askandanswer

I’ve got a new favourite piece of music. It’s the overture from Wagner’s Tannhauser. This is the music that I would like to hear being sung as I walk through the pearly gates into the Celestial Kingdom. Picture this: After a period of mortality filled with struggle and difficulty and hardship, and slow but constant refinement, you eventually learn to fully submit your whole self to the will of the Father, and completely put aside the natural man. Having lived a good life and overcome the sorrows and snares of this life, you finally have your one-on-one interview with the Saviour. He listens to all that you have to say with perfect love and understanding, and you KNOW with all your soul that He knows you and loves you and understands you, and that He is so happy that you have endured mortality well and kept the faith. He puts His arm around your shoulders, looks into your face and says Well done thou good and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy of thy Lord. After shedding tears and feeling His love for you, and being overcome with gratitude for the mercy and power and glory of the Plan of Salvation, you look over towards the pearly gates, and see your loved ones who have preceded you. You get up off your knees and start walking towards them, through those gates, leaving this world behind, and entering into a new and eternal life. And this is what you hear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6OQCncAiC8

Ahh, that explains your absence. I was wondering where you'd gone. I hope you recover soon.

Now I'm really confused. I'm guessing that some days you are an Icelandic woman and some days you are not?

Its just that I noticed that on page 2 of this discussion, there were avatars of both Vort and Ztodd, and that reminded me of Vort's post of about a year ago.

A small diversion here: Vort, be not deceived. The avatar of ztodd is a kitten, not a pig.

So after trying, and failing in the plan suggested by the folk prophet, the slightly attractive second kitchen assistant, Mrs Gator, realised that that’s all he was – just a folk prophet, and not the real deal. So she decided to do what she should have done in the first plan and turn to the scriptures. After reading Joshua chapter 6, she decided that marching around the castle blowing trumpets was a very ZILly idea because she was trying to escape from the castle, not break into it, and besides, there was a severe shortage of trumpets in the castle at the time. So then she turned to the real, correctly translated, truer Book of Mormon and read Mosiah 22 and found out that the tried and tested way to escape from or into a place of captivity is to make some wine, give it to the guards, get them drunk and then get through or over the back pass, through the back wall, on the back side of the city. (See Mosiah 22:6 and Alma 55: 8 – 16) She decided to follow the example taught in the scriptures and to try this out. Realising that the best home made brew was made with jojoba nuts (yes, there is such a kind of nut https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jojoba) she took her jojobags out of the cupboard and headed off for the secret garden. When she got near the garden, she realised that there were two ways in – through the gator over the fence. She climbed over the fence and headed for the jojoba nut shrubs. Along the way she passed by the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Having read in a poorly translated book that it’s fruit had the power to induce hallucinogenic visions that led the eater to believe they knew the difference between good and evil, she hacked off a few pieces of fruit. After gathering up three bags full of jojoba nuts, she stopped and thought maybe I (V)ort to get a few more, so she scrunched up and squashed down what she had already put into her bags so that she could put Maureen. Having got what she needed, she made her way back to the kitchen. After slicing the fruit and nuts, she began to sauté them in her frying pam.

Dear Sister Gator Notwithstanding the apparently warm welcome with which members of this forum appear to have extended to you, your application for membership of this forum has been DENIED Once you have dempnstrated a more enlightened and discerning ability to choose a suitable male companion, the Board will be pleased to reconsider your application. With regrets, Miss Prim Secretary, Anti-gator Group

I was wondering how long it would take you to notice the extraneous comma in your unedited post after the word poor.

Sigh L Once again, the one and only candle in my life is inexplicably and thoughtlessly extinguished and like Moroni, “ I even remain alone (Mormon 8:3). I guess I better just sadly slink back to my all-too-familiar dark and dingy hole.

I must admit, I'm very surprised that you actually admit it! Here on the forum, you can choose whatever name you like.

It would appear that both the lightning rod and the angel attached to on the first Nauvoo Temple were ineffective given how that temple was finally destroyed

Thank goodness you're here. Now we no longer need mormongator. Goodbye Mormongator.

I know what I will do, she thought to herself, I will do as Moroni did when fighting the Lamanites, and seek counsel from the Lord's anointed. So she called for thefolkprophet, and after making him the appropriate offerings, she asked him what she should do. He counselled her to ditch the boat plan and to make a speedy escape using his friends JAGuar. By way of parting counsel, just before he left, the folk prophet reminded her one more time - if I've told you once, I've told you a ZILlion times, the way to distract the unixknight guarding the moat is to get your maid to offer him a juicy, barbecued piece of Beefche. He's bound to be distracted by one or the other. And once you get in the JAG, don't worry about using the GPS, just follow the PAM, I mean map, hidden under the front seat. So with her plan firmly in place, LadyGator set as her escape date Sunday21 of the following month.

