NightSG

Nah; it's usually the Baptists who won't just say "all those who couldn't make it here today" and instead try to list them each by name.

Around here, several wards have Spanish speaking missionaries translating the service in realtime over the RF headsets. I know these will receive at least as far as the RS room, and likely to at least the parking spaces nearest to the transmitter. The Church has also been encouraging wards to have at least a few headsets for those with hearing difficulty and a transmitter for the regular audio. I'd expect that the bishop could make arrangements to reserve a parking space within range, and have a headset brought out.

That might break some people's brains.

However, it's common, in the case of felons, to permanently deny the right to bear arms and not the right to life. Once the right to live is denied, the right to bear arms is rather pointless. Of course, for obvious reasons, life is a one-way street; once taken, none of us has the ability to reinstate it, whereas the right to bear arms is effectively suspended for every person taken into custody, and then reinstated upon release if they don't meet the criteria for permanent revocation.

Even life can be denied to an individual duly convicted of a sufficiently serious crime. While the Second Amendment protects an important right, it is certainly a lesser right than life itself.

There you go; drive erratically in front of some state troopers, after using Night Train for mouthwash. They'll run you through a good series of exercises.

Did you need to memorize an infinite lookup table of every possible mathematical operation on every possible number in order to be able to do basic arithmetic? Learn a sample, and work on extrapolating from that.

The comprehension level is the amazing part. My cousin, given some random name dug up from I Chronicles, could immediately give the exact relation to any other name. He could also recite differences between the versions he'd memorized, explanations from other texts he'd read related to those differences and his own reasons for preferring a particular translation or interpretation of each verse. Since he was also certified to teach English, ministers would often have him look over their sermon text, after which he'd sleep through that part of the service, since he'd then remember the sermon in perfect context for the rest of his life anyway.

And in my defense, I would clean the passenger door when I had a date, though only the fast ones had to handle it themselves anyway.

This can be trained; I've never managed to stick to it long enough myself, but I had a cousin who swore his perfect recall of written information was the result of years spent memorizing the Bible in the late 1940s and early 50s, first one verse at a time, then two, and so on until he could commit multiple pages to long term memory in one sitting, and then three other versions until he just did it with any text he read automatically. He was a great teacher, but also a bit unnerving when he could quote students' papers perfectly whether he'd just finished grading them or they were handed back 10-20 years before. He had a lot of students whose parents had also been in his class, and he'd point out similarities in handwriting or phrasing to a paper he hadn't seen in a generation.

Another reason it's good to have a beater. And to wash it rarely enough that people are afraid to touch it. (I did clean the license plates, windshield and lights every time I put gas in, but the rest of it would grow a thick coat of dust and grime until I needed to clean it off to fix something.)

I suspect that, like drug dealing, many of those who do it once because they legitimately need more money faster than they can reasonably expect to get it from any legal method, get dragged into doing it full time and/or long term by the promise of far more money for similarly little effort. On the other hand, a slight variation of prostitution is somewhat legitimized even in LDS and other cultures to the extent that a woman (or man, though off the top of my head, the two guys I can think of who did similar actually married the women then divorced them within two years, so they'd have gotten half the bank accounts anyway) isn't expected or required to return even relatively large gifts given by a suitor after the breakup; for example I know of one LDS woman who has admitted to dating guys she doesn't like for several months at a time just so they'll buy her new clothes and other things. I know a non-member who brags about doing the same to get a car.

Oh, now they've just gotten too unrealistic: http://babylonbee.com/news/out-of-ideas-to-keep-church-relevant-pastor-resigns-himself-to-just-preaching-gospel/ Though this one could be the local ward: http://babylonbee.com/news/church-surrounded-by-five-nursing-homes-asks-god-to-reveal-next-ministry-opportunity/ And I'm pretty sure I've seen several of these in use: http://babylonbee.com/church-name-generator/#name

And now, while it hasn't escalated to the point of a lawsuit or proper proposal of a new law yet, there are apparently some lesbians in the UK pushing for some sort of regulation to stop them being shamed for ending relationships when they found out the "women" they were romantically involved with had male genitals. I really think we've reached the point where The Onion can't write satire more idiotic than reality.

Berlin. Chicago, while IMO, very overrated, wasn't awful. Alabama. (Amusingly, they're from Florida.)

Right, and I've scrubbed more than my share of toilets for minimum wage or not much over to keep from doing jobs I have a substantial moral (or other - I don't particularly care to deal with drunks at all, even if my job doesn't contribute to their getting that way, so law enforcement or graveyard shift fast food on bar night is in the "I'd rather scrub a toilet" category) objection to.

Interesting. I will admit to buying two quick picks any time the jackpot clears half a billion, and partly because when it was over a billion, I really wanted my first egregious display of newfound wealth to be putting the bishop in the position of having to turn down a $100 million tithing check and seeing if he could/would do it. This, though I'd say that working in or owning a gas station, grocery store, restaurant or other place where alcohol and/or tobacco sales are more incidental to the primary product(s) isn't really a big deal at all. OTOH, I'd personally rather scrub toilets than work in a typical bar where a significant number of the patrons are going purely to drink irresponsibly and make terrible decisions about who to go home with. Liquor stores would be something of a middle ground, to be determined on an individual basis; some cater to more refined tastes, primarily carrying higher quality products that are meant to take one's time with and enjoy the flavor, (I had a fifth of Glenlivet that lasted me from age 23 to nearly 30, and I think I lost it in a move with at least a couple inches still in it. A fifth of bourbon we received as a wedding present would have outlasted the marriage had her brother not finished off the still-2/3-full bottle in a week.) and some stock mainly the cheapest rotgut available for the "I just wanna chug this and get wasted" crowd.

My grandparents had a section of the enclosed back porch where they kept an ashtray and a few lighters just in case. It could be opened up via two large windows to the living room to cool it off, or four large windows to the outside to air it out, so they weren't sending guests out into the weather to smoke, while still keeping the smoke out of the house. It was mostly storage for grandma's canning and granddad's preference for buying toilet paper and paper towels by the pickup load. Later, they put a wood stove back there, and insulated exterior windows. It could be used to cook in a power outage, but filled up with mesquite and with a couple box fans in the windows to the living room, it would keep the ~3500 square foot house tolerably warm in freezing weather. Closing off the living room and kitchen from the rest of the house, it would take about an hour before you had to open up the hallways and let some of the heat out. My cousin is still using that stove to heat his poorly insulated ~150 year old 1,500 square foot house, and it will pretty much turn the whole thing into a sauna when he uses mesquite.

Well, it could have been if you'd just charred the beans beyond recognition.

Can't argue with that one; I remember as a kid going to a lot of things that had minimal snack bars onsite - museum, aquarium, zoo. Now those places have full on bars scattered around so you never have to be more than ten minutes away from a (grossly overpriced) beer. And by grossly overpriced, I mean people are paying for one Bud Light what it costs to get a six pack of quality stout at a grocery store. If you're willing to pay $10 for a glass of BL just to get your alcohol fix, you don't need a beer, you need a stern intervention.

And now there's another one to watch, though I haven't yet found an appropriate story to link to...and I'm not sure if it's possible for a news story to give an adequate amount of detail to be considered proper reporting without being pretty inappropriate. <<EDIT: Found one, right where I should have expected it: https://www.christianpost.com/news/transgender-woman-sues-waxing-spa-after-muslim-employee-declined-service-for-religious-reasons-224110/ Obviously, venture into the comments at your own risk, though I didn't see anything tasteless there yet.>> So, as gently as it can be stated, in Windsor Ontario, a transgender (i.e. still having all the male parts, but "identifying as a woman") is suing a Muslim woman who refused to give him a Brazilian wax, due to religious restrictions. I hope you can see from that, why I'm unable to find a link I'm willing to share here, and why I'm trying to be as vague as possible while making the below points, and as clinical as possible when vagueness doesn't work. Now, touching the genitals of a man she's not related to is about as clear and serious a violation of Sharia law as having a kegger in the temple would be for LDS. So, not only is the suit attempting to extort $50,000 for adhering to her religious beliefs, but also force her (and any other person) to pretend that male genitalia isn't really male genitalia because the person it's attached to "identifies as" a woman. (And presumably vice versa in the case of women "identifying as" men.) So, let's look at this in terms of how it could affect the LDS Church; (and, for that matter, any church with a strong opinion on such things as an omniscient deity actually knowing what parts a person is supposed to have, and how that relates to who they should marry) clearly a person born and raised in the Church wouldn't be able to slip such a thing by the recordkeeping, but the adult baptismal interview questions, to the best of my recollection, only cover "have you ever been in a homosexual relationship?" and "have you had gender reassignment surgery?" So, the former being somewhat open to interpretation from the transgender point of view, the latter clearly wouldn't apply to the plaintiff in the above suit. I don't recall anyone doing a Crocodile Dundee to me at any point during the process, (though we did all have to change for the actual baptisms in a rather small men's room - even with the instinctive "don't look there" imprinted on the male psyche, I'm reasonably certain it would be hard not to notice someone just plain not having what they're supposed to have - but even that wouldn't apply to one being baptized as a woman, especially as the only woman in a particular session, and thus likely alone in the women's room) so it's entirely possible, AFAIK, that such a person could, as an adult, join the Church as the gender they "identify as," without anyone finding out otherwise, and even pass a TR interview, without (in their own mind) having lied at any point during the whole process. (As I recall, one of the locals was able to get his birth certificate legally changed before the surgery, too, so even checking government records might not reveal the truth.) And then, still without (to their belief) lying, entice some faithful member with the same sort of genitals into marriage, without said faithful member knowing until it's too late. Now, that used to be just about the most solid grounds one could have for an annulment anywhere, but who knows with the current mess? The transgender might even be able to successfully sue for breach of promise and emotional distress, among other things, claiming the "incorrect" genitals are simply a deformity. It's starting to sound like the baptismal interviews are going to have to get a lot more direct in asking precisely what you have in your pants right now, in addition to the surgery question.

http://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-report-evil-trump-kidnaps-three-people-from-north-korean-paradise/

I remember Wednesday's breakfast no more, but I could go dig up the receipt and see what it was if it becomes an issue later. Pretty sure God has a better filing system than my pile of pocket litter that hasn't yet been tossed because I'm too lazy to go through it and see what needs to be kept. Not just in the Church; if she's dead, the courts are supposed to presume your innocence until they can prove your guilt, too.

Or just push for a requirement stating that bishops must have souls. Then all of Canada will be safe.

Considering that LDS Scouting seems to consider the Church to be the only "community" worthy of service in the vast majority of cases, (as evidenced by the number of Eagle service projects that only benefited the ward or stake) I'm not sure there really is a distinction to be made for that purpose. Still, other churches have found a very simple way to have both an active Scout troop and an active youth program, simply by keeping them separate and making sure they were held on different evenings. We did relatively little fundraising, since the Smith family has a couple hundred acres about 15 miles away, and at least one of the ASMs also had land where we could camp, as well as some of the other parents. It made for something of a fundraising crunch when major gear needed to be replaced, but the local churches and Lions' Club could always be counted on to provide food for campouts and smaller cash contributions for things like upkeep on the Scout hut. Why is that? Are the YWs discouraged from fundraising, or is their leadership just not willing to set similar goals and work toward them?