MorningStar

I think it's a terrible idea.

Also, if you think your wife treats sex like a chore, how do porn actresses or prostitutes make things better for you? It's a chore for them too, only paid. They don't get into the business because they like sex a lot.

What if you were never married? Would have have had an "encounter" with a sex worker? Would you have a porn addiction? Most likely. Time to stop blaming your wife and she deserves to know that you committed adultery.

He can't apologize to her because of the protection order. He can't even ask someone else to apologize to her.

I just wanted to add that you could send a tip to the police and have that massage parlor shut down for prostitution.

Read this link: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (Abuse) - The Cycle When a spouse throws an object, it sends a message that you did so because you were trying to control your urge to hurt them. So your wife isn't thinking, "Hey, at least he didn't abuse me." She's possibly thinking that it was leading to physical abuse.

He said he has an 18-month-old daughter.

I don't think women know what they're getting into when they knowingly marry a porn addict. Sometimes they think sex will cure their husbands, which is not true. You said she was tired of ultimatums. What kind did you give her? You said you felt entitled to her body. In what way did you show that? It's pretty major for a woman to get a protection order from her husband, so I feel like we're not getting the whole story. My advice is to not do anything to violate the protection order in any way. When my friend had a protection order, her husband told his son, "Tell your mom I love her." That landed him in jail. If you think there is some hope for your future together, write down everything in a journal and date each entry. Tell her you wanted to confess to her the massage parlor incident, but you couldn't. Maybe document any therapy sessions you go to, addiction recovery groups, etc. It's her decision to make if she wants to give you another chance.

Sweet, sweet ignoring. I've actually been working on my ignoring skills, so I think I can handle that.

The password is: I throw your computer down the stairs. Who has the upper hand now? Huh?

I really appreciate your input! Yes, this is our landline phone. I'm thinking I should turn the ringer off on the base anyway because it's in our room and I've had several friends try to text me, thinking it was a cell phone, which they also do at awful hours. I'm not worried about offending her, but I don't want to end our friendship over her drinking. I talked to a friend today and she said maybe I should be gentle with her about it because she's fragile and I said, "No, I think it's OK if she knows I'm mad. She will have to recognize a pattern of ill behavior due to her drinking. But I'll still be her friend." The consequence of calling someone in the middle of the night because you're drunk is that they get angry.

Thanks! What I mean is, "Don't call me when you're drunk."

What a difficult issue. In the ward I grew up in, there was a guy who had sexually abused his step daughter and he was never near children at church. I never worried about him doing anything because so many people were watching him and didn't trust him. His step daughter told a friend at school what was going on, then she told my mom (who was legally required to report it), and then she moved out of state to live with her dad. Her mom never talked about her again and didn't have any pictures of her in her home. There was another guy who was never charged with anything that I know of, but he was around children all the time in a way that made everyone uncomfortable, even more than the first guy because he spent all of his free time around children. There are guys who are just awesome and love children, but this was different.

I have never had a friend before who is a big drinker. It's a long story. I became friends with a woman who went through a major crisis and even during the worst time, she respected my boundaries. If it weren't for some very clear signs that I was meant to help her, I would have avoided the whole thing. She has PTSD and has used anti-anxiety meds that had bad side effects for her, so she started turning to alcohol, especially since she married her new husband. I talked to her one day in the afternoon and she said, "I should let you know that I'm a little buzzed right now, but not drunk." It was about 4pm and she wasn't acting quite like herself. A month or so later, I got a call from her at 2:30am and I decided to let the voicemail get it because I felt it wasn't an emergency. She was calling just to talk about how hard things were and I suspected she was drunk. Again, I didn't hear from her for months because she has been depressed, but she called this morning at 4:30! I immediately decided not to answer. With any other friend, I would know it's an emergency, but I decided to ignore it. After voicemail picked up, she immediately called again, then again. I still felt like I should ignore it, but I did start to wonder if she had a child who needed to go to the hospital. I felt slightly guilty, but then I have two children who are sick and there's nothing I could have done for her. So I talked to her around noon and she said she had been up packing all night and was drinking with her husband. She suddenly realized there were all of these things she hadn't told me and was excited to tell me some odd, but good news (long story). I said, "So you called me because you were drunk? When people call at that hour, it terrifies me and I think someone died." She was embarrassed, but we did have a good conversation about things that were going on and she said she wants to come back to church, but isn't ready to live it yet. I said, "That's a start though. Maybe the desire will come later." Still, I'm concerned about her drinking and am wondering if I should have just picked up the phone and said, "IT'S 4:30AM AND YOU'RE WAKING UP MY FAMILY!!!!" Being not experienced with drunks though, I don't know how much of that would sink in. I know PTSD and drinking are a bad combo. Anyone have much experience with drunks? My plan for now is to say, "Call me later when you're sober." I hate alcohol.

Thanks for this!

Very cool! I might try that. And maybe it will end the whining, "Why do I have to do that?!"

I don't know the policies, my my mom's ward had a meeting with the adults and made an announcement that Brother ______ was no longer allowed within x amount of feet of their church building, to keep their kids away from him, and that several missionaries were sent home early because of him. I don't know if that applies to all wards or just theirs, but he is in legal trouble and had been in therapy for years to fight his urges.

What an insensitive thing to do! If you're going to carry, do it where people can't see it.

It does seem there is a neverending list of complaints about policies the church should change. It's getting old. Heavenly Father is offering us the blessings of exaltation for all of eternity and we're going to whine about who gets to say the opening prayer at conference? I've had friends say that maybe women should get to hold their babies when they are blessed so they can feel a part of it. Why? Because me and my uterus haven't monopolized the baby enough already? I get to hold the baby all day long, every day, and every night. Everyone in the chapel is quite aware by then that I gave birth and that it was awesome. Let my husband have his special moment!

My mom was upset to learn that the work had been done for my grandma because we don't have proof of her death because she has been missing for over 40 years. When and if we do, we want the privilege of being baptized for her. So she contacted someone and now there is a note saying that only family is allowed to do the work for her.

These comments that our apostles haven't seen Jesus for 100 years or more seem to imply that they aren't inspired, or that they are frauds. If they were faking it, what would their motivation be and wouldn't you think liars would declare left and right that they had seen Jesus?

Does your plot involve a 30 minute long struggle over the blanket? I think it will keep people on the edge of their seats.

When I saw the title from the forum home page, I thought it was someone demanding less Vort. Good job with the weight loss!

I feel like we do a lot of things for the whole church and not just for women. Women give talks, we teach seminary (to boys and girls), Gospel Doctrine (to men and women), we are missionaries, etc.

I really don't care one way or the other. My feelings as a woman aren't going to be changed by listening to women pray twice a year at General Conference when I hear women pray all the time. I think it's silly to try to change that by protest.