet of God. I do see your point though, and I agree with the sentiment-- the Holy Ghost has impressed on my mind the truthfulness of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, so any facts I may learn about polygamy shouldn't affect that testimony.

I really wonder if this guy is actually repentant. The way he goes after several girls at once, I think, shows he's pretty rotten. It sounds like he has decided that he just wants lots of sex. To me this is a far cry from someone who developed a loving relationship with one woman, and then later succumbed to the physical urges. I'd like to be wrong but this just feels like the difference between (a) resisting temptation but falling in anyway, vs (b) loving it, deciding to jump in head first, and becoming past feeling. I mean it just sounds really, really far out there. So my advice is pray for discernment to know if he is repentant. And I don't know how you would do this being young and all, but suddenly becoming wiser about these things is what you need really badly right now. The next best thing is to consult with those who are wise in these matters like your bishop, a trusted wise family member, and last but certainly not least, with God. If he's not repentant I'm not sure you should put yourself through the pain of staying with a serial adulterer for the rest of your life. But that certainly is an option. The Atonement is real and works. But my basic sniff test says run as fast as you can. I sure hope I'm wrong. Best scenario is he repents and you repair the marriage together. That's what I think we're all hoping for.

What I mean is the word "knock" may have been made up, and not appropriated from a different language. If "knock" was made up then it wasn't appropriated by the English language any more than you appropriated your own parents' colloquialisms.

Parenting pro tip: whenever a child says something "is not fair", I make two points: Agree with them that it's not fair, but what of it? (I.e. it doesn't matter) I say, "Did I ever say I was going to make it fair?" - (to which the response is always, "...no..."). I am very explicit with my children that my wife and I DO NOT CARE about making things perfectly fair. (But we do actually try to be fair - that is, we do care about fairness, we love all of our children equally.) The trick is making them understand that we parents can never, ever, make everything fair -- it's impossible to do! And wow, @Just_A_Guy's post was really great.

@NeuroTypical, the way you are talking about language roots is kind of silly. You do have a good point about taking words from other languages, but I wouldn't say "appropriation" is applicable to all of the words you stated as your examples. All languages change over time. So before english, there was something else. English was derived primarily from middle English, right? And before that, early English, no? I mean, I'm no linguist, but English wasn't at the tower of Babel, so it is an *evolved* language. So, words coming from languages from which English is primarily derived, I wouldn't consider to have been "appropriated". But words like "jalapeño" are definitely "appropriated". For example, your citation of "Knock: West Saxon "cnucian""... this is a case where, in my opinion, "appropriation" is not what happened. The saxons were the ancestors of the English people, right? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saxons So this example of "knock" being appropriated is quite a stretch. Instead, it could be called 'language heritage'. Let me give an analogy. If we think of the words in the "English language" as a family, more specifically, as a set of siblings, then I would consider words 'adopted' into the family (such as "jalapeño" or "tortilla") as "appropriated", but I would not consider words like "knock" as being appropriated since its root ("cnucian") is an ancestor of the family.

Along the lines of MrShorty's most recent comments, think about this: how will knowing the details of her sexual history help you? I'm not sure you will want to know those details, in the long term.

The fact that she would tell you this about her, without even being asked, says a lot about her and how she feels about you. She seems like she might be a good catch, provided you are happy with everything else you know about her.