You have to be 90 before you get senior citizen prices at IHOP?! and you'll see pure electrons, buster! But Zil, this is wonderful! Does this mean that you too feel the sparks and sparkles between us?

Okay, okay. I was going to carry this secret to my grave, but you’ve forced it out of me. You, you, you, only you, always you, eternally YOU, are my secret obsession. You have been from the moment I read your first post on this site. And as for my compulsive behaviour? It’s reading and re-reading, all day, every day, every word, every sentence, yes, even every letter, of the precious pearls of purity that flow through the electrons leading from your computer to mine. Sorry, Pam, I've always known that you held secret hopes in your heart, your feelings were not a secret to me, but it could never be. I just have this thing for single elderly American women with a passion for science and Russian literature. While you tick most of those boxes, you just don’t quite measure up when it comes to Russian literature. As for the “problem” of obsessing over one of Gator’s wives, well I’m not worried about that at all. I mean, you know, well, he’s only a gator – nothing more than a pair of future alligator skin boots. And it’s a long way from Florida to Australia, so I’ve got nothing to worry about. Besides, Gator being the excellent bloke that he is, I’m sure he has no problem with sharing.

I'm guessing that's something you've done about a zillion times before?

I wouldn't recommend it either, but for Zil I'm prepared to make an exception.

If I see anything pertinent to Carb's salvation, I'm going to do my best to keep it a secret - salvation is meant to be a condition we are all supposed to enjoy.

Nope, not really but thanks for the response

Thanks Carb. Interesting and thought provoking

Why do we have Moroni on top of our temples rather than Elijah? Given that the spirit of Elijah is thought to be the great driving force that motivates many of us to do family history, the end product of which is temple work, surely Elijah is more deserving than Moroni of the top spot on the temple? If Moroni is there to commemorate/celebrate the restoration of the gospel, then wouldn’t Joseph Smith or Peter, James and John be more suitable candidates? Moroni was instrumental in bringing forth the Book of Mormon, but that is only one of many, many parts of the restored gospel, the fullness of which was restored through Joseph Smith. And the Book of Mormon and the gospel are only made useful and effective by the restoration of the Priesthood.

Like I said Zil, if you stop inhaling, in less than a day you will have solved your problem with exhaling.

I came across this verse while doing my scripture reading this morning. It may have some relevance to this thread. (New Testament | Revelation 16:14) 14 For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles, which go forth unto the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty. This seems to suggest that the devil does have some sort of power to perform miracles (which some might think of as a form of magic) and that this power is transferable to his assistants.

Did Isaiah get it wrong? (Old Testament | Isaiah 13:19 - 21) 9 ¶ And Babylon, the glory of kingdoms, the beauty of the Chaldees' excellency, shall be as when God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah. 20 It shall never be inhabited, neither shall it be dwelt in from generation to generation: neither shall the Arabian pitch tent there; neither shall the shepherds make their fold there. 21 But wild beasts of the desert shall lie there; and their houses shall be full of doleful creatures; and owls shall dwell there, and satyrs shall dance there. Hussein regime In 1983, Saddam Hussein began rebuilding the city on top of the old ruins. (Consequently, artifacts and other finds may be under the city.) Hussein invested in both restoration and new construction in Babylon, as well as Ninevah, Nimrud, Assur and Hatra, to demonstrate the magnificence of Arab achievement.[30] He installed a portrait of himself and Nebuchadnezzar at the entrance to the ruins, and reinforced the Processional Way—a large boulevard of ancient stones—and the Lion of Babylon, a black rock sculpture about 2,600 years old. . Present-day Following the invasion of Iraq, the area around Babylon came under the control of US troops, before being handed over to Polish forces in September 2003.[31] US forces under the command of General James T. Conway of the 1st Marine Expeditionary Force were criticized for building the military base "Camp Alpha", with a helipad and other facilities on ancient Babylonian ruins following the Iraq War. US forces have occupied the site for some time See also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JmbC633_ds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5_v_uxAwR0 This extract from Wikipedia, and the two youtube clips are just three examples of how Babylon has been rebuilt and inhabited and there is no sign at all that the new Babylon is inhabited by wild beasts, doleful creatures or dancing satyrs.

I think this inhaling thing is something you really need to try harder to break. I know smokers who have died from too much inhaling. Once you get over the inhaling, the exhaling should be easy to handle. Just take it one day at a time. I'm pretty sure that if you can get through just one day of not inhaling, you will probably never exhale again.