daenvgiell

Yeah it was just before midnight that I did that also... might explain why I'm so tired today

WOO! I made it to second nephi, now all I have to do is get up tpo chapter 30... =S

ahhhhh!!!!! I'm still in first nephi!!!!!!

wish I had seen this sooner, I've already started re reading it again, but I'm only up to 1Nephi:15 I'm a bit behind

Thankyou all for your input so far. I need to clarify some things though. My parents are well aware of the large age gap, they are fine with it, we have talked deeply into the issue pretty much covering everything... even well into marriage, I just want to see what other people are thinking and what their opinions are, I am grateful for the responses so far and appreciate all the advise you are giving me. What goes on in my head: I get comfortable thinking I can handle the situation, knowing that I will end up sacrificing a lot if her never changes (which if he did I would be extremely surprised), and then another small issue may arise with its differences between the two of us and I have to start from scratch again, usually resulting to the previous thoughts I had, of this is not going to ever work out, not to my favour anyway. You may think that what I want now, is the guy. Don't get me wrong I would be very happy to get the guy, but I have also been thinking about this issue for a long time now, it's not something that has just come up, I do think about things long and hard... and then always wonder why I'm so indecisive. I have always had my eyes set on the temple marriage goal, but my parents also brought to my attention of something that I was not aware of. Of the generation of my parents and all the people they know that got married in the temple, they are few of who are still married. It just brings it to my attention, that even though I want a temple marriage, it doesn't mean it is goig to stay that way. Having said that it also doesn't mean that if I married outside the temple that it would last either. I know that if any children I had would not be sealed to me, and that there would be conflictions of which church do they go to, what do we teach them, do we teach them any of it? I don't want to sound like a stuck up "teenager" who thinks they know it all. I'm not trying to come across like that at all. All I want to say is that I have thought about this, I am still thinking about it, and I know it's not going to be easy. I'm struggling enough at the moment with my beliefs let alone this issue. Sorry for the long winded post... AGAIN...

Ok so I'm about to write down what I don't tell anyone... except for my parents (and even then it took me months to tell them) I like someone, he's 29 years old (11 years older than me), he likes me back. We both know how we feel each other. One major problem... he's anglican. While I believe it's great that he has some form of religion in his life, It also makes things complicated, as you know, we don't see eye to eye on issues. He likes his tea and coffee, he swears every now and then, and he drinks alcohol... not excessively, he says he likes a nice glass of wine at dinner or he'll have a few beers or something. I don't know how often. So he's off to a party tonight, he invites me along. It's a friends 21st, I know this person from uni and I know that without a doubt there will be alcohol there, so I knock back the invitation, another reason I also have for knocking back the invite is that I'm not much of a party person, I don't feel like I fit in especially as I'm the only mormon there. High school all over again, I can't get away from it, never, no matter where I go, it's bad enough that I'm facing the whole doubt thing about the church and everything as well (but that's a different story, which some may know about because it was already posted on here). Anyway, he said to me "You hide away from it, you shouldn't, you must be proud to be a mormon and therefore choose not to drink. Not because you never go anywhere it's an issue..." I've always believed in staying away from tempation as much as possible, I don't want to have to be faced with the situation, I don't want to have to worry about drinks being spiked and things like that. What is your opinion? do you think it is ok to go to places that have alcohol, or do you think I should just keep doing what I'm doing and avoid them altogether. If I avoid them, I wont ever go anywhere because my friends... all of them at uni, aren't mormons, I am the only one. I am sick and tired of being stuck inside all the time watching movies or something like that, I want to be able to go out and have a good time too, but I don't know if it will ever happen. On this whole guy and thing, we are sort of "dating" and if you ask most members they would advise me not to, its just the way we think and I know it, but I have never felt this way about anyone, although that's not saying much because I'm only 18, but yeah can't control my feelings. My parents know we like each other, and my mum has even said to me that if we ever did become "boyfriend/girlfried" she would support me, and that if it ever did lead to marriage, she would also support me. I keep saying things like what about Temple Marriage (which I don't understand why I see it as so important when I'm having a faith crisis) and she says, she would rather see me happily married to a non member than to a member and being unhappy. I believe this guy would make me happy IF it ever did lead to marriage. So yeah... I'm lost... like really lost. Any advise on any of this wiould be much appreciated. Oh and sorry for the long post... I seem to be doing that a lot lately, guess that's what happens when you don't get out much and don't have anyone to talk to. (story of my life) Ok I'll shutup now.

thats because you can't see the lower half of me, and its not great when I'm a dancer. I'll never even have a chance of getting into a ballet company if I can't lose the weight

which candles burn longer? the candles on a boys birthday cake, or the candles on a girls birthday cake? None they all burn shorter. Yeah pretty lame I know, but I laugh at all the lame joke simply because they are lame!

it is possible that depression is setting in, I don't know, I put on weight at the beginning of the year and I haven't been able to get it off. I also didn't sleep well for awhile although that seems to have improved a bit since then. Not really a change in appetite, I love my food.