#5 isn't a cultural thing. It's a relationship thing. I don't think LDS culture says anything about the matter. It really just depends on what you feel comfortable asking of someone that you are in a relationship with. When people become really close they tend to open up about these things. If you are not close enough to her to be comfortable asking the question, then maybe you need to let some more time pass before you get close enough to be able to ask it. In other words you might still get closer and then you can ask her. If you never get to that point then perhaps you should pass on her and find someone who you are comfortable with asking such questions. I say this because it seems to me you feel like you should be close enough to someone to be able to ask that question. If that is your standard for someone to marry then keep to it. I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. Shorty's comment under (1). This is your decision and you are fully justified in making such a decision for your own spouse and eternal marriage. He also makes a good point under (2) that you should make a distinction between "sexually pure" and "virginity". However I will note that the book of Mormon uses the word "Chastity" in the sense of "virginity". See Moroni 9:9-10. My point is this : "Chasity" can mean different things in different contexts. I think in modern context it usually means clean and sexually pure. I will repeat: it is not evil to have a goal of marrying a virgin. You should forgive her, but that does not necessarily mean that you should stick with her if it does not match your personal preferences and goals. Whether it is a good idea to leave her in the hopes that you might find something better later is an entirely different matter. How old are you? (Rhetorical question) You might want to take that in to consideration. I'm just making the point that you won't have endless chances to get married. Especially if you have very high standards. You said, " it almost seems like I am being punished for her sins as well". Note that this is true of all kinds of sin not just sexual sin and not just in marriage. The sins we commit will always be hurting other people. It's just part of life. Note that you'll never find anyone perfect. I'm lucky because I got someone who almost is I'll be very honest here: I am very, very thankful that my wife and I both saved ourselves for each other. To me this is a very great blessing. It would be hard for me if it was any other way. But please keep in mind that the Lord may have other plans for you. I wish you the best.

It may also be that God doesn't have a specific path in mind for you regarding this. He may be deferring this to your preference. Holding a preference such as yours is not a bad thing. It could be considered a neutral thing in God's eyes. In which case He will allow you to make the choice according to your preference, because your preference is important to you. There are even instances in the scriptures when God/Jesus pretty much stated that it doesn't really matter which path was chosen....

I understand your desire for a sexually pure wife. I would caution that perhaps your fears are correct. Perhaps she is still weak in it, that might be something to worry about for the long haul calld marriage. I would find out how long ago the issues occurred. Passage of time is a pretty important piece of information. On the other hand, ultimately the Holy Spirit should be your guide. God may have plans for you that perhaps go against your desire to marry a virgin. God's desires in this matter are more important than any other consideration. Get close to God. Submit yourself to His will. Fast and pray. I do not doubt that if you follow the program, God will lead you in this journey, since marriage is a decision with eternal consequences. God bless.

I did not fall into sexual transgression with any women, and saved myself for my wife. Now that I am married, I can tell you I am very glad that I saved myself. Those people that fell into sexual transgressions and then repented will always have that memory. And if they repented fully, I bet that they wish they had never strayed in the first place. My point is that you should be glad that you have stayed true to the Law of Chastity. I'm glad that you have as well. It is better to avoid the sin than to sin and then repent.

This article about cultural appropriation of food shows a very disturbing trend. It shows a trend away from Christ-like love of all fellow human beings. It shows a trend towards race-based discord and vindictiveness. Very disturbing.

I'm struggling to see what is meant by "Freedom" in this context and how it's different than liberty. I would phrase it "liberals are more about helping "victims" (whatever that means) and conservatives are about freedom and liberty. "

I enthusiastically endorse the research of Brian Hales. He has done much to dive deep into church history (primary sources) and interpret it from the perspective that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. His work can be found at JosephSmithsPolygamy.org . Also google for "Brian Hales Reddit AMA" ... he has two that are just fantastic reads. He also has written large volumes about Joseph Smith's polygamy which I have not read. The gist of his work is this: Joseph Smith had many wives, this is documented. However some were "eternity only" which based on the evidence were not consummated. Also, Joseph was commanded by an angel to practice polygamy, under penalty of death (yes, the angel actually threatened to kill Joseph with a sword if he did not practice it.) Joseph was loyal to Emma till the end in all other respects and cherished her. Joseph apparently did consummate some of his polygamous marriages, but it seems not any of them were consummated when they were still young teens. Finally, the stories told in the primary sources really do paint a picture of Joseph's polygamy being a faith-based trial, not the activities of a libertine like the anti's would have you believe. Mr Hales shared a great quote about church history. It went something like this (paraphrasing). "If your testimony is shaken by studying church history, then REALLY study it and your testimony of Joseph as a prophet of God will actually increase." Mr Hales affirmed this to be true.

What a neat story. The Lord works in mysterious ways!!

Haha, Berkeley *is* a city. Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkeley,_California

My parents went through the same thing, @person0, at least with respect to the part where your heart gets ripped out because the government decides to take a foster child away. I think your feelings are entirely normal, it shows your are a good parent.

Yes

It's like a muscle. The more you "stop it", the easier it becomes. Your "stop it" muscle will get stronger over time. Just keep fighting the fight. We're here on earth to endure to the end. So endure it. It will be worth it. When I see an attractive female, I think about how she probably has serious issues. And how she isn't my type. And how my wife and I have so much more than just attraction between us. I probably shouldn't focus on the negative issues of the attractive female, but that's what I do and it seems to help me. (I don't think of the negative things in a judging manner, it's more of a "I'm so lucky my wife isn't like that" manner.) Be grateful for what you do have. I just keep reminding myself how blessed I am to have a good marriage, and then any temptations regarding attractive females seems to melt away. For what it's worth, I suggest not even being friends with past girlfriends on Facebook. My one serious relationship pre-marriage (the one that "dear John'ed me" on my mission), she friended me on facebook years ago but I did *not* friend her back. (Just showing that I practice what I preach).

I'm appalled at how hard people have come down on @Fether. (But I guess it wasn't too hard, since @Fether is still sticking around the forum.) I share the following not for @Fether, who is now engaged, but for anyone else lurking that has felt similar feelings. I too became "cold" when it became clear that my girlfriend and I were at a point where we could get engaged. I wanted to be around her less. Not because she wasn't cute or wonderful, but because I was suffering from commitment issues. I was at BYU, where there are thousands of eligible single women walking around campus every day. I was having "the grass might be greener" mentality. I was afraid that I would end up missing out on someone prettier. I ended up deciding to date other women. We parted ways. After a few months of missing her so badly, I realized she was perfect for me. It was hard work but I won her back. I prayed about it and realized that no one is perfect--there may be someone else out there, but to pass her up would be a shame since we got along so well with each other and had similar values. We've been married for 12 years and I'm very happy. We have 6.5 children. For the longer version of the same story, you can read: https://www.reddit.com/r/latterdaysaints/comments/62gpef/coping/dfn13le/ TL;DR: I suffered commitment issues and was shallow. It's where I was at at the time. But I got through it, and pushed off the natural man that wanted the prettiest girl out there. I'd like to point out that when we want to help people who we see in situations like this, we should do so with genuine concern and love. Harsh judgement isn't as effective as charity and the pure love of Christ.

Can you please be more sensitive to your fellow brothers and sisters in the gospel? My child is pretty allergic to wheat. Not diagnosed Celiac, but has a probability of being one. Gluten makes my poor child vomit. Being diagnosed as Celiac requires expensive testing and requires that he eat Gluten for a period of time, which we know he doesn't do very well. So why put him through the testing? I'd rather not do it just so we won't be judged by ward members with a "gluten free diet" chip on their shoulder. For some reason it is hip and popular to rag on people with gluten free diets. Really not sure why. Let's be more sensitive please. Also for the record we do not ever ask for special accommodation. When there is a potluck we bring food that meets our own special needs. My son is constantly going without the treats that are brought to various functions and we do not say anything about his diet unless asked about. The only slight exception to this is nursury. We have brought our own snacks for our child to nursery every week before, and other times, we have asked the nursery leaders to refrain from feeding my child gluten. We have never asked the nursery to go out and buy gluten free foods. We know the diet is very difficult so we try our best to handle it on our own.

I understood Musk's comments to be referring only to computer simulations. Or at least some thing very similar to them. The police training simulations demonstrate someone's competency. Computer simulations only demonstrate the competency of the programmer, and the hardware which the simulations are run on. So I think these are key differences.

By definition a simulation isn't real. It can always be re-run. In this sense, simulations don't have consequences. I'm not familiar with a simulation that can't be re-run. But we're taught that this life is our only chance. And there are very real consequences to it. So in my view it is nothing at all like a simulation. I also don't find value in metaphysics. They're just fairy tales for adults. They might have value to others, but not to me.

I just meant the argument that we are in a simulation falls flat when considering religious and philosophical reasons.