I used to think I had a testimony of the church, but now I'm not so sure. I have moved away from home, living on the other side of the country so that I can study at a university. It is a Private Christian College and I thought being here would be great, I am ejoying my dancing, but my beliefs are dying. I don't know what it is. Some days I even think how can there even be anyone up there at all. I don't know why this is happening, I don't know how else to explain it. I read the scriptures more than when I was back home, I still go to church every week, I completed my YW booklet and got my necklace, completed Seminary... and none of it has seemed to make a difference. I feel so lost right now. I pray morning and night, but I don't know if I can feel the spirit, don't know if I ever have and I just feel like crying every time I think about it. So I am lost, not sure if someone is up there some days, not sure if the church and its teachings are true, sick and tired of struggling and crying all the time, wondering if I have the strength to keep going. So now that I have said all that, do you possibly think there is any hope for me at all, and what I can do to hopefully get the testimony I want. I so want to believe it all, but I'm just not getting it. I really need some help, anything will be appreciated!

so what do we do now?

phew, what a relief, thanks for your help

ah thanks very much, I had one today, it was to release tention or something like that in a very sore muscle, that makes me feel so much better, I was worried about it

ok so what's the deal on it, are we not allowed to do it, are we allowed to do it?

Ok so what happens if I'm doing it because I want to, but I'm not getting that connection, I just feel like I'm doing ordinary research when I have done scipture study, my scripture study has included me using the Preach My Gospel. Where would I get the books from? I don't really have any money, I'm am a uni student. Also just a different problem, the uni I go to is a Christian uni, and sometimes I don't know what to believe, on those cases I have come home and researched them myself.

I pray every morning and night, it was the scripture study that I hadn't done for a few weeks. Why I want to pray - I've just gotten into the habbit, but I think that even if I do doubt it, don't close the door on it, talk to him, try and understand things, I'm not sure what's going on, I seem to just do it, and sometimes I think that's a bad thing because I get very repetitive and I think I stop thinking about what I'm really saying. Why I want to study scriptures - I want to learn as much as I can about the gospel, I don't really know much about it and I want to know if it is the truth, I don't feel like I've ever had the witness of it's truth.

Why do you suggest I stop praying and my scripture study? It seems a little odd

It's always sad when something like this happens. Best wishes for him and his family

Ok so this is going to be hard, I am going through this stage myself, I am a little embarrassed and ashamed to actually bring it up. I am having so much trouble and I go through changing opinions all the time, one minute I believe it completely and then I get doubts, it keeps changing all the time and I really want to know the truth like others say they have, I was born into the church so it's pretty much tradition, and my goal is to get married in the temple, but sometimes I just don't know why. This is really hard for me and I say my prayers every morning and night and I try to do my own scripture study every morning, although that hasn't happened the last 2 weeks. I really really really want to know without a doubt of those things, but I just change my thoughts on it so often, I really need some help. I know I could probably talk to my family, but I feel so ashamed that I don't want to bring it up with them, also the fact that I live on the other side of the country by myself compared to them. Please help me. You all seem to have really good advice.

HAHA that was a good read!

I read the scriptures everyday except for saturday it seems, I get up every morning and do my own study and then I also use my scriptures at church

I use the Preach My Gospel (even though I'm not actually called as a missionary) and I also use gospel principals, True to the Faith and the institute books.

I only have the 2nd part of the old testament. The problem for me is money, I don't have a lot of it I only have about 12 dollars a fortnight to work with.

Ok so I'll do a brief thing first. I have finished seminary, I've moved to the other side of the country and I'm all by myself, going to uni. Seeing as I don't have seminary anymore and I would like to continue my scripture study, how do I get a topic to study. I never know what to study and when I don't know what I want to studyI usually end up not studying at all. So I guess what I'm trying to say is can someone give me ideas or help as to first select a topic and then actually know the best way to go from there. Also just a quick question, is it ok to write in the scriptures with pen, or is that not a good idea? All help and advice will be appreciated.

Thankyou all, it has really helped me